Marriage

[Snagbadjer]

Semi-hypothetical question for you guys.

If I were genuinely looking at settling down and marrying a woman, in particular a foreign lady, are there any respectable, reliable or noteworthy agencies or websites - or just ways - of going about that?

I know people who have found long-term partners on Tinder, but I don't like that option, so am trying to brainstorm other options before I run out of time (I'm in my thirties).

I was just wondering if there are ways and means of doing it? I can't see myself settling down with anyone in the 'traditional' way, as I don't go out socialising anymore and the dating apps have only yielded casual hook ups.

Looking for ideas and inspiration. Thanks, guys.

[WelshClipper]

Can't see you getting a lot of help on here mate but good luck with your endeavours.

For me, as an institution , marriage sucks. It is way too restrictive on the naturally polygymous nature of a male.

No disrespect to any happily married men, just my POV.

[Steely Dan]

I think the starter (which you don't need to answer here) is how much money do you have to spend on finding her, and how much money do you have (yearly) to support her? 

If you want to spend nothing (like most of us), and you want her to contribute to the yearly cost (like many of us) then you pretty much need to do the hard work with a British girl on tinder or your local church or similar.

If you have money, then pick one of the high priced agencies.  Even for those, you need to start with a country of origin.

[willie loman]

I think the starter (which you don't need to answer here) is how much money do you have to spend on finding her, and how much money do you have (yearly) to support her? 

If you want to spend nothing (like most of us), and you want her to contribute to the yearly cost (like many of us) then you pretty much need to do the hard work with a British girl on tinder or your local church or similar.

If you have money, then pick one of the high priced agencies.  Even for those, you need to start with a country of origin.

sound advice,

[lillythesavage]

Can't see you getting a lot of help on here mate but good luck with your endeavours.

For me, as an institution , marriage sucks. It is way too restrictive on the naturally polygymous nature of a male.

No disrespect to any happily married men, just my POV.

The answer is to find a woman who likes to play too, had 25 years of fun with my 2nd, she was under no illusion from the start, the menopause put a stop to it.


As for marrying through an agency, no way Jose, friends have married Thai women by going there to find a wife, one extremely successfully but he moved there, one was ok until she went home to die, long distance legal battle in progress, the whole thing is a minefield.

My advice is put some effort in at home, not looking for easy options ,if you really want to cut your nuts off 

[ik8133]

You could try Seeking or Secret Benefits, some girls on there are just looking to be treated nice.

Good luck with your endeavours, what ever route you try.

[Ghost89]

Why would you want to tie yourself down with one vagina? And secondly see previous sentence.
I had 21 years of happiness….then I met my wife.

[JontyR]

I know people who have found long-term partners on Tinder, but I don't like that option, so am trying to brainstorm other options before I run out of time (I'm in my thirties).

30's? You don't run out of time until you die. If you do want some early 20's totty then you are probably going to be disappointed. One thing about the age though is that the older you get the less likely you are to meet someone that hasn't had a relationship break down that has caused some kind of emotional trauma. Doesn't mean it can't happen or that their ability to deal with it is acceptable but it is a thing.

I was just wondering if there are ways and means of doing it? I can't see myself settling down with anyone in the 'traditional' way, as I don't go out socialising anymore and the dating apps have only yielded casual hook ups.

Well if you don't seemingly have any outside interests then you are probably going to come across as pretty boring.

My suggestion is try and work out what kind of woman you want. And then work out where women like that are likely to be. If this is online are they likely to be on Tinder...or is another app or site more likely for the woman of your dreams.

Or just go out and join some clubs or activities rather than looking for a woman. The whiff of desperation is not a scent that attracts. The whiff of a self-confident bloke joining in is. Dance classes for example. Loads of women, very few blokes.

Oh and if it is marriage or long term you are after...don't settle for something. Stick to the list of what you want.

Good luck.

[King Nuts]

Semi-hypothetical question for you guys.

If I were genuinely looking at settling down and marrying a woman, in particular a foreign lady, are there any respectable, reliable or noteworthy agencies or websites - or just ways - of going about that?

