First Punt...SO many questions...Help?!

[Salt]

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WOW

[SirFrank]

Good luck mate. Do report back when you've met. Hope all goes well

[CBPaul]

Wish my first one was like that - would have been memorable for all the right reasons. Enjoy the punt OP.

[T_Nizo]

Cheers folks,
definitely be reporting back.

Fantastic pics posted too!!

[SeekingtheTruth]

Damn, those eyes.

Trip to Fareham to be organised.

[vorian]

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To be fair these photo's are a couple of years old, the current ones on her public gallery were done in January this year and thus more recent. As I said she is not very photogenic but the latest ones are a good representation of her current look, the body in this photo is however correct, I would say a size eight waist, a size ten arse and chest 32C.

[Frenchie]

OMG !!!!!!!!!!!!!

[GeeWiz]

I tend to find if you plan ahead, you may end up disappointed.  Used to think I need to do x,y,z in a session, but now go with the flow.

One essential for me though is to skip any offer of massage at the start of booking.  Get a quickie in, then use the massage (giving or receiving) for the refractory period and chat, before going again for round two.

[SirFrank]

She looks good enough to eat. As above I wish my first punt was like this. The duchess is often in that neck of the woods with work so hmmm but she looks yummy - the escort that is not my fucking wife

[yorkshire123]

To be fair these photo's are a couple of years old, the current ones on her public gallery were done in January this year and thus more recent. As I said she is not very photogenic but the latest ones are a good representation of her current look, the body in this photo is however correct, I would say a size eight waist, a size ten arse and chest 32C.

Fucking hell
That girl needs a holiday, may i suggest Birmingham. 

[tel_house]

Like the look of her CB session. Interesting use of a Cadburys Boost bar in the last FR!!

Put one in your pocket before you go.....

As they say "I was there" and the FR is an accurate description of that CB session!

 T_Nizo, all I can say is you have made an excellent choice for a first punt, not only is Hayley the creme de la creme of WGs she will look after you well as a first timer.

Enjoy and don't forget to do a review

[wristjob]

Just wondering if this ever happened

[vorian]

Just wondering if this ever happened

You and me both

[tel_house]

You and me both

and me

[vorian]

Would have been nice to hear back from the OP,  up to him of course but makes you think twice next time someone asks foe help and advice. 

[JV547845]

You're not just helping the OP but anyone else who may be reading but didn't think to ask a similar question - the unsung majority who do think to read the FAQs and google it first.  If I can be arsed or if I can be funny about it I'd chip in.

[vorian]

You're not just helping the OP but anyone else who may be reading but didn't think to ask a similar question - the unsung majority who do think to read the FAQs and google it first.  If I can be arsed or if I can be funny about it I'd chip in.

You make a fair point about helping the lukers who are reading a threat.

[Marmalade]

Just wondering if this ever happened

I just looked at this thread just now and from the title thought I CAN'T BELIEVE EXPERIENCED UKP MEMBERS HAVE BEEN WOUND UP FOR THREE PAGES ON ONE OF THESE   




But I clearly stand corrected. C'mon lads. . . 

[akauya]

I just looked at this thread just now and from the title thought I CAN'T BELIEVE EXPERIENCED UKP MEMBERS HAVE BEEN WOUND UP FOR THREE PAGES ON ONE OF THESE   




But I clearly stand corrected. C'mon lads. . .

I was thinking that too and thus refrained from posting. Sadly there have been so many "this is my first time","I'm a virgin" threads that turned out to be trolls I no longer believe new ones. Which is a shame because when we turn on trolls I'm sure we put off genuine newbies from asking questions. I don't know what's the answer, maybe have a new section, far below the main sections (not a sticky as I know Adam doesn't want stickies) solely for informative threads for newbies? 

So when a newbie joins we direct him to the relevant threads and tell him to post a review after, or something like that, rather than spend hours giving them the same advice over and over again as it's been done so many times before.

It's good to have new blood and I hope we are not becoming too paranoid of newbies asking daft questions thinking they are trolls.

[vorian]

I was thinking that too and thus refrained from posting. Sadly there have been so many "this is my first time","I'm a virgin" threads that turned out to be trolls I no longer believe new ones. Which is a shame because when we turn on trolls I'm sure we put off genuine newbies from asking questions. I don't know what's the answer, maybe have a new section, far below the main sections (not a sticky as I know Adam doesn't want stickies) solely for informative threads for newbies? 

So when a newbie joins we direct him to the relevant threads and tell him to post a review after, or something like that, rather than spend hours giving them the same advice over and over again as it's been done so many times before.

It's good to have new blood and I hope we are not becoming too paranoid of newbies asking daft questions thinking they are trolls.

I agree it is a difficult one this, no easy solution but as UKP continue to grow at the incredible rate that it is. Something that is going to get worse and worse.

[yorkshire123]

I was thinking that too and thus refrained from posting. Sadly there have been so many "this is my first time","I'm a virgin" threads that turned out to be trolls I no longer believe new ones. Which is a shame because when we turn on trolls I'm sure we put off genuine newbies from asking questions. I don't know what's the answer, maybe have a new section, far below the main sections (not a sticky as I know Adam doesn't want stickies) solely for informative threads for newbies? 

So when a newbie joins we direct him to the relevant threads and tell him to post a review after, or something like that, rather than spend hours giving them the same advice over and over again as it's been done so many times before.

