Feeling down

[grouper]

Just wanted to vent, and I'll probs get ripped for it.

I'm 34 never had a gf, only time im with someone is if I pay, and it gets a man down. It's become so much where after years and years of rejection, I don't even feel like I can even see an escort any more, like sex and perceived affection isn't for me, I'm not strange, I appear normal, wouldn't consider myself attractive but occasionally get complimented by random girls (even though i dont get it), I've been on plenty of dates, I have female friends, I'm considered the cheeky chappy, but I'm tired of making everyone else feel good.

I guess I'm sort of ok with being alone, as long as I don't have to interact with the outside world.

I dunno how to get my mojo back, I'm 34.

[bigden40]

External Link/Members Only

[daviemac]

5 pages of reading here - https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=281449.0 just about covers it all I think.

[RandomGuy99]

I don't think you need to worry about getting ripped. We all have our good and bad days.

It would be nice sometimes to have someone to come home to and have a conversation with and a cuddle of the sofa. It's not all about sex. It's just about sharing your life with someone, making decisions with, providing support to one another, encouraging each other to progress in your careers and possibly have children together although I'm not entirely sure that a child version of me would be great, which is why I've never pursued it. I've just never really bothered putting myself out there as I've never really felt that I'm attractive to the opposite sex, so I've chosen to avoid the complexities of relationship and rejection.

However, it's still good to be able to see an attractive woman on the internet and get to have sex with her a few hours later.  Some might view it as a bit sad, but they're the ones that can't separate the sexual act from emotions.  I'm never under the illusion that there's any affection  when I see an SP. It's a simple business transaction. The SP shows interest in me for the time I'm paying them then it's on to the next one for me and them. Sometimes if you see an SP over a longer period of time you get friendly with them but on a regular customer basis not in an emotional way.

I'm just not very good with people like reading them and sometimes I over do things as I think that's what they want and then it turns out I've over done it. I end up a bit confused. Now I make no efforts to get into a relationship. It's pretty easy to do when you work from home and don't randomly meet people as you're no longer out every day.

[thefilthyfucker]

I can see you usually do half hour punts but is it worth trying a 2 hour punt with a gfe girl rather than a prossie. You clearly have the confidence for punting so build on that. I've known known quite a few escorts who were perfectly normal women who I had sound advice from. One of the reasons I put is to build my confidence; slightly different situation to yourself, mind. Regarding rejection, look at it as a numbers game. How many meets have you done from dating sites? Maybe work out exactly what you want. Do you want to be in a couple, do you also want to continue to punt? How would you feel about her going with other blokes? This may guide you towards swinging rather than usual dating sites.

[RandomGuy99]

I think you need to separate girlfriend and affection from seeing SPs. You shouldn't expect to get affection from seeing SPs. You should expect a sexual release in return for a few. Girlfriend and affection is something entirely different.

You might want to get yourself out there on the dating scene. Some dates will be successful and others not. I guess it's a learning process both about yourself and the opposite sex.

[scutty brown]

Well...............given where you're based I googled "Birmingham Incel Club" for you, and the first hit was "Birmingham Kennel Club".

Maybe that's the answer - get yourself a fluffy dog. I've noticed in the past when I was looking after the babysitter's sheepdog that it acted like a fannymagnet with women stopping to talk (and pet the dog) who'd normally walk on by.
Fluffy dogs attract women!

[JontyR]

Just wanted to vent, and I'll probs get ripped for it.

I'm 34 never had a gf, only time im with someone is if I pay, and it gets a man down. It's become so much where after years and years of rejection, I don't even feel like I can even see an escort any more, like sex and perceived affection isn't for me, I'm not strange, I appear normal, wouldn't consider myself attractive but occasionally get complimented by random girls (even though i dont get it), I've been on plenty of dates, I have female friends, I'm considered the cheeky chappy, but I'm tired of making everyone else feel good.

I guess I'm sort of ok with being alone, as long as I don't have to interact with the outside world.

I dunno how to get my mojo back, I'm 34.

Step one, go to the doctors. See if there is anything physical / hormonal going on. There may be a simple fix.
Step two, find a hobby, join a club, start an exercise regime. Blow away the funk.
Step three, forget about women for now.
Step four, feel free to reach out as per the links in the thread Davie highlights.

