Does monogamy go against men's nature?

[gurds]

Is an interesting topic. Personally I believe that men are biologically designed to sleep with lots of women.

This technically goes against monogamy where you stay with one person for many yrs.

On one hand you have to admire the self control and selflessness that some married men have to stay faithful to their wives for many yrs.

Not every man is capable of this, the fact that the majority of the customers of escorts are married men shows the nature that men have to sleep with loads of women.

[lewisjones23]

Is an interesting topic. Personally I believe that men are biologically designed to sleep with lots of women.

This technically goes against monogamy where you stay with one person for many yrs.

On one hand you have to admire the self control and selflessness that some married men have to stay faithful to their wives for many yrs.

Not every man is capable of this, the fact that the majority of the customers of escorts are married men shows the nature that men have to sleep with loads of women.

Link to the findings that show the facts please?

What percentage are we talking about?

[RandomGuy99]

I don't know if it's true that the majority of SP customers are married men.

Men are programmed to reproduce, so yes it's probably true that we are on the lookout for a shag.

However, there's more to it than shagging. I think men can be quite lazy and we like to be cared for, so after having a couple of kids some men lose interest in shagging. Men will always have a eye for an attractive woman to admire, but that doesn't mean we're going to chase them for a shag.

[monkmarvey]

Is an interesting topic. Personally I believe that men are biologically designed to sleep with lots of women.

This technically goes against monogamy where you stay with one person for many yrs.

On one hand you have to admire the self control and selflessness that some married men have to stay faithful to their wives for many yrs.

Not every man is capable of this, the fact that the majority of the customers of escorts are married men shows the nature that men have to sleep with loads of women.

Monogamy is a myth created by religion.
Women need to fuck all the different men in their tribe to ensure their offspring have the best attributes - strongest, fastest, smartest, best hunter etc

[MissWolf]

I don't know if it's true that the majority of SP customers are married men.

Men are programmed to reproduce, so yes it's probably true that we are on the lookout for a shag.

However, there's more to it than shagging. I think men can be quite lazy and we like to be cared for, so after having a couple of kids some men lose interest in shagging. Men will always have a eye for an attractive woman to admire, but that doesn't mean we're going to chase them for a shag.

As an SP I can safely say I don't know, because I don't pry into my clients personal circumstances, so to state that the majority of customers are married as if it was fact as the Op has done is pointless

I'm sure some are married
I'm sure some are in a LTR
I'm sure some are single
I'm sure some are widowed
And I'm also sure a lot of them would lie if I bothered to ask so a survey of my clients would be absolutely useless as would any survey by any other WG

[RandomGuy99]

As an SP I can safely say I don't know, because I don't pry into my clients personal circumstances, so to state that the majority of customers are married as if it was fact as the Op has done is pointless

I'm sure some are married
I'm sure some are in a LTR
I'm sure some are single
I'm sure some are widowed
And I'm also sure a lot of them would lie if I bothered to ask so a survey of my clients would be absolutely useless as would any survey by any other WG

I think you're absolutely correct.

I've had a few ask me if I'm single and some check for wedding ring marks.

I think women are different in that they don't have such a drive to procreate. If they have children I guess they're programmed to nurture their children to ensure their survival reach adulthood.  They still have an eye for an attractive person though be it male or female as per their sexual orientation.

[Dipper]

I think the answer is yes. The biggest thing for me is variety, it’s a bit of a crude example but imagine your favourite meal. You can’t get enough for the first few times. But you’d not want it every single mealtime.

I suspect that even men with stunning, highly sexed and regularly willing partners still punt for the variety factor.

[sir wanksalot]

I think the answer is yes. The biggest thing for me is variety, it’s a bit of a crude example but imagine your favourite meal. You can’t get enough for the first few times. But you’d not want it every single mealtime.

I suspect that even men with stunning, highly sexed and regularly willing partners still punt for the variety factor.

Hmm that's quite an alarming point you are making me consider now!

