Those married 25 years plus ....

[Spacecowb0y]

A rant and rave and also a question to the long sufferers .....

You love her
It works on so many levels
Sex is shit or non existant
Punting fills a need (sort of)
Had an affair but sold my soul
Too chicken shit to walk out on an affluent life
What to do? ( no wrong answers, more a discussion)
GO! ......

[Dylanbob]

I have not got a wife. I have had girlfriends and can hand on heart say I have not cheated on any of them. They ran there course.

I don’t pretend to know the ins and outs of everyone’s situations but if I was in a “shit” relationship I would just leave. Don’t get me wrong I wouldn’t emigrate and not speak to the kids, but surely life is too short to be unhappy.

That’s my two cents

[Payyourwaymate]

Does it really work on so many levels if your main fear of leaving is walking out on the affluent life and not the person?

Unless one of you leaves it will be a question of who dies first I guess, since that situation describes someone being trapped of their own volition.

[MrFritz]

I have a similar situation, although I have never had an affair. I have found that I have to compromise on the sex as it is restricted to what the Mrs wants and that's all I will get in the marital bed. Punting gives me occasional relief and is ok for now.
I won't leave. Not just because of the financial injury, but I've not met any woman in the last 15 years that I would be happy to leave her for. The decent ones are taken and it's only the neurotic ones, ones with baggage or fatties that are left.
Another consideration is that I'm getting on, so am not the catch my ego once thought I was! 
I've found as I get older, I meet fewer new people. Some of the women I know are terrific, but happy in their life and I wouldn't jeopardise their friendship by suggesting anything more. Most of the other women I know are either boring or a pain in the arse or both, so not interested in them.
I wouldn't want to live on my own in reduced circumstances.
So, it looks like compromise is the only immediate course for me with the odd punting delight. It's not ideal, but it will have to do.

[Stevelondon]

The subject is far more complex than a case of “ if your married, why cheat”

What is it about having sex with someone other than your wife makes it cheating.
Is it a moral debate we are having here ?

Is it a religious thing we are talking about here. Forsaking all others and all that crap.

As far as I’m concerned. I bet there are millions of happy marriages going on out there…… because the hubby is punting.

It’s just bloody sex.

[elnukky]

This is one of my big fears when it comes to getting married. Assuming that there was once sexual chemistry between you both, where did it start to go wrong? Has the attraction faded on both sides?

From what I have seen, this usually happens when couples get too comfortable with being attached and no longer date each other. You have to stoke the coals of passion.

[maybe]

You love her - Check
It works on so many levels - check - lifestyle just works well
Sex is shit or non existant - check - Zero Sex
Punting fills a need (sort of) - check - Having Sex
Had an affair but sold my soul - check - Not doing it again
Too chicken shit to walk out on an affluent life - check - Women generally earn less than men but own more properties than Men due to the phenomena called divorce.
What to do? ( no wrong answers, more a discussion) - carry on punting and don't escalate.
GO! ......

I had an long-ish affair once and was caught up in the excitement, it was taking time and money and was becoming harder to hide and even thought of divorcing and splitting up at one point. However, I was lucky it was with someone with a similar mindset who also extremely discreet. Eventually, once the initial buzz fizzled out we did a clean break after a few years. 

In hindsight and upon reflection, if she was a more sticky / clingy / jealous type, then breaking up it could have literally fucked me over. It could have cost a divorce, my house, a lot of stress and even affect my health. I felt lucky it didn't end that way.

Now, my bottom line is avoiding anything that takes my attention and affection from home, so i'm strictly punting only and avoiding anything more intimate.

Upon reflecting as I type this post, I'm actually quite happy with kids, a house and stable job, the only problem is that I've been celibate for over 10 years in 25+ years of marriage. Its very likely that if i didn't punt then we would have problems and be in divorce territory already. Therefore, I could consider punting, a white lie activity that maintains stability of the marriage.