[grouper]

I can see you usually do half hour punts but is it worth trying a 2 hour punt with a gfe girl rather than a prossie. You clearly have the confidence for punting so build on that. I've known known quite a few escorts who were perfectly normal women who I had sound advice from. One of the reasons I put is to build my confidence; slightly different situation to yourself, mind. Regarding rejection, look at it as a numbers game. How many meets have you done from dating sites? Maybe work out exactly what you want. Do you want to be in a couple, do you also want to continue to punt? How would you feel about her going with other blokes? This may guide you towards swinging rather than usual dating sites.

I'm finding it hard to find someone like that.

I've lost count on how many dates I've been on. I went on a date with an Irish girl, and she sent me a message in the morning about how much she liked me, and then a couple of hours later, she was like I'm too busy to date, so we shouldnt talk, and I just don't get it. I dont know what I did wrong.

I wouldn't punt if I could get summin genuine, but I wouldn't be comfortable with hypothetical person shagging other blokes

I want to continue to punt, I just need to find the confidence.

[grouper]

thanks for replying guys, just on a down one. But it means a lot u took the time to reply.

[grouper]

Well...............given where you're based I googled "Birmingham Incel Club" for you, and the first hit was "Birmingham Kennel Club".

Maybe that's the answer - get yourself a fluffy dog. I've noticed in the past when I was looking after the babysitter's sheepdog that it acted like a fannymagnet with women stopping to talk (and pet the dog) who'd normally walk on by.
Fluffy dogs attract women!

LOL, to clarify im not an andrew tate hateful indivdual.

I have a cat, and she does what she likes, she's a bit aggressive towards other people, shes a rescue.

[PepeMAGA]

If you're getting dates, but they aren't successful past that, I would try to look at what's happening there. Don't take it personally if you aren't having success, you may just need to tweak something a bit. Look at clothing, body language and have a few anecdotes ready to use. 34 is an ideal age for success, it gives you a wide range of dating options.
Also don't think confidence with prostitutes will translate to women in the real world, the cues you get from prostitutes generally will be false and might give you false confidence.
I would say it is harder to meet women now, particularly post COVID. But at the same time, women are generally saying they're sick of the online dating world so there is opportunity to capitalise on that.

[grouper]

If you're getting dates, but they aren't successful past that, I would try to look at what's happening there. Don't take it personally if you aren't having success, you may just need to tweak something a bit. Look at clothing, body language and have a few anecdotes ready to use. 34 is an ideal age for success, it gives you a wide range of dating options.
Also don't think confidence with prostitutes will translate to women in the real world, the cues you get from prostitutes generally will be false and might give you false confidence.
I would say it is harder to meet women now, particularly post COVID. But at the same time, women are generally saying they're sick of the online dating world so there is opportunity to capitalise on that.

True, I can't tell what I do wrong, im confident and I do think maybe its bad luck, or body language or just plain ugly.

I'm quite happy chatting up a girl, but I do it for my own amusement, just to show myself that I can do it, im just doing it for a confidence boost.

I don't feel like that about escorts, I take everything with a pinch of salt, I'm quite detached.

[PepeMAGA]

True, I can't tell what I do wrong, im confident and I do think maybe its bad luck, or body language or just plain ugly.

I'm quite happy chatting up a girl, but I do it for my own amusement, just to show myself that I can do it, im just doing it for a confidence boost.

I don't feel like that about escorts, I take everything with a pinch of salt, I'm quite detached.

Can't comment on your looks, but women worry less about that than us.

[RandomGuy99]

LOL, to clarify im not an andrew tate hateful indivdual.

I have a cat, and she does what she likes, she's a bit aggressive towards other people, shes a rescue.

Trip to a cat cafe to meet cat women.

[Cheshuk]

op (i'm no expert, but who is here) if I were you, i'd:
1. Get out my head
2. Hit the gym, if you're don't already
3. Maybe read The Game by Neil Strauss, I read it as a teenager (over a decade ago) from memory there's some useful stuff, not all the faking your personality/interactions pua stuff, but how to interact genuinely etc (maybe help you see whats going wrong, make changes)
4. You say yourself 'I wouldn't consider myself attractive', in which case keep going on dates, learn from each one/try to figure out what went wrong. Eventually you'll likely find someone who likes you for you.

Then keep punting if your not satisfied sexually

When I used to date a lot, what I found worked was just amusing myself and treating it like they're just there while i'm having fun. I don't know what you do, but i'd strongly advise don't make them feel like your getting a privilege to go out with them, acting unnatural/trying to impress and overly focusing on them.

