Rudest thing an SP has ever said to you during a punt

[winkywanky]

 

Thsts sweet but just to clarify I CAN NOT HELP THAT MEN HERE FIND ME ATTRACTIVE ALL I DO IS POST OPINIONS OFTEN IN OPPOSITE DIRECTION TO 90% PUNTERS, N GUYS HERE COMMENT THAT IM ATTRACTIVE I CAN NOT HELP THAT N IT DOES NOT MAKE ME TOUTING!!
(My disclaimer before being banned for nothing  )

[PreopDollyJTS]

Of course, it's your body, and there are plenty guys who like the look. And I hope you are doing it for yourself and not for others, that's not a criticism by the way  .

Of course I'm doing it for me I spent 2 years of my escort life staying flat chested as a hot chick with a dick purposelly for my career cus it set me apart from the rest, now ive spent just under £9,000 on two boob jobs 4 months apart for the look I love that will attract more criticism than love. If i was doing anything for work I’d have stayed the same!

[winkywanky]

Of course I'm doing it for me I spent 2 years of my escort life staying flat chested as a hot chick with a dick purposelly for my career cus it set me apart from the rest, now ive spent just under £9,000 on two boob jobs 4 months apart for the look I love that will attract more criticism than love. If i was doing anything for work I’d have stayed the same!

In that case, good for you Dolly 

[PreopDollyJTS]

In that case, good for you Dolly 

So if u do come see me don’t u dare write here her boobs were too big or ill have u hung drawn n quartered 

[Bonker]

Not the rudest but a trifle odd...
Don't ask for anal cos I had a curry last night. 

[winkywanky]

 

[daviemac]

Thsts sweet but just to clarify I CAN NOT HELP THAT MEN HERE FIND ME ATTRACTIVE ALL I DO IS POST OPINIONS OFTEN IN OPPOSITE DIRECTION TO 90% PUNTERS, N GUYS HERE COMMENT THAT IM ATTRACTIVE I CAN NOT HELP THAT N IT DOES NOT MAKE ME TOUTING!!
(My disclaimer before being banned for nothing  )

Let me point out that if you do get banned it will no be 'for nothing', touting isn't the only thing SPs get banned for. Maybe you aren't clear on the rules regarding SPs so I'll post a link and quote the relevant one.

2 Service Providers
This site allows service providers to be members, but there is zero-tolerance for touting, flirting, attention-seeking and negative attitude towards punters. Service providers must respect the ethos of the site. This site is not a chat platform between clients and service providers, nor is it a support site for service providers. All service providers / non-punters must reveal their working identities - no 'anonymous WGs'.

https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=252680.0

[PreopDollyJTS]

Let me point out that if you do get banned it will no be 'for nothing', touting isn't the only thing SPs get banned for. Maybe you aren't clear on the rules regarding SPs so I'll post a link and quote the relevant one.

2 Service Providers
This site allows service providers to be members, but there is zero-tolerance for touting, flirting, attention-seeking and negative attitude towards punters. Service providers must respect the ethos of the site. This site is not a chat platform between clients and service providers, nor is it a support site for service providers. All service providers / non-punters must reveal their working identities - no 'anonymous WGs'.

https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=252680.0

Noted n I’ll tread more carefully but honestly I don’t mean for anything to come across as flirty on one stretch or as having a negative attitude towards punters purposely in another stretch, literally just reply to posts I see as I thought allowed n banter follows, or a confrontation does at different opinions, at least i show my work name n face on here i bet theres loads of hoes on here that comment to threads on themselves/others behind fake or blank profiles Ive nothing to hide for touting or anything else whatsoever I’m just partaking in chit chat n banter amongst the forum

[daviemac]

Noted n I’ll tread more carefully but honestly I don’t mean for anything to come across as flirty on one stretch or as having a negative attitude towards punters purposely in another stretch, literally just reply to posts I see as I thought allowed n banter follows, or a confrontation does at different opinions, at least i show my work name n face on here i bet theres loads of hoes on here that comment to threads on themselves/others behind fake or blank profiles Ive nothing to hide for touting or anything else whatsoever I’m just partaking in chit chat n banter amongst the forum

Any SP masquerading as a punter on here get's banned, others who post reasonable comments are changed to 'service provider'.

