External Link/Members Only External Link/Members OnlyI gave some cooling before writting this review because I was seriously annoyed and I wanted to avoid trash talking but I'm not exagerating by saying it is by far the worst punt I ever had, completely waste of time, this is a completely useless sex provider.
She has 0 reviews but the fee wasn't high so decided to find out, she's Russian so I considered it was less risky for things going down hill and I was in the area so I didn't have to invest too much time.
Comms: via phone and confirmed with her DO YOU PROVIDE ALL THE SERVICES STATED ON YOUR PROFILE? GFE, OWO, DFK ? -answer : YES
Fee £150 for 1 h but I didn't sayed more than 20 minutes this including shower and small talk.
The place: Flat in Chelsea good location, old flat
The woman: Tall, at least mid 40ts facially average, lots of belly hanging belly and despite being covered by lingerie it was still prominent, nothing special about her physically but besides that belly full of fat and farts I found her still fuckable.
On my arrival I was INSTRUCTED to leave my shoes at the entrance and remove them at a specific seat ( I was on a good mood so my tolerance to bullshit was still high) then I was INSTRUCTED to remove my clothes and leave them on a chair and proceed to lay on the bed for a massage. I thought this was her "sexy" iniciation so I followed the situation, I had previous punts with Slavic women who like to start the foreplay by massaging so I thought this was going to be the case.
The massage: Totally crap, with cold cream just spread randomly nothing sensual nothing special , I turned so she could start a BJ but instead she lubed me and started wanking me so I asked her to start with OWO, she said no! (WHAT??
) rubber me and gave me 1 minute BJ before starting to pressure for sex I said not yet let's have some foreplay.
At this moment she was still wearing bra I tried to grab her breasts and she reacted so defensively I asked what's going on? can you remove your bra? she replied yes but if you don't pinch my nipples (WHAT??
) I replied why would I do that??. She proceed to remove the bra but didn't allow me to touch her!!!! WTF with this woman?? no even FK
, the whole situation was going down hill.
I said ok let's try missionary (I was trying to rescue the situation) she laid down looking elsewhere or closing her eyes and covering her tits with her arms I tried to put the tip inside her and right away she started moving in a way that she was dodging my dick I could only put the tip inside , I stopped the whole thing and I asked her what's going on???!! she started mumbling nonsense. I can't recall exactly the sequence of events but at some point she was standing and me still on the bed, she told me well lay down I'll keep you massaging (if you can call that a massage) I replied I didn't come for a massage!!!
we agreed the services over the phone!!
she said ok then I'll wank you, I said I didn't come for a wank I can do that myself!! then she started talking about this friend she has with long legs and also brunete , I replied I don't care about your friend I came to see you!! . At this point I was so annoyed I couldn't believe the situation, then she said well you're not hard anymore for sex , all men in London can't get hard it must be the pollution!!
, I replied NO the problem is you!!
I have no erectile dysfunction!! she kept talking about her friend , I asked her are we going to have sex or not? but kept talking about the shit friend
completely ignoring what I was saying.
At this point I was totally annoyed so I grabbed my clothes and got into the shower (she tried to INSTRUCT me once more how to use the F shower
,annoyed I just told her firmly but politely please just leave me alone!!) After I came out of the shower I was putting my shoes on and she started again suggesting me to meet her friend, to what I replied I'm not interested in your friend !!! Just grabbed my shit and left the flat.
Conclusion: This woman is a completely useless sex provider and "masseuse", shit attitude maybe with some mental dissorder who knows , everything was shit. Nothing positive to rescue.
