I didn't get much success from FetLife at all. I got some messages from Mistress Zeena saying she loved my profile and she gave me her number and private facebook. She asked me if I wanted to film with her and I said no as it could destroy my career. Then she asked if I wanted to go for a drink and I thought I had won the lottery. Then she stopped replying so I left it a couple of weeks and followed up to ask when she wanted to go for a drink and she said it would cost me so I bailed. Suppose I got a bit of excitement.
I've had little success from fetlife but that's because of the way the market is. For every woman wiling to kick a guy (usually in the balls, not the shins) there are a load of guys lining up for it.
They say it's not intended as a "dating" site, but (when there isn't a lockdown) many of us want to practise our kink, not just talk about it, and they have groups with classifieds etc.
Far too many on these sites are either looking for a "slave" or are subs looking for a "dom" or are looking for some kind of lifestyle partner, rather than simply being content to do some kinky act without forming a relationship.;
I guess we could arrange something where multiple guys assemble while the woman kicks us in the balls in turn, and see who lasts the longest. There was actually a video on youtube of that being done. I saw it 6 years ago, and wished they'd invited me to take part.