Wives and partners dont have a clue about REAL punting !!!

[Taggart]

Was with a mixed group in a bar & restaurant last night that also has one of these well known hotel chains attached.

The appearance of a reasonably attractive female (I'd rate 7 on a scale to 10) aged about 30 came in, kissed the guy at the bar, drinks were ordered and they disappered in the direction of the rooms.

Around 90 mins later, there was a repeat of her appearance, but this time she sat down near us, tapped a few things in her phone, a man appeared, and they disappeared towards the rooms - again.

One of the ladies in our party said "I reckon she's a hooker", which kicked off a whole new topic of conversation, one I found a little uncomfortable as a 'participant' in such activities, but was also enthralled by the utter stereotypical knowledge of the rest of the group who mad such comments as:

You know prostitutes dont kiss, and oral sex is always with a condom
They dont let you do much to them, it's a quickie and you are on your way
What, no touching or fingers?
She wont strip off, just pull her knickers to one side
Half the time they just jerk the guy off
Everything's with a johnny, so they dont catch or spread anything. You'd never catch one sucking a guy without.
Oh, she'll have a pimp in the car park, look for the posey black blinged up X5.
You can alway spot a pro, they wear ankle chains and have big earrings


It was incredibly difficult to say anything without alerting anyone that what they were saying was total bollocks, and having sex with a WG can be considerably more fulfilling than a wife or partner, and usually involves lots of kissing, fingering, gving them oral, cumming on face or in mouth, and if you really are lucky, up the bum fun too. All the ingredents for a D.I.V.O.R.C.E.

As you can imagine, I said very little in order not to incriminate myself. Make me realise how vanilla many of my friends relationships proably are, and they need to get out more.

Anyone else expereiced anything similar?

[Matium]

Yes but always run with the herd.

If a punter is with a group of people and they're mouthing off against prostitutes it's best to either hold his tongue or join in.

The last thing anyone should ever do in such an environment is either to be pro-prostitutes or soft on prostitutes in case people start wondering about him and then it'll certainly get back to his wife/girlfriend.

It's hypocritical to be sure but totally the right thing to do since all an aggrieved wife has to do is cry in front of judge, point her finger at her husband then whisper in a hoarse voice "he uses prostitutes" and she'll get the house, car, bank account, pension and be so bloody minded as to deny him the right to see either her or the children again.

So for a punter when in a witch hunt, it's best for him to join in.

[yorkshire123]

At least she didn't come over to you and say "nice to see you again Mr Taggart, i didn't know you had a booking for today"   

[Taggart]

Yes agreed. That's why I said little but nodded a lot.
Paris B and Mumsnet aside, most OHs have no clue of the power of the net. And long may it continue!

[Matium]

The appearance of a reasonably attractive female (I'd rate 7 on a scale to 10) aged about 30 came in, kissed the guy at the bar, drinks were ordered and they disappered in the direction of the rooms.

Around 90 mins later, there was a repeat of her appearance, but this time she sat down near us, tapped a few things in her phone, a man appeared, and they disappeared towards the rooms - again.

Did you recognise the girl?

Who was she?

 

[wristjob]

You know prostitutes dont kiss, and oral sex is always with a condom
They dont let you do much to them, it's a quickie and you are on your way
What, no touching or fingers?
She wont strip off, just pull her knickers to one side
Half the time they just jerk the guy off
Everything's with a johnny, so they dont catch or spread anything. You'd never catch one sucking a guy without.
Oh, she'll have a pimp in the car park, look for the posey black blinged up X5.
You can alway spot a pro, they wear ankle chains and have big earrings

Seems they've been reading %%%

[threechilliman]

I'd be surprised if a WG kept coming to the bar to greet each client. Quickest way to get spotted imo. Most girls will give room no and you meet them there - much more discrete....

tcm

[k]

  The way to appear naive (a good thing in such situations) is to say that she doesn't look like any other rugby player you've seen before.

[jcdmj12]

In situations like these, it is far better to stay silent and look like an idiot, than to open your mouth and remove any doubt.

[JV547845]

Yeah I play dumb too.  The WAGs I know are convinced sex trafficing is really common too.  Who the hell wants to pay to sleep with a poor wretch who's been sex trafficed when we can go with a former porn star, a nice english country housewife or student next door?

[k]

I suspect some of these people know a bit more than they're letting on.  They're waiting for someone to put forward a morsel to latch onto.

[Matium]

It's a case of follow the leader with the first person slipping up being stabbed in the back.