I remember one date in particular, a faf 20 year old, still a fling i'm proud of to this day. After dinner/drinks, said the usual do you want to come back to mine & put a film on. Everyone knows that means sex, we were chatting in bed after.

I asked why she came back with me, and she said to me most guys she goes on dates with try and impress her its a turn off. I said 'well I didn't do that, I mean I was telling you about my new hoover over dinner, she smiles and goes 'yeh I love hoovers'.

Point is just be yourself, have fun (it's contagious) and you'll either click or not.

[Doc Holliday]

I was telling you about my new hoover over dinner, she smiles and goes 'yeh I love hoovers'.

Sounds like 'a keeper' 

[JontyR]

thanks for replying guys, just on a down one. But it means a lot u took the time to reply.

No worries bud. Hope you are living your best life soon. 

[sir wanksalot]

Just wanted to vent, and I'll probs get ripped for it.

I'm 34 never had a gf, only time im with someone is if I pay, and it gets a man down. It's become so much where after years and years of rejection, I don't even feel like I can even see an escort any more, like sex and perceived affection isn't for me, I'm not strange, I appear normal, wouldn't consider myself attractive but occasionally get complimented by random girls (even though i dont get it), I've been on plenty of dates, I have female friends, I'm considered the cheeky chappy, but I'm tired of making everyone else feel good.

I guess I'm sort of ok with being alone, as long as I don't have to interact with the outside world.

I dunno how to get my mojo back, I'm 34.

My friend, don't fall into the trap of thinking everybody else has got their shit together............they haven't.

[chrishornx]

My friend, don't fall into the trap of thinking everybody else has got their shit together............they haven't.

very good advice

[Cheshuk]

Sounds like 'a keeper' 

probably sad really how many keepers i've not kept

[Dark Vader]

I've lost count on how many dates I've been on. I went on a date with an Irish girl, and she sent me a message in the morning about how much she liked me, and then a couple of hours later, she was like I'm too busy to date, so we shouldnt talk, and I just don't get it. I dont know what I did wrong.

About sums up the dating scene right now. Trash! Maybe a change of environment might help. Nice holiday, like Rio, Brazil or Thailand. Too far then check out the overseas section on here for somewhere closer. As always anywhere you go do your research and stay safe.

[Lou2019]

very good advice

It really is, I had a similar conversation with my son recently. Don’t worry about what everyone is doing or not doing, just concentrate on yourself.

[RandomGuy99]

It really is, I had a similar conversation with my son recently. Don’t worry about what everyone is doing or not doing, just concentrate on yourself.

+1

[simon07]

Make sure with your GP about anxiety/depression/suicide ideology in case you are creeping into that zone.
Everything looks darker with mental health glasses on.

[Lou2019]

Make sure with your GP about anxiety/depression/suicide ideology in case you are creeping into that zone.
Everything looks darker with mental health glasses on.

And this time of year can be difficult for many people

[Watts.E.Dunn]

Indeed Lou its called Seasonal Affective Disorder or SAD! Mainly due to the lack of Sunlight at this time of year sometimes helped by exposure to the right sort of light source. I know a girl who did take her own life mainly due to this syndrome, she never wanted to see a doctor or seek help poor soul...

[Lou2019]

Indeed Lou its called Seasonal Affective Disorder or SAD! Mainly due to the lack of Sunlight at this time of year sometimes helped by exposure to the right sort of light source. I know a girl who did take her own life mainly due to this syndrome, she never wanted to see a doctor or seek help poor soul...

I know of people who have found the light boxes a great help. Aswell as SAD it’s the pressures, expectations etc of the holiday season it’s just too much for some sadly

[Marmalade]

Never too late to learn. 30s is a great age for dating women. Maybe we could post some tips on the dating sites thread (those of us who have had lots of dates in their lives.

Punting and dating are very different experiences.

[MLawro93]

It's completely understandable to feel down at times, especially during certain times of the year. If these feelings have been persistent, it's a good idea to talk about them with a healthcare professional, such as your GP.

Here's something important to remember: nobody really has everything figured out. We're all just navigating life as best as we can, taking it one day at a time. The key is to keep moving forward, even if it's just small steps.

When it comes to dating, friendships, and meeting new people, it's all about the effort you invest. While you may encounter some toxic or selfish individuals, it's important to recognise and distance yourself from such negativity. Continuously putting yourself out there and engaging with others is crucial.

