This is me pulling an AliBirmingham and reviewing a girl on her debut. I was actually trying to see Lucy, but unfortunately she was already booked and the agent plugged Leah instead.
External Link/Members OnlyAppearance:Facially I'd say between a 6 or 7. She's not cute as described. Her facial features a bit sharper than the pictures.
She had a nose ring, pierced ears plus fake eyelashes.
Her boobs were basically similar to Megan's. Both a bit floppy and both nipples pierced. They were probably D's but smaller than Megan's.
She also had a big cut near her right armpit which she claimed was from shaving. But unless she was using a barber's razer, I don't know how she managed such a big cut.
Dress size is nowhere near a 10. She's a 12 with a bit of a gut. Her whole torso was wide for a girl of her height.
Her hair was a light brown colour. It was very fine and medium length.
Eye colour was brown.
A big tattoo ran down her arm and a certain Saharan animal was tattooed on her left leg.
She definitely is a short cake. Probably shorter than 5ft. I can't think of any shorter girls.
Also, she had really stubby fingers and big palms. I bet she struggles to get rings on and off with those digits.
Value for Money:Nearly the whole 30 minutes for £60. In all fairness to her, she didn't pull the whole time starts as soon as you buzz in nonsense.
Premises:Near Broadway Plaza. So I suppose you can shop at Morrisons and head back.
Communication:Honestly, this was excruciating on this particular day. The phone queue was 11 people long even into the late hours. In fairness, Lush recognised that and said they would call back.
Services:I was really rearing for another go at Lucy, as she takes more pounding than Rebel Wilson's sofa. But instead I got offered a go at Leah who, surprise surprise was very free that night.
When I knocked on the door I was waiting longer than I should have. Once the door finally turned, she quickly moved into the kitchen and slammed the kitchen door. I don't know what she was doing but my brain was telling me I should prepare to walk; she clearly isn't prepared. She comes out, demands the money and then says do I want to go to the bed; to which I say yes. It's the same old unprepared bed you may have come to expect.
So she goes straight into OWO. No eye contact just head down and sucking away. No ball fondling or licking at all. Her BJ is just incredibly sloppy. Saliva was just running everywhere. She did try to go deep although it wasn't even close to Kylie's tightness or depth. Whilst she was whistling away, she spoke in her thick Scottish accent and told me to hold her hair. I didn't mind holding her hair; it was very straight and thin. After a few minutes, it was clear she was not going to stop so I said I wanted a change up. I had to unclip her bra and pull off her panties. I swear this is just a timewasting tactic because her panties and bra were so tight; they were practically digging into her skin.
I start sucking on her boobs although they're pierced and I don't like the taste of cold metal in my mouth. Maybe it's their form of revenge for making them suck dongs. Had to go in for kissing and it was not DFK. After while I was hard enough to more onto the main event. I told her I wanted to start and she went back into OWO! I tell her, look we already did this let's move on. Except she's left the flipping condoms back in the kitchen! So she goes back out, whilst I'm losing hardness. But she even admits she’s silly for leaving the condoms back there. Then she comes back out does more OWO and then just fumbles about with the condom. She pulls it a little too tightly over the foreskin and she had to be reminded to pull it down the whole way. I knew she's a novice but come one, she's in her early 20s. Sex ed was only a few years ago.
She says do I want her on top. I flat out say no (I'm not getting crushed). So start off with missionary and she's making the groans. She's moaning but there's no eye contact at all. I couldn't really ream her the way I could Lucy on the fact that she's obese and pulled the condom back a little too tight. There's also a bit of stubble on her legs, which wasn't great. So afterward's she moves into a sideways position, facing me, But because of her size, that doesn't work. I say spooning and she guides me in. Spooning was going fine but then she has to start doing her own rhythm which makes me finish early. I barely get another 30 seconds back in missionary before it's game over. I have to throw away the condom myself and come back to find wet wipes on the cabinet, so no aftercare. It's only been 20 minutes and I lay back down. She's on the edge of the bed texting away. I ask her to lie back down on the bed. She obliges and she just talks about herself for a bit. She says she's only here this week and she might come down now and again. After about 8 minutes of talking I jump off and get changed. I help her with her bra. Lift her off the ground to feel her weight and she's got to be 12 stone at least. I head out and that's that.
Conclusion:Basically she's almost as dense as Hannah, boobs like Megan's and attitude similar to Harper. I almost certainly won't see her again as she's too much of a novice and she can't compare to the likes of Lucy or Vanessa. That said I found her comical and a fairly willing participant.