Every punter needs to know how to put on a stupid face so that his wife will always think that he's far too gormless to ever go to prostitutes.

[k]

It might be an idea to compile a comprehensive list of gormless "observations" that could be used if silence is deemed not to be the safest option: as in:- "Hey xyz you're very quiet today, what do you think [and then the killer question] have you ever visited a prostitute?"

[yorkshire123]

It's a case of follow the leader with the first person slipping up being stabbed in the back.

Every punter needs to know how to put on a stupid face so that his wife will always think that he's far too gormless to ever go to prostitutes.

Not a problem for me 

[webpunter]

[and then the killer question] have you ever visited a prostitute?"

Better to distract the convo.  So like the answer could be - "you're having a laugh.  Why would i want to pay for sex when i've shagged loads of women ?"
And do NOT under under circumstances utter the phrase 'shagging CIVVIES' 

[k]

Better to distract the convo.  So like the answer could be - "you're having a laugh.  Why would i want to pay for sex when i've shagged loads of women ?"
And do NOT under under circumstances utter the phrase 'shagging CIVVIES' 

That's when your wife kicks you in the nuts.  The correct answer IMHO is:-

"you're having a laugh.  Why would i want to pay for sex when i've got my dear Emily*"

*Insert correct name here.  Kick in nuts offer also applies if a different name is used in error.

Everyone (of both sexes) then go "Awwwww, bless" and then the topic straight away changes to "how long is it now?  When you gonna start turning out sprogs?"

[willbred]

Was with a mixed group in a bar & restaurant last night that also has one of these well known hotel chains attached.

The appearance of a reasonably attractive female (I'd rate 7 on a scale to 10) aged about 30 came in, kissed the guy at the bar, drinks were ordered and they disappered in the direction of the rooms.

Around 90 mins later, there was a repeat of her appearance, but this time she sat down near us, tapped a few things in her phone, a man appeared, and they disappeared towards the rooms - again.

One of the ladies in our party said "I reckon she's a hooker", which kicked off a whole new topic of conversation, one I found a little uncomfortable as a 'participant' in such activities, but was also enthralled by the utter stereotypical knowledge of the rest of the group who mad such comments as:

You know prostitutes dont kiss, and oral sex is always with a condom
They dont let you do much to them, it's a quickie and you are on your way
What, no touching or fingers?
She wont strip off, just pull her knickers to one side
Half the time they just jerk the guy off
Everything's with a johnny, so they dont catch or spread anything. You'd never catch one sucking a guy without.
Oh, she'll have a pimp in the car park, look for the posey black blinged up X5.
You can alway spot a pro, they wear ankle chains and have big earrings


It was incredibly difficult to say anything without alerting anyone that what they were saying was total bollocks, and having sex with a WG can be considerably more fulfilling than a wife or partner, and usually involves lots of kissing, fingering, gving them oral, cumming on face or in mouth, and if you really are lucky, up the bum fun too. All the ingredents for a D.I.V.O.R.C.E.

As you can imagine, I said very little in order not to incriminate myself. Make me realise how vanilla many of my friends relationships proably are, and they need to get out more.

Anyone else expereiced anything similar?

Yes, mate. About 3 years ago when I gave my missus a lift to a coffee morning where a load of misguided naive middle age women were busy raising money to save every prossie on the planet from the seedy degrading existence they lived in. I only stopped for a quick cuppa but I tell you my tongue was bleeding after cos I had to bite it with the sheer stereotypical bollocks I was hearing.

They raisedf

[Aspen]

It's hypocritical to be sure but totally the right thing to do since all an aggrieved wife has to do is cry in front of judge, point her finger at her husband then whisper in a hoarse voice "he uses prostitutes" and she'll get the house, car, bank account, pension and be so bloody minded as to deny him the right to see either her or the children again.

They do that anyway. I know a solicitor who works for a firm of family lawyers and she told me that it always works when they want to sway a judge in their favour, and there's no effective defence because who can ever prove they don't do that. Just the implication is sufficient.

[k]

They do that anyway. I know a solicitor who works for a firm of family lawyers and she told me that it always works when they want to sway a judge in their favour, and there's no effective defence because who can ever prove they don't do that. Just the implication is sufficient.

That sounds like a challenge!  If all of your money goes into a joint bank account and you can account for all your withdrawals then where does your punting money come from? 

The only way she can then prove otherwise is to state that you've been doing jobs on the side for cash. 

Rationally the woman would not go down that route, because if she did then a full-blown tax investigation would be guaranteed to follow.  Unfortunately spouses often have a purely vindictive agenda and will even jeopardise their own living standards to exact revenge on you.  The fact that her kids (they are no longer considered to be "yours" according to her) will as a consequence suffer no longer matters.