Perhaps I should've highlighted this part of the rules as well,  ↓  though I did think putting it in italics would suffice.

This site is not a chat platform between clients and service providers,  There's a new site listed here  https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=279443.msg3018215#new  where banter, flirting and advertising is welcome. This however is primarily an escort review site.

[DouglasReynholm]

SPs mascaraing? Can't blame 'em for slapping on the makeup Davie. Especially not trannies.

After I'd fucked her:
Do you know about computers?
Yes, some.
Well you can fix mine and don't expect any money because I know it's something simple.
I paid you and you're something simple.
Wot?
Good bye.

What's here AW number? Did you review her?

Not the rudest but a trifle odd...
Don't ask for anal cos I had a curry last night. 

Same girl as above ?

[mh]

Hidden Image/Members Only

My god, each to their own, but while I can understand why some men like massive boobs, I do not understand how someone can get turned on by fake boobs on such a scale. It has all the appeal to me of seeing a woman wearing these:

Hidden Image/Members Only

[winkywanky]

It has all the appeal to me of seeing a woman wearing these:

Hidden Image/Members Only

I have to say, those ears would be rather good to hang on to during a vigorous bout of doggy? She'd also hear you cumming a mile off  .

[sparkus]

I have to say, those ears would be rather good to hang on to during a vigorous bout of doggy? She'd also hear you cumming a mile off  .

Aural sex anyone?

[Plan R]

Girls will be boys and boys will be girls, it's a mixed-up, muddled-up, shook-up world except for
PreOpDolly

[Bonker]

SPs mascaraing? Can't blame 'em for slapping on the makeup Davie. Especially not trannies.
  What's here AW number? Did you review her?
Same girl as above ?

Both a long time ago Douglas

[sparkus]

Girls will be boys and boys will be girls, it's a mixed-up, muddled-up, shook-up world except for
PreOpDolly

Now, I'm not the world's most physical guy

[Bonker]

er Passionate sparkus, not physical

[winkywanky]

Aural sex anyone?

So long as you syringe with warm olive oil immediately afterwards.

[winkywanky]

Now, I'm not the world's most physical guy

You mean you almost fell for Pre-Op Dolly?

[sparkus]

You mean you almost fell for Pre-Op Dolly?

Thankfully due to Tier 3 there was no chance of champagne all night in a club down in Old Soho, so no chance of that.

[sparkus]

er Passionate sparkus, not physical

Third verse is "physical", sixth verse is "passionate".

[Bonker]

You're right. I beg your pardon.

[jordan452]

I do not understand how someone can get turned on by fake boobs on such a scale. It has all the appeal to me of seeing a woman wearing these:

Hidden Image/Members Only

The difference is you can get a great tit wank with the first image.
 
As for the second I’m not sure ear wanks are a thing yet.

[Blackpool Rock]

The difference is you can get a great tit wank with the first image.
 
As for the second I’m not sure ear wanks are a thing yet.

Nah my ex used to like me sticking it her ear, every time I went to put it in her mouth she'd turn her head 90 degrees 

[spiralnotebook]

Reminds me of the old forces adage  “Put your cock in his ear and fuck some sense into him”.

 

[mr.bluesky]

So if u do come see me don’t u dare write here her boobs were too big or ill have u hung drawn n quartered 

You can never have too big boobs. It's like saying you can never have too much money or too much beer. The only thing you can have is too much time on your hands 

[bradlershaw]

Bearing in mind this is a good 20 years ago when I was a lot thinner , at a gang bang the young lady performing mentioned to me she was doing a old fat guy porn shoot the next week , if I wanted to take part. Was actually very tempted but the logistics with taking a HIV test and the risk and also the possibility of being outed was just too much.

[tynetunnel]

You can never have too big boobs. It's like saying you can never have too much money or too much beer. The only thing you can have is too much time on your hands 

My moobs are too big! 

[Bonker]

Reminds me of the old forces adage  “Put your cock in his ear and fuck some sense into him”.

 

I once put my dick up a WGs nose.
What are you doing? she cried.
Fuck nose, sez I.

Another time I put both my balls in a WGs mouth. She hated it and complained bitterly.
Stop spouting bollocks, I said.

[sparkus]

I once put my dick up a WGs nose.
What are you doing? she cried.
Fuck nose, sez I.