I know people who have found long-term partners on Tinder, but I don't like that option, so am trying to brainstorm other options before I run out of time (I'm in my thirties).

I was just wondering if there are ways and means of doing it? I can't see myself settling down with anyone in the 'traditional' way, as I don't go out socialising anymore and the dating apps have only yielded casual hook ups.

Looking for ideas and inspiration. Thanks, guys.

A dating or marriage agency is simply a means to an end. But do you know what the end is? Do you just want to get married or are there particular nationalities or races that you think would suit you best?

If you're in any big city, like London, and go on any decent dating site, you're going to come across all nationalities and races anyway. Last time I did it, admittedly a few years ago now, I met women from all over, like South Africa, Taiwan, Lebanon, Denmark, Ireland etc etc. On a regular dating site (as opposed to one that, for example, fixes up marriages to Thai women) I'd have thought you're more likely to find someone genuine and who wants the same thing.

[JamesKW]

Or just go out and join some clubs or activities rather than looking for a woman. The whiff of desperation is not a scent that attracts. The whiff of a self-confident bloke joining in is. Dance classes for example. Loads of women, very few blokes.

Oh and if it is marriage or long term you are after...don't settle for something. Stick to the list of what you want.

Good luck.

I know of cases where women have married men on Tinder but most dating sites have many more men than women and alot of women think they are full of men looking for a pump and dump (or so I have heard) Your advice about clubs is good you get alot more women than men at any kind of spiritual events,yoga etc,art classes,classical dance and meetup walks around the country (though these may tend towards the older side) also learning languages at nightschool.Stay away from any group that has sexual connotations (like the mention of the word Tantric for example) as you always get way more, or entirely men at these groups.Quite alot of old guys like the Phillipino girl and there is also house a young Ukrainian scheme (you may get a whole self made family here) I suspect some who have signed up to the scheme are thinking along these lines.

[JamesKW]

your local church or similar.

Very good, you always get way more women than men in churches

[JamesKW]

I was just wondering if there are ways and means of doing it? I can't see myself settling down with anyone in the 'traditional' way, as I don't go out socialising anymore and the dating apps have only yielded casual hook ups.

Looking for ideas and inspiration. Thanks, guys.

A fairly un traditional way is that you can always become a festival volunteer (practicularly every festival in the country is looking for unpaid volunteers who get free entry to work two or three eight hour shifts),you are there for at least five days, work with lots of different people and you will make friends, or just sitting around the campfire at night and you can get to see loads of top groups for free. Alot who go are on their own and looking to make friends,plenty of women as well as men do this.

[Home Alone]

Quite alot of old guys like the Phillipino girl and there is also house a young Ukrainian scheme (you may get a whole self made family here) I suspect some who have signed up to the scheme are thinking along these lines.

I'm sure I've read somewhere that the people in charge of the scheme to help accommodate Ukranian refugees are vetting applicants quite rigorously to ensure that no, erm, 'unsuitable'  applicants are approved.

[B4bcock]

I'm sure I've read somewhere that the people in charge of the scheme to help accommodate Ukranian refugees are vetting applicants quite rigorously to ensure that no, erm, 'unsuitable'  applicants are approved.

I hope you are right, HA.  These poor souls have had enough trauma over the last few months without having to fight off unwanted advances from creepy hosts/landlords.

Welcome back, by the way.

[Stevelondon]

Why do some folk feel the need to get married. As if not doing so makes them some kind of failure etc.
It’s as if it’s the be all and end all of everything.
I never thought of it like that. If it happened it happened if it didn’t it didn’t.

I just don’t get it.

[WelshClipper]

Why do some folk feel the need to get married. As if not doing so makes them some kind of failure etc.
It’s as if it’s the be all and end all of everything.
I never thought of it like that. If it happened it happened if it didn’t it didn’t.

I just don’t get it.

Neither do I, now.

But in the day (70's) I didn't know this world existed. 

