Frustrating visit...and not Jasmine surely?-Hall Green B28

[Jokerinpack]

External Link/Members Only

Hi, quick review of this place. Read a number of positives here and decided to test. Was told on texts that Jasmine is only one working and that ‘ you look after me I look good after you’! So I went in and greeted by a masked lady in red dress and leggings. She’s about a size 12/14 build with C/D chebs. In any case, £40 for hour and massage was ok at best; I’ve had many better ones tbh. Suddenly at 20 mins in, the doorbell goes and a guy is let in. He sounds a bit simple tbh and talks a bit overly loud but she’s asking him to sit for 30 mins. He goes to toilet and she comes in and continues but now we can hear him shuffling about and then calls someone on his mobile and loud convo! She’s distracted and the whole flow has gone to pot. 10 mins later he shouts, ‘ how long you gonna be?’ 😂 And then she mutters in Chinese and then shouts to him and so on...This goes on till 40 mins into massage and then she stops out to talk to him again and between his slow English and her chinese limited English I’m left listening with the door fully open. Then she shouts someone angrily and I hear another Chinese lady’s voice? She then returns to me and has the odd Cc swipe but this isn’t anything as described by previous reviews. She then takes her bottoms off and asks if I want anything else so I offer £30 b2b and she says ok. She then tells me she will call other lady who does this?! And steps out to now talk to the other guy again and let’s him leave because he’s not waiting now?! He’s fucked my whole visit 🙄 along with her letting him and now he leaves, she steps out and in comes Lucy. She’s not that tall, stocky with a belly overhang . Anyways I asked for a hand finish and got out of there.

All in all...I have to say that was 💩. Can’t believe this is the same people as described by other reviewers. And the whole disturbed visit you just have to laugh it off as a comedy of errors. Oh well.

[kingkong69]

Wtf i would walk out even with a boner is so unprofessional

[Jasonk71]

External Link/Members Only

Hi, quick review of this place. Read a number of positives here and decided to test. Was told on texts that Jasmine is only one working and that ‘ you look after me I look good after you’! So I went in and greeted by a masked lady in red dress and leggings. She’s about a size 12/14 build with C/D chebs. In any case, £40 for hour and massage was ok at best; I’ve had many better ones tbh. Suddenly at 20 mins in, the doorbell goes and a guy is let in. He sounds a bit simple tbh and talks a bit overly loud but she’s asking him to sit for 30 mins. He goes to toilet and she comes in and continues but now we can hear him shuffling about and then calls someone on his mobile and loud convo! She’s distracted and the whole flow has gone to pot. 10 mins later he shouts, ‘ how long you gonna be?’ 😂 And then she mutters in Chinese and then shouts to him and so on...This goes on till 40 mins into massage and then she stops out to talk to him again and between his slow English and her chinese limited English I’m left listening with the door fully open. Then she shouts someone angrily and I hear another Chinese lady’s voice? She then returns to me and has the odd Cc swipe but this isn’t anything as described by previous reviews. She then takes her bottoms off and asks if I want anything else so I offer £30 b2b and she says ok. She then tells me she will call other lady who does this?! And steps out to now talk to the other guy again and let’s him leave because he’s not waiting now?! He’s fucked my whole visit 🙄 along with her letting him and now he leaves, she steps out and in comes Lucy. She’s not that tall, stocky with a belly overhang . Anyways I asked for a hand finish and got out of there.

All in all...I have to say that was 💩. Can’t believe this is the same people as described by other reviewers. And the whole disturbed visit you just have to laugh it off as a comedy of errors. Oh well.

You seem to be good at having shit punts

[Jokerinpack]

Ha. As I’ve said before, I don’t report back every decent punt because they’re usually on well reviewed places. Yes, another positive review can be helpful if recent but a negative that explains what happened might help you all more. On the other hand I might have high standards but no apology made!

[oldmanking]

there's nothing more likely to ruin a punt for me than this sort of shenanigans going on.  reason why i avoid erdington shop she used to run is because of that gap over top of dividing wall that means you hear everything from next room & front lounge.  occasionally noises from another room have added to the willingness of my masseur; one time in bearwood next to bear tavern; & one time in that erdington shop; but rarely.

i'd give it a negative too, unless she'd been willing to add time on for mid massage madness? 

[dog999]

I wonder if the guy waiting for a tug is lurking on here?.

[Littlefoot]

Sorry you had to endure that experience op. Bloke sounds a right soft top, wonder if it was stapler or his brother. 

[Jokerinpack]

The guy who was waiting did sound ‘ simple’. He spoke a but like Trig out of only fools lol. But slower and elevated voice like he would at a market! The masseuse said ( if I understood her broken English) that she let’s him in because he wants to only look up her skirt and is not right in the head?! This was because I mentioned that the relaxation had all but gone due to his shouting and her being distracted. It’s a shame as the place has had so many positive reviews. I’m in London this week so it’s time to try Hayes or Surrey!