It's good to have new blood and I hope we are not becoming too paranoid of newbies asking daft questions thinking they are trolls.

Fully agree
Sometimes playing along with a newbie thread tends to expose them as trolls quite quickly as they get sloppy & think they have us fooled.
As a newbie to forum life it staggers me to what kind of questions people ask in a public forum. If i had a real issue that i wanted help with i would lurk for a while, contribute to other threads & then ask the question that way you have a chance of getting a better quality of advice. However i still don't think that forums are a place for airing your dirty washing in.
I don't think all newbies are trolls but do think that a percentage are just thick as fuck & have zero communication skills, be it in person or in the virtual forum environment.

[CBPaul]

Fully agree
Sometimes playing along with a newbie thread tends to expose them as trolls quite quickly as they get sloppy & think they have us fooled.
As a newbie to forum life it staggers me to what kind of questions people ask in a public forum. If i had a real issue that i wanted help with i would lurk for a while, contribute to other threads & then ask the question that way you have a chance of getting a better quality of advice. However i still don't think that forums are a place for airing your dirty washing in.
I don't think all newbies are trolls but do think that a percentage are just thick as fuck & have zero communication skills, be it in person or in the virtual forum environment.

Sums it up perfectly 

I get the feeling that the trolls amongst the newbie posters, especially on the I'm a virgin type threads, are not too good at providing details of who they are thinking of punting with, where they want to punt and exactly what they are after (other than blowing their built up load). Obviously this OP doesn't conform as he posted the name of an absolute stunner.

Just a hunch and might be way off. But they do seem to go colder when asked to provide links - maybe they don't have the level of creativity required. 

[wristjob]

Reading this thread it really doesn't look like trolling. More like a guy who probably bottled it.

to be honest there are plenty that are obvious.

[vorian]

Reading this thread it really doesn't look like trolling. More like a guy who probably bottled it.

to be honest there are plenty that are obvious.

I'm with you on this one, I exchanged PM's with the guy and he seemed genuine,  shame he has disengaged.

[wristjob]

Now that charlie guy - his problem seems to be he can't even tie his own shoelaces

[JV547845]

If newbie threads pissed me off I just wouldn't read them.  I don't have time to read every thread on UKP as it is.

[Hor1zon]

My as well throw this in here

Do all WGs provide protection? or should you always ask?

[vorian]

My as well throw this in here

Do all WGs provide protection? or should you always ask?

All good WG will have a selection of condoms, lube etc,  no real need to ask.  The question you need to ask on here should be, is this prossie any good.

[JV547845]

They don't always have a great selection of sizes though.

[vorian]

They don't always have a great selection of sizes though.

Well the ones I have seen always do 

[wristjob]

Well the ones I have seen always do 

They always have small 

[JV547845]

I shouldn't be so shy about asking then.  Probably my fault. 

[vorian]

They always have small 

I did suggest to my regular once that they should make a range of prossie friendly condoms, colour coded so they know the different sizes but all clearly marked in big letters,  EXTRA LARGE KING SIZE.

[Stoking]

At the start of the session you might face "the test". She might ask if you want a massage - for escorts a massage is code for squat over your face and have a dump in your mouth. Always decline or possibly "maybe later".

0_o I hope that's a joke? lol

[Rochdull lad]

At the start of the session you might face "the test". She might ask if you want a massage - for escorts a massage is code for squat over your face and have a dump in your mouth. Always decline or possibly "maybe later".

And for punters, it's code for wasting at least 5 of the minutes you've paid for.

Reading this thread it really doesn't look like trolling. More like a guy who probably bottled it.

to be honest there are plenty that are obvious.

Yes, re-reading the first page of this thread, he came across as someone who was really looking forward to punting and appreciating all the advice [serious and less so - see above! ] he was being given.

[vorian]

The OP did contact me last night by PM,  he does seem genuine and the planned punt was rescheduled.

[T_Nizo]

Hey folks, sorry I haven't replied to this! Definitely NOT trolling. As Vorian mentioned the punt had to be re-arranged and then recently we've had a passing in my family so I haven't had the opportunity to log on very frequently and also yet to get out to see Hayley. Still very much want to so hoping to get this sorted soon. Really appreciate all the advice and sorry to of offended those who thought it was just a troll, but I can assure you its definitely not 

[Marmalade]

So go and have a punt then come back for advice. Some people don't realise when they're trolling, even if they are not doing so maliciously.

It's comparable to someone "thinking of buying a computer" yet asking lots of questions about what to do with it (if and when he actually buys one).

Most people do not ask for advice before their very 1st punt. So most threads like this are indeed a waste of space. Having sex, of any sort, is an URGE and if you really  want to talk and think about it for several pages beforehand you are probably better off with a magazine.

[Sparquin]

Hey folks, sorry I haven't replied to this! Definitely NOT trolling. As Vorian mentioned the punt had to be re-arranged and then recently we've had a passing in my family so I haven't had the opportunity to log on very frequently and also yet to get out to see Hayley. Still very much want to so hoping to get this sorted soon. Really appreciate all the advice and sorry to of offended those who thought it was just a troll, but I can assure you its definitely not 

Sorry to hear the news. However with your appetite well and truly whetted, try not to wank before you get to see her and you will enjoy it all the more!