External Link/Members Only£60 for 30 mins
Ok, so where to start.
This was my first punt back after the pandemic and, having also had a massage with HE (previously reviewed as neutral), I left thinking that it might be my last.
I've been to Xiang's a couple of times before, both positive and clearly some time back. So, I was optimistic it would be a safe bet on a positive return (to the SP and to punting).
Comms:
Very easy to get the booking.
I should have seen a worrying vagueness when I asked who I would be seeing - "Maybe Xiang, maybe a girl*".
Despite this, I confirmed £60 for 30 mins, was given the street and postcode and, when I texted on arrival was given the house number and told to come straight in.
The action:
As I walked in, I was greeted by a woman who I'd put somewhere in her late 30s, so *not a girl. It had been a while, so I couldn't remember what Xiang looked like. I didn't ask for names, just followed her upstairs.
30 mins confirmed, money handed over and I started to strip as she took the money away.
When she came back, we got into some light kissing, removal of her clothes and mine.
The SP had a bit of a tummy on her, but was otherwise in decent shape. Nice T&A.
I laid her on her back and kissed my way down, was told "gentle" on the tits (which is fine) and eventually started on the RO.
I was told no fingers (again, absolutely fine), but here is where things slid. I kept having to push her legs wide enough to get my face in, repeatedly, and her responses were the worst I've ever had - "yes, good" on repeat - but I could actually see her face and she might as well have been watching TV, something extremely boring on TV. Ok, so not everyone's technique is to everyone's taste, but there was zero effort until she noticed I could see her and she upped her efforts to what could almost be described as "half arsed".
Next, I laid on the bed and she started to haggle for OWO, despite the fact I kept telling her I wasn't interested and that I wanted her to sit on my face (she tasted nice and fresh and I thought the change in position might alter the closing legs issue).
Eventually she accepted I wasn't going to cough up the extra and sat on my face for a while.
Then, having already got the condom out during the previous haggling, she proceeded to put it on me - despite the fact I wasn't at this point hard.
I decided it was time for sex and the boy got hard, so I checked the condom was in place properly before lying her on her back and heading in - but not before she walloped in an indecent amount of lube.
Despite the lack of friction and probably because of my long time lack of action, things didn't last long, and she finished with a poor effort of a massage (not that I came for a massage), during which she started quizzing me on my marital status etc. To be honest at this point I was planning my journey home, which shops I’d go to, etc, I was that done with the whole thing.
As we got dressed, more questions, including my name and where I lived. Yeah, right, like I'm going to give you that.
Only on the way out did I ask her name (simply for the purposes of this review), and it was Nana.
I'm really glad I didn't ask at the start, because I've had my nana's face stuck in my head ever since.
