Feeling down

[RandomGuy99]

Standing up straight, being decisive, not doing what is called "simping", taking up space, not bitching about ex girlfriends and being sexual but not in an overt way.

And scratching your balls a lot. 

[Marmalade]

I think The Game is a great read, but a lot of it is incredibly out of date now. I think it's interesting how Strauss wrote The Dirt and effectively went on tour with Motley Crue and didn't have sex with a groupie, then he became a dating guru. The techniques like negging, peacocking and learning magic tricks are incredibly ineffective now and girls are wise to them. The mentality of being the prize is important though as is having a strong frame.

Absolutely. Ross Jeffries all the way. He seems to be the only one that based it on, and attributed, the psychology behind effective pick-up.

A lot of it is just getting rid of bad habits though.

[akauya]

Really good advice here for the OP, some of it will hopefully work.

I'm no longer in the "dating" scene (looking for a mistress is rather different) but I remember when I was young also having similar feelings when it came to attracting women. I seem to remember the only thing that worked for me in the end was to ditch all the bullshit and be myself. I reckoned why pretend to be someone I'm not which will only mean, if I get lucky with a woman, she will soon find out that I was a fraud and dump me anyway. Alternatively, if they like what they see: me as the real me, then so much the better.

I took an interest (genuinely) on what they had to say, what interests they had, etc. I ditched my mental goal of getting into her knickers and treated every "date" as if I was going out with a mate of mine, no ulterior motive. Just a friendly meet, if something happens, it happens; if not, fine. Lo and behold my "luck" changed and got "lucky" more often than not.

With the usual exceptions of course, most women are very good at sniffing out the bullshitters and pretenders. Also relationships are a give and take. If I had gone looking for my "ideal" woman I would still be looking for the one to this day. There is no ideal woman/man in the real world. We all come with imperfections and we have to make the most of it. As that cliche goes, it's the imperfections that makes us unique and interesting. If one is truly looking for a meaningful emotional relationship then we must be prepared to ditch the illusion that we will find that perfect/ideal woman in your head. Instead think of it that you will find a great mate, someone you love spending time with who also happens to be a woman and is also into you. Sex will come after that.

[Cheshuk]

I agree with all of this. I should have elaborated some girls have an ideal version of a man and some prefer dad bod or stocky. For example I don't think I could date a woman who was flat chested as it would feel like something is missing.

I also think a lot of videos and guides focus too much on satorial. It's important to be comfortable in your own clothes. If a man dressed like a biker I can't see the advantage of dressing up like he's going to a wedding. I think as long as the clothes fit, are clean and age appropriate you will automatically dress better than most men. I used to buy a lot of designer clothes and more often than not they just sat in the wardrobe

Cheers for clarifying, agree have your own style & not a generic ingenuine style, but having a style and clothes that fit well are often beneficial. True about the dad bod, in general someone in shape says subliminally this person takes care of themselves etc, again often beneficial to the package you offer (especially for op in his 30s) but not critical 

[Colston36]

I'm finding it hard to find someone like that.

I've lost count on how many dates I've been on. I went on a date with an Irish girl, and she sent me a message in the morning about how much she liked me, and then a couple of hours later, she was like I'm too busy to date, so we shouldnt talk, and I just don't get it. I dont know what I did wrong.

I wouldn't punt if I could get summin genuine, but I wouldn't be comfortable with hypothetical person shagging other blokes

I want to continue to punt, I just need to find the confidence.

I imagine the Irish lady had her own demons to deal with; never automayically assume it's you.

[alabama1]

Standing up straight, being decisive, not doing what is called "simping", taking up space, not bitching about ex girlfriends and being sexual but not in an overt way.

A woman could do all of the above 

[JontyR]

I imagine the Irish lady had her own demons to deal with; never automayically assume it's you.

Absolutely. That being said the self-reflection does you credit. Don't over think it though.

As you get older you realise that in the dating pool everyone comes with some kind of previous baggage. It's how everyone deals with it, that's the biggie.

[Ali Katt]

Absolutely. Ross Jeffries all the way. He seems to be the only one that based it on, and attributed, the psychology behind effective pick-up.