[The Owl]

Sorry about the shit punt OP. Sounds like a fucking nightmare.

I wonder if someone will post another review about how he had to wait for so long in the shop that he walked. 

[shiptonlad]

I was planning my first post lockdown punt here this week in the hope that it was "the" Lucy working there.
Think I might go somewhere else. Has anyone experience of Jenny at Cotteridge.

[Littlefoot]

The guy who was waiting did sound ‘ simple’. He spoke a but like Trig out of only fools lol. But slower and elevated voice like he would at a market! The masseuse said ( if I understood her broken English) that she let’s him in because he wants to only look up her skirt and is not right in the head?! This was because I mentioned that the relaxation had all but gone due to his shouting and her being distracted. It’s a shame as the place has had so many positive reviews. I’m in London this week so it’s time to try Hayes or Surrey!

Sounds like she let him in knowing he could be a right pain in the arse. 

[lagosmargaret]

JiP,your review is v.credible to me.Your description of Jasmine and her Modus Operandi is bang on! 

I had a galling experience here v.recently.Phoned up as I was in the area,told that only Jasmine was working (must be wised up that 2+ girls in premises could attract interest from the Blue Boys etc) and asked to come at  X time-nearly an hour later!

Rode the buses to kill time,arrived a few mins before my slot + fired off an arrival text.No reply.Walked through 1st door + rang bell,facing away from the nearby traffic.Waited for a few mins,during which another guy came + parked himself up my butt in the recess/doorway-embarassing    .Should've immediately walked,but would've needed to barge past him ! Jasmine eventually came to open,dressed as you described.Immediately recognised her  as the "Door Supervisor" from my visit to Nat Therapy,Cotteridge.

Let me in + "my man" cheekily followed  ! Other guy told her that he'd phoned for this slot,listened to their exchange while burying my nose in the phone shamefacedly. Protracted convo between them 'cause of her lisp + 100mph speech rate.Ended up with her bringing chairs for us to wait ! Made my excuses + left - should've done long before.

Double- booked the slot,poor logistics,potential long wait with conveyor belt service  ,+ v.importantly, INDISCREET.

Better luck next time.
LM   

[ulstersubbie]

You seem to be good at having shit punts

I was thinking that. Op has 15 reviews, only two are positive, could be bad luck I suppose.

[oldmanking]

I was thinking that. Op has 15 reviews, only two are positive, could be bad luck I suppose.

are you suggesting he gives off bad vibes, that the sp's pick up on, and therefore don't wish to give him a good service?   these chinese girls are culturally into good manners & continual compliments.

[Jasonk71]

I was thinking that. Op has 15 reviews, only two are positive, could be bad luck I suppose.

He only reviews certain punts ie the shit ones that he has

[Jokerinpack]

As I’ve said...I’ve had many good experiences but I really don’t have the time and inclination to repeat a positive because I expect you’ll all go if a place is good. Now if I have a poor experience, then I expect you’d like to hear in case it differs with what’s been said. Ultimately, if the reader ignores my review that’s their choice! Those that have agreed with similar recent experiences will know what I mean. I’m just adding to the feedback, not looking for praise or otherwise.

[Jokerinpack]

JiP,your review is v.credible to me.Your description of Jasmine and her Modus Operandi is bang on! 

I had a galling experience here v.recently.Phoned up as I was in the area,told that only Jasmine was working (must be wised up that 2+ girls in premises could attract interest from the Blue Boys etc) and asked to come at  X time-nearly an hour later!

Rode the buses to kill time,arrived a few mins before my slot + fired off an arrival text.No reply.Walked through 1st door + rang bell,facing away from the nearby traffic.Waited for a few mins,during which another guy came + parked himself up my butt in the recess/doorway-embarassing    .Should've immediately walked,but would've needed to barge past him ! Jasmine eventually came to open,dressed as you described.Immediately recognised her  as the "Door Supervisor" from my visit to Nat Therapy,Cotteridge.

Let me in + "my man" cheekily followed  ! Other guy told her that he'd phoned for this slot,listened to their exchange while burying my nose in the phone shamefacedly. Protracted convo between them 'cause of her lisp + 100mph speech rate.Ended up with her bringing chairs for us to wait ! Made my excuses + left - should've done long before.

Double- booked the slot,poor logistics,potential long wait with conveyor belt service  ,+ v.importantly, INDISCREET.

Better luck next time.
LM   

Thanks for this. Clearly you’ve had the same sort of visit and I’ll wait for another report to see if that changes. I don’t live in Birmingham so it won’t be a big loss to never go again.