I've seen some interviews of young to middle aged (very good looking and affluent) ladies who were asked if seeing a sex worker is considered cheating. The answer was generally no unless you start spending money i.e. gifts. This obviously isn't everyone's view, but at least it is for some women, and also for me.

Actually, i do feel she is turning a blind eye but as long as there are no tell tale signs and her life isn't affected, then she ignores it ... women are very sensitive beings, we think we're smart, but sometimes they are smarter.

This is how i rate various kinds of 'cheating' from benign to serious
- Looking at another woman - Possible Scolding
- Dream about someone - Scolding + Disapproval
- Strip bar - Scolding + Disapproval
- Punting - Life changing stress + possible divorce
- Mistress - Definite Divorce + untold amounts of stress, hassle and animosity.

My final thought. When i get bored of punting and i hope that happens way before I retire. I would like to travel the world. Travelling requires money and if I had mistress(es) i can definitely kiss that retirement dream goodbye.

[ik8133]

I have a similar situation, although I have never had an affair. I have found that I have to compromise on the sex as it is restricted to what the Mrs wants and that's all I will get in the marital bed. Punting gives me occasional relief and is ok for now.
I won't leave. Not just because of the financial injury, but I've not met any woman in the last 15 years that I would be happy to leave her for. The decent ones are taken and it's only the neurotic ones, ones with baggage or fatties that are left.
Another consideration is that I'm getting on, so am not the catch my ego once thought I was! 
I've found as I get older, I meet fewer new people. Some of the women I know are terrific, but happy in their life and I wouldn't jeopardise their friendship by suggesting anything more. Most of the other women I know are either boring or a pain in the arse or both, so not interested in them.
I wouldn't want to live on my own in reduced circumstances.
So, it looks like compromise is the only immediate course for me with the odd punting delight. It's not ideal, but it will have to do.

I resonate with this completely!

[Stevelondon]

I have a similar situation, although I have never had an affair. I have found that I have to compromise on the sex as it is restricted to what the Mrs wants and that's all I will get in the marital bed. Punting gives me occasional relief and is ok for now.
I won't leave. Not just because of the financial injury, but I've not met any woman in the last 15 years that I would be happy to leave her for. The decent ones are taken and it's only the neurotic ones, ones with baggage or fatties that are left.
Another consideration is that I'm getting on, so am not the catch my ego once thought I was! 
I've found as I get older, I meet fewer new people. Some of the women I know are terrific, but happy in their life and I wouldn't jeopardise their friendship by suggesting anything more. Most of the other women I know are either boring or a pain in the arse or both, so not interested in them.
I wouldn't want to live on my own in reduced circumstances.
So, it looks like compromise is the only immediate course for me with the odd punting delight. It's not ideal, but it will have to do.

Jeez fuckin wept. Listen to yourself.
I’ll stay with the woman I’m with cos I’ve not met anyone better or who I fancy enough who I would leave her for. 😂

I’m no expert on this but I bet you’re not the only one thinking along these lines.

I think marriage is a bit like communism.
Sounds ok on paper but in reality…………😂

[Punting2022]

Reading these threads marriage doesnt look like its as good. All my mates are bored too.
Best to stay single. Casual date. Shag prosse and seeking gyals

[MrFritz]

Jeez fuckin wept. Listen to yourself.
I’ll stay with the woman I’m with cos I’ve not met anyone better or who I fancy enough who I would leave her for. 😂

I’m no expert on this but I bet you’re not the only one thinking along these lines.

I think marriage is a bit like communism.
Sounds ok on paper but in reality…………😂

I should add some context. She had an affair about 8 years ago. The continual denials before confession eroded trust and resulted in further distance in the marriage, irreparably so. I began punting to get my own back, selfish, but there we go. The .marriage has got better but will likely never recover fully. I am a selfish bastard, so won't give up punting. I've considered leaving but it never appealed.

