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Dear oh fucking dear.
The advert for this one had been brought to my attention in a massage with blowjob thread over in the general discussion.
An English MILF giving me a massage and blowjob was something I had not experienced in a long while.
I was skeptical of the ad due to the poor English, but against my better judgement I decided to pursue a meet.
Text the evening before, radio silence. Tried to call in the morning, no answer but received a text back saying hello fairly promptly.
Enquired about availability, was given the OK for requested time, postcode and street name. Price confirmed £60 for one hour body to body, £20 extra for either hand finish or covered oral. Asked to call upon arrival.
English off again in texts. Pretty sure at this point they weren't English but fuck it, let's chance it anyway.
Pulled up outside a legit looking salon, suspected this would be where the meet took place after checking the area prior online, and phoned as requested. EE accent answers and tells me they'll text the address. Surprisingly I was given the name of a different salon further down the street that I had driven past but not noticed. It was strange, a themed salon, think popular BBC series
but it was actually done really well.
The place looked closed but upon approach I could see the lady waiting through the window and she opened the door to let me in with no hanging around.
Before me stood a blonde, not particularly attractive facially but not ugly, surely 50+, size 14ish EE lady in a t-shirt and leggings. I have certainly been with worse. Not the slightest resemblance to the advertised photos. Against my better judgement, again I thought fuck it, it could still be enjoyable.
Confirmed in conversation she was Hungarian. Had been in Derby for some years but only working here this last week plus next before going elsewhere.
Massage carried out on a proper table, albeit without a face hole, only a folded towel to prop my forehead on. Generous amount of oil used, medium strength as requested, pretty basic technique, not sensual at all. Gave me a going over with one of those massage guns, and also what I can only imagine was some sort of knobbly rolling pin.
Sensing time was passing and that she was still fully clothed, I debated asking about the body to body aspect but decided I would rather she actually kept off of me and kept her clothes on. I had lost whatever hope I previously had of this being good. She never brought it up either. On the turn a b-line was made for my limp dick and she motioned for a handjob. I suspect this would be the point where I could of asked for the blowjob, but any desire for such had long gone.
I think she managed to get me about 75% erect, before there was a knock at the door and the other lady obviously informed her it was time to wrap things up. My not fully erect dick was then furiously wanked and to my surprise I actually managed to cum.
Quick wipe down and then I couldn't get my clothes on and out the door fast enough.
Realised on the way home after passing that I was only 2 minutes away from Iris' place and thought I should of just fucking gone there.
Oh, and when I was showering at home I found that my cock resembled a balloon animal after the beating she had given me.
So yeah, all in all a rather shit time and I'll be trying to avoid any TOFTTs in future!