[RedKettle]

A fairly un traditional way is that you can always become a festival volunteer (practicularly every festival in the country is looking for unpaid volunteers who get free entry to work two or three eight hour shifts),you are there for at least five days, work with lots of different people and you will make friends, or just sitting around the campfire at night and you can get to see loads of top groups for free. Alot who go are on their own and looking to make friends,plenty of women as well as men do this.

That is a great idea. Sounds good even without the possibility of hooking up.

[JamesKW]

Why do some folk feel the need to get married. As if not doing so makes them some kind of failure etc.
It’s as if it’s the be all and end all of everything.
I never thought of it like that. If it happened it happened if it didn’t it didn’t.

I just don’t get it.

Some folk I know have been married multiple times and still do it over and over again even though they lose plenty of cash each time.Many men may not want to get married but they do it because the O/H wants to,maybe it gives women a feeling of security in which to bring a family up in.I have known cases pension wise where those in longterm relationships have lost out big time when the partner dies because they werent married.

[JamesKW]

That is a great idea. Sounds good even without the possibility of hooking up.

Yes,I am definitely interested in doing it,most go for Glastonbury (which is the hardest to get)some just use it as a way of getting a ticket for a sold out festival,so dont turn up to do the shifts (I should imagine a big problem at Glastonbury so they are likley need alot of volunteers).You have to pay a deposit upfront (amount depends on festival) and you get it back once you have worked your shifts (two or three months after the festival).There are plenty of others that do it like Latitude,Isle of Wight,Reading/Leeds,Download and practicularly all of them.

[lillythesavage]

Why do some folk feel the need to get married. As if not doing so makes them some kind of failure etc.
It’s as if it’s the be all and end all of everything.
I never thought of it like that. If it happened it happened if it didn’t it didn’t.

I just don’t get it.

Being a push over in a relationship and having a conscience does not help, first one I did the decent thing, second one it took her 9 years and 1 cancellation until I ran out of excuses  .

Wanting to get married for the sake of it to some one you have not even met yet, is totally and utterly bonkers, but each to their own,

[shed]

Relationships in the early stages are held together by passion and lust for each other. Unfortunately in all relationships this never lasts more than a few months, if that. Some idiots call this love, which in my humble experience doesn't exist. Unless you have lived with each other since marriage through to old age. And experienced the the continuous minor ups and major downs. Hence few marriages these days have any longevity. I enjoy living on my own with my best friend 🐕 can do what I want when I want. I enjoy my own company and if anybody says to me they are looking to get married, my advice would be "DON'T", it's a waste of time and 💰 money.

[JamesKW]

I enjoy living on my own with my best friend 🐕 can do what I want when I want. I enjoy my own company and if anybody says to me they are looking to get married, my advice would be "DON'T", it's a waste of time and 💰 money.

I can enjoy all this within a marriage.

[shed]

I can enjoy all this within a marriage.

Lucky you then. I envy you   

[spiralnotebook]

Fuckin’ hell, I can’t even remember being in my 30’s!

 

[chrishornx]

I can enjoy all this within a marriage.

How do you live on your own within marriage?

[southcoastpunter]

How do you live on your own within marriage?

she lives at number 8, he at number 9?? (I did know of a couple who did exactly that!!)

[Jayjay1]

Semi-hypothetical question for you guys.

If I were genuinely looking at settling down and marrying a woman, in particular a foreign lady, are there any respectable, reliable or noteworthy agencies or websites - or just ways - of going about that?

Why foreign lady? There are dating tours in many country, where the person take you to places to pick up girls and share experience of whats the best way to impress a lady from that country, like culture, mentally etc

[shed]

she lives at number 8, he at number 9?? (I did know of a couple who did exactly that!!)

I know a couple who are married and have this separate living arrangement. Not adjacent to each other but within the same town. They meet couple times a week for a shag overnight in whoever's and then maybe just for dinner one evening. They say it feels like it was when they were courting. They say it works for them. He told me it also allows him to punt without having to make excuses to go out . Whether it will be long term who knows.

