External Link/Members OnlyAfter my intense experience (see last review), I saw the same woman three times in ten days.
I felt a fourth visit ran the risk of looking creepy and a bit stalker-y, so I thought I’d see if there was hope elsewhere in town and was fooled by a well written advert and some nice photos.
HERE'S MY LIST OF BITTER REGRETS:
I drove all the way to fucking Hucknall for this. That’s miles away (unless you live there of course)
That’s an hour and a half round trip I won’t get back.
And it gave me ample time to reflect on how dismal the experience was cumulatively.
I stupidly thought maybe paying for an hour was the way forward.
And stupidly paid upfront for what boiled down to a lot of chat and a half hour of mediocre sex.
That’s money I won’t get back.
I paid for a worse sexual experience than pretty much any I’ve had at home. Which kind of defeats the whole point I'd say.
There’s few things more depressing to me than the obvious application of lube - she might as well have said ‘you really don’t turn me on at all’ (which obviously is probably true but Christ, use some subtlety).
And I guess if you have a punter you don’t fancy and want to get out the door, ride him reverse cowgirl so you don’t have to look at his ugly face, or heaven forbid kiss him, and then ignore his protestations to slow down so he comes quickly. That’s a crappy parlour experience.
She described it as a job she wants to leave - I want someone for whom this is a positive CALLING OF SLUTTINESS and in twenty years of pretty committed punting I think I’ve only met three.
But most of all I regret that I hoped that a paid-for sexual encounter with a stranger would in some way fill the massive aching emotional cravings for intimacy that I clearly have in my fucked-up psyche.
Maybe the way forward is to get completely out of my head on poppers like James and MOTC.
I’m not sure that will be enough; probably ample scope for regret on the way home there too.
God this is depressing. I am so fucking stupid.
Thank you for listening though.
To be fair, she seems nice, she’s very trim, beautifully attired in nice lingerie, and has by far the nicest bedroom I have ever been in outside a posh hotel.
This might well be what you want from a punt, but sadly its not what I want.