Another time I put both my balls in a WGs mouth. She hated it and complained bitterly.
Stop spouting bollocks, I said.

Seriously mate, get this in the Off Topic Joke Thread, would improve things.

[mh]

Nah my ex used to like me sticking it her ear, every time I went to put it in her mouth she'd turn her head 90 degrees 

We've all been there... 

[winkywanky]

Nah my ex used to like me sticking it her ear, every time I went to put it in her mouth she'd turn her head 90 degrees 

Somewhow I missed that one   

[Bonker]

Seriously mate, get this in the Off Topic Joke Thread, would improve things.

Fair point

[Bonker]

Once a Rom told me she couldn't suck my dick cos my belly was too big. It isn't very big, just another ploy. One of the many reasons I gave up Roms.

[winkywanky]

Sounds to me like her forehead was too big? 

[B4bcock]

Once a Rom told me she couldn't suck my dick cos my belly was too big. It isn't very big, just another ploy. One of the many reasons I gave up Roms.

Sounds to me like she was trying to be polite cos you've got a tiny dick, mate.

Just saying, like.   

[Blackpool Rock]

Once a Rom told me she couldn't suck my dick cos my belly was too big. It isn't very big, just another ploy. One of the many reasons I gave up Roms.

Sorry was this a Romulan from Star Trek 



Hidden Image/Members Only

[winkywanky]

They do all seem to have that severe look, don't they?

[winkywanky]

Sorry was this a Romulan from Star Trek 

Hidden Image/Members Only

In actual fact, you can see the girl has a point about a beer gut getting in the way of a blowjob.

Check out the front of her head. She has a dent in it from previous beer gut encounters  .

[bbwandy72]

My god, each to their own, but while I can understand why some men like massive boobs, I do not understand how someone can get turned on by fake boobs on such a scale.

We're all different. I like enormous boobs, real or fake. The bigger the better. They turn me on. I find it baffling how many around here seem to like the look of flat chested, plain looking girls. But there's something out there for everyone.

[stayer]

Back in the '80s I booked an Australian, £80 for 45 minutes, a lot of money then but she had the voluptuous figure I liked and she kissed - not common in those days. I had a good time and booked her again a few months later. At the end of the punt, whilst lying on her bed having happily wanked off on her tits, she said that I was mechanical, she didn't do what she had planned and she didn't want to see me again. I remain mildly amazed that she would say such a thing to a satisfied customer.

[Bonker]

Just to clarify...
My belly isn't very big and my dick is manoeuvrable to many angles. It was a rom excuse after I complained about the 30 second suck. Also, I've discovered through extensive experimentation, that it protrudes many inches past my gut.

She was a Romanian not a romulan, I'm pretty sure. But she did klingon to my money.

[crfc]

Is it in yet?   

[gbyld87]

Is it in yet?   

I've had a girl ask me how it felt and I genuinely didn't realise it was already in.  She must've wondered what the fuck was wrong with me as I obviously hadn't flinched or changed expression at all but Jesus Christ I honestly couldn't notice a fucking thing.

[spiralnotebook]

At a punt in one of the Crewe parlours I was asked if I’d like any extras and I said would anal be ok. The girl says let’s have a look at the size of your cock nods then opens the door and shouts down to reception “HE WANTS ANAL, GOT ANY KY?”

A most deflating exit.

 

[oddson1970]

At a punt in one of the Crewe parlours I was asked if I’d like any extras and I said would anal be ok. The girl says let’s have a look at the size of your cock nods then opens the door and shouts down to reception “HE WANTS ANAL, GOT ANY KY?”

A most deflating exit.

 

a compliment surely

[Helloyou75001]

"Finish?" repeated every 30s...

[Coriniumstud]

Have you cum yet, my jaw is aching

[sparkus]

"Finish?" repeated every 30s...

Oh god yes. I always say "You'll know about it when I have"

[SayLess]

Had something similar from a WG when I was fucking her arse....”you have the perfect sized cock for anal “......I also wasn’t sure if it was a compliment or an insult

Probably not quite a compliment but more like relief on her part. But let's face it, size doesn't matter at all - what matters is what feels good. And what feels good depends on the combination of your size and her size together in each particular scenario (anal, oral, various positions).