[Cheshuk]

Reading these threads marriage doesnt look like its as good. All my mates are bored too.
Best to stay single. Casual date. Shag prosse and seeking gyals

Same, met a women of seeking a few months ago who didn't want any money for sex, she was more than a decade older than me, we talked in depth and openly. She was early 40s and just got out of a sexless marriage of 20 years, she was a classy hot milf type and had all these things she wanted to do sexually and repressed them, raised them with her partner at one point, he was shocked, sounded a prude, and sex stopped altogether. Eventually walked and was making up for lost time, she regretted not doing so sooner but was scared of losing the comfort.

Had dinner with a friend the other day (late 20s), he was saying he's been in his relationship a little over a year and sex had dried up, he tried talking to her and telling me his gf gets visibly uncomfortable at sex discussions as she's a 'good girl' type, washes his uniform, cooks (he's in the military) but this is his one major issue, said very likely a sign of things to come if you marry her.

op don't know why you don't raise the issue/communicate with your spouse (can't see mention of that) then decide whether to take a risk and look for the relationship with 'passion' you desire (be realistic with your prospects) or stay in a comfortable unsatisfying situation if you don't think you can do better, living a life of what if.

Can't say i've heard much good either, a lot sound like the love you have for a relative after a while. Personally don't think i'd ever lock myself into a relationship contractually, being human, risk seems very high of comfort/security setting in & terms of the relationship changing, people change over time etc.

Imo binding any form of relationship legally without enforceable terms (not possible in marriage), seems entirely counterproductive to ensuring both parties try hard to be the best partner they can, with marriage rates declining possibly generational thinking.

[simon07]

Watching historical TV series called Marco Polo.

Emperors, High Officials etc. have their concubines and even have sex whilst wife is there. Some had 3, 4 wives plus. Call it 100s if you are an emperor. This marriage business with its religious binding is a modern affair and does not seen to be in human nature as seen in the past. 

[MissWolf]

I have a similar situation, although I have never had an affair. I have found that I have to compromise on the sex as it is restricted to what the Mrs wants and that's all I will get in the marital bed. Punting gives me occasional relief and is ok for now.
I won't leave. Not just because of the financial injury, but I've not met any woman in the last 15 years that I would be happy to leave her for. The decent ones are taken and it's only the neurotic ones, ones with baggage or fatties that are left.
Another consideration is that I'm getting on, so am not the catch my ego once thought I was! 
I've found as I get older, I meet fewer new people. Some of the women I know are terrific, but happy in their life and I wouldn't jeopardise their friendship by suggesting anything more. Most of the other women I know are either boring or a pain in the arse or both, so not interested in them.
I wouldn't want to live on my own in reduced circumstances.
So, it looks like compromise is the only immediate course for me with the odd punting delight. It's not ideal, but it will have to do.

You leave a relationship because its wrong, you leave for yourself. To leave for someone else is almost always a mistake as you can never really know another person fully through just an affair,  you can also never really know yourself until you have been on your own and found happiness in yourself.

Nobody else can make us happy, we can be happy together, but we have to be happy with ourselves and who we are, we have to like ourselves to make a happy partnership.  (I use we as in the Royal we not as in us)

I'm not judging anyone for the state of their marriages or for punting that would be hypothetical to the max, I have great sympathy for the situations we find ourselves in and the pressure we,  family, friends and and society in general places on us to be seen as successful within to context of marriage and family, it's an incredibly complex and emotional situation.

[MissWolf]

The subject is far more complex than a case of “ if your married, why cheat”

What is it about having sex with someone other than your wife makes it cheating.
Is it a moral debate we are having here ?

Is it a religious thing we are talking about here. Forsaking all others and all that crap.

As far as I’m concerned. I bet there are millions of happy marriages going on out there…… because the hubby is punting.

It’s just bloody sex.

