Sala Thai Massage - Reading - Avoid at all costs

[MrPunter37]

I'm really sorry to start off posting here with a negative review, but after you read my post you will understand why.

The Curiosity

Yesterday me an a friend decided to try out the new "Sala Thai Massage" on Whitley St, Reading. Make no mistake, we had our share of massages so the expectation was very low to being with.

At the reception there was a pretty hot 20~30 years old Thai lady, and next to her on the bench a mixture of decent, not so hot and hot ladies.

Asked a few questions including:

- Do you have shower facilities? = "Yes, each room has"
- Can we pay the booking via card? = "No, the card reader is not working"

We had cash set aside for B2B so wanted to pay the booking via card. Ended up transferring to their bank account for a 30 minutes session. Imagine that.

Whilst waiting for my friend to finish paying, I had a good look at the ladies sitting there. Totally disinterested and some even looked angry. We are decent looking lads in their ~30's, well groomed, dressed, what's not to like? No idea.

The Session

I was taken into the back room by a petite one with decent looks, but she looked so angry for some reason. The moment I steped into the room it was like inside a refrigerator. Super cold, I mean very cold. I can take cold, but it was just ridiculous cold to have a naked massage.

Asked about the heating, she turned on a small heater that could not cope. Asked about the shower room, she said there is none. I was like WTF? I just asked your boss and she said you have shower facilities. She runs outside to her boss and comes back saying: "Sorry, there is a shower room outside but water not working" - Again, WTF!?

I decided to continue because I was thinking with my other head, so asked straight upfront: "Do you offer B2B"?

Here is what she told me:

- "30 pounds for hand finish and you can touch my butt"
- "50 pounds I get naked, but pants don't come off"

I pulled out my cash and it was exactly 40 pounds, because that's the market price at massage parlours for B2B. The moment I pulled out the cash, showed her and said: "I do not have 50, I have 40 and I want B2B", she literally pulled out the cash from my hand and went to her purse and stashed it.

This should have been the tipping point where I should have walked away and asked from the cash back. Nobody ever did this to me, and I had a million massages.

At this point I was like again, W.T.F? I specifically insisted that my cash was for B2B, so she said:

- "I can get naked, pants say on, I will massage you with my breasts and hand finish, and you give me another 30 pounds"

So I said, wait; you already grabbed the 40 pounds from my hand, with another 30 that's 70. I declined. This was already ridiculous, I just wanted a B2B. No "breast" massage and other shit. Also the fact that "pants stay on" already says it's not B2B.

Onto the table and she started a very aggressive, rushed and painful massage. I'm not joking, for me as pretty fit man it hurt. She was literally taking the piss. I asked her several times in 5 minutes to slow down and don't push so hard. I cannot even explain how bad this "massage" was. Was not even a massage, she just rubbed aggressively my limbs and back to the point that I was in pain.

After these 5 minutes she says turn over. Again, she rubbed my limbs super hard, after which she takes a bottle of oil and pours a bunch of it onto my stand by fellow. I wasn't even excited or hard and she started wanking me. It felt so grim.

After about 5 minutes or so I was hard-ish, but the aggressiveness continued, and she says to me "show me how you cum". W.T.F. I said to her: "Listen, this session was so rushed that I cannot finish like this, this is crazy".

Her reply: "Oh, so sorry, I will do slower, but you only have half an hour". I said: "Sure, but we have plenty of time". She continues wanking me, and I was forcing myself to finish but couldn't. It was so mechanical that it just wasn't doing it for me.

I politely tried to get up and said: "Sorry, this is just not working for me.". Again with the "Oh, so sorry, I do better for you". Again... shitty wank and I just completely lost my interest.

So I got up 2 minutes later from laying back and said to her: "Listen, this is not working. You are rushing too much, being aggressive and this is just crazy. Please keep the cash and send someone else in. Just keep the cash."

Once again her reply: "Oh, so sorry. But you only have 8 minutes left and you cannot switch ladies". This was my boiling point, so I got up from the table to start dressing back.

I kept arguing with her that how on earth I have 8 minutes left when I checked my phone when I got onto the table and it's been 15 minutes altogether. Her replies were absolute bullshit, from "Oh, so sorry" to "We do not switch ladies".

I had to ask for wet wipes to get cleaned from the oil and she had to go outside to get them...

After I got dressed and headed outside, it just so happend that my friend came outside as well from the other room. Seeing him already confirmed to me that his experience was similar.

The End

Once I got to the reception, there was 5-6 ladies sitting and giggling, and I asked: "Who is the boss or manager here"? They started looking at each other, laughing, and eventually the one sitting at the reception confirmed she is.

