So a 30 minute booking; left after 15
Paid £80, returned £20 back to me and offered to transfer £10 but I didn't want to disclose my identity so didn't follow up
External Link/Members OnlyFound profile on aw and she looked pretty from pics. I booked 30minutes and was late and she was patient with this.
On arriving, the house had graffiti on outside and I thought 'ooh! edgy!
The house was v messy inside and smelt like cigarette smoke and that was a turn off; though I can be messy sometimes too so didn't walk. I think I should have though..
Her friend/housemate opened up and told me to go on up. The girl was mid to late 20s but looked a bit rough, was a smoker and as a result, I didn't feel too good about the whole thing but it might be more to do with myself and my own presumptions than her. The messy accommodation and her not being able to locate a condom were alarming and from her accomodation, I wondered whether she's a potential drug user? Or maybe I'm just jumping to conclusions?
She went down on me and it was good!
But I felt gross about sleeping with someone that messy, and cigarette smoke was a huge turn-off though she was very apologetic. I downgraded the 30 minute booking to a 15 minute booking after first pop (oral) and she returned £20 and said something about how her friend had already taken out the remaining tenner - I didn't buy this but let it go as I was messing with people who I shouldn't have expected 'reasonable' from.
In summary, I didn't feel comfortable during this meeting and am glad I didn't fuck her because I would have felt gross about having slept with a potential drug user.
On one hand, she said she could take domination very well, so maybe I should have just stayed for the round 2 and thumped her hard, but I fancied my extra money back and I felt like I was taking advantage of someone vulnerable.
This isn't something I've always felt during punts but here it was because I suspected (perhaps incorrectly from her accommodation and appesrance) that she was a drug user.
And this is why, as much as I want to give her a positive, I can't bring myself to, because it affected the tone of the punt.
I think this was a punt where I regretted it afterwards. I think it's time to call it a day and to get professional help. I don't spent much money punting but I spend too much time thinking about it and for that reason, although it's not yet a major problem, I don't want to risk escalating it further. I'd rather spend my money on a hobby that I can openly talk about.
Also, will do some thinking about how this hobby affects how close I'll be with future spouses and whether I actually need to sexual satisfaction and whether I can channel some of this desire into another hobby and through discipline