External Link/Members OnlyLocation - Smithdown Road, L15. Good parlour with working shower and looked recently renovated.
Comms - Walk in appointment no problem.
Price - £35 for the hour (had an offer on google). No extras offered.
Girl - Slim but ugly as fuck. 40's with a cock eye/blind/turn in one eye. She said she's the boss and used to work in Siam in Allerton. Her name was Korfuh or something. Appalling attitude, aggressive, no effort.
Enjoyed the last massage that much I decided that i'd have another one seeing as the discount offer was on - big mistake. Weirdest, most awkward massage I've ever had.
Booked an appointment and when I got to the place I pulled out my phone and asked if the discount offer is still on. I'm asked if I've been there before, I say yes, I'm then asked if I left a review because the discount only applies to people who have left a review (WTF?), so I say yes I've left a review (I hadn't, I'm not in the habit of leaving a public digital trail wherever I go). I hand over my cash and wait for my change, as her begrudging arm reaches towards me I'm asked if I want medium or hard massage so I say hard. I'm then told that hard will be £5 extra because it is a sports massage so I say medium will be fine.
I'm then ordered to go into room 2 and wait, I go in and stand around bollock naked because the bed is covered in the usual Thai pillow shit so I'm left waiting like that for about 5 minutes until the cock eyed masseuse decides to come in and clear it, once done I pop on the bed, the massage begins and this is were it went weird...
As I'm lying face down enjoying the pressure on my legs she asks where I left a review to which I replied google and she then pulls her phone out to check! She wants to know my name so I give her a fake one and she starts searching for it and obviously can't find it because it doesn't exist. After a very awkward 5 minutes of this she gives up, I hear a big huff as she throws her phone across the room.
Now I like a hard massage but this was over the top. She starts to aggressively walk all over my back really digging her heels into me, she only weighs about 8 stone so I can take it but what she did from then on was focus on the belly of a muscle such as calf and then literally attack the same place as hard as she could. I had to ask her 3 times to go lighter because it was hurting me and it was only when I told her that I would leave her a negative review for being too aggressive, this pulls her back into line.
The rest of the massage can best be described as a cold war, she's doing her job half arsed, I'm lying there not enjoying it. Every time there is knock at the door she gets up to answer it, this happened about 5 times... I was thinking about complaining about this but to tell you the truth, it was kind of a relief when the hour was up. At the end, I helped myself to a shower just to piss her off and left a wet towel for her.
No extra's offered but nor did I ask. However, I do have to admit I probably would have accepted a hand job just for the comedy value it but she probably would've snapped my dick off.
There's your fucking review you misanthropic, cock-eyed cunt.
