Author Topic: What's the funniest thing an SP has said to you when she cums? (Read 6464 times)

DouglasReynholm · « **on:** January 06, 2021, 11:00:00 am »

BTW I do know they fake it - no need to explain that to me, I think.

I suppose if anyone wants to post funny things civvy girls have said here that wouldnt be toly illegal? BTW I do know they also fake it - no need to explain that to me, I think.

With me women (of either type) sound grunty and aggressive when they cum - nothing like Meg Ryan. "FRRRRRRRCK!" is a popular one. Like The Exorcist.

Thephoenix · « **Reply #1 on:** January 06, 2021, 05:09:13 pm »

Eee ba gum Chuck!

Are you all from same rugby team?

Tonyg · « **Reply #2 on:** January 06, 2021, 05:21:18 pm »

‘You’re not getting a discount you cunt’

threechilliman · « **Reply #3 on:** January 06, 2021, 05:49:31 pm »

When I get an SP to cum I'll let you know what she says.

Rochelle · « **Reply #4 on:** January 06, 2021, 05:58:15 pm »

Quote from: threechilliman on January 06, 2021, 05:49:31 pm

When I get an SP to cum I'll let you know what she says.

🤔
Really?

Punterperson1971 · « **Reply #5 on:** January 06, 2021, 06:00:25 pm »

Keep licking I’m almost there

willie loman · « **Reply #6 on:** January 06, 2021, 06:23:22 pm »

while not funny, i have noticed that english girls use the present continuous,"i am coming", while italian girls use the present simple, "vengo", while a french girl memorably said to me, "tu sais ce que tu dois faire", note the use of tutoiement

threechilliman · « **Reply #7 on:** January 06, 2021, 07:18:22 pm »

Quote from: Rochelle on January 06, 2021, 05:58:15 pm

🤔
Really?

RandomGuy99 · « **Reply #8 on:** January 06, 2021, 08:43:20 pm »

I almost never (99.999999999% of the time) get an SP to cum.

Why?

Because that's not why I punt. I punt for my enjoyment. I never set out to make them cum.

I never cum during penetration because that's not my goal. It's just not my thing. I rarely even break a sweat. For me the sign of a really good booking is when I do.

Hotpocket · « **Reply #9 on:** January 06, 2021, 08:59:00 pm »

"Fuck a duck chuck i needed that" and one shouted "you dirty filthy cunt"

scutty brown · « **Reply #10 on:** January 06, 2021, 09:04:44 pm »

Oooooh! That was THIRTEEN!

Trotter671 · « **Reply #11 on:** January 06, 2021, 09:57:00 pm »

Maybe not the funniest but "My God, you make my pussy tingle" gave me an ego boost!

Subboy1980 · « **Reply #12 on:** January 06, 2021, 10:48:56 pm »

Sp - oh your the best at it! You can lick my pussy all day". And then just for that split second I felt good until I realised she's probably said the same statement to last client she's seen!

Metalgear2018 · « **Reply #13 on:** January 06, 2021, 11:03:43 pm »

Quote from: Punterperson1971 on January 06, 2021, 06:00:25 pm

Keep licking I’m almost there

2 hours later........

the_exile · « **Reply #14 on:** January 06, 2021, 11:17:51 pm »

Chinese woman - "I coming!", which I thought was just to spur me on a bit, then I felt her pussy convulsing. For some reason, I find the broken English a real turn-on, like another Chinese girl asking, "You want get inside me?" Oh yes!

Bonker · « **Reply #15 on:** January 07, 2021, 12:21:00 am »

Oh dahlink that will be £20 extra.

globewindsailor · « **Reply #16 on:** January 07, 2021, 12:25:19 am »

I love you.

Bonker · « **Reply #17 on:** January 07, 2021, 12:45:05 am »

Thanks globe, I love you too

LLPunting · « **Reply #18 on:** January 07, 2021, 06:31:17 am »

Quote from: willie loman on January 06, 2021, 06:23:22 pm

while not funny, i have noticed that english girls use the present continuous,"i am coming", while italian girls use the present simple, "vengo", while a french girl memorably said to me, "tu sais ce que tu dois faire", note the use of tutoiement

It would be a tad cold and impolite to use vous as you're buried in her snatch, pleasantries notwithstanding the act is described as "being intimate".

LLPunting · « **Reply #19 on:** January 07, 2021, 06:33:39 am »

Quote from: scutty brown on January 06, 2021, 09:04:44 pm

Oooooh! That was THIRTEEN!

I find it really off-putting when they count their day's bookings out loud.

Thephoenix · « **Reply #20 on:** January 07, 2021, 08:53:01 am »

Quote from: scutty brown on January 06, 2021, 09:04:44 pm

Oooooh! That was THIRTEEN!

