A better location for these ongoing reviews of this particular venue might be the London Massage Shop Mini Reviews section, but since I know this provider quite well, a fuller version seems called for here.
For details relating to their appointments, the environs, facilities and the MO of this venue, see my previous review on Alina here:
https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=359643.0...though I see I neglected to include their number or any other link
External Link/Members OnlyT: 020 3112 0021
VanessaMid to late 20s, possibly early 30s, brunette, Balkan, though she is often presented as Spanish.
Medium height and build as far as the general population goes, though actually one of the slimmer, and also prettier masseuses at Elite. She's worked at this outfit for some years (presumably at the other, more northerly venue) and is therefore one of the veterans. In my view she's girl-next-door pretty and would doubtless scrub up admirably enough, though she will likely tell you on her own account and according to her longstanding faithful clients, that she used to be a good deal prettier, but that some unspecified illness derailed nature's gift.
AptitudeShe's capable of providing a good standard massage, and knows the ropes well enough to deliver the entertainment we're looking for.
AttitudeVanessa is friendly enough, and, if you want it, a good conversationalist in English. Certain of our native idioms may throw her temporarily, or not be clear to her at first, but she's witty enough to find the workarounds for most.
She does have a tendency to rather overshare; and so you might hear about how male customers of x race tend to be aggressively importunate; there will be a repeated emphasis on how she is NOT a prostitute; and variants of some of the many domestic challenges she faces in her house-share and worse. Notwithstanding all which, I'd say she's a normal and pleasant enough person, though one who appears to be emotionally exhausted by the character and status of her job here, and is perhaps rapidly coming to the time when it might be right to move on.
What is going to make this the weakest possible neutral verdict is that she is also lazy, insufferably bureaucratic and a chiseller. I'll have to ask you to trust me on this, as any detailed explanation will risk outing myself, and, whilst I still haven't yet fully explored the line-up at the spa, and hope for better things to come, I'd rather not put that all at risk just yet. Suffice to say that she will contrive to chisel your time with a variety of inventive distractions if you permit it, and if you're an experienced parlour-goer, then you'll be able to detect the slacking of applied pressure; the mindlessly repetitive, directionless routines and an overall lack of vigour - and this might well make itself apparent quite early in her shift, as opposed to being somewhat understandable towards the wearier end of a 12 hour work day.
There was an occasion where I booked a long duration treatment, but as she delayed her entrance by more than just a couple of minutes, I realised that I'd be late for a follow-on appointment, and so informed her I'd be curtailing ours a bit. Someway through, her up-till-then good efforts had begun to persuade me that I might, after all, risk keeping the originally booked duration, and said as much. I was staggered when she had the gall to say that, in effect, she was could only accept my first amended instruction. I was so gobsmacked by this stupid avariciousness and the conceited notion that she could think the customer would let that slide, that... I did actually let it slide. And that, Vanessa, is how, for the sake of bagging yourself an extra 10 minutes filing your nails in the staff room, you lost a prospectively longstanding, non-gropey customer, and teeter on the precipice of a negative.
Events & pricingFrom memory she likes to see if she can get £50 for a HJ; and £70 (or is it £80?) for a FBSM. The former is adequate (though it is clear she is often away thinking about whether she put enough rinse aid in the dishwasher last night as she somewhat absently and impatiently tugs away); the latter is perfunctory and unexciting, despite the promise of her quite nice little bod. I remember feeling that these prices were ambitiously high, but that if she fully engaged herself, it would only be £20 or so above the norm, and was therefore worth the punt. She also likes to get you to get up from the table at this point, root in your pockets to find your wallet and pay her before anything happens: how to >KILL< a mood, eh?
Back to the FBSM; I can't be entirely sure, but I have some thought that in essence it transpires to be a tit-rub on the back with her pants kept on. For a total approaching £125 (of which she is banking £85 for c. 53minutes) this compares very poorly with the abundantly found £120 full-service hours that we can find on offer from actual prostitutes.
ConclusionI shan't be returning to Vanessa myself, but despite the obvious negativity of much of the last few paragraphs, she somehow scrapes a neutral, albeit by the thickness of a layer of graphene, because overall you will get what is advertised and it might just work out for you. Nonetheless, my feeling is that she is heading inexorably towards burn-out and should seriously consider leaving before the burden of staying is no longer concealable at all.
