Author Topic: Dating a prossie. Is it as bad an idea as it sounds?  (Read 106085 times)

Offline Nacholibre

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WTF? Most  immoral trade in history?
So providing sexual relief or enjoyment for a mutually agreed amount of money is immoral?
Or at least worse than say, selling someone heroin mixed with bleach.
Or taking betting money from someone who you know can't afford to lose it.
Or being a slum landlord.
Give your head a wobble.

Head wobbled at your behest.
You are quite right . Far worse heinous things in life

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Offline winkywanky

You are getting confused between immoral and illegal, until it was reworded the offence was 'living off immoral earnings' in relation to prostitution.


I think I'm right in saying a WG never got prosecuted for living off immoral earnings, that law wasn't intended for them, it was intended for their pimps.

Offline Nacholibre

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I've accumulated a sizeable punting fund during the lockdowns and the last thing I want to do is get banned and not share my reviews when we finally get through lockdown

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Offline winkywanky

As for the immoral aspect, of course that changes with the wind, ie what society considers to be immoral.

As Mr. Mills and Bhuna suggested, in terms of immorality, IMO prostitution is far outweighed by selling someone heroin mixed with bleach, taking betting money from someone who you know can't afford to lose it, or being a slum landlord.


Online daviemac

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I think I'm right in saying a WG never got prosecuted for living off immoral earnings, that law wasn't intended for them, it was intended for their pimps.
That's right, selling sex is not illegal, making money from others selling sex is. Those who are forced or coerced are treated as victims.


Online daviemac

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I've accumulated a sizeable punting fund during the lockdowns and the last thing I want to do is get banned and not share my reviews when we finally get through lockdown
I don't know why you would think you would be banned. The fact is, with a few exceptions, prostitution is legal, things like selling drugs are not. Immoral and illegal can't be compared.


Offline berksboy

+1

Also have been in a relationship where it was known from the outset, it took him a while to come to terms with it and realise it’s only a job, we successfully managed it and it’s been kept completely separate. Boyfriends don’t compare to punters and can confidently say this job has not interfered with that relation. Apples and oranges as someone else already said.

It’s not easy but it’s definitely possible with the right person.

Another matter:

The comments from some saying we have no agency, no control and no other options are quite revealing. It’s not true in a lot of cases. Prostitution helped me immensely in every way imaginable, never been coerced to start and have zero regrets of starting. Maybe just one regret - not starting earlier. In fact only now I am able to live the life I actually want to live, with options otherwise not existing with a “normal job”. Many do have other options and this option is what works best for us.

Even more amusing (and frustrating) to hear that from radfems who allegedly want to “rescue” and yet have often no interest to actually speak to the very hookers  they’re trying to “rescue”. They love to pretend they know better than us and what’s better for us. If they do engage, we are told to experience “false consciousness”, we really are oppressed even if we think we aren’t, we are endorsing and enabling human trafficking and all this is just one massive “paid rape”. It’s quite easy for them to go from “poor women need to be saved” to “shut up whore we know better than you” type of rhetoric.

Gross.
Very well put
« Last Edit: January 25, 2021, 11:08:34 pm by berksboy »

Offline Kev40ish

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You are getting confused between immoral and illegal, until it was reworded the offence was 'living off immoral earnings' in relation to prostitution.

Just because something is illegal doesn’t mean it is immoral. It’s all subjective..
I would rather live my life with morality rather than necessarily legally if I don’t agree with the law..

Online daviemac

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Just because something is illegal doesn’t mean it is immoral. It’s all subjective..
I would rather live my life with morality rather than necessarily legally if I don’t agree with the law..
I did not say it was, read my post again.

Offline Kev40ish

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I did not say it was, read my post again.

You said also:

“ Immoral and illegal can't be compared.”
I was saying it doesn’t really matter, just because something is legal it may not be morally right. So they can be compared and people do it all the time with the decisions they make.

I am sure you like anyone else push the boundaries of what is legal everyday when you just speed a little bit more than allowed???

Is it morally allowed well that’s only ruled by your conscience!!


Offline king tarzan

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You said also:

“ Immoral and illegal can't be compared.”
I was saying it doesn’t really matter, just because something is legal it may not be morally right. So they can be compared and people do it all the time with the decisions they make.

I am sure you like anyone else push the boundaries of what is legal everyday when you just speed a little bit more than allowed???

Is it morally allowed well that’s only ruled by your conscience!!

Relax Kev..
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Online daviemac

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You said also:

“ Immoral and illegal can't be compared.”
I was saying it doesn’t really matter, just because something is legal it may not be morally right. So they can be compared and people do it all the time with the decisions they make.

I am sure you like anyone else push the boundaries of what is legal everyday when you just speed a little bit more than allowed???

Is it morally allowed well that’s only ruled by your conscience!!
FFS