Yoyo Chinese massage. 55 Castle St, High Wycombe

[clittielicker]

External Link/Members Only

Chinese Massage  55 Castle Street  High Wycombe  07999 762389

I found the ad on viva street and messaged to ask rates and availability. I arranged to get there around 17.15, I kept them notified I would be a few minutes late and was told it was ok. I arrived and was taken downstairs to the basement, when we got there her hands were all over me groping my crotch, so I agreed to 1 hour at £45 and she went to stash the cash. She left saying she would be back in 10 minutes, my reaction was upset but accepted as I was a little bit late due to traffic. Yoyo returned around 15 minutes later and quickly wanted to discuss b2b, after haggling we agreed b2b with rev oral at £50. Yoyo demanded cash first, so paid up with a smile. So off with her kit and a bit of groping and onto the table on my back ready for her to sit on my face.

 IT ALL GOES DOWNHILL FROM NOW

Just starting to get going and she wants to stop as someone is at the door upstairs as she can see on the cctv screen in the room downstairs. She got off to go upstairs then changed her mind  and resumed the face sitting position. Yoyo has got the smelliest minge I have ever had the misfortune to smell. We are 15 minutes into the 1 hour and she made me come, then she jumps up saying she needs to go up to the door  as someone is on the screen again. When she returned I was face down on the table wanting a firm massage for the remaining 45 minutes. She jumped up onto the table and ran her hands up my back so softly despite me saying I wanted firm. She pressed my back like she was trying to revive someone's loss of breathing. I stopped her and demanded she give a firm massage, still it was very poor. I stopped her again and pointed out I had been there 20 minutes and if she returns money I will leave straight away. Having paid £45+ £50 I asked for £35 back, I know I should have asked for more as she agreed and returned £35 straight away.

Summing up this one is all happy and friendly at the start then turns it all round to a crap service, with a real smelly minge and does the worst massage I have ever experienced. Premises are run down to say the least, and I would never return here again.

[nobbycars]

Shouldn't this be in South East massage.

[scutty brown]

already moved

[Torhandle]

Would be helpful to have a description of the SP.  Was Yoyo small, tall, skinny or fat, breast size etc please?

[clittielicker]

So you want info on someone who has been such a poor visit, ok, she was about 5ft 6, carrying a few extra pounds (not alone), very happy chatty and a real lack of English speaking, I seen the bra size was 36 and they looked a lot nicer when covered, maybe the cuddly belly accounted for that. When someone is asking for a hard massage and delivers a piss poor very soft crap massage it tends to highlight the lack of English. As I left I said she was the worst I had ever visited and would now go somewhere else for a real massage, and the reply was thank you with a dumb smile as she does not even know what I said. When I was asking for money back I had to do this on her phone with a translate app, she was not amused at me asking for £35 to be returned but agreed very quickly as I think she had someone else upstairs waiting in the other room. Now if you are looking for the details to avoid her then I may understand as she could change her name in a few seconds and be anyone else.

With regards to the other comment about should this not be in the south east, that is correct and I thought that was where I placed it. I did look after submitting and it was not there and assumed it may be checked before being able to view. As I am very much on the border of London / south East, bang on the M25 it means I jump from one list to the other. I will pay more attention in future and hope that this never happens again.

[scutty brown]

you actually posted it in the southwest board, but don't worry about it: mistakes happen and it was easily fixed

[Torhandle]

Much appreciated CL - the details do help to avoid crap SPs. 

[clittielicker]

Sorry about the sarcasm I thought you liked smelly women and to have your time interrupted by others at the door while she goes to speak to her next victim, sorry I meant client. 

All was looking great until I went down to the Y and I thought I was going to vomit, maybe I was saved by the doorbell, could have been an unhappy punter coming back. I was so taken by her false smile and chatty manners when really she could not understand simple English.