Funniest Song Title

[Thephoenix]

I found myself watching the old film 'Rita, Sue and Bob too', on Talking Pictures, and they were playing the oddly titled song 'We're Having A Gang Bang', which made me start to think of others like.....

With Me Little Stick of Blackpool rock,
My Old Man's a Dustman,
Gilly Gilly Ossenfeffer Katzenellenbogen By The Sea,
If I Said You Had a Beautiful Body Would You Hold It Against Me?,
Does Your Chewing Gum Lose it's Flavour on the Bedpost Overnight?,
Shoop Shoop Diddy Wop Cumma Cumma Wang Dang
A penis A penis The Great Gift That I Possess

I'm sure you can do better!

[Brummie999]

Just check Half Man Half Biscuit for such classics as
such classics as

All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit
Rod Hull Is Alive – Why?
The Bastard Son Of Dean Friedman
The Len Ganley Stance
National Shite Day
Joy Division Oven Gloves
Paintball’s Coming Home
Outbreak of Vitas Gerulaitis
Fuckin’ ‘Ell It’s Fred Titmus

[Brummie999]

Or of course the Macc Lads

 No Sheep 'til Buxton
Beer & Sex & Chips 'n' Gravy
Sweaty Betty

[mr.bluesky]

My dingaling- Chuck Berry

[WARSZAWA16]

Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini.

Also brings back memories of a suitably attired stripper I saw one Saturday afternoon in the 1980's in a big pub in Liverpool. A great performance in front of about 300 blokes.   

[Watts.E.Dunn]

This is maybe the weirdest one;!

"Transfusion"  Nervous Norvous;!

Enjoy...

External Link/Members Only

[timsussex]

How could you believe me when I said I loved you when you know I've been a liar all my life

[Thephoenix]

Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini.

Also brings back memories of a suitably attired stripper I saw one Saturday afternoon in the 1980's in a big pub in Liverpool. A great performance in front of about 300 blokes.

That'll be the lunchtime strippers at The Bier Keller, also known as The Hofbrauhaus.

[standardpostage]

Hold On I'm Coming. By Sam and Dave. 1966 

[SpaceRaiderDave]

There are some really good country music ones.
My favourite is “She Got the Goldmine (I Got the Shaft)”

For those unfamiliar with the genre here are some more country song titles
  Ever Since I Said "I Do," There's a Lot of Things You Don't
  Guess My Eyes Were Bigger Than My Heart
  Her Body Couldn't Keep You Off My Mind
  I Bought the Boots That Just Walked Out On Me
  I Can't Love Your Body If Your Heart's Not In It
  I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
  I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me
  I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart.
  I Hate Every Bone In Your Body Except Mine
  I Knew I'd Hit Rock Bottom When I Woke Up On Top Of You
  I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well
  I Married Her Just Because She Looks Like You
  I Wish I Were In Dixie Tonight, But She's Out Of Town
  I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win
  I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy
  If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
  If She Puts Lipstick On My Dipstick I'll Fall In Love
  If Whiskey Were A Woman I'd Be Married For Sure
  If You Don't Believe I Love You Just Ask My Wife
  If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Go And Find Someone Else Who Will
  I'll Get Over You As Soon As You Get Out From Under Him
  I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like Having You Here
  It Takes Me All Night Long To Do What I Used To Do All Night Long
  I've Got You on My Conscience But At Least You're Off My Back
  My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart
  She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
  She's Out Doing What I'm Here Doing Without
  Swing Wide Your Gate Of Love
  The Next Time You Throw That Fryin' Pan, My Face Ain't Gonna Be There
  We Used to Just Kiss on the Lips But Now It's All Over
  You Were Only A Splinter As I Slid Down The Bannister Of Life
  You're The Reason Our Baby's So Ugly

[Kingy28]

Two pints of lager & a packet of crisps
Splodgenessabounds

[ik8133]

"I'm a wanker" by Ivor Biggun

External Link/Members Only

[Gordon Bennett]

"I'm a wanker" by Ivor Biggun

External Link/Members Only

Is actually called the Winker's Song I think.

Didn't Ivor Biggun have a mainstream BBC career as one of the presenting team on Esther Rantzen's massively popular That's Life show? He was Doc Cox. Man's obsessed with willy based material it seems.

[ik8133]

Is actually called the Winker's Song I think.

Didn't Ivor Biggun have a mainstream BBC career as one of the presenting team on Esther Rantzen's massively popular That's Life show? He was Doc Cox. Man's obsessed with willy based material it seems.

Yes, you are right on both accounts, it was called the Winker's Song and he was on That's Life as well as Doc Cox

[daviemac]

Is actually called the Winker's Song I think.

Didn't Ivor Biggun have a mainstream BBC career as one of the presenting team on Esther Rantzen's massively popular That's Life show? He was Doc Cox. Man's obsessed with willy based material it seems.

George Formby - Im a wanker
External Link/Members Only

[Marmalade]

How I Wrote Elastic Man — The Fall
We Don't Play Guitars — Chicks on Speed
But these are mostly funny if you know the songs.
Will try to do better. Phoenix kind of smashed it!

[Moby Dick]

A penis, a penis, the greatest gift that I posses
I thank the Lord that I've been blessed
With more than my share of a penis
To me this old world is a wonderful place…

[Moby Dick]

Fat bottom girls,

Used to ride around on me chopper singing this in the seventies.

