Tornado ‘87
Have you ever seen 2 cars attempting to have sex ?
I have. Only a few weeks ago I had cause to visit Edmonton in Alberta. I saw this photo in a bus shelter of these 2 cars - one was on its back, or roof, looking quite submissive, whilst the other was a truck and it was on top of the first car. Their wheels were touching, and it made me smile because it felt like they were embracing one another and it got me thinking about sex.
The rest of the scene wasn’t quite as heartwarming though. It resembled the aftermath of a tsunami. The 2 cars were in the midst of collapsed buildings and a general chaos - a scene which would hold its own in the innermost depths of hell. Upon undertaking some leisurely research, I later discovered that it was a photo taken in the wake of the infamous 1987 Edmonton tornado in which 27 people lost their lives.
I spent the rest of the week thinking about what it would be like to be caught in a tornado. I want to say that we had one in the UK during the 1980s. Not like the Edmonton one I guess - houses being sucked into the sky, lying down in basements and haunting black skies an all that.
Being away always makes me long for paid for sex for some reason, and in line with the ethos of this forum and community, I will now set out and detail the finer points of my recent adventure at The Directors Lodge - straight to the point with no unnecessary deviations or detours.
A few days later and I’m back in the UK and I’m on all fours whilst Scarlet is tying up me balls and shoving a sounding rod up me cock, spitting in me mouth and calling me a useless cunt. All very nice. When I’ve come and I’m out of the room, Lisa goes to me ‘oh, I need to introduce you to Honey, you’ll really like her’.
So I’m in the lounge area my head still spinning from the significant quantity of poppers I’ve just inhaled and Honey emerges from the downstairs room where she has been mid blow job with another punter. She introduces herself. She looks all hookerish, a good looking girl, a nice body and pretty face, maybe 24/25 ish etc. She goes, ‘do you want to come in the room and watch this cunt fuck me’, so I’m thinking, I’ve got a bit of time on me hands so why not. It will be like my own little personal porno. I can even get to direct the action as I see fit.
And in the room I go. The first thing I clap me eyes on is this little fella stood there naked with an erection, just staring at me. It was surreal. Honey is immediately down on her knees and treating the little fella to a nice nice blow job and he is looking at me all intense like, asking me what it looks like and I’m like ‘yeah, well…..it looks really good pal’.
He just kept staring me out with this intensity - it was like some kind of porno Mexican standoff. If it had been in a pub during the 1980s I’d have been concerned about an imminent ‘glassing’. I think he was just excited though, bless him. Anyroadup, I got me cock out and thought I may as well get into the flow. So I commenced wanking meself whilst he is busy nailing Honey from behind, looking at me intensely and telling me that his wife is probably getting fucked by someone else, which I am like ‘yeah, possibly - is she good looking ?’
At this point Honey is sucking me and wanking me off whilst being fucked by the other guy and she is asking me whether I’ve got a job to go to or am I just some sad cunt who comes in here on a random Thu morning in the hope of wanking myself off and paying for sex. I should get a life. I love all of this pillow chat though. Proper good it is.
But it is all wasted on me as I’ve only just come 10 mins earlier, so I’m not going to come again and the guy shoots his muck and he’s loving it and so is Honey. Blimey what an adventure this is turning into. She takes the condom off him and points out that it’s full up. I look across at him and smile awkwardly, trying to convey a sort of ‘well done pal’ chumminess. He’s stopped staring at me now and look of intensity is beginning to be replaced by a look of guilt, shame and regret.
Isn’t it incredible how some folk change once they have come.
He was all chatty before he came, asking whether I thought his wife was getting gang banged and all kinds of filth. And now nothing. I tried to engage him with a bit of footie chat, but he was having none of it.
He hurriedly starts to pull on his shirt and tie, and he’s desperate to get out. Oh well, there’s no winning over some people. I make me excuses and leave. I knew id be back though.
A few days later, and I’m on the phone to Directors Lodge to enquire about booking Honey for 30 mins of vigorous and excessive perversion. I’ve been wanking meself over the events of the other day. I bet my old dad would’ve loved that scenario. In fact I bet he did that a few times. I’ve been wanking over the thought of Honey’s arse and the thought of her there on her knees looking up with her tongue out of her mouth, just waiting for the spunk to land. I will have more of that, but without the intense little fella taking away my limelight.
Honey comes into the room all enthusiastic like and starts kissing me with her tongue and trying to get me cock out. I’m like fucking hell this is good fun. And then the poppers are out and she is telling me I’m a sick fucker and my missus should divorce me and I’m on all fours and she has my balls restrained/tied up and there are more poppers to be sniffed and The room is spinning out of control and I feel proper perverted and Honey is doing some proper expert edging on me cock. I think it’s a shame she hasn’t got a sounding rod handy - I just fancy having it shoved all the way into my cock and she even gets the hand sanitiser on my cock and balls - which didn’t half tingle but in a nice way.
I get to eat out Honey’s arse and cunt and it’s proper good because during this process she is offering me more poppers and is keeping me topped up and I’m really appreciative of this to be honest and this goes on for a good 10 mins and then I sit up and ask Honey to spit in me mouth and she loves this idea and there are copious quantities of saliva being dribbled into my mouth and she is combining this with her tongue and kissing me. It’s all really good and then I want my balls pulling back and she does this expertly and quite frankly I am loving every moment, and by this stage time is beginning to run out and she sits in front of me legs open fingering herself and talking proper filth and I am wanking me cock and the white stuff shoots out and lands on the bit of tissue paper they always have.
I hand over £70 for services rendered. I see they have now reverted back to the £12 entrance fee. It was £10 for a while. £82 in total to satiate meself and indulge all manner of perversions and fetishes.
And in this moment in time I don’t give a stuff about the Edmonton tornado. I step outside and it’s bright and sunny and a passing motorist looks at me and smiles.
When I get in the car I think about those poor buggers in Maui. People made homeless and all that, widespread damage and at least 115 dead. I don’t care what anyone says we’re lucky in this country.
I discovered this band when I was over there. They are called The Rural Alberta Advantage and they actually wrote a song about the Tornado called Tornado 87. I will commend this song to you, my friends.
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