A lot of it is just getting rid of bad habits though.

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[Marmalade]

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Haha I’d not seen that before. Quite hard to demo in a crowd. The best bit was when the black woman kept repeating his name over and over in a sexy voice, consciously or unconsciously mimicking his tone.

I like his workshops where he gets a woman volunteer and starts talking to her and she suddenly notices he’s practicing a technique, a pattern, and he then says, “so is it working?” and she blushes and confesses yeah, it is a bit! He just gets a woman thinking about nice stuff, stuff she really likes, a sequence, then switches to a tone of voice and subliminal metaphor so she recalls having fun and associates it with him. (The whole pathway is called a pattern.)

He’s not thinking with his cock at any time, except maybe the first five seconds to see if she’s fuckable. The rest of the time is telling her crazy stuff that she enjoys, that makes her smile, until she eventually starts thinking about sex, or at least the fact that he’s fun to be with and she’d like to see him again. (Practice patterns on women you don’t want to fuck, just for the practice, so you can see when you’re doing them right.)

It’s not about “what she thinks of him” but about “what she’s feeling while she’s in his company”.  Not nice or not nice, just fun. When she’s loosened up he brings the voice down an octave. There was nothing sexual in saying his name to that girl, how could there be? But it sounded so sexy she wanted to say it several times.

And the good thing is that even if it doesn’t get him laid, it was fun. Sometimes you have to try several patterns, but also recognise if she’s not available for anyone and move on politely.

[PepeMAGA]

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And

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[Marmalade]

And

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I’m shocked. That Lois Theroux is such a slime bag. Amusing how Jeffries points out Theroux’s ‘vision of himself’ which was exactly what I was thinking. At least with Theroux you know it would unlikely to have been staged.

I don’t know if you can still find them online but there used to be quite a lot of his workshops there where he explains what he does step by step, all perfectly logical. The difference is that it feels like work at first. Instead of just ‘enjoying the meeting’ or ‘enjoying the date’ you’re focusing on getting the woman into a blissful state as he calls it. It’s fun trying to get it right, like solving a Wordle, but the important thing is getting a result.

I don’t know the specific patterns he used in the video, but the touch on the arm thing would would have been a subliminal anchor from the earlier part of the conversation. Brilliant how he sidelined Theroux as well in order to get her complete attention.

[grouper]

I’m shocked. That Lois Theroux is such a slime bag. Amusing how Jeffries points out Theroux’s ‘vision of himself’ which was exactly what I was thinking. At least with Theroux you know it would unlikely to have been staged.

I don’t know if you can still find them online but there used to be quite a lot of his workshops there where he explains what he does step by step, all perfectly logical. The difference is that it feels like work at first. Instead of just ‘enjoying the meeting’ or ‘enjoying the date’ you’re focusing on getting the woman into a blissful state as he calls it. It’s fun trying to get it right, like solving a Wordle, but the important thing is getting a result.

I don’t know the specific patterns he used in the video, but the touch on the arm thing would would have been a subliminal anchor from the earlier part of the conversation. Brilliant how he sidelined Theroux as well in order to get her complete attention.

I actually used to love his docs, but since the escorting one I went off him, I felt his lines of questioning were so loaded. It's like he thought all women do it because they're poor or addicts, and that all men must disrespect women and be complete saddos if they choose to see escorts. And I can say this I would pretty much say most of my friends have seen an escort, even if they have no problem meeting someone IRL.

[grouper]

With the Irish girl, I guess I had a great time, and i'd received a massive text of how much she liked me very early in the morning, but later on she just said I can't date. Which is fair enough as she said she didn't know where she'd be in a couple of months, and I guess maybe she meant it at face value.

Without revealing too much about myself I think my ethnicity is always going to be an issue, elephant in the room, the dating pool is going to be smaller for me, but I've been on dates with all sorts and I guess I think body language is probs my thing that keeps me back, and I need to sort that.

Any how I'm looking forward to tomorrow, and if it doesn't go well I've got a lady in mind. I've been reading through all the replies and they've been useful but hilarious, so thank you.