I explained the situation and frustration, that I was lied about the shower, super cold room, very rushed and aggressive massage, not allowing to switch ladies, and altogether a horrific experience.

She giggled a few words between "Oh, so sorry" and the lady that was massaging me said something in Thai to her whilst smiling. Left the place with lost cash and not even a damn hand job.

Outside speaking with my friend he had nearly the exact same experience, not even a hand finish. His massage lady kept asking for money as well on and on, and tricked him confirming that she will do B2B but then did not want to undress.

At the end of the day we just wanted a B2B massage, nobody asked for sex, or oral, or anything else. These women's attitude is just not justified.

So there you have it, complete, raw experience. You decide if you want to go to this place, I really recommend you do not.

They should not be in the massage business. I really wish I could post a google review, but due to privacy... I cannot.

Hidden Image/Members Only

[contentguy]

Well, all I'll say is welcome and what a totally bollocks first review.

And you also slate "Sunni Patti" in another thread, she hasn't gone by that nick for some time.  Perhaps after I mentioned the association with peanut butter.

[xxxdavidxxx]

Thai massage shops are sometimes quite straight and some offer extra the girls in straight ones
Will some times sort you out but at crazy prices
If you fancy a body to body at a realistic price better to choose a Chinese shop they all offer
Body to body for 40 to 50 quid

[daviemac]

OP your review has been moved because it comes across as being posted as a negative to discredit the establishment, plus with comments like - "I pulled out my cash and it was exactly 40 pounds, because that's the market price at massage parlours for B2B. The moment I pulled out the cash, showed her and said: "I do not have 50, I have 40 and I want B2B"," - you come across as a boundary pusher.  The 'market price' is irrelevant, each provider has their own rates, if you want a £40 service go to somewhere that provides a £40 service not one that charges £50.

[MrPunter37]

OP your review has been moved because it comes across as being posted as a negative to discredit the establishment, plus with comments like - "I pulled out my cash and it was exactly 40 pounds, because that's the market price at massage parlours for B2B. The moment I pulled out the cash, showed her and said: "I do not have 50, I have 40 and I want B2B"," - you come across as a boundary pusher.  The 'market price' is irrelevant, each provider has their own rates, if you want a £40 service go to somewhere that provides a £40 service not one that charges £50.

BTW you should have used Google maps street view instead of standing outside the shop to take a photo.

This is hilarious.

1. I am discrediting them because they are just after quick rub and thug, asking for more and more.

2. I am not pushing any boundaries, every man that goes to a massage wants a hand finish. At least in my opinion.

3. What are you even talking about the photo? It's the photo from google maps... do you really think I am stupid enough to stand outside and take a photo?

I don't understand what's with all this sarcasm and agresiveness towards a new member. I simply shared my experience, to better or worse.

[daviemac]

This is hilarious.

1. I am discrediting them because they are just after quick rub and thug, asking for more and more.

2. I am not pushing any boundaries, every man that goes to a massage wants a hand finish. At least in my opinion.

3. What are you even talking about the photo? It's the photo from google maps... do you really think I am stupid enough to stand outside and take a photo?

I don't understand what's with all this sarcasm and agresiveness towards a new member. I simply shared my experience, to better or worse.

We get an awful lot of pimps posting negative reviews to discredit rival establishments and that is not what this site is about, your post comes across as being in that category so will therefore be treated as such.

You saying "I only have £40 and I want body to body" comes across as passive aggressive and is not the sort of thing a decent punter would do.

Perhaps if you had read the guide to review writing before posting it might have come across in a different tone.

[MrPunter37]

We get an awful lot of pimps posting negative reviews to discredit rival establishments and that is not what this site is about, your post comes across as being in that category so will therefore be treated as such.

You saying "I only have £40 and I want body to body" comes across as passive aggressive and is not the sort of thing a decent punter would do.

Perhaps if you had read the guide to review writing before posting it might have come across in a different tone.

Well my wording can be misunderstood, I agree. But this is definitely up to the reader how we want's to interpret it. It's just negotiation.

I do understand you get a lot of fake shit around here, but let me be clear: I am not a PIMP.

Anyway, moving my review here will not have much effect, so be it as it is.

Merry Christmas.

[jimmyinreading]

This is hilarious.

1. I am discrediting them because they are just after quick rub and thug, asking for more and more.

2. I am not pushing any boundaries, every man that goes to a massage wants a hand finish. At least in my opinion.

3. What are you even talking about the photo? It's the photo from google maps... do you really think I am stupid enough to stand outside and take a photo?