If we were lucky enough to have a fit as f*ck wife then are you saying eventually we'd get a little tired of banging her?

[Dipper]

Hmm that's quite an alarming point you are making me consider now!

If we were lucky enough to have a fit as f*ck wife then are you saying eventually we'd get a little tired of banging her?

Exactly that. Just my opinion though, and I suppose there could still be many happy years of monogamous banging beforehand. 

[RandomGuy99]

Exactly that. Just my opinion though, and I suppose there could still be many happy years of monogamous banging beforehand. 

That can't be right though as research shows that British people have an average of 4 sexual partners External Link/Members Only

Unless they're lying.

Those in the punting world must be making up for everyone else.

[gurds]

Some men just can't get enough, unless you are in a relationship with a woman that looks incredible a lot of men will likely cheat at some point.

I am like that, but not all men are the same.

[alabama1]

I think you're absolutely correct.

I've had a few ask me if I'm single and some check for wedding ring marks.

I think women are different in that they don't have such a drive to procreate. If they have children I guess they're programmed to nurture their children to ensure their survival reach adulthood.  They still have an eye for an attractive person though be it male or female as per their sexual orientation.

Why the fuck would they do that ? They don't give a flying fuck if you are married or not. Do you think they would refuse the booking if you told a fib ? 

[RandomGuy99]

Why the fuck would they do that ? They don't give a flying fuck if you are married or not. Do you think they would refuse the booking if you told a fib ? 

No, they wouldn't refuse a booking.

Possibly I'm a little more observant that you are. 

Some of the SPs I've seen have asked. You'll have to ask them why. 

[alabama1]

No, they wouldn't refuse a booking.

Possibly I'm a little more observant that you are. 

Some of the SPs I've seen have asked. You'll have to ask them why. 

Give me their names

[alabama1]

No, they wouldn't refuse a booking.

Possibly I'm a little more observant that you are. 

Some of the SPs I've seen have asked. You'll have to ask them why. 

Yeah right 

[hairdownthere]

Some men just can't get enough, unless you are in a relationship with a woman that looks incredible a lot of men will likely cheat at some point.

I am like that, but not all men are the same.

You've stated in another thread that you've never been in a relationship, so that might explain the above. 

Being in a relationship isn't all about looks.  In my personal experience, the 'hotter' a woman is, the more of an unpleasant person she is.  Attractiveness isn't just physical, in fact I'd put that as one of the least important aspects on how appealing someone is.  Personality is the most important aspect.

[alabama1]

You've stated in another thread that you've never been in a relationship, so that might explain the above. 

Being in a relationship isn't all about looks.  In my personal experience, the 'hotter' a woman is, the more of an unpleasant person she is.  Attractiveness isn't just physical, in fact I'd put that as one of the least important aspects on how appealing someone is.  Personality is the most important aspect.

I disagree. I would never date an ugly fatty, with a great personality. Out of interest, what else would you put above physical looks ?

[Lou2019]

Attractiveness isn't just physical, in fact I'd put that as one of the least important aspects on how appealing someone is.  Personality is the most important aspect.

 

[RandomGuy99]

Yeah right 

Personally I think they ask because I'm unbelievably crap at sex and I'm quiet. I don't take it as a compliment or an expression of interest. I take it as confirmation that I'm not attractive to the opposite sex, which is why I see SPs.

[hairdownthere]

I disagree. I would never date an ugly fatty, with a great personality. Out of interest, what else would you put above physical looks ?

Any ugly fatties I've encountered have also had terrible personalities.  I find all self obsessed, pumped lips, fake breasts, tattoos all over the place as extremely unattractive, again folk I've met like that don't have the best personalities, they seem to be crying out for attention, which is very unattractive.

Above looks I'd put ability to have a conversation, showing interest in what I say or do, being able to leave their phone alone for 5 feckin minutes and not live their lives on social media, ability to get on with my friends etc etc. 

