Victor Meldrew Moments - I don't believe it!

[Billy no mates]

I have to admit as a sometimes cyclist I do use lights and put them on the flashing setting for the simple reason that you do get noticed more with a flashing light although to be honest I rarely use my bike during the dark winter months .

I certainly can’t complain about the visibility of the flashing lights, one cannot miss them. I suspect they are safer, but I enjoy complaining 

[Punterperson1971]

I certainly can’t complain about the visibility of the flashing lights, one cannot miss them. I suspect they are safer, but I enjoy complaining 

It’s the cyclists who go through a red light when they supposed to wait and people are trying to cross the road

[Jumping Jack Flash]

It’s not really a Meldrew moment, more a comment about how stupid some people are.

Lifts. Why do people stand right in front of the doors? They look shocked when the doors open and low & behold there are actually people in the lift that want to get off before they can get on. It’s basic common sense, stand to the side so you can let people get off before you can get on.

[radioman33]

Google Captcha asking me to prove I’m not a robot,just go away.
People shouting into mobile phones on public transport with earpieces in,just go away.

[WASA38]

Pet hates.

People not picking up pet dog shit, when their pet dog poos in public spaces 

and the people who do pick it up but then proceed to fling the bag into the hedgerow.

[Punterperson1971]

People parking across your drive or even on your drive had that happen a few times

[Watts.E.Dunn]

Even worse, cyclists who do have lights, but the lights flash at me like I’m at some west end night club.

Companies who cold call me, then ask me to confirm who I am by telling them my address, postcode, D.O.B etc. This actually happened yesterday, and I told the caller to do one.
 “who are you”
 “I’m an energy specialist”
“what do you want?”
 “I can’t tell you till you confirm who you are”
“you called me !!”

I heard a mate of mine who shall we say speaks as he finds. He had some woman in a microsft con thing call and then he said;

"Why don't you fuck off and do an honest job like prositituon"

Always Wondered what the woman thought at the other end???

[Gordon Bennett]

Fucking moron working out right in front of weights rack at gym earlier. Completely blocking access to about 7 foot stretch of dumbells. I politely waited for him to finish his set before moving in to grab some weights but the pillock still acted exasperated at having to step aside. Unbelievable!

[Blackpool Rock]

Fucking moron working out right in front of weights rack at gym earlier. Completely blocking access to about 7 foot stretch of dumbells. I politely waited for him to finish his set before moving in to grab some weights but the pillock still acted exasperated at having to step aside. Unbelievable!

Yeah I know what you mean, some dippy bint in my gym seems to like standing in from of the mirror with her arms stretched out either side of her while rotating her hands / wrists 
I can't see any physical benefit of doing this and the twat manages to block about 4 machines in the process 

The other one is when you jump on a machine that hasn't been used for a few minutes and some twat says "Sorry mate i'm still using that one" despite the fact they were using a different machine for the last 5 minutes 
So they seem to think that everyone else is 1st clairvoyant and 2nd that they can use / reserve 2 machines at a time for their own exclusive use.
I'm always tempted to clarify with them that "OK so you are using this machine and that one too then", when they confirm they are i'd love to point out that i'm using every other machine in the gym so could they please refrain from using any of them until the point that I leave 

[Gordon Bennett]

Yeah I know what you mean, some dippy bint in my gym seems to like standing in from of the mirror with her arms stretched out either side of her while rotating her hands / wrists 
I can't see any physical benefit of doing this and the twat manages to block about 4 machines in the process 

The other one is when you jump on a machine that hasn't been used for a few minutes and some twat says "Sorry mate i'm still using that one" despite the fact they were using a different machine for the last 5 minutes 
So they seem to think that everyone else is 1st clairvoyant and 2nd that they can use / reserve 2 machines at a time for their own exclusive use.
I'm always tempted to clarify with them that "OK so you are using this machine and that one too then", when they confirm they are i'd love to point out that i'm using every other machine in the gym so could they please refrain from using any of them until the point that I leave 

Yeah, they really take the biscuit. I won't budge though, I just say it's okay, I'm using it now. The neutrality of that statement seems to befuddle them and they stomp off. 

[timsussex]

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while I know some people are easily offended but really ....

[Blackpool Rock]

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while I know some people are easily offended but really ....