Absolutely this, sex work and punting keeps many more families and marriages together than it ever breaks apart

[Momodan38]

My personal advice is never go down these mental rabbit holes. Technically your home life and punting life can stay 100% separated (unless you royally fuck up), so there’s no need to think about one whilst your going about your day in the other. It’s playing ignorant, contradictory even but it may work for you.

PS - It’s a shame what some single people think what marriage life is “really” like these days. It’s not that bad… honest

[Billy no mates]

I also wanted to chime in and say I am happily married.

Every persons experience differs, and I sympathise with those who are unhappy within their marriages. I would recommend marriage once you find the right girl.

Been together for 38 years and married for 32.

[Payyourwaymate]

Absolutely this, sex work and punting keeps many more families and marriages together than it ever breaks apart

I personally disagree because if that was really the case then the husbands would be transparent with their wives about their punting activities and the marriage will still be able to go strong and not end in divorce, since it is just sex and the marital bond transcends sexual activity  .

There are probably some couples that have an understanding which is great for them and I can respect that, but from most cases I have seen or been aware of and maybe some married people can say here, if their wife finds out about their punting, odds are their life is going to go to the shitter.

[tynetunnel]

I also wanted to chime in and say I am happily married.

Every persons experience differs, and I sympathise with those who are unhappy within their marriages. I would recommend marriage once you find the right girl.

Been together for 38 years and married for 32.

It’s wonderful that you feel as you do, and you are right that every persons experience differs. Mine does. I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask, as others surely will if I don’t….

You are a self proclaimed happily married man, I’m intrigued as to how you contrast that bold statement alongside the obvious elephant in the room, being that you have notched up an impressive 65 reviews of your prostitution experiences over the past 9 years. Is it those dalliances that have made married life more happy? Are those experiences undertaken with the blessings of your good lady? Does she encourage you to broaden your carnal knowledge? Maybe you have uncovered the real secret to a happy and fulfilled marriage. I take my hat off to you 

[shed]

The subject is far more complex than a case of “ if your married, why cheat”

What is it about having sex with someone other than your wife makes it cheating.
Is it a moral debate we are having here ?

Is it a religious thing we are talking about here. Forsaking all others and all that crap.

As far as I’m concerned. I bet there are millions of happy marriages going on out there…… because the hubby is punting.

It’s just bloody sex.

Understand what you are saying. But what if your wife or partner whas shagging other men ? Acceptable to you ?

[pbrown355]

It's just bloody sex. If you can do that with no emotional confusion then "It's just bloody sex"

[Billy no mates]

It’s wonderful that you feel as you do, and you are right that every persons experience differs. Mine does. I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask, as others surely will if I don’t….

You are a self proclaimed happily married man, I’m intrigued as to how you contrast that bold statement alongside the obvious elephant in the room, being that you have notched up an impressive 65 reviews of your prostitution experiences over the past 9 years. Is it those dalliances that have made married life more happy? Are those experiences undertaken with the blessings of your good lady? Does she encourage you to broaden your carnal knowledge? Maybe you have uncovered the real secret to a happy and fulfilled marriage. I take my hat off to you 

I have my wife’s blessing, and she has joined me on occasion (not for a few years now tho)

One of my reviews is actually her reviewing a solo meet with Miss Chelsea Brook back in 2016

[Stevelondon]

Understand what you are saying. But what if your wife or partner whas shagging other men ? Acceptable to you ?

Who says he’s not 😂

[Stevelondon]

It's just bloody sex. If you can do that with no emotional confusion then "It's just bloody sex"

But is’nt that what punting is mostly all about.
Emotional unattachment.


For those wanting something a bit more then Seeking I suppose may be where you would go. I’m no expert so am only guessing.
Then looking to have an affair the other way.

But it is always sex. Bloody sex. 🤷🏼

[Stevelondon]

I personally disagree because if that was really the case then the husbands would be transparent with their wives about their punting activities and the marriage will still be able to go strong and not end in divorce, since it is just sex and the marital bond transcends sexual activity  .