[JV547845]

there's no effective defence because who can ever prove they don't do that. Just the implication is sufficient.

They've created a situation then, where you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.  So apart from getting caught, noone has anything to lose by punting.

[k]

I was given some freebie advice from a top divorce lawyer in the city many years ago.  He told me that your standard of living had to be respected in whatever settlement was agreed, so if you had kids then wherever you lived had to be suitable for them to come and visit you, so you had to live in a place with bedrooms where they could sleep. 

Carrying that principle forward, if your bank account records show that historically you are taking money out for your "reasonable living expenses", then surely you are still entitled to that same budget?  The fact that your monthly visits to BigBoobsBertha are embedded in that expenditure is not something you should need to itemise out as it has never been regarded as "shared income" historically.  Your spouse has never benefited from it and why should she start to benefit from it in the future?

Edit: This may seem contradictory to what I said earlier, but what I am saying is that you can go down one of two paths: if you feel you can substantiate all your expenditure then you go down the route of declaring all of it in great detail.  If you can't, or if you don't have a joint account then you can attempt the second route.

[webpunter]

They've created a situation then, where you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.  So apart from getting caught, noone has anything to lose by punting.

+1 abso-fucking-lutely.  Just make sure not to get caught
The thrill of the [small] risk involved does get the heart beating.  When i've not met an AW girlie before there is the excitement of whats she going to be like when she stands behind the door & opens it.  And at the back of my mind is it a B&S / worse ?  Thanks to UKP no fuck-ups / bad punts

[what-a man]

Yes but always run with the herd.

If a punter is with a group of people and they're mouthing off against prostitutes it's best to either hold his tongue or join in.

The last thing anyone should ever do in such an environment is either to be pro-prostitutes or soft on prostitutes in case people start wondering about him and then it'll certainly get back to his wife/girlfriend.

It's hypocritical to be sure but totally the right thing to do since all an aggrieved wife has to do is cry in front of judge, point her finger at her husband then whisper in a hoarse voice "he uses prostitutes" and she'll get the house, car, bank account, pension and be so bloody minded as to deny him the right to see either her or the children again.

 

 

[rubric]

It's a case of follow the leader with the first person slipping up being stabbed in the back.

Absolutely. Women in this respect are far far more conservative than men amongst themselves, probably because conformity is the order of the day in women only social circles, and any deviation from the norm is punished by socially.

[brightperv]

You never know all the males there could been the the same boat as you and trying to appear naive. Maybe the girls where meant be appearing as naive to, maybe they where all on the game but did not what to let on?

[Sparquin]

I am moved to ask if it is better that they do not know what it is about? Ignorance might be bliss, methinks.

[Aspen]

They've created a situation then, where you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.  So apart from getting caught, noone has anything to lose by punting.

In that sense that is correct.

The point is that the mere mention of any connection with prostitution is sufficient to sway judges in favour of the wife regardless of any evidence or lack of. How do you "prove" you have never visited a prostitute? It's an impossibility, and that's what those lawyers rely on. Throw enough shit and some of it will stick.

[Boundless]

Absolutely agree with all of the above.

I work with a guy who said to me the other day, Here, did you know that there's a knocking shop at ****, maybe we should go for a couple of pints and go there one night. This is a parlour that i've used a few times when desperate for a quick shag. I found it hard to know what to say, I'm pretty sure that he's been to parlours before when away from home with mates and was just testing me out. He's not the most discrete bloke I know so I'm keeping it under wraps.

It's a need to know basis, me, the WG and UKP
Thank God for UKP I say!

[doc14]

If lost what to say or keeping quiet and asked if you have ever used a prostitute say to your wife / girlfriend " you seem to know a lot about this my dear, something you want to tell me?"

[JR]

Have to echo Sam55 above, thank (insert deity of choice) for UKP
Somewhere on here I read someone saying 'it's not the sort of thing you can discuss with family/friends/down the pub' hence the need for this forum.
For what its worth, this is the ONLY forum I am a member of for the reason that almost all other subjects I can have conversations about face to face with family/fr.... etc

[CBPaul]

The topic has come up a couple of times with mates at the pub, the tricky thing is matching your contribution to the conversation with that normally expected of you. Opting out and saying nothing is suspicious if you usually have plenty to say.

Many years ago when I was wondering if there was a local rld someone started a conversation about that exact topic, I sat quietly and took mental notes, planning that evenings activities.