Oh you gonna take me home tonight
Oh down beside that red fire light
Oh you gonna let it all hang out
Fat-bottomed girls you make the rocking world go round…

Blah blah blah

Oh, you gonna take me home tonight
Oh, down beside that red fire light
Oh, you gonna let it all hang out
Fat-bottomed girls you make the rocking world go round
Fat-bottomed girls you make the rocking world go round

Get on your bikes and ride

Hidden Image/Members Only

[Moby Dick]

Shut up your face

What's-a matter you? Hey! Gotta no respect?
What-a you t'ink you do, why you look-a so sad?
It's-a not so bad, it's-a nice-a place
Ah shaddap-a you face!

[Thephoenix]

A penis, a penis, the greatest gift that I posses
I thank the Lord that I've been blessed
With more than my share of a penis
To me this old world is a wonderful place…

Beat you to it....keep up!
I think Ken Dodd knew what it would sound like.

[Thephoenix]

Is actually called the Winker's Song I think.

Didn't Ivor Biggun have a mainstream BBC career as one of the presenting team on Esther Rantzen's massively popular That's Life show? He was Doc Cox. Man's obsessed with willy based material it seems.

Ivor Biggun (alternated with Bob Down) is my usual choice when filling in those forms at the massage places.

[Thephoenix]

There are some really good country music ones.
My favourite is “She Got the Goldmine (I Got the Shaft)”

For those unfamiliar with the genre here are some more country song titles
  Ever Since I Said "I Do," There's a Lot of Things You Don't
  Guess My Eyes Were Bigger Than My Heart
  Her Body Couldn't Keep You Off My Mind
  I Bought the Boots That Just Walked Out On Me
  I Can't Love Your Body If Your Heart's Not In It
  I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
  I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me
  I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart.
  I Hate Every Bone In Your Body Except Mine
  I Knew I'd Hit Rock Bottom When I Woke Up On Top Of You
  I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well
  I Married Her Just Because She Looks Like You
  I Wish I Were In Dixie Tonight, But She's Out Of Town
  I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win
  I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy
  If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
  If She Puts Lipstick On My Dipstick I'll Fall In Love
  If Whiskey Were A Woman I'd Be Married For Sure
  If You Don't Believe I Love You Just Ask My Wife
  If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Go And Find Someone Else Who Will
  I'll Get Over You As Soon As You Get Out From Under Him
  I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like Having You Here
  It Takes Me All Night Long To Do What I Used To Do All Night Long
  I've Got You on My Conscience But At Least You're Off My Back
  My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart
  She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
  She's Out Doing What I'm Here Doing Without
  Swing Wide Your Gate Of Love
  The Next Time You Throw That Fryin' Pan, My Face Ain't Gonna Be There
  We Used to Just Kiss on the Lips But Now It's All Over
  You Were Only A Splinter As I Slid Down The Bannister Of Life
  You're The Reason Our Baby's So Ugly

Some little beauties there.

[hornypunter]

Sultans of Ping FC " Wheres me jumper."

[Moby Dick]

We're having a gang bang
We're having a ball
We're having a gang bang
Against the wall
We'd like you to join us
It's part of the fun!
Oh a gang bang is the thing to do
But it takes more than one

 

[mr.bluesky]

Not a funny song title as such but I remember the Smokie/ Roy Chubby Brown version of Living next door to Alice ( who the fuck's Alice ? )

[WDFORTE]

BloodhoundGang - A lap dance is so much better when the stripper is crying.

[Bertiebeenthere]

Werewolves of London - Warren Zevon

If I'd shot you when I first met you,  I'd be out of jail by now - Frank Serafino

[Marmalade]

If I'd shot you when I first met you,  I'd be out of jail by now - Frank Serafino

That gave me a laugh. 

I’m not a country fan but I looked it up and quite enjoyed listening to it.

In an effort to contribute to the thread, I tried to find some more.
She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy – Kenny Chesney
I Brake For Brunettes - Rhett Akins
Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off – Joe Nichols
(best I found)

- - - -

Most country & western and also blues songs are for men, sometimes gently humourous even though they’re objectifying women. Whereas the female version is along the long lines of “he beat me, left me, don’t come home at night … but still I love him.” Duh! Two thousand years of women willingly and somewhat stupidly putting up with second place then whining about it. There was a very funny song by a protest singer called External Link/Members Only that turned it on its head in a good-natured humourous way. I lost the album so if anyone can tell me what it was please let me know.
Lesbian with a nice voice and quite pretty back in the day, and not part of the ‘ant-men’ crowd.

[WARSZAWA16]

Can your pussy do the dog? - The Cramps:
External Link/Members Only

[Mrcambridge69]

Not songs but album titles by Blink 182:
Enema of the state
Take of your pants and jacket

I do love a good pun/innuendo

[Marmalade]

Can your pussy do the dog? - The Cramps:
External Link/Members Only

That was brilliant! Saw them live.

[Arfa2stroke]

Anything by Faye Richmonde

Tony’s got hot nuts
Sadie's still got the rag on
My pussy belongs to daddy
The swelling of the organ and the coming of the bride

To name a few

[spiralnotebook]

The more I drink the better she looks - Engine.

[badsin]

Or of course the Macc Lads

 No Sheep 'til Buxton
Beer & Sex & Chips 'n' Gravy
Sweaty Betty

Dan's underpants