There are probably some couples that have an understanding which is great for them and I can respect that, but from most cases I have seen or been aware of and maybe some married people can say here, if their wife finds out about their punting, odds are their life is going to go to the shitter.

Well I shall disagree with you. As I said earlier it is more complex because of everyone’s different circumstances.

The married man whose wife has lost interest in sex. He punts. He keeps it secret because the truth would hurt her. If she is not keeping her husband happy in the bedroom then she is almost certainly going to know he probably shags elsewhere. As long as it’s not in her face then what’s the harm.

I’ve posted elsewhere about a couple I know. She knows her partner punts and she says nothing because she (and he) do not want to divorce. Punting is fine but if he sought an emotional attachment (an affair) with someone else then she would not be able to handle that and would want a split.

How about if the wife is disabled after an accident and unable to fulfill any sexual
Duties so to speak. Does the hubby lead a sexless life too. Or if he punts occasionally for his sexual release. Is that not ok.


It’s complex as I say.
But I certainly view this hobby a lot simpler than some.

[Stevelondon]

By the way miss wolf.    I think you mean hypocritical rather than hypothetical in your post 😂

[MissWolf]

By the way miss wolf.    I think you mean hypocritical rather than hypothetical in your post 😂

 

I do indeed,  note to self, check before posting.

And when I say saved more marriages than broke them I mean because as long as this hobby remains a secret then it is a relationship saver.

I had a chat with a client once a few years ago about this, he was by his own admission happily married,  he loved his wife,  he loved his kids and you could see he did in the way he spoke about them, they had been together since late teens, but although they had a sex life which was quite active he admitted he had things he wanted to try, urges he wanted to explore that he knew his wife wouldn't want to fulfil.
He asked if I thought he was a bastard for seeing escorts behind his wife's back because at times he felt like one, we discussed that and my answer was no, because if he wasn't seeing escorts he would be frustrated and that would lead to him being vulnerable to an affair and that was more likely to devastate his marriage.
We spoke about the fact he'd punted some absolute stunningly beautiful women of all ages and done some bucket list punts and he said he would probably walk away from punting soon as he'd done almost everything he wanted to, it was like he'd completed all the things he would have done in his 20s had he not already been with his wife, a year later covid hit and he never returned to punting, lovely guy.

[shed]

Who says he’s not 😂

 

[Spacecowb0y]

Some great replies and thank you.

I see others in a similar conundrum and do what I do, which is make the best of the situation.
Her health issues are coming more to the fore as we both get older, but our sex life has never been great. She was sexually active when we wanted a family and cares for me deeply (as i do for her), but the lack of regular sex has always been our contention point and has been discussed many times.

I will continue to punt and not get so hung up about the lack of marital sex.

[Chazz]

Does it really work on so many levels if your main fear of leaving is walking out on the affluent life and not the person?

Unless one of you leaves it will be a question of who dies first I guess, since that situation describes someone being trapped of their own volition.

I like your phrase, "trapped of their own volition". For me, it's a choice between idealism and pragmatism. The Idealist says, "My wife refuses to have sex, so I will leave her". Unfortunately, this entails losing half of his savings and pension and moving from a large house in an affluent area to a shitty bedsit on the wrong side of town. Any disposable income he once had is now spent on alimony and palimony.
The Pragmatist says, "My wife refuses to have sex, but is otherwise pleasant and caring towards me. I'll discreetly call on the services of a professional subcontractor". This entails using his disposable income to have sex with a variety of beautiful women, all of whom, being professionals, are much better at sex than his wife ever was. In the meantime he still lives in his nice house and gets his meals cooked for him and his shirts ironed. So his wife refuses to have sex - why the fuck would he care?

[JontyR]

I do wonder how many who assume that any post divorce future involves a grim domestic existence have actually looked at any of the online calculators to work out what it would actually cost?