What a prick 

How did he know it was sexualised anyway 

OK so we can probably all agree that it's a bit "Saucy"    but it could be argued that his perverted mind has sexualised something perfectly innocent

[stevedave]

When you're queueing at a cash point and the person in front of you is taking ages, pressing waaaaay more buttons than you need to take some cash out. Then they check their receipt to make sure it's right... and then they put their card away and take ANOTHER fucking card out,  and repeat the whole god damn thing!! Utter, utter cunts.

[Punterperson1971]

When you're queueing at a cash point and the person in front of you is taking ages, pressing waaaaay more buttons than you need to take some cash out. Then they check their receipt to make sure it's right... and then they put their card away and take ANOTHER fucking card out,  and repeat the whole god damn thing!! Utter, utter cunts.

I agree with this one too makes me mad as well

[stevedave]

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while I know some people are easily offended but really ....

He says it sounds like an app for swingers - how the fuck does he know what a swinger is if he is such a puritan?!

And he has contacted his MP apparently. Jesus H Christ.

[Squire Haggard]

I dont believe it!  4 yrs 6 mths - out in 2 yrs 3 mths  and he'll get his own cell because its over 4 years.

''The victim, a man in his 30s, sustained serious injuries to his head and face, and medics found the drill had penetrated his brain by 5cm.

He had a bleed on the brain and now has significant weakness and physical impairment on his right upper and lower limbs as well as double vision in his left eye and brain damage, resulting in memory and cognitive issues.''

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............and you cant complain because only certain offences are allowed, with GBH excluded.   

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[lillythesavage]

I dont believe it!  4 yrs 6 mths - out in 2 yrs 3 mths  and he'll get his own cell because its over 4 years.

''The victim, a man in his 30s, sustained serious injuries to his head and face, and medics found the drill had penetrated his brain by 5cm.

He had a bleed on the brain and now has significant weakness and physical impairment on his right upper and lower limbs as well as double vision in his left eye and brain damage, resulting in memory and cognitive issues.''

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............and you cant complain because only certain offences are allowed, with GBH excluded.   

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How on gods earth do you drill into a mans head without intent?

[Fac51]

How on gods earth do you drill into a mans head without intent?

 

What a complete fucking joke of a sentence....

My thoughts are with the poor victim & his family

[B4bcock]

T V dramas where you struggle to understand what is being said because the actors mumble and mutter into their beer instead of delivering clearly pronounced diction - something which used to be considered a major part of their training.  AND, if that's not bad enough, the producers then insist on having background music playing almost constantly, even during dialogue for fuck's sake.  That production of 'Jamaica Inn' a few years ago was a fucking joke and plenty of recent dramas are nearly as bad.

[mr.bluesky]

T V dramas where you struggle to understand what is being said because the actors mumble and mutter into their beer instead of delivering clearly pronounced diction - something which used to be considered a major part of their training.  AND, if that's not bad enough, the producers then insist on having background music playing almost constantly, even during dialogue for fuck's sake.  That production of 'Jamaica Inn' a few years ago was a fucking joke and plenty of recent dramas are nearly as bad.

Or scenes that are filmed in the dark and you cannot see what the fuck is going on.

[Blackpool Rock]

T V dramas where you struggle to understand what is being said because the actors mumble and mutter into their beer instead of delivering clearly pronounced diction - something which used to be considered a major part of their training.  AND, if that's not bad enough, the producers then insist on having background music playing almost constantly, even during dialogue for fuck's sake.  That production of 'Jamaica Inn' a few years ago was a fucking joke and plenty of recent dramas are nearly as bad.

As I was reading your post I thought Jamaica Inn  I gave up on it in the end and believe they got slated for it at the time, rightly so too, it should have been sorted before being broadcast or not broadcast at all.

The other thing i hate with films / dramas etc is when they pick 2 actors who look too similar to each other, I inevitably end up losing the plot as I get confused between whose the bad guy and whose the hero etc, doesn't help if i'm tired while watching

[Watts.E.Dunn]

Or scenes that are filmed in the dark and you cannot see what the fuck is going on.

Yes well thats period realism in the days where they were lit by candles. Mind you what you see on a studio grade monitior and then on some not too well set uip TV's = chalk meet cheese.

