I found Issa on both Gumtree and Vivastreet but now when I was trying to find the ads for this review they are both gone.
Here is a google cache version instead
External Link/Members OnlyFees paid : 60£ for massage and HR
Comms: Texted her few days prior and received prompt replies and price included hand job. I like these ones since there is no negotiating involved later. Arranged an appointment for later.
The visit : I had just run a half marathon and needed a good proper massage and was not too keen on anything else sexual wise. Arrived at the arraned time and texted her. Told to be near a well known hotel. Then had to call her to get instructions to her flat.
The flat itself was a basement flat which was actually quite nice. Issa was in some sort of gym wear showing off her toned body and nice boobs and ass. I immediately felt that I was in for a treat. How wrong was I ?
Into her bedroom where there was a raised table + bed sort of contraption in the middle. It was not raised enough for a table and not big enough for a bed. Never seen this before. Anyway I am in and undressing when she is on her phone and asks me if I want topless. I was really not in the mood and didnt want to shell out more than 60 and wanted a decent massage and so declined topless with an excuse of no money. She then tried to say i can pay by card etc. Declined again.
Got naked and on to this bed table thing. I was wondering how she could actually massage using this. It jut didnt seem possible. Issa comes over and started what I can only describe as a massage procedure that one thinks is a massage but nowhere close and really an attempt at providing one by possibly looking at some videos on youtube. No proper technique and no strategy on where to start or how to progress. Hands were on legs one minute then on the neck.. it was hilarious watching her attempt at giving a massage she probably has never trained in her life. 5 mins in and she is already bored and says she can do topless for same money for 30 mins instead of an hour.
I really wanted a massage for an hour and now I am pissed. I can see why she wants to just end this process as quickly as possible because I am myself mystified how she can continue this massage procedure for one hour if she does not know how to fill in even 5 mins.
I politely decline and insist that I just need an hour massage. More attempts follow to provide a back rub and she is running out of ideas on how to fill the one hour. She is sat on that bed thingy now next to me and moving my legs around to make space for her fat ass to perch on and its getting uncomfortable for me to lay down. She is splashing oil wherever she can and trying to figure out where to massage next and spends an surprising amount of time massaging my hands! i really have lost all excitement and frankly any interest in this now. I should have found a thai provider instead. THe feeling of regret is coursing through my body when she says turn over.
No massage on the bum , no cc swipes and no naughty strokes, I cannot actually write down how disappointed I felt. I turn over and I feel something cold and wet on my knob and I open my eyes and it seems like she has wet wiped me, once again I think she has no clue what to do and might be hand jobbing me already. My suspicions are confirmed as she is back and splashing oil on my cock and starts yanking it about.
Being a girl I actually thought she might know a hand job and how to perform it based simply on some civvie experiences. But alas no. Its getting painful, she does not know how to give a hand job, my cock is complaining at this non sensual torture and I sigh deeply, close my eyes, think of the most recent porn I had watched and did my best to cum. She immediately cleans me up and runs out of room, is back after 5 mins and says it was nice seeing you. I am more disappointed now. I look at the time, it only been 40 mins. There is no way I can get any sort of massage from her anyway, I put on my clothes and bolt out of there as soon as I can.
My only thought as I make my way home is, why do these girls do this ? why put an ad saying you are fully trained and they are nothing but a disgrace to the proper massage providers who do their best to give a good massage for the entire one hour.
A big fat negative and avoid at all costs.