***Caution - the cookies can lead to loads of incriminating ads for divorce lawyers on home browsers"***

[Colston36]

The subject is far more complex than a case of “ if your married, why cheat”

What is it about having sex with someone other than your wife makes it cheating.
Is it a moral debate we are having here ?

Is it a religious thing we are talking about here. Forsaking all others and all that crap.

As far as I’m concerned. I bet there are millions of happy marriages going on out there…… because the hubby is punting.

It’s just bloody sex.

I assume it is called cheating because unless she knows that's what it is. Not that I disapprove; I did it constantly during my last marriage. I think she knew. She may have too, and by God she got a rich reward in the divorce.

[Colston36]

This is one of my big fears when it comes to getting married. Assuming that there was once sexual chemistry between you both, where did it start to go wrong? Has the attraction faded on both sides?

From what I have seen, this usually happens when couples get too comfortable with being attached and no longer date each other. You have to stoke the coals of passion.

I believe there is a physical factor here: women's interest in sex gradually diminishes after the age of 30.

[Doc Holliday]

I believe there is a physical factor here: women's interest in sex gradually diminishes after the age of 30.

Physical factors are mostly related to the menopause which would be late 40's onward for most women. Up until then, other than ill health (and some medications) any factors causing loss of libido are psychological in nature. These can be numerous and complex.

[Doc Holliday]

This entails using his disposable income to have sex with a variety of beautiful women, all of whom, being professionals, are much better at sex than his wife ever was.

That's a very sweeping generalisation, which i would dispute. Of the many hundreds of SP's I paid to have sex with only a handful came close to sex with my wife.

[Stevelondon]

That's a very sweeping generalisation, which i would dispute. Of the many hundreds of SP's I paid to have sex with only a handful came close to sex with my wife.

Your wife should have got nearer then. 😂


Ok ok.  I’ll get me coat.

[MissWolf]

I believe there is a physical factor here: women's interest in sex gradually diminishes after the age of 30.

I think you will find that should be......some women's interest in sex diminishes after the age of 30.....or 40 or 50 or the menopause or when their hubby gets fat and lazy or when the wind blows from the North or when it rains on a Friday etc etc

The reasons and timing are as varied as humans themselves

Mine and many women's never diminished at all

[Payyourwaymate]

Well I shall disagree with you. As I said earlier it is more complex because of everyone’s different circumstances.

The married man whose wife has lost interest in sex. He punts. He keeps it secret because the truth would hurt her. If she is not keeping her husband happy in the bedroom then she is almost certainly going to know he probably shags elsewhere. As long as it’s not in her face then what’s the harm.

I’ve posted elsewhere about a couple I know. She knows her partner punts and she says nothing because she (and he) do not want to divorce. Punting is fine but if he sought an emotional attachment (an affair) with someone else then she would not be able to handle that and would want a split.

How about if the wife is disabled after an accident and unable to fulfill any sexual
Duties so to speak. Does the hubby lead a sexless life too. Or if he punts occasionally for his sexual release. Is that not ok.


It’s complex as I say.
But I certainly view this hobby a lot simpler than some.

I do understand your point and I can agree to an extent. However, my main disagreement was the reduction of your initial point of it's just sex along with Miss Wolfs agreement of punting keeps families together. This is not the case at all. Reverse the general circumstances that the wife is seeing other men, what's the harm? How many men's ego can take that and still be married happily? I also doubt there are many women that the husband can communicate "Hey love I'm just going out to see HotSasha for a quick one around 6pm, I'll be back into for dinner" and the woman is going to smile happily and wish him a good time  .

I think the main issue about the other party knowing as an elephant in the room but it not being transparently communicated is that the marriage is not being kept together out of the love they have for each other, but it is the fear of the mutally assured destruction of their lives in the aspect of losing the family home, finances being torn apart and familial separation of kids etc that is keeping them together.