Or under less than appropriate lightning when viewing at home. Jamaica Inn was a very poor example of the overuse of concealed radio microphones, much favoured by producers who arent too well clued up;!.

Or havent been thru the BBC school..

[Thephoenix]

T V dramas where you struggle to understand what is being said because the actors mumble and mutter into their beer instead of delivering clearly pronounced diction - something which used to be considered a major part of their training.  AND, if that's not bad enough, the producers then insist on having background music playing almost constantly, even during dialogue for fuck's sake.  That production of 'Jamaica Inn' a few years ago was a fucking joke and plenty of recent dramas are nearly as bad.

I'm afraid it's sub titles for me now, unless I go on Talking Pictures on Freeview, which shows all the old British films.
That's when you notice how much clearer the voices are.

[Punterperson1971]

People banging push chairs into back of your legs
pushing past you
even pushing past and standing on your feet
All this with no apologies

[Jeremy]

I don't believe all these stupid electric scooters they have these days that are apparently supposed to be used in the road. Most I see using them have no helmets, no lights/reflective gear - and worst of all no road sense!

Surprised there haven't been more fatalities on these things.

[Punterperson1971]

I don't believe all these stupid electric scooters they have these days that are apparently supposed to be used in the road. Most I see using them have no helmets, no lights/reflective gear - and worst of all no road sense!

Surprised there haven't been more fatalities on these things.

They are such Menace I saw one other day in Birmingham weaving in and out of traffic including double decker buses how they don’t hit anyone I don’t know and it was getting dark

[catweazle]

Dramas  - whether TV or live theatre - where "diversity" has been played up so much it becomes farcical.  I saw a production  of Shakespeare's " Twelvth Night" which, as part of the plot, has twins, which causes much confusion.  Except..... the parents were white. One twin was white. The other twin was afro-carribean with jet black skin.  I know  drama, and theatre,  to a degree relies on 'suspension of belief' but two white parents  producing twins, one white  and the other black?
(The black guy was a fine actor BTW, better than his white twin)

[Bonker]

What next? A giant panda playing Hamlet?

[B4bcock]

What next? A giant panda playing Hamlet?

Chi Chi, or not Chi Chi, that is the question. . . . . . .

[shaft10]

Millennials and Zoomers ... twats think they've invented the earth, music, tv, you name it ... they offend to easily, identify as whatever the fuck they want, and have a complete lack of respect for anything and everything ...

I am guilty of populating the planet with a Zoomer, I am however trying to educate him/her/he/she/it to be normal ... like me

[lillythesavage]

Millennials and Zoomers ... twats think they've invented the earth, music, tv, you name it ... they offend to easily, identify as whatever the fuck they want, and have a complete lack of respect for anything and everything ...

I am guilty of populating the planet with a Zoomer, I am however trying to educate him/her/he/she/it to be normal ... like me

I bred one who could barely read or write when he left school, dyslexia, through work giving him confidence, using computers it took a few years but things improved no end, but now he is a bloody Daily Mail addict, anti everything but at least he identifies as what he is.

[The0neAnd0nly]

Dramas  - whether TV or live theatre - where "diversity" has been played up so much it becomes farcical.  I saw a production  of Shakespeare's " Twelvth Night" which, as part of the plot, has twins, which causes much confusion.  Except..... the parents were white. One twin was white. The other twin was afro-carribean with jet black skin.  I know  drama, and theatre,  to a degree relies on 'suspension of belief' but two white parents  producing twins, one white  and the other black?
(The black guy was a fine actor BTW, better than his white twin)

Gotta agree with this and discussed it recently on the tv/movies thread.

The recent remake of Stephen Kings The Stand - a redneck American cowboy changed to a native american woman for absolutely no reason or justification. If they changed the character or motivations enough fair enough but it literally added nothing.

Loads of other male characters changed to female. One of the main guys was changed from white to black which did actually work but again didnt add or change anything greatly so why?!

[stevedave]

Millennials and Zoomers ... twats think they've invented the earth, music, tv, you name it ... they offend to easily, identify as whatever the fuck they want, and have a complete lack of respect for anything and everything ...

