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This is the succinct advert text for posterity:
My name is Sophia! I provide massage in London. Is advice to enquire only and book in advance ți-l when is safe to do under current guidline.I texted the number and was sent the following info...
Hi i do erotic massage body to body With oil and happy ending. For half an hour is £50 and for one hour is £90. X...plus the two attached photos.
Comms: That price is £10 below the typical London rate for such things and I thought Sophia looked hot, so I figured I'd take the plunge. She confirmed it was fully-nude B2B (a common ruse being panties staying on), and gave me a postcard for Netherwood Road, close to Shepherd's Bush green. Getting my nether regions attended to Netherwood road? It was like it was meant to be
Nevertheless, I erred on the side of caution and opted only for half an hour at £50.
Girl: Once on said promisingly-named road, I asked for the house number but was made to phone, which all seemed a bit pointless. But okay. Was told the flat was on the top floor (aren't they always? that or the basement) and trudged up four flights of stairs. Upon arrival, and a classic bit of hide-behind-the-door action, Monica turned out to be a little curvier than I'd anticipated. Size 10, maybe 12. It is her in the photos, though, and she's so-so pretty IMO; I'm just not into curves. I was about to leave when she said she had a friend, and retrieved her; this was Emma, who was much slimmer and, I thought, really quite pretty, despite wearing braces (these kinda turn me on, actually). Paler brown hair, maybe originally blonde. "Alrighty," I said, gleefully. Emma took charge of the room - making me think they must have just the one - and left me to get ready after I'd handed over 50 of my pounds.
Both Monica and Emma were dressed only in towels pre-massage, but were made up. The room was basic, with a towel on a sheeted bed. Emma told me they wash the towels after every customer, and it smelt fresh, as did she. She was Romanian and later said she's here until May; I presume Monica is too.
Service: I started in FDM, and Emma applied lots - too much, I'd say - of warm oil to my back, then my legs, for a token massage with about as much professional skill as I'd be able to muster. This lasted for maybe 5 minutes - pleasingly quick, as some operations spin this stuff for ages. Thence followed a minute or two's much more teasing touch before I was asked to turn. I was able to touch everywhere within reach, including her pussy - but this was so dry and devoid of excitement that I felt a distinct absence of thrill.
I was asked to turn. Having oiled up (the still quite) Little Jack and her chest, Emma commenced a sort of token B2B - rubbing her very ample breasts over my dick quite deliberately. This was nice, but... "can you come up here (pointing to my chest) and do B2B," I asked? Nope, said Emma - "otherwise my pussy is touching your dick." Hard to argue with that, but it rather spoilt the fun - as did Emma being ultra-boundaried. I offered a lot of money (which I would never have paid) for kissing or other services, but there was zero chance of these. So we proceeded until the massage rather petered out. I wasn't hard; she could probably have got me there, but I didn't feel so fussed.
Instead I just fondled Emma's truly terrific breasts - large but super soft, with nice-sized nipples - and we chatted a bit. She's a nice, straightforward girl, which I appreciate. There's no hint of her messing you around, and she was sad that I didn't have an orgasm. Afterwards I used their rainfall shower (nice!) and left after about 40 mins in total. So no timewasting, either.
Verdict: A neutral, then. As professional and attentive as she was, Emma couldn't quite hide her disinterest, and ultimately that stymied the thrill for me. But value-wise it's decent, and you will get a nude, hot girl spending about 15-20 minutes unhurried wanking you off with her ample chest and hands - so it's hardly the worst deal. I could easily see this being a positive for someone else.
