Suspect this might turn into a "what is gay / what isn't gay" debate...
but my 2p worth....being gay is about WHO you do stuff with sexually, not WHAT you do. I know a couple of gay guys who wont have anything up their arse at all...but have no problems having guys suck them off or fuck other guys in the arse.
Your arsehole is a part of your body that some people get stimulated by when used sexually (either physically or mentally)...some don't. Each to their own. If you like it, great. If not, don't do it, but respect other people's tastes if they do. Shouldn't be any stigma associated with anything you or anyone else likes (within the 'law', obviously...)
....ear sex, though, is GROSS! ;-)