Decided to try Zen in Upminster a few weeks before second lockdown. My first time there.
External Link/Members Only Comms: Booked same day for 90 minute massage in pm.
Traffic was a mare so I was one minute late and got called by shop 30 seconds before I walked through the door - all fine though.
Location: Due to roadworks, traffic was awful round there. Parked for free on local residential street 5 mins walk away. Shop located on busy road and not discreet, particularly because part of the entrance is shared with a barbers. When I arrived (before going through the actual entrance to either Zen or the Barbers) a couple of chaps with clippers turned to look at me through window, in case I was about to enter their shop. I gave them a wave and walked past.
Venue: Average at best. Quite big reception. Met by the only girl there (Lauren) who judging by previous reviews must be a stalwart of this place. When taken to the (small but passable) room there was a chap faffing with some DIY in the hallway. Hammering and banging etc. Went on for a good 5 minutes into session - wasn’t a good start. Place is a bit tired - no central heating and I seem to recall switching the elec. heater up a notch.
Lauren: Has been reviewed on here before. Late 20’s early 30’s Chinese. Slim, average derriere, 5ft 5 maybe with an ok face (certainly wouldn't look twice if passing in street but she’s no munter). Excellent English, chatty, no attitude and put me at ease quickly. DocJohnson rating of 6/10 for the package.
Action: So after being promised Bob the Builder would do one straight away after we got to room, it was annoying that he lingered for a few more minutes. Time enough for me to be left to undress, switch heating up and lie down prone under a towel - pointing south in hope and anticipation. Time also for Lauren to come back, ask me to use hand gel, and get started.
Finally, after some shouted exchanges between Bob & Lauren, he fucked off.
Asked her to be gentle as was feeling a bit delicate after a few the night before. To be fair she was average to good at massage although not that sensual - 7/10. There was a bit of WSWS going on as it was my first time there and everything seemed a bit legit with massage being passable etc.
“Accidental” touches started occurring and then, certainly before half time (maybe 40mins out of 90), she asks me to flip over. Asks if I want extra and HE confirmed, I think with her top off but maybe bra on? with some touching permitted, for £25, I think as that was all I had left in my purse. Whatever the case - the fact I can’t remember if tits out, or if I touched her at all, tells its own story.
Anyway, I was in a chatty mood and so was she. So we had a long and fairly mundane conversation whilst she jerked me off. She’s clearly done it a 1000+ times and (to be fair, I’ve had a few wanks) so it created an interesting vibe. I got my own kick out of that as we hit the 25 minute mark of cock handling and she’s started to notice her arm getting tired. I do wonder whether if we hadn't been chatting away she might have got a bit bored of tickling my tackle sooner.
She eventually clocks on that I’m making her put in a shift. I tell her she knew I was booked for 90 so she shouldn’t have started so early, if she wasn’t prepared to look after me for the duration.
Lauren took that remarkably well and so I felt ballsy enough to discuss techniques and give directions to help us both. We then stopped the chit chat and put our minds to it, but only after she had got a chair to sit on next to the table.
Anyway, she got me over the line and although it took a while (maybe 35-40 minutes of stroking), it would be fair to say she has got some skill - and patience - but YMMV!
Total damage: £65 + £25 (I think!).
Rating: All in all 6/10 from me and just about positive because Lauren had some skill, had an asian GND vibe, and put in some graft.
Will I repeat: Probably not, unless I happen to be passing. If I do, I might go for a four hander to see if I can get even more action time and suss out Lauren’s colleagues.
