Ok. Buckle up. I went through the Glaswegian rite of passage, aka SexyFrenchGirl a couple of months ago:
External Link/Members Only I've only now gotten out of the shower to recap.
I sort of figured I knew what I was getting into. I was hoping for some unfettered debauchery, but SFG is kinda rote even is she's clearly filthy.
CommsComms were strange. I phoned, barely got a few words in before she hung up and texted me a long list that I responded to. I asked her to wear a skirt and stockings. I got to her place and phoned and she guided me in.
The 'girl'39 is very much not true. I wish I'd made an excuse the moment she opened the door, as she reminded me of Gillian McKeith. She was also wearing ill-fitting stockings and an unflatttering once-piece.
Her flat is a mess. Cat statues stare down at you in judgement. I was also baffled that she keeps a ledger of people out for all to see. I could have taken a look at it when she left the room, as it was easily accessible. Made me glad I use Hushed.
The service. 100 for an hour. We started on the toilet as she needed to piss, and led me into the bog. She sucked me off while peeing, which was the highlight. It was the only time it felt like a natural moment.
Back to the bed, under the auspices of her porcelain cats. As people have mentioned, her kissing action is very odd. She pokes her tounge out in quick darts. It's like being elbowed by her tongue. Then she told me to get on my back and started to suck me off. It was OK, and she wanted to rim me, which is something I like. Not like this, though. Same tongue technique. I did not know something as soft as a tongue up the arse could be so uncomfortable.
Honestly, at this point I was only keeping hard through sheer willpower. I decided to flip her over and doggy her. She spent a lot of that yammerring and guiding me, telling me to move my body parts around. I've no idea how I came, but I did. Then I did something stupid: I stayed for a massage. I don't know why. I just did.
She spent most of it being vaguely racist, not listening to any of my responses, and it wasn't a good massage. After about ten mins, I managed to wangle out of her grasp and made my excuses.
Never again.
