No 1 Thai, Newcastle - legit massage

[Weatherman21]

External Link/Members Only

Comms.  Rang ahead and got a booking for later in the day.

Price. £40

Location.  On Pink Lane.  Was very quiet the time I visited.  Not the most discrete of places however it’s 100% legit.

Covid precautions.  Temperature taken on arrival.  Mask worn throughout. Hand gel and hand towel given for use if you needed to toilet. 

This came about after my planned punt starting messing me around to the point I cancelled.

I asked for Nan who I usually see here but she wasn’t working.  Saw another lady.  No name given, late 40’s curvier lady.  Didn’t get her name but pleasant enough.  Asked to strip to my boxers and lay on the table.  What followed was the most brutal beating I’ve had outside a bar fight.  It wasn’t pleasant or relaxing at all.  I should of just paid one if you lot to knee me in the back for an hour.  For those who like wrestling.  She had me in a Boston Crab, figure 4 leg lock and a full nelson. 

My reason for a neutral is I’ve an injury from a RTA many years ago.  She kept kneeing me there and trying to work out knots.  Despite me asking her to stop on a few occasions.  At one point I had tears in my eyes as the pain was too much.  I think she must of been thrown out the Thai secret police torture squad for overstepping the mark!!   

Currently I’m aching all over.

Conclusion.  If pain is your thing go see this lady. 

[waynekerr600]

Thanks for the review.

At least you've got a month to recover before they open again 

[jackaroo2]

Sorry but  . It was a really entertaining read, so thanks very much. It does sound kind of fun if it wasn't for the RTA issue and no relief at the end other than the actual getting out of the place.

[Silent69]

I'm sorry OP but I laughed at this.Hope your next massage is more relaxing

[Weatherman21]

Further info. Not long after this massage/ torture I started having issues with both Achilles’ tendons, which is requiring ongoing physiotherapy.  Obviously I can’t prove this massage was the cause.  However I’ve never had issues with my Achilles before.

[bbanks]

Funny, your experience mirrors my only visit to a Thai masseuse (albeit a Thai ladyboy) and I recall having the shit beaten out of me for best part of an hour. I don’t know what it is about living in Thailand that puts so much stress on the muscles and joints that has necessitated such an abusive form of ‘massage’ to be developed. It’s like an ancient martial art that has been formed in the backstreets of Bangkok in expectation of an imminent invasion by a totalitarian superpower, and only guerilla massage techniques can weaken the enemy troops. There’s a joke about Shaolin Monk combat to be made I’m sure, but I’m not funny enough to make it