The exceptional circumstance you mention of the disabled wife situation I can completely sympathise and agree with the man's actions. The more common circumstance of the man being married to a woman and their sex life has died leading to the man to punt is understandable and if I was in the same situation I would do the same, although I would bite the bullet and just get divorced to be honest despite what I would lose.

I just do not think that the impact of knowing the other party is having sex with someone else can be understated as a minor issue, mainly because of egos involved. Punting also benefits the man mainly, not the family in keeping the marriage together, the money spent punting could arguably be spent on the family instead. Infact, I think if punting was not available the man would be forced to confront the situation and make the marriage work or leave the marriage which short term and long term would cause irrevocable damage materially, but after some time the man would feel happy of not being trapped as a happy hostage. I do not know if this is important in my perspective of my points made, but I am not married or have any intention on doing so, this may be perhaps why I have the views I have stated.

[Payyourwaymate]

I like your phrase, "trapped of their own volition". For me, it's a choice between idealism and pragmatism. The Idealist says, "My wife refuses to have sex, so I will leave her". Unfortunately, this entails losing half of his savings and pension and moving from a large house in an affluent area to a shitty bedsit on the wrong side of town. Any disposable income he once had is now spent on alimony and palimony.
The Pragmatist says, "My wife refuses to have sex, but is otherwise pleasant and caring towards me. I'll discreetly call on the services of a professional subcontractor". This entails using his disposable income to have sex with a variety of beautiful women, all of whom, being professionals, are much better at sex than his wife ever was. In the meantime he still lives in his nice house and gets his meals cooked for him and his shirts ironed. So his wife refuses to have sex - why the fuck would he care?

I fully agree with your points. What about the emotions of the other party? Such as increasing resentment the wife would hold towards the man of knowing the elephant in the room that he is seeing sex workers. Women are not stupid, the wife will have a feeling or know but will probably not say anything or plot her depature from the marriage. What happens if she decides to investigate or initiates a divorce anyway, the worst outcome still occurs anyway? How do you make considerations for this? Do you just hope it does not come to that? Does it not feel like you are in a ticking timebomb situation?

[Momodan38]

Punters really need to learn to have the mindset of an SP. Loads of them have partners and children. Do they think about these things? Do they think about their clients private lives, i.e the wives and children?
 
Like I said earlier you can keep your home life and punting life in seperate alternate universes. Don’t over think things and try to pick things apart. It’s a contradictory existence but you can make it work.

What I’m saying is you can have your cake and eat it too.

Unless you can get your wife’s blessing and you can’t keep the two worlds seperate then think about giving one up.

[PumpDump]

I do indeed,  note to self, check before posting.

And when I say saved more marriages than broke them I mean because as long as this hobby remains a secret then it is a relationship saver.

I had a chat with a client once a few years ago about this, he was by his own admission happily married,  he loved his wife,  he loved his kids and you could see he did in the way he spoke about them, they had been together since late teens, but although they had a sex life which was quite active he admitted he had things he wanted to try, urges he wanted to explore that he knew his wife wouldn't want to fulfil.
He asked if I thought he was a bastard for seeing escorts behind his wife's back because at times he felt like one, we discussed that and my answer was no, because if he wasn't seeing escorts he would be frustrated and that would lead to him being vulnerable to an affair and that was more likely to devastate his marriage.
We spoke about the fact he'd punted some absolute stunningly beautiful women of all ages and done some bucket list punts and he said he would probably walk away from punting soon as he'd done almost everything he wanted to, it was like he'd completed all the things he would have done in his 20s had he not already been with his wife, a year later covid hit and he never returned to punting, lovely guy.

Would you feel the same if it was your husband? If you found out he was fucking other women, would you think he is a bastard?

[MissWolf]

Would you feel the same if it was your husband? If you found out he was fucking other women, would you think he is a bastard?

Been there done that and no,  I'd want a conversation to find out why though,  that way we can fix whatever is missing that makes him want to do that, agree that he continues with certain rules in place, or part company and go our separate ways.