Most importantly, focus on self-love. Finding happiness and fulfilment often starts with accepting and loving yourself. Embrace who you are, and remember that true happiness comes from within. Keep striving to be the best version of yourself, and things will start falling into place. Keep your head up! 

[sir wanksalot]

My friend, don't fall into the trap of thinking everybody else has got their shit together............they haven't.

My writing habits on UKPunting tend to be quite glib as I don't have the time or energy into crafting a far more articulate response but I feel you deserve more respect, Grouper,  then I normally give to my replies on here (no offence to anybody else).

As some others have chipped in. Focus on your own lane. NOT what others around you are doing.We walk around our existence believing that others are thinking about us but the reality is that everybody else is wound up in their own drama and they don't even notice what you're doing (or not doing). Let that liberate you from any negative feelings.

You say you're 34 as if you're already knocking at death's door. You are still young.

All the times you say you've been rejected you can either store them inside you to wallow in and make you feel shit or use them as learning experiences. Was it Thomas Edison who said he didn't fail 1000 times in attempting to create the lightbulb, more that the lightbulb was an invention with 1000 steps?

Every rejection is another step closer to being successful. The only caveat being to try and learn from your rejections.

Punting is almost like a narcotic. It feels fucking great in the beginning when you start doing it but the longer you do it the shitter it starts to make you feel. The highs don't make up for the lows after a while.

You've also got to be brave. Women will not come knocking on your front door. You've got to make it happen and I am not necessarily suggesting dating sites as I suspect they're not particularly effective as helping find a soul mate. 

Whatever you enjoy doing in your spare time then try to find a way of doing that with other people especially ones where you feel women might be part of the group too.

 

[contentguy]

Just to +1 on chesuk’s suggestion to read The Game by Neil Strauss.

Whilst I don’t condone some of the tactics suggested in the book, it gives some interesting insights into dating psyche.

[grouper]

I cant reply to everybody but thanks to all of you guys who did, I know the forum can be rough around the edges but there's good people here.

Its something I'm too embarrassed about to talk to friends or cousins in real life, but I'll take your guys advice on board.

And do you know what, I downloaded bumble again, and I've got 3 matches, it might not go well, but I can't cry all day in bed about it. And if it does, Ill see an escort and leave a review for you guys

[RandomGuy99]

I cant reply to everybody but thanks to all of you guys who did, I know the forum can be rough around the edges but there's good people here.

Its something I'm too embarrassed about to talk to friends or cousins in real life, but I'll take your guys advice on board.

And do you know what, I downloaded bumble again, and I've got 3 matches, it might not go well, but I can't cry all day in bed about it. And if it does, Ill see an escort and leave a review for you guys

[Xtro]

......... I was telling you about my new hoover over dinner, she smiles and goes 'yeh I love hoovers'.

Dam(n)!   I love hoovers too.   

[Blackpool Rock]

I know of people who have found the light boxes a great help. Aswell as SAD it’s the pressures, expectations etc of the holiday season it’s just too much for some sadly

I used to get SAD every year around this time either in Oct or Nov, I could be feeling great and then it was like a switch had been flicked and i'd feel really down, it was normally triggered by something which could be really inconsequential but would then last until Spring time or I even remember around June one year.
Realistically I know I had some issues with depression however what i would say is that i've never had it since I started going to the gym and doing regular exercise over 20 years ago, IMO exercise is the best medicine you can get, I also eat a shit load of fresh fruit 

[Blackpool Rock]

Dam(n)!   I love hoovers too.   

Strange to find so many Hoover fans on here, I was under the impression that most people think they suck 

Ok where's my coat 

[scutty brown]

Well.......that joke fell into a vacuum.

[Mr Sinister]

Just wanted to vent, and I'll probs get ripped for it.

I'm 34 never had a gf, only time im with someone is if I pay, and it gets a man down. It's become so much where after years and years of rejection, I don't even feel like I can even see an escort any more, like sex and perceived affection isn't for me, I'm not strange, I appear normal, wouldn't consider myself attractive but occasionally get complimented by random girls (even though i dont get it), I've been on plenty of dates, I have female friends, I'm considered the cheeky chappy, but I'm tired of making everyone else feel good.

I guess I'm sort of ok with being alone, as long as I don't have to interact with the outside world.

I dunno how to get my mojo back, I'm 34.

There's some great suggestions in this thread already, I'd give punting a knock on the head for a bit just take a break. You have female mates so ask them their opinion on how they perceive you as a dating partner/relationship material.

