External Link/Members OnlyCreamy Dreadful
This was a few weeks ago. I hadn’t punted for a while so I thought I’d mark the end of a miserable work project, the partial easing of lockdown and the onset of spring with a nice, long 2 hour session. One thing I hate about punting is rushing.
I need one with a long list of ‘enjoys’ to fill the two hours, I thought. I settled on creamy delicious. Her profile screams filthy fun - ‘turn me from an innocent beauty into a cum dripping fuckslut!’ Ok, I will, I thought. I don’t think I’ve ever read a more misleading load of old nonsense.
I emailed a few days before with I wanted - tie and tease, DFK, rimming. All on the ‘enjoys’ list and most in the text of her profile. Fine, she said - you want my PSE service, £270 for 2 hours. Ok, confirmed the date and time and she asked me to call on the day to confirm.
The big day rolled around and I made the requested call. She said she could only do 90 mins now. Ok, no biggie. Turned out to be the only sensible thing she said all afternoon.
Easily found the flat in Shoreditch. Arrived. Instead of describing her looks, it’s easier if you just google ‘bride of Frankenstein.’ But...she wore the lingerie I asked for which made her body look not too bad...until she took it off.
The flat was ok, bit too hot with sunlight able to penetrate the drawn curtains. Not her fault, it was mid-afternoon. It’s just I hate too much bright light. She probably does too...
Anyway, after the paperwork, shower and a brief chat (she is friendly and chatty), she asked if I’d like a massage. ‘Can we start with tie and tease?’ I said. Blank look. ‘Ok, how about a lap dance?’ - ‘I don’t do lap dance, it’s not on my profile, you should read my profile’, came the reply. IT IS ON YOUR PROFILE YOU CRETIN! So I sat on the edge of the bed and she sort of sat awkwardly on my lap while I fondled her saggy tits. I tried to kiss her. Nope. Despite her clearly stating ‘deep french Kissing’ in prominent wording on her profile this was apparently now off limits. She even has the audacity to bang on about how much she loves kissing in one of her blogs!
So, bad start. Ok, I’ll have a massage. I suppose this wasn’t too bad and I asked her to rim me after a bit. Yet again, something she’d agreed too and she clearly offers. I’m not sure what she was doing back there but it didn’t feel like rimming. I flipped over and asked for a BJ. She produced a dom which she put on me. No OWO then? We moved to 69, although she even seemed reluctant to do that. I said I was about to cum and could I COF? She removed the Dom and finished me with her hand. She put her face
near so I suppose that counts.
Another lengthy massage as I was struggling to get hard again, probably owing to the miserable experience so far. After another 20 mins or so, I thought I should at least try to fuck her. She seemed willing, ‘what position do you want?’ She said. ‘You on top’, I replied. ‘You should say please, clients should be polite’ came the response. Sorry?? Well that was it. Punt over. I rapidly dressed and got the hell out of the miserable old boiler’s boudoir.
So, to recap, I left about 50 mins into a 90 minute punt which cost £200. She’s fugly, way older than the stated 25, probably more like 40. She can be warm and friendly (when it suits her) but this just serves to mask the terrible service and hopelessly misleading profile.
This has really wound me up. I go out of my way to make these lady’s lives as easy as possible. I give plenty of notice, turn up on time, clean and well groomed. I wouldn’t dream of asking for something not on their profile. Fair enough if DFK, OWO etc disgust you. DON’T PUT IT ON YOUR PROFILE THEN! I’LL GO SOMEWHERE ELSE!
Overall, the punt was so bad it put me off punting, women and sex!