We were growing apart and both looking for something else, I was the one driving the physical side of the marriage, he walked down the street looking at other women, I could never satisfy his desire for a size 6 to 8 skinny blond  thats what he finds attractive,  i could never get smaller than a size 10 even if I starved myself and ran marathons (which i did to try and please him but I was never skinny enough) we should never have got married tbh, we still talk to each other, him and his wonderful and lovely wife still call by for a cuppa.

Hes not a bastard It's the way he's made.

Those outside of marriages are over thinking this, it's just sex, I know punting keeps marriages together,  I've had many many a conversation with happily married men on the subject after sucking their cock and fucking the living daylight out of them.

I never said it saves them if the wife knows, this stops men having affairs, keep the two things entirely separate and all is well

(FYI When we divorced I let him site unfaithful in the divorce papers to get it through faster, as during the break-up I had met someone I wanted to explore a relationship with and I walked away with nothing other than the kids, the car and an empty bank account as he cleaned it out into his, we had no property at the time thankfully)

[oddson1970]

Absolutely this, sex work and punting keeps many more families and marriages together than it ever breaks apart

as long as the SS doesn't get caught

[MissWolf]

as long as the SS doesn't get caught

Exactly

[PumpDump]

Been there done that and no,  I'd want a conversation to find out why though,  that way we can fix whatever is missing that makes him want to do that, agree that he continues with certain rules in place, or part company and go our separate ways.

We were growing apart and both looking for something else, I was the one driving the physical side of the marriage, he walked down the street looking at other women, I could never satisfy his desire for a size 6 to 8 skinny blond  thats what he finds attractive,  i could never get smaller than a size 10 even if I starved myself and ran marathons (which i did to try and please him but I was never skinny enough) we should never have got married tbh, we still talk to each other, him and his wonderful and lovely wife still call by for a cuppa.

Hes not a bastard It's the way he's made.

Those outside of marriages are over thinking this, it's just sex, I know punting keeps marriages together,  I've had many many a conversation with happily married men on the subject after sucking their cock and fucking the living daylight out of them.

I never said it saves them if the wife knows, this stops men having affairs, keep the two things entirely separate and all is well

(FYI When we divorced I let him site unfaithful in the divorce papers to get it through faster, as during the break-up I had met someone I wanted to explore a relationship with and I walked away with nothing other than the kids, the car and an empty bank account as he cleaned it out into his, we had no property at the time thankfully)

Thanks for replying and being so open. It is very interesting. I think all men will look at young skinny pretty girls, and probably want to fuck them. It doesn't mean we still don't find our girlfriend/partner/wife attractive and love them also.

I agree with you that punting saves many marriages.

[MissWolf]

Thanks for replying and being so open. It is very interesting. I think all men will look at young skinny pretty girls, and probably want to fuck them. It doesn't mean we still don't find our girlfriend/partner/wife attractive and love them also.

I agree with you that punting saves many marriages.

You're welcome it's all about understanding each other for me and yes I agree many men window shop as do us ladies

My ex husbands favourite 2 sayings were....I love you but I just don't fancy you....when I was trying to get sexy with him 
And when we were going out....you look nice dear, if you lost a bit of weight you would look better   

To this day he swears he was just trying to motivate me to be a better person 

Bless him

[kingmg]

Better than a messy divorce and losing half your assets or access to kids. Keep shtum and punt on

[Watts.E.Dunn]

Course in France paris espcialy the practice of "Cinq à sept" goes on everyones happy;)..

[Stevelondon]

Thanks for replying and being so open. It is very interesting. I think all men will look at young skinny pretty girls, and probably want to fuck them. It doesn't mean we still don't find our girlfriend/partner/wife attractive and love them also.

I agree with you that punting saves many marriages.

Well said.

[Stevelondon]

Course in France paris espcialy the practice of "Cinq à sept" goes on everyones happy;)..

👍🏻