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External Link/Members OnlyVery weird punt this - walked for my own safety, before I even made the front door.
COMMS
OK to start. Any text approach receives an auto-reply saying to call, so I did.
Sounds great on the phone - sexy, quite posh, educated. I'm going to take a wild guess and say all three are heavily put-on - or it was someone else fielding calls. One jarring moment when I asked where was good to park... "
In the car park?! {insert heavily chippy / sarcastic tone here} "
Arrangements made to meet that evening, postcode sent. I chose to let the heavy sarcasm of her parking response lie;
Maybe just a bad moment? I thought...
Maybe she's got a bit of "character" about her? I thought...
It's £60-70 for what looks like a mucky time - vs £80 for a doubtless crap 30 minute punt at the Chinese place in the marina... I thought...
VENUE
She seems very keen for you to park in the car park of the flats where she's staying. I'd go as far as to say insistent. Based on previous reviews about her attitude I wasn't risking that, so parked several streets away in the town centre, walked in, and bullshitted her when she persistently asked me where I had parked. Thank fk I did, is all I can say.
THE MEET
Never happened. I walked 10 minutes from my parking spot to the flats and called for instructions. The posh voice was back on - sounding good.
Given the flat number, but nothing else - turns out it's two totally different blocks of flats right next to each other, and the doorways are pretty dark so it's hard to see the numbers. The flat number she gave me was lower than any on the door I found, so I went off in search of another entrance. Nope, nothing. Ended up in a housing estate so retraced my steps and called her for help. This is where it goes completely tits up.
She's really snarky when she answers..."
Yeah, where are you...?" I point out that I'm having trouble finding her flat and she starts going into one - sarcastic, rude, swearing away - when all I'm asking for is help and directions. Not to mention I've got 150 shagging vouchers burning a hole in my pocket; I've popped a Bluey and am ready to burst, and I'm up for fun. She starts shouting
"I can hear you in my corridor... WTF are you doing talking to me on the phone while you're inside..." (at this point I'm still 400m up the road in another estate) and yadda yadda yadda...
Thankfully training from my previous career kicks in: the gig's gone to rat shit; it's not going to get better from here on; and I'm in danger. Not physically, my previous career has me well served that way, but potentially reputationally / getting in a minor scrap somewhere I don't want to be / having the Old Bill pitch up and ask awkward questions. It's clear an immediate extraction is the correct route (and I'm not talking a visit to the emergency dentist
) and I hear her effing and blinding in the background as I hang up, carefully retreat, and take an extremely circuitous route back to my car across town, making very sure I'm not being followed.
En route get a text -
"I guess you're a messer then? Huh?" Sit in car. Take deep breath. Decide I've got a hard-on so it will have to be the Chinese shop at the marina even if only for a 15 min P&D, and then the phone rings. It's her - it's now 20 mins after the last call, 18 mins after the "messer" text, and 15 mins after the appointment time - surely she isn't deluded enough to be ringing to see if I'm still coming (?!) so I decide not to answer as I can't be arsed getting into an argument.
Ten more minutes pass, and I get the most extraordinary text calling me a "
wanker" and all the other c*nts under the sun...
you can't even answer your phone... your a f*cking this and fkn that... and more besides. Not a long text, but really unpleasant and threatening - bless her though, it must have taken her the whole ten minutes to type out such an intelligent and witty put-down, with her tongue lolling out of her mouth trying to think of long words to insult me with
KEY LEARNING POINTS
Thank you to the earlier poster, who reinforced my own personal feelings on "anonymity" and "
no way am I parking in an SP's front drive / car park." The calls / texts suggest there's something well wrong here, and this could have got very nasty if I'd been daft enough to park there and have her eyeball my number plate.
Ditto the use of a burner punting phone. She thinks she's got my number now, and is no doubt sitting in a totally empty flat in Ipswich, with a four pack of Special Brew and no punters, wondering how she'll get me back. That SIM card is already dead and in the Orwell River, never to be used again, but howling at the moon / a dead number will probably keep her amused for a bit.
Sad really. Could have been a right filthy punt, but I think this experience and the other - very questionable - feedback on her erratic behaviour is adding up to a pretty reliable trend. This looks like one dog who has very much had her day...
POSTSCRIPT
The punt at the Chinese place was, as expected, crap. A pump and dump with a chubby Oriental PORG in her mid-thirties / early forties, who couldn't have been more disinterested if she tried. But it did have the benefit of a) emptying my balls, b) only costing £40 for 15 minutes, and c) not involving some erratic, entitled indigenous old hag who treats us with total contempt and vitriol. For that, and only that, it was worth the forty quid.
Caveat Emptor
Topic: JUICY JORDANS JUGGS - Ipswich - Losing it? (Read 3276 times)
