Warning: this is a review of a TS escort.External Link/Members Only or
External Link/Members OnlyThis would have been my first punt in nearly five months and was arranged on the day I got back to the UK post-lockdown.
The bad outcome was my own fault due to lack of due diligence. But after spending far too long on research, all the time cross-referencing UKP with AW, I'd got absolutely nowhere. All the girls I tried either didn't reply or were not available. So on the afternoon in question I just looked to see which trans escorts had their AW green light on in London.
Amelia was on tour from her usual base in Leicester* and I hadn't noticed her profile before. I thought she looked cute, her blurb seemed intelligent and encouraging, and finding a Brit girl is a bonus in the trans world.
Why didn't I look her up on UKP instead of just calling and setting off? Part laziness and part boredom with the whole process. Had I done so I would have found a review telling me what I eventually discovered... she looks NOTHING like her pictures.
She was staying in a little hotel a few minutes' walk from Earls Court tube station. Comms were smooth and efficient and once I was there she gave me the room number and told me to walk straight in and take the lift. Her voice sounded more masculine that feminine on the phone but that doesn't bother me usually.
When she opened the door I could just about discern that this was the person in the profile pics, but they are flattering to a ridiculous degree. When not carefully posed, her face looks more male than female despite the makeup, and although she was wearing a wide and heavy kind of dress, it was still possible to tell that she's a big old lump.
I needed a pee and this gave me time to work out what I was going to say. The small part of my brain that was telling me to stay and see how it went was silenced when I noticed that there were no clean towels in the bathroom – just one soaking wet one on the shower door and one on the floor of the shower. So as well as misleading guys about her appearance, she wasn't bothering to look after them either.
When I stepped out of the bathroom she asked me how long I wanted to stay for and I just told her, "Sorry love, I've changed my mind, but here's £40 for the trouble you've gone to."
She took it and actually said: "Oh, bless you!" I got the impression she must be used to walkouts.
It was a bit generous in the circumstances but I'm flush at the moment and was glad to get out without any nasty words. I immediately found a nearby Thai girl (female this time) to spend an hour with. That wasn't the most brilliant time I've ever had either... review to follow.
*Didn't occur to me until afterwards that Leicester is the city in special lockdown measures. Maybe that's another bullet dodged!Edit: only just remembered another thing – she asked me write my first name and phone number in a notebook, saying "It's for track and trace". I did so when I first came out of the bathroom before saying I was leaving – it was my punting name and punting phone number, of course, both of which she already had.