I am guilty of populating the planet with a Zoomer, I am however trying to educate him/her/he/she/it to be normal ... like me

Yes I agree and, believe me, trying to manage millennials is a different kind of challenge. Painful, in fact.

As someone at the end of Gen X I find this fundamentally difficult

[shaft10]

Yes I agree and, believe me, trying to manage millennials is a different kind of challenge. Painful, in fact.

As someone at the end of Gen X I find this fundamentally difficult

I feel your pain, I to am at the arse end of Gen X, when I was an apprentice, if you mouthed of to the elders you got you balls lubed up with Swarfega .. I seen this happen to a gobby mate of mine. I learned to stay quiet and do as I was told. You'd get jailed for that now and they'd play the mental health card for the rest of their lives.

[Stevelondon]

Whatever happened to those good old days when men were men and women were still as unfathonable as they are today.
Apprentices being sent for cans of tartan paint or the bubbles in spirit levels.
My brother had his hair covered in gloss paint it was easier to shave it all off.

[Blackpool Rock]

Whatever happened to those good old days when men were men and women were still as unfathonable as they are today.
Apprentices being sent for cans of tartan paint or the bubbles in spirit levels.
My brother had his hair covered in gloss paint it was easier to shave it all off.

Ah yes, skyhooks, a bucket of steam, a piece of string and a long "wait" 

I've heard of guys being hung over gantries 50 metres up and their overalls being glued to walls with still in them, steel toecap boots being welded together etc, all manner of shit used to get done as part of an initiation just to see if you could hack it and whether you were a person who could take a joke, some went along with the spirit and some marked themselves out as untrustworthy wankers from the outset

I did once have to go to the engineering stores and collect something which was real enough only for the storeman and his side kick to tell me I couldn't have it as there weren't any in stock.
I pointed to one on the shelf behind him and was told it's no good pointing as the computer says nil stock. 
Knowing i was being played I just went in the store room and took it off the shelf myself which pissed him off as apparently I "wasn't allowed in there" and he told me I wasn't allowed to help myself to things from the store.

I pointed out that I hadn't actually taken anything as the computer said nil stock 
They did actually see the funny side of it even though i fucked up their double act

[big-al93]

Companies who cold call me, then ask me to confirm who I am by telling them my address, postcode, D.O.B etc. This actually happened yesterday, and I told the caller to do one.
 “who are you”
 “I’m an energy specialist”
“what do you want?”
 “I can’t tell you till you confirm who you are”
“you called me !!”
[/quote]

I always ask them to confirm their identity to me to satisfy my security protocols. They never get trained how to answer that.

[myothernameis]

People who push in front of you at concerts, and drunk fans

So recently had seen OMD in concert, and not to far away from the stage.  Everyone around us, behaving, and were all talking to each other, and then this happens

This couple pushed there way in front of everyone, and kind of blocking our view.  It kicks of, as some fans, start having a go at everyone, and the female, was the worst of them.  Every word more or less that came out of her mouth, was foul, and to add insult, she gave everyone the middle finger

A few other concerts, always encounter someone drunk, so drunk there falling over us, and getting aggressive.  I go to a concert to enjoy the music, and the show, so think drinks should be limited to just one drink per person

[Thephoenix]

Going to theatre to watch one of my favourite vocalists.
Great seats, brilliant backing band starts the intro, the singer starts singing one of my favourite songs and at the same time a couple next to me join in.
Their arms are raised, belting out the lyrics for every song.
Unfortunately they're out of tune, in the wrong key and completely spoiling the performance.

Shit shit shite shit shit!!!!

I have to wait until the interval then move to the cheap back seats where at least I can hear the performance.

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[timsussex]

Whatever happened to those good old days when men were men and women were still as unfathonable as they are today.
Apprentices being sent for cans of tartan paint or the bubbles in spirit levels.
My brother had his hair covered in gloss paint it was easier to shave it all off.

newbies in lab sent to get a box of Fallopian Tubes

[Blackpool Rock]

newbies in lab sent to get a box of Fallopian Tubes

Work experience lad in a motorbike shop was set up by the other guys working there who got a biker to ask him if he had any info on the new menstrual cycle.
Poor lad was shouting out the back of the shop "Mike have you got any info on the menstrual cycle" as everyone in the shop was wetting themselves laughing 

[Watts.E.Dunn]

newbies in lab sent to get a box of Fallopian Tubes

It was a Box of "Amps" where I worked!