[Trumpet]

Why would you want to tie yourself down with one vagina? And secondly see previous sentence.
I had 21 years of happiness….then I met my wife.

Being tied to a vagina sounds quite good fun.
Not seen the service advertised though;)

[Rayray23k]

Marriage is so overrated. In this modern society, being married really means nothing. At the age of 40 and recently devorced my wife, I've never felt more like a free man.

[JamesKW]

How do you live on your own within marriage?

I have known couples that are married for long periods of time and live in separate countries.What I meant was that I can do what I want,whenever I want, I dont need to ask permission.

[lillythesavage]

How do you live on your own within marriage?

Quite easily, I have no plans to divorce, neither has she. We live close but apart,

Quite early menopause had affected her sex drive badly, she knew it was causing problems and we had the conversation, never been any problem discussing sex, we have played together and alone throughout and she knows I do now.

You really need to be honest about your sexuality and sex life before embarking on a commitment, some can, most cannot.

Problems only become major problems if you refuse to discuss them and just assume and look after yourself, if you discuss sex throughout your partnership and understand desires it does not have to end in a court.

Of course it is different strokes for different folks, but if you have no intention of being faithful and to explore your desires, why would you expect a partner not to .
I have read on here of people who knew, both doing there thing and it never getting mentioned, like I said, different strokes 

[PumpDump]

Semi-hypothetical question for you guys.

If I were genuinely looking at settling down and marrying a woman, in particular a foreign lady, are there any respectable, reliable or noteworthy agencies or websites - or just ways - of going about that?

I know people who have found long-term partners on Tinder, but I don't like that option, so am trying to brainstorm other options before I run out of time (I'm in my thirties).

I was just wondering if there are ways and means of doing it? I can't see myself settling down with anyone in the 'traditional' way, as I don't go out socialising anymore and the dating apps have only yielded casual hook ups.

Looking for ideas and inspiration. Thanks, guys.

Get a hobby, ideally something that women like doing, so that rules out joining a football team! Go to language classes, art class, something like that. You will meet women that way and much more effective that bars or clubs.

[tynetunnel]

One word:

Don’t 

[willie loman]

Get a hobby, ideally something that women like doing, so that rules out joining a football team! Go to language classes, art class, something like that. You will meet women that way and much more effective that bars or clubs.

that is true almost any social activity will have more women than men.

[WDFORTE]

Marriage is great I find. I wanted a foreign lady so answered an advert in the back of loot newspaper for an Italian women seeking an English man. Exchanged letters and phone calls  booked flight.  Met her January one year, married her March same year. 15 years later still together.

I punt because the women I see do things my wife won't.

[lillythesavage]

Marriage is great I find. I wanted a foreign lady so answered an advert in the back of loot newspaper for an Italian women seeking an English man. Exchanged letters and phone calls  booked flight.  Met her January one year, married her March same year. 15 years later still together.

I punt because the women I see do things my wife won't.

That is mad  , but not that unusual, a friend did very similar very successfully, another it caused nothing but grief.

Horses for courses, def. not for me though.

[Hobbit]

What is it that you want in marriage that you can't get in a relationship outside marriage?
If you think it's going to be intimate with sharing body, mind, and everything then you are mistaken.
Women have changed a lot over the years and a lot of them are pretty fucked up for many reasons.
Also, before marrying anyone, you need to make sure that you know how to deal with them, in terms of when they get upset, when they start nagging, when they start bringing things up from the past, the mood swings et cetera. It's not easy and it is an art to be able to manage all that.

[Thephoenix]

Also, before marrying anyone, you need to make sure that you know how to deal with them, in terms of when they get upset, when they start nagging, when they start bringing things up from the past, the mood swings et cetera. It's not easy and it is an art to be able to manage all that.

Yes it takes years of practice. ......(on both sides I must add)
But it can be worth it.
I've got my Mrs right where she wants me!

[Hobbit]

Yes it takes years of practice. ......(on both sides I must add)
But it can be worth it.
I've got my Mrs right where she wants me!

That's the problem, the things we do for pussy.