External Link/Members OnlyLocation: Approx 40 minutes to the NW of Munich, but Munich is a big city so it depends where you are. Note that FKK Mystic in Salzburg Austria, the other side of Munich, has closed which must have a knock on effect. Although it does look like Mystic is due to reopen as something similar according to their website.
Date/Time: Sunday in September 24. 1 till 5pm.
Girls: Approx 18 (versus 5 guys initially increasing to 15). All white, no black, although one was a bit Arabic looking. I’d say most were 30+ unfortunately. Plenty of fake lips, fewer fake tits and a couple of fake asses. Most had dark hair. Some fatties and only a couple I would describe as thin. Lots of makeup on most. Was pretty poor compared to Sharks or Wellcum, and not many I would want to bang.
Club: Has a small car park to the right and plenty of free on street parking. Has a welcoming prison landing style door, and a buzzer next to it. Buzzed in very quick and stepped into a small reception. Very pleasant lady gave a helpful brief in English, telling us €70 per 30 min and that we have to approach the ladies. Given two towels and some sliders and taken into the changing room and given lockers.
This is where the experience took a strange turn. My friend went to the toilet, and I rounded a corner in the locker room and came face to face with, none other than the fuhrer himself, Adolf Hitler. Bavaria was the last place I expected to see him. Aged considerably and now with white hair, he still sports a black moustache. We both froze and he looked at me like he knew I knew, and I just hope I was looking back like I wouldn’t tell. Fortunately my friend returned to break the silence and we headed in.
Was almost like walking into a work canteen. Immediately greeted by several tables where 8 or so girls were sat naked gobbling down food out of silver takeaway boxes. Nice I thought. Walked through them and there’s a bar on the left, a small cold indoor pool after that, then a jacuzzi a plunge pool and 3 saunas. Some fat bloke plugged the jacuzzi along with a large woman and they were getting it on in there. For hours.
We grabbed some free soft drinks and patrolled the space. Around 18 girls and hardly any guys. Maybe 5 when we arrived. Saw a sign for an underground cinema and a TV video showed what looked like the roof. We didn’t go in either. Not a great deal of opportunity was presented during the patrol. We sat down and watched the women go by, and those eating eat their scoff.
The routine seemed to be the girls place a towel in a spot and leave their handbag next to it. Some in 2s or 3s, but many sat alone and didn’t speak to any guys in the 5 hours we were there. At one point a man in black leather trousers walked in, dragging his leg behind him and carrying what looked like a tool bag. All that was missing was a chainsaw. The masseuse had arrived.
So here we go…
Girl 1: Yasmina, 35, Hungary. At long range this looked the best. A couple of big milkers that looked a bit too pert, with a nice face and smile. At close range it was then I realised this girl was not 20 like I hoped. Alas it was too late and I thought fuck it. Off we went upstairs. €70 for 30 mins, plus €50 to shoot in her gob. Room had a mirror on the ceiling which was great. Super BJ, sucked and licked the ballbag, a couple of positions, then back to BJ. Good service and she was a nice person. I asked how old she was, and she also said she had worked there for 14 years!!! €120 paid.
Now I had my eye on a blond slim girl with glasses. Very girl next door looking. However I knew she was upstairs with Hitler. I thought this would put me off, but in the 30 minutes I had to wait, I decided it would be one for the memories. Unfortunately the 30 minutes turned into an hour, clearly he has a decent war pension. When she did come back she was immediately snapped up by someone else so I thought fuck it and moved on.
Girl 2: Julia, approx late 20s, Romanian. Fitter body but again lots of makeup at close range. Agreed 70 plus 50, this time for a facial. Same drill as before, but in the room wanted yet more to lick my balls! I said no thanks. I stroked off onto her face, which she annoyingly put her hand over. She said she worked there six years. Total €120.
And with that, we were gone. Sent a quick email to Simon Wiesenthal before typing this (priorities).