So we built very high power TV Transmitters these had big humming mains transformers in them, and when going huumed rather loudely and out putted around 15,000 vols ts to feed the high power Klystorons, bit similer ot the magnetron in yer microwave oven! Anyways to wind the head of test up, pretentious arogant superiour attiude sod!, we decided to leave a continity checker box when which when going hummed like a mains transformer so test matey would think it was conected and was live and throw a real wobbley as was his wont.

So its humming away and he turns up after friday lunch down the pub but cottoned on that he was being had!, reached into the windings and grabs the box and says Ha! i'm not fooled that easily!!

And then all the onlookers went very quiet as the transformer was still humming!! seems that someone had come an connected it up and it should have been the one in the next test area! and someone else had switched that circut on all whilst the test crew were down the boozer, it was someone retring! so he relaised he had his hand in the very high voltage windings and was in danger of being killed.

Poor sod he was crying his eyes out for someone to help but we didnt know how to switch it off or where the switch was so someone was running around calling for someone to discnnected it they couldsnt find anyone so someone decided to call the electricity board out in the meantime matey was getting weak holding his arm up so..

We had these earthing sticks. large lump of copper with a long earth lead so muggins here decided to hit the mains incomer to try and blow the fuses:) There was a Flash and Bang the like of being In a bloody thundercloud our eras were ringing for quite sometime afterwards but it l killed the power!! not only to the factory but the whole bloody industrial estate! Five mins later bloke from the leccy board turned up told him what had happened and why, so he just went and replaced the fuses what had blown.

Got a sort of well done and bollicking for it but it blew over!

[The0neAnd0nly]

People who push in front of you at concerts, and drunk fans

So recently had seen OMD in concert, and not to far away from the stage.  Everyone around us, behaving, and were all talking to each other, and then this happens

This couple pushed there way in front of everyone, and kind of blocking our view.  It kicks of, as some fans, start having a go at everyone, and the female, was the worst of them.  Every word more or less that came out of her mouth, was foul, and to add insult, she gave everyone the middle finger

A few other concerts, always encounter someone drunk, so drunk there falling over us, and getting aggressive.  I go to a concert to enjoy the music, and the show, so think drinks should be limited to just one drink per person

Argh hate this. Along with people who insist filming the whole gig on their mobile phone blocking your views. You've paid all that money to see a decent band... get off your phone and be in the moment!!!

[Thephoenix]

The misguided 'woke' brigade.

eg....pub in Devon changing the menu to include ploughperson's lunch instead of ploughman's.

Don't know what they're going to call the 'spotted ......' 

[WARSZAWA16]

The misguided 'woke' brigade.

eg....pub in Devon changing the menu to include ploughperson's lunch instead of ploughman's.

Don't know what they're going to call the 'spotted ......' 

Have seen it on a menu as "Spotted Richard"(!). Whether it was some sort of "in" joke, who knows. Incidentally, have also seen "Towed In The Hole" on a menu. The mind boggles.... (More an indictment on our education system though I suspect).

[suttonporksword]

People who ignorantly congregate with their idiot friends in public spaces in bottlenecks like in shopping centres or railway stations where the platforms doors are. As I get older my grunts and swearing get louder to the point I am probably going to get punched

[mr.bluesky]

The misguided 'woke' brigade.

eg....pub in Devon changing the menu to include ploughperson's lunch instead of ploughman's.

Don't know what they're going to call the 'spotted ......' 

"Spotted Richard" I'd imagine 

[Thephoenix]

"Spotted Richard" I'd imagine 

Not spotted sexual organ?

[Blackpool Rock]

Not spotted sexual organ?

Why should it be male 
In the interests of equality perhaps they could also have spotted cunt on the menu 

[Stevelondon]

Petrol pumps.

Was at the pump behind this bloke the other day. Pay at the pump......so it should be quick right.
I finish filling up my motor......so does the bloke in front.
So does he get in his car and drive off.
No.......he goes in the shop....to...you've guessed it. ....SHOP 

Your at a feckin Tesco supermarket you wanker. If you need to shop, go to the feckin supermarket.