I think women are angered by the ease with which prostitutes allow men to cheat. [1]
If a woman is withholding sex for whatever reason a man who goes down the prostitute route can be having sex hours after he makes the decision to do so with a girl of his choosing who will probably offer services that the wife/partner has never or no longer offers. The guy also just needs £100 and an hour or so of free time to do the deed.
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Prostitutes undermine the ability of women to control their men through sex. If women did not try that then there would be far less cheating. Even a weekly quickie would keep most guys on board. Not having sex for months and being continually rejected whilst living in a world where sexual imagery is everywhere is going to frustrate any guy. [2]
1 - Bit of a sweeping statement there. Whilst there maybe some women who are indeed "angered by the ease with which prostitutes allow men to cheat" the majority will probably feel more angered due to misconceptions, perception of illegality, morals and to a great extent the stigma of prostitution.
2 - Again you're lumping all women as controlling freaks who withhold sex to control their men. I'm not denying that there may be huge amount of women who do that, some more so than others. However, there are probably a bigger amount of women who for some reason or another just no longer feel the desire to have sex with their husbands/partners. The reasons for this are legion and probably range from something ridiculously silly to something seriously worrying such being in an abusive relationship.
Then there are some women who just go off sex altogether, they love their husbands/partners, they live in a 'happy' marriage but their libido just goes. Of course there are some women who no longer want sex with their partners but are happy to find sex with someone else. They are the ones who by virtue of living with a man 24/7 dealing with farts, dirty socks, daily boring routine, etc. makes sex with their partners as appealing as sticking a wasps' nest up their fanny.
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But let's not all get into the idea that everyone (men and women) who live in a sexless marriage goes off to find sex with someone else. There maybe countless people out there who may be just as happy to live without sex. There are asexual people who get married and remain so not because of physical intimacy but for the emotional intimacy (I know people like that.)
I find it very sad also that some people believe that it's a woman's duty to satisfy her husband sexually, otherwise the man is entitled to go off and have affairs. It's sad that we still live by that biblical nonsense in the 21st century. It puts unnecessary pressure on relationships when some men feel entitled to sex and some women feel they are failing because they are not satisfying their men. Equally if a woman is giving plenty of sex to her partner she feels entitled to have/demand what she wants from him, etc. It's a recipe for disaster and leads to unhappy relationships, and we all do this to ourselves.
The problem as I see it is monogamy. Whilst it may have been useful and necessary in early societies I think monogamy is no longer suited to modern lifestyles... but I won't go into detail as my ideas are rather weird.
So my rationale for crossing the line is that to me it’s a genuine ride: as in fairground ride.
You pay your money and hop on for a sensory thrill for 30 minutes or so. That’s it.
I love my wife absolutely but as it’s sexless now and likely forever I’m morally comfortable with this choice.
I think it’s keeping me from an affair too with an emotional attachment and risk to the marriage.
Of course I’d never tell the wife but I really see it more of a cheap thrill than “cheating”.
You may see it as a "cheap thrill" but it's still cheating.
And before anyone thinks I'm pontificating, I'm not. I'm 100% aware that I'm a bastard, cheating, scumbag. I don't pretend what I do is not cheating. I also live in a sexless marriage and I have had many affairs, I go swinging, and see sex workers regularly. I think had my marriage not been sexless I would still be a bastard, cheating, scumbag. In my defence though, I remained faithful for many years during the sexual drought at home as I wanted to be a "good husband" but nature has its way to force our behaviour I guess.
I blame testosterone and monogamy.