I don't understand what's with all this sarcasm and agresiveness towards a new member. I simply shared my experience, to better or worse.

The suggestion re pushing boundaries is probably down to still expecting b2b when it was very clear that she would be keeping her pants on, and that she would not be providing b2b.

[contentguy]

2. I am not pushing any boundaries, every man that goes to a massage wants a hand finish. At least in my opinion.

If you're not boundary pushing then it could well be Elvis working in my local chippy!

The trouble with long ranty (non) reviews like this is it's easy to miss the detail when reading them quickly.

You asked for a service she didn't provide, insisted she provide it and got shitty with her.

Not all massage places offer a "hand finish" as you put it.  Some of the ones that don't, have positive reviews here.  Some of the ones that do, have negative reviews here.  But neither the ones that do nor the ones that don't welcome dickheads.

.....so asked straight upfront: "Do you offer B2B"?

Here is what she told me:

- "30 pounds for hand finish and you can touch my butt"
- "50 pounds I get naked, but pants don't come off"

I pulled out my cash and it was exactly 40 pounds, because that's the market price at massage parlours for B2B. The moment I pulled out the cash, showed her and said: "I do not have 50, I have 40 and I want B2B", she literally pulled out the cash from my hand and went to her purse and stashed it.

You asked her if B2B was on offer, she told you no (HR for 30 and naked with pants on for £50).  There was no offer of B2B yet you kept insisting that you wanted B2B for £40.

Compromising, she offers to rub her tits on your back for another £30 (still no offer of proper B2B).  She hadn't agreed to rub her tits on you before and decided to charge extra.  She probably added a bit of "this client's a tosser" tax.

So in summary, you and your dashing mate went to this place for a B2B massage.  Unfortunately your collective "god's gift to women" genes were malfunctioning..

As they don't do B2B massages, rather than enjoying was on offer, you got shitty and had a shit time. 
I wonder how their review of you would read.

I look forward to your future contributions, though you'll be starting to realise that we don't welcome boundary pushers here. 

[webpunter]

Your profile name should be Karen
Laughing @ you
Quelle surprise 

Once I got to the reception, there was 5-6 ladies sitting and giggling,
and I asked: "Who is the boss or manager here"?
They started looking at each other, laughing, and eventually the one sitting at the reception confirmed she is.
Hidden Image/Members Only

Thats up to them
IMO you should not be on here
You make a piss poor start to UKP & its been downhill since
Its time to 'off you fuck'

They should not be in the massage business

Hidden Image/Members Only

[scutty brown]

External Link/Members Only

[MrPunter37]

If you're not boundary pushing then it could well be Elvis working in my local chippy!

The trouble with long ranty (non) reviews like this is it's easy to miss the detail when reading them quickly.

You asked for a service she didn't provide, insisted she provide it and got shitty with her.

Not all massage places offer a "hand finish" as you put it.  Some of the ones that don't, have positive reviews here.  Some of the ones that do, have negative reviews here.  But neither the ones that do nor the ones that don't welcome dickheads.

You asked her if B2B was on offer, she told you no (HR for 30 and naked with pants on for £50).  There was no offer of B2B yet you kept insisting that you wanted B2B for £40.

Compromising, she offers to rub her tits on your back for another £30 (still no offer of proper B2B).  She hadn't agreed to rub her tits on you before and decided to charge extra.  She probably added a bit of "this client's a tosser" tax.

So in summary, you and your dashing mate went to this place for a B2B massage.  Unfortunately your collective "god's gift to women" genes were malfunctioning..

As they don't do B2B massages, rather than enjoying was on offer, you got shitty and had a shit time. 
I wonder how their review of you would read.

I look forward to your future contributions, though you'll be starting to realise that we don't welcome boundary pushers here. 

What? Just what the hell are you talking about? Who pushed what???

The woman offered me "wide" list of BS "extras" which nobody would pay for. HR with "pants on" for 50? Come on man, cut the crap. Who want's that??? Of course I insisted B2B when she pulled the cash out of my fucking hands.

Every massage parlour offers HR and B2B. That's why it's called "parlour" and not "professional". At least I can confirm with 100% certainty after trying all the parlours in Reading (including the above). Some offer less and some offer more, but HR B2B is on the table from the get go. "What do you want today?" - "Well, what's on offer"? = "20 blowjob, 40 B2B, full service 70". Don't believe me? Just visit george street for example.

And if you never had such offers, well, fuck me. You been doing it wrong.

You should be fucking thankful that I am trying to save you time and money from this horrific place, but you know what, you go ahead and try for yourself.