Like said if you're getting loads of dates but they're not going anywhere then there's something not right in your interactions on these dates, find out what that is.

Pick up a hobby, especially an active one, hit the gym, do a sport, read, learn a new skill, chase a new promotion if you're not already doing these things then women pick up on it, like it's all well and good being a cheeky chappy but if there's nothing there with substance beyond that, why should someone get into a relationship with you?

[Cheshuk]

I cant reply to everybody but thanks to all of you guys who did, I know the forum can be rough around the edges but there's good people here.

Its something I'm too embarrassed about to talk to friends or cousins in real life, but I'll take your guys advice on board.

And do you know what, I downloaded bumble again, and I've got 3 matches, it might not go well, but I can't cry all day in bed about it. And if it does, Ill see an escort and leave a review for you guys

 

[JontyR]

I used to get SAD every year around this time either in Oct or Nov, I could be feeling great and then it was like a switch had been flicked and i'd feel really down, it was normally triggered by something which could be really inconsequential but would then last until Spring time or I even remember around June one year.
Realistically I know I had some issues with depression however what i would say is that i've never had it since I started going to the gym and doing regular exercise over 20 years ago, IMO exercise is the best medicine you can get, I also eat a shit

Also make sure that internet posts load fully before following the advice contained therein.

[Cheshuk]

Also make sure that internet posts load fully before following the advice contained therein.

not sure if you posted on the wrong thread but you also missed 'load of fresh fruit' on quote

so we get the advice

IMO exercise is the best medicine you can get, I also eat a shit  

[Ali Katt]

Just to +1 on chesuk’s suggestion to read The Game by Neil Strauss.

Whilst I don’t condone some of the tactics suggested in the book, it gives some interesting insights into dating psyche.

I think The Game is a great read, but a lot of it is incredibly out of date now. I think it's interesting how Strauss wrote The Dirt and effectively went on tour with Motley Crue and didn't have sex with a groupie, then he became a dating guru. The techniques like negging, peacocking and learning magic tricks are incredibly ineffective now and girls are wise to them. The mentality of being the prize is important though as is having a strong frame.

[Ali Katt]

Some really good advice on this thread, I would also add don't care too much about what women think. I also think there is a lot of bad advice on the internet on dating guides, it really doesn't matter how you dress or what aftershave you wear. It also doesn't matter if you are gym fit, unless you want to attract gym girls. The main thing is being masculine, fun and a good listener. I've also found that dating is a bit like playing darts blindfolded; you can hit a bullseye and often I'm not sure how I do it, but ultimately you get an instinct for what works for you.

[Cheshuk]

I think The Game is a great read, but a lot of it is incredibly out of date now. I think it's interesting how Strauss wrote The Dirt and effectively went on tour with Motley Crue and didn't have sex with a groupie, then he became a dating guru. The techniques like negging, peacocking and learning magic tricks are incredibly ineffective now and girls are wise to them. The mentality of being the prize is important though as is having a strong frame.

remember my sister telling me once, some guy tried to neg her in a club, she said to him 'did you just try to neg me', apparently he was like 'what yeh, how did you know'.. she says 'I have a brother'.. so agree it's known when blatant.

Peacocking and negging (more teasing) are timeless and come naturally to many.. so once it's natural still work. There are guys out there that think the way to date, is to fall to her every whim and put on a fake overly nice personality, theres stuff in there that's a revelation to certain types. It's been a while since I read it, but for someone struggling dating I can't see how reading it with healthy scepticism can hurt (as above pick and choose what might work). Granted its been a fair while since I looked at it, so may have rose tinted glasses

Didn't know he wrote The Dirt, on of my favourite films

it really doesn't matter how you dress or what aftershave you wear. It also doesn't matter if you are gym fit, unless you want to attract gym girls. The main thing is being masculine, fun and a good listener. I've also found that dating is a bit like playing darts blindfolded; you can hit a bullseye and often I'm not sure how I do it, but ultimately you get an instinct for what works for you.

Don't want to nitpick on your choice of words, but think having good style and being in shape are definitely beneficial, not essential.. but 'doesn't matter' means to me 'adds nothing'.. certainly girls aren't all the same, but in general those aren't useless things to have on your side when dating imo

[alabama1]

Some really good advice on this thread, I would also add don't care too much about what women think. I also think there is a lot of bad advice on the internet on dating guides, it really doesn't matter how you dress or what aftershave you wear. It also doesn't matter if you are gym fit, unless you want to attract gym girls. The main thing is being masculine, fun and a good listener. I've also found that dating is a bit like playing darts blindfolded; you can hit a bullseye and often I'm not sure how I do it, but ultimately you get an instinct for what works for you.