Think I can beat that scutty.

Mine was with a parlour girl in Vietnam.

Oooh!...that was n n n nineteen...n n n nineteen.🙄

dubs · « **Reply #21 on:** January 07, 2021, 08:56:04 am »

Quote from: Punterperson1971 on January 06, 2021, 06:00:25 pm

Keep licking I’m almost there

Then she surreptitiously checks her watch like the scene in Klute

willie loman · « **Reply #22 on:** January 07, 2021, 09:05:32 am »

Quote from: LLPunting on January 07, 2021, 06:31:17 am

It would be a tad cold and impolite to use vous as you're buried in her snatch, pleasantries notwithstanding the act is described as "being intimate".

De Gaulle used the vous with his wife, dont know if he switched to tu at certain moments.

Private Parts · « **Reply #23 on:** January 07, 2021, 09:18:32 am »

Quote from: willie loman on January 06, 2021, 06:23:22 pm

while not funny, i have noticed that english girls use the present continuous,"i am coming", while italian girls use the present simple, "vengo", while a french girl memorably said to me, "tu sais ce que tu dois faire", note the use of tutoiement

A Cunninglinguist. Indeed
PP

Adrian2017 · « **Reply #24 on:** January 07, 2021, 04:54:54 pm »

Its not what she said it what she did. 2nd time I say her and she was riding me ontop and came hard. She was so into it and horny that she bit her upper lip and blood was dripping all over my chest.

I wanted to see her again but the thought of her shooting blood on me again did not appeal.

M

manofsimplepleasures · « **Reply #25 on:** January 07, 2021, 04:58:22 pm »

Quote from: willie loman on January 06, 2021, 06:23:22 pm

while not funny, i have noticed that english girls use the present continuous,"i am coming", while italian girls use the present simple, "vengo", while a french girl memorably said to me, "tu sais ce que tu dois faire", note the use of tutoiement

I got a "Блядь! Мне нравится, что!!" once. Lovely girl

Bonker · « **Reply #26 on:** January 07, 2021, 11:18:41 pm »

Quote from: Thephoenix on January 07, 2021, 08:53:01 am

Think I can beat that scutty.

Mine was with a parlour girl in Vietnam.

Oooh!...that was n n n nineteen...n n n nineteen.🙄

That's nothing. I fucked a darts umpire...
180

Home Alone · « **Reply #27 on:** January 08, 2021, 06:30:17 pm »

Quote from: willie loman on January 06, 2021, 06:23:22 pm

while not funny, i have noticed that english girls use the present continuous,"i am coming", while italian girls use the present simple, "vengo", while a french girl memorably said to me, "tu sais ce que tu dois faire", note the use of tutoiement

Yeah; quite a compliment, willie.

It's a bit like what an SP once once observed after I'd been giving her some RO: "I love a chap who doesn't need a map!"

Plan R · « **Reply #28 on:** January 08, 2021, 07:46:38 pm »

"You my husband! You my husband! "

Utterly faked bollocks is utterly faked bollocks - whatever her first language was it sure wasn't English.
Made me laugh though.

Plan R · « **Reply #29 on:** January 08, 2021, 07:48:07 pm »

Quote from: Home Alone on January 08, 2021, 06:30:17 pm

It's a bit like what an SP once once observed after I'd been giving her some RO: "I love a chap who doesn't need a map!"

Nathxxx · « **Reply #30 on:** January 08, 2021, 08:16:41 pm »

While I’m giving oral: “I’m gonna cum! You ready?! You ready?! You ready?! Im gonna cum! You ready?!...”

All the while I’m thinking: ready for what? You squirt?

But no, she just had to say that apparently

scutty brown · « **Reply #31 on:** January 08, 2021, 08:24:02 pm »

If you've giving a thai girl RO you know she's cum because her knee lock round your neck relaxes and she lets go of your ears

the_exile · « **Reply #32 on:** January 08, 2021, 09:15:08 pm »

Quote from: Plan R on January 08, 2021, 07:46:38 pm

"You my husband! You my husband! "

Utterly faked bollocks is utterly faked bollocks - whatever her first language was it sure wasn't English.
Made me laugh though.

Had to be another Asian woman!

Suffolkseeker · « **Reply #33 on:** January 08, 2021, 09:26:53 pm »

knacker High !!!

Cum_again · « **Reply #34 on:** January 09, 2021, 11:09:49 pm »

Fucking hell you’ve done that before...

Cimex · « **Reply #35 on:** January 10, 2021, 12:49:18 pm »

'You bastard, I don't cum with clients!' and then a few seconds later 'Don't you dare stop, I want to cum again...' while holding my head in a leg lock. She stopped working soon after that