[Bat]

Personally, as someone who's never been in a relationship, I believe that punters are financially designed to sleep with as many women as they can afford.

Fixed it for you. . .

[Bat]

Attractiveness isn't just physical

Exactly this. There are so many elements of 'attraction'. I'd think that mostly, short-term, and exclusively sexual relationships, require the most physical attractiveness. Hence why so many punters are looking for the physical attraction ahead of all else. And, of course, what one person might find physically attractive could be repellent for another

Personally I'm interested in so much more from an SP if I'm looking to find someone I might want to see again and again.

[alabama1]

Exactly this. There are so many elements of 'attraction'. I'd think that mostly, short-term, and exclusively sexual relationships, require the most physical attractiveness. Hence why so many punters are looking for the physical attraction ahead of all else. And, of course, what one person might find physically attractive could be repellent for another

Personally I'm interested in so much more from an SP if I'm looking to find someone I might want to see again and again.

Yes, i agree, it's not the only thing i look for, but surely it all starts from finding her physically attractive in the first place 

[Bat]

Yes, i agree, it's not the only thing i look for, but surely it all starts from finding her physically attractive in the first place 

I guess so, but in my case I’m attracted physically to lots of different physical things. At one extreme there’s Thai girl who’s quite tiny that I’m really attracted to whilst, conversely, top of my current HL is a woman who markets herself as BBW. And then there’s a plethora of women in between of varying ages, races, nationalities, shapes and sizes.

Maybe I simply find almost all women attractive in one way or another 

[Thephoenix]

I think for many men, one of the main reasons they'll find a woman attractive, is if the women simply shows interest in them.

We're often just turned on by the attention and easily lured.

I think there's so many shapes and sizes, ages, colours etc, it's variety that appeals to me.
However, I do have a penchant for slightly protruding teeth.

[Doc Holliday]

However, I do have a penchant for slightly protruding teeth.

F**kin weirdo.

It's called JS-P syndrome

[mikecee]

I think for many men, one of the main reasons they'll find a woman attractive, is if the women simply shows interest in them.

We're often just turned on by the attention and easily lured.

I think there's so many shapes and sizes, ages, colours etc, it's variety that appeals to me.
However, I do have a penchant for slightly protruding teeth.

You must've been devastated when Cilla died 

[Blackpool Rock]

F**kin weirdo.

It's called JS-P syndrome

Seems like there is a fetish for basically anything 
Some of them make sense but others like this one are just Goofy IMO   

[Blackpool Rock]

You must've been devastated when Cilla died 

Yeah but he couldn't tell anyone so had to bite his lip 

[Thephoenix]

F**kin weirdo.

It's called JS-P syndrome

Well that made for interesting reading.
Maybe it should be moved to the 'what I've learned today' thread.

Out of interest, what is it, if as well as protruding teeth, one has a penchant for cross eyed women.......or to use the vernacular...gozzy birds?

[Doc Holliday]

It's called JS-P syndrome

Apologies guys I should have included an emoji.

JS-P as in ....



Hidden Image/Members Only

[8MillionDollarMan]

Why the fuck would they do that ? They don't give a flying fuck if you are married or not. Do you think they would refuse the booking if you told a fib ? 

Some definately have a sideways look seen it many times and a couple have asked outright.

[Colston36]

Monogamy is a myth created by religion.
Women need to fuck all the different men in their tribe to ensure their offspring have the best attributes - strongest, fastest, smartest, best hunter etc

This makes no sense whatsoever. They can't have babies with all these males.

[Colston36]

You've stated in another thread that you've never been in a relationship, so that might explain the above. 

Being in a relationship isn't all about looks.  In my personal experience, the 'hotter' a woman is, the more of an unpleasant person she is.  Attractiveness isn't just physical, in fact I'd put that as one of the least important aspects on how appealing someone is.  Personality is the most important aspect.

This "The 'hotter' a woman is, the more of an unpleasant person she is."  is utter bilge.