I get being fun and a good listener, but how do you be masculine ?

[grouper]

remember my sister telling me once, some guy tried to neg her in a club, she said to him 'did you just try to neg me', apparently he was like 'what yeh, how did you know'.. she says 'I have a brother'.. so agree it's known when blatant.

Peacocking and negging (more teasing) are timeless and come naturally to many.. so once it's natural still work. There are guys out there that think the way to date, is to fall to her every whim and put on a fake overly nice personality, theres stuff in there that's a revelation to certain types. It's been a while since I read it, but for someone struggling dating I can't see how reading it with healthy scepticism can hurt (as above pick and choose what might work). Granted its been a fair while since I looked at it, so may have rose tinted glasses

Didn't know he wrote The Dirt, on of my favourite films

Don't want to nitpick on your choice of words, but think having good style and being in shape are definitely beneficial, not essential.. but 'doesn't matter' means to me 'adds nothing'.. certainly girls aren't all the same, but in general those aren't useless things to have on your side when dating imo

 A couple of people have said to read that book, but in all honesty I'm an idealist and the idea of slightly making someone feel unconfident or picking on weaknesses doesn't sit right with me. And I really don't want to be with someone like that if I have to do that.

I'm in shape, but I can't do it anymore, I've got ongoing injuries and I can no longer box, I'm pretty much a flyweight so I am tiny. I just can't do it anymore cuz of injuries and people at that weight are so quick and i cant keep up.

I do however have a date with a lass on Thursday, and so I hope it goes well, I've got be confident.

[Cheshuk]

A couple of people have said to read that book, but in all honesty I'm an idealist and the idea of slightly making someone feel unconfident or picking on weaknesses doesn't sit right with me. And I really don't want to be with someone like that if I have to do that.

I'm in shape, but I can't do it anymore, I've got ongoing injuries and I can no longer box, I'm pretty much a flyweight so I am tiny. I just can't do it anymore cuz of injuries and people at that weight are so quick and i cant keep up.

I do however have a date with a lass on Thursday, and so I hope it goes well, I've got be confident.

as discussed there is a mix of stuff in there.. some along those lines, but also useful tidbits. Anyway not for you, no worries. I don't know your circumstances, so just said what I'd do generally if in your shoes

Anyway man seems you're in a better mindset than when you started the thread, don't overthink it, enjoy the ride.. if it doesn't work out, sure one will eventually. Good luck dude

[Ali Katt]

remember my sister telling me once, some guy tried to neg her in a club, she said to him 'did you just try to neg me', apparently he was like 'what yeh, how did you know'.. she says 'I have a brother'.. so agree it's known when blatant.

Peacocking and negging (more teasing) are timeless and come naturally to many.. so once it's natural still work. There are guys out there that think the way to date, is to fall to her every whim and put on a fake overly nice personality, theres stuff in there that's a revelation to certain types. It's been a while since I read it, but for someone struggling dating I can't see how reading it with healthy scepticism can hurt (as above pick and choose what might work). Granted its been a fair while since I looked at it, so may have rose tinted glasses

Didn't know he wrote The Dirt, on of my favourite films

Don't want to nitpick on your choice of words, but think having good style and being in shape are definitely beneficial, not essential.. but 'doesn't matter' means to me 'adds nothing'.. certainly girls aren't all the same, but in general those aren't useless things to have on your side when dating imo

I agree with all of this. I should have elaborated some girls have an ideal version of a man and some prefer dad bod or stocky. For example I don't think I could date a woman who was flat chested as it would feel like something is missing.

I also think a lot of videos and guides focus too much on satorial. It's important to be comfortable in your own clothes. If a man dressed like a biker I can't see the advantage of dressing up like he's going to a wedding. I think as long as the clothes fit, are clean and age appropriate you will automatically dress better than most men. I used to buy a lot of designer clothes and more often than not they just sat in the wardrobe

[Ali Katt]

I get being fun and a good listener, but how do you be masculine ?

Standing up straight, being decisive, not doing what is called "simping", taking up space, not bitching about ex girlfriends and being sexual but not in an overt way.