External Link/Members Only£25-for-one-hour-salford-manchester/1380965409
Telephone: 07306146442
Cost £25 per hour plus £10 HR
Terrible! Terrible! Terrible!! Wish I'd walked.
I thought I'd TOFTT when I saw this advert appear. Since I couldn't find anything on here and it was only £25 p/h, I thought "fuck it, I'll take a risk".
Initial comms were a little slow - she needed constant prompting to get an answer to my question(s). When she did respond, they were quite flirty with kisses and love hearts so thought, I'm guaranteed some form of fun.
Don't be deceived by this guys though. They reel you in with flowery responses and before you know it, you're having a fat Chinese bird sat on top of you kneading you like she's putting a shift in at Warburtons bakery!
Anyway, managed to get booked in and off I popped.
10 minutes before my appointment time, I had a succession of phone calls and messages asking "where am I?". Once parked up, I called to get full address and reassure her that I was coming.
The premises are an indiscreet massage shop on the main road just off the A580. Easy enough to get to and parking in one of the side streets. Luckily front door was open, so I was able to walk in straightaway without any nosy looks.
On entering the shop, I was met by my masseuse. I now wish I'd turned on my heels and scarpered.
Cindy is, as far as I could tell, Chinese. Small puffy eyes, around 5'4" in height, with a fairly large belly (looked like a pregnant tum, though I wasn't gonna ask in case she took offence) and tiny tits.
She was dressed in what I can only describe as huge flowery shorts/skirt that resembled grandma knickers that were pulled all the way up to her tits (covering her belly) and a matching top/bra covering her tiny droopy tits.
As I said, I should have made my excuses and left at this point, but thought, if nothing else, a decent massage at £25 is still a bargain, so went ahead and paid her.
Into the dimly lit room was a proper massage table with a towel and onto which she unrolled the standard paper you get in most places. She left me to get undressed and stash the cash and returned just as I was climbing onto the table.
The massage itself was totally bizarre. To start with, she put on a mask and rubber gloves. Pointless especially as these would be discarded on turnover!
Straight from the off, it was pretty obvious she was gonna offer more. Started by massaging my shoulders and taking my hands and placing them on her arse. There was absolutely no structure and she flitted between my shoulders, my legs, my arse and intermittently grabbing my cock from underneath.
The point of a massage is relaxation, but I was getting wound up by her ineptitude and lack of structure.
She then decided to climb on top of me and grind her knees and hands into my back. This was followed by what can only be described as slaps to my back and arse!
At one point she took one arm and pulled it towards my back and then sat on it with my hand wedged between her pussy! Not sensual or sexy in the slightest. She then took my other arm and pulled it in front of me and wedged it between her legs and sort of dry humped it!
In between the "massage" she left the room twice as she was feeling suffocated in the mask. The final time she left, she returned with a washing up bowl filled with soapy water (wouldn't be surprised if it was Fairy liquid) and proceeded to wash my back and arse crack. After an inordinate amount of time scrubbing between my arse cheeks, she instructed me to turn over.
No pretence of a massage once I was on my back and she grabbed at my cock and asked if I wanted a hand job. There was no doubt what she was offering, as she followed her question by making a circle with her fingers and placing 2 fingers from the other hand in the hole to indicate what she was offering lest I hadn't understood "hand job"!!
At this point I'd totally lost interest and really wasn't bothered with a hand job, so when she wanted £40 I countered with £10.
There was a bit of an attempt at negotiation on her part trying to extract more money, but I held firm. I was quite happy to leave frustrated in more ways than one, but she eventually relented and agreed on what I had offered her initially.
In fairness to her, the hand job wasn't too bad, though the unexpected finger in my jacksie did take me by surprise.
She carried on milking me even after I had cum and it got to a point where I had to move her hand away as it was getting painful.
Back to the washing up bowl for the washcloth to continue where she had left off and proceeded to scrub my cock and nether regions. Once she was satisfied that my cock was pristine, she buggered off to wash her hands and which I took to mean the massage was over.
45 minutes after I'd entered, I was back in my car reflecting on the most bizarre massage I'd ever had!
Would I return? Would I fuck!
Not recommended in the slightest. If anything, she'd have to pay me £25 to return.