[8MillionDollarMan]

This "The 'hotter' a woman is, the more of an unpleasant person she is."  is utter bilge.

  yes weird statement that.

[alabama1]

This "The 'hotter' a woman is, the more of an unpleasant person she is."  is utter bilge.

He's talking bollocks !

[Thephoenix]

Apologies guys I should have included an emoji.

JS-P as in ....



Hidden Image/Members Only

Don't apologise Doc!

A few of us are are now full bottles on Jacobsen Syndrome.

We understand that it's an MCA/MR contiguous gene syndrome caused by partial deletion of the long arm of chromosome 11.

Far more interesting than Ms S-P.
.......But those teeth.

[Blackpool Rock]

Don't apologise Doc!

A few of us are are now full bottles on Jacobsen Syndrome.

We understand that it's an MCA/MR contiguous gene syndrome caused by partial deletion of the long arm of chromosome 11.

Far more interesting than Ms S-P.
.......But those teeth.

Phoenix are you a Druid and use her teeth as a place of worship   

[Thephoenix]

Phoenix are you a Druid and use her teeth as a place of worship   

I think I might be an odontophiliac. 

[hairdownthere]

This "The 'hotter' a woman is, the more of an unpleasant person she is."  is utter bilge.

Just going on my own experiences, and I know I'm not alone.  I find these superficial women, especially those with fake everything, are so up themselves that their attitude is horrendous, so I avoid them.

[alabama1]

Just going on my own experiences, and I know I'm not alone.  I find these superficial women, especially those with fake everything, are so up themselves that their attitude is horrendous, so I avoid them.

You can also get fake and superficial fatties 

[lewisjones23]

You can also get fake and superficial fatties 

agreed but they are less common as they don't have looks to fall back on / blind people with

[Colston36]

I don't know if it's true that the majority of SP customers are married men.

Men are programmed to reproduce, so yes it's probably true that we are on the lookout for a shag.

However, there's more to it than shagging. I think men can be quite lazy and we like to be cared for, so after having a couple of kids some men lose interest in shagging. Men will always have a eye for an attractive woman to admire, but that doesn't mean we're going to chase them for a shag.

"Men are programmed to reproduce". What an amazing scientific breakthrough. So are women. And centipedes. And every living thing.   

[Blackpool Rock]

Just going on my own experiences, and I know I'm not alone.  I find these superficial women, especially those with fake everything, are so up themselves that their attitude is horrendous, so I avoid them.

As always it's a mix of Nature / Nurture however I know what you mean when you encounter a pretty woman who is basically ugly on the inside and has got away with it as people constantly pander to them due to their looks.
IMO it provides them with a sense of justification about their actions every time and only serves to reinforce their behaviour and attitudes.

Even as a teenager I remember girls who were fucking horrible to deal with and thinking you can get away with it now but when you are older and have lost your looks all that remains is a horrid person whereas the plainer girl who was genuinely "Nice" would still be great to be around.

Of course the above also applies to Men

[Cheshuk]

Just going on my own experiences, and I know I'm not alone.  I find these superficial women, especially those with fake everything, are so up themselves that their attitude is horrendous, so I avoid them.

Right or wrong it's not uncommon for people to act up themselves with people they don't find attractive or think they're better than, whether that be attractiveness, social status, financially etc.

Often if a hot girl is acting that way with a guy, imo it's because she doesn't respect him or find him attractive, guys do this too. Its not hard to imagine a guy acting this way if approached by an ugly fat chick, assuming that's not his league

I've encountered this especially with under 21 girls from seeking, they're complete sweethearts to me because i'm her sd and she knows moneys on the line and she's replaceable if she's not showing her good side. However some tell me stories about them out socially, and one girl was like I was at a party and a boy her own age approached her and her friend, and she grabbed her friend turned away and said in his face 'don't talk to him'. My current sb was telling me when a guy talks to her who isn't rich or attractive she thinks 'you are not worthy to be in my presence'. I just put it down to immaturity, at an age where social value is all about looks.

It's just the same as there being nice people with looks, money etc. Point being, its not a female looks thing, imo it's a male and female trait that rears its head among people deemed less than.

If we were lucky enough to have a fit as f*ck wife then are you saying eventually we'd get a little tired of banging her?

As the saying goes 'for every hot girl out there, there's a guy who's tired of banging her' (source unknown, maybe a movie lol)

100% true for me. I don't do relationships but i'm rarely single either whether that be dating or an arrangement. Over the years I've had the pleasure of dating so many stunning girls, so many times I've thought I'll never get a hotter girl than her, then one comes along. However the same thing happens every time, after a month or so im bored of her.

May not be true for all guys, but 1000% would be for me

[Cheshuk]

Is an interesting topic. Personally I believe that men are biologically designed to sleep with lots of women.

This technically goes against monogamy where you stay with one person for many yrs.

On one hand you have to admire the self control and selflessness that some married men have to stay faithful to their wives for many yrs.

Not every man is capable of this, the fact that the majority of the customers of escorts are married men shows the nature that men have to sleep with loads of women.

Gurds although I have found you recent threads interesting discussion points.. looking at the threads you've started, you seem to be having a bit of existential crisis, 'why do I not function in the same way as other men in society'.

I think most meant want to sleep with lots of people, they don't for a number of reasons:
-They won't punt for moral reasons (societal programming)
-They believe its morally correct to be monogamous (societal programming)
-Sex without punting takes effort/confidence, not worth the hassle or they can't get the girls they'd like even with the effort so don't bother

Then there will be a handful (possibly not many) that aren't susceptible to the above
They love their partner, some of these types morals consider her too strongly to mess around (selflessness & self control you highlighted)

Really don't think they're all as commendable as your post suggests

 

[monkmarvey]

This makes no sense whatsoever. They can't have babies with all these males.

No - the point is it is only recently in our history that we discovered it only took one sperm to impregnate a woman.
Which religion has jumped on

[akauya]

I believe there have been countless studies and theories about human monogamy, whether it's natural, conditioned, etc. As usual opinions vary.

I posted before that I found the book "Sex at Dawn" by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha and their argument that humans aren't meant to be monogamous, rather compelling. Although it received heavy criticism by some academics I really enjoyed it and it's worth a read as it deals with human sexuality and relationships in lay terms.

[WestMids74]

I think most meant want to sleep with lots of people, they don't for a number of reasons:
-They won't punt for moral reasons (societal programming)
-They believe its morally correct to be monogamous (societal programming)
-Sex without punting takes effort/confidence, not worth the hassle or they can't get the girls they'd like even with the effort so don't bother

Then there will be a handful (possibly not many) that aren't susceptible to the above
They love their partner, some of these types morals consider her too strongly to mess around (selflessness & self control you highlighted)

Really don't think they're all as commendable as your post suggests

Completely agree with the points mentioned above on societal programming and morality. Someone mentioned in another post on this thread that the average UK male only has 4 sexual partners in his lifetime! That may or may not be true but regardless it is baffling to me. I personally am in a mindset right now where I'd like to sleep with as many attractive women as possible! Maybe that will change with time, but to answer the threads original question, monogamy definitely goes against my current nature.

[Cheshuk]

I believe there have been countless studies and theories about human monogamy, whether it's natural, conditioned, etc. As usual opinions vary.

would think any study would have to be prepared for more than two outcomes, one gender is the other not, could be natural to some and unnatural to others of the same gender or sexual monogamy isn't natural but having one partner for connection is (open-relationships is our baseline state)

I posted before that I found the book "Sex at Dawn" by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha and their argument that humans aren't meant to be monogamous, rather compelling.

I've not read up on the subject, but I'd expect this.

Given humans are inherently social and hedonistic creatures. In a hypothetical situation, where people were dropped on an island with no external cultural influence from birth (with safety, language and survival somehow catered for), I would be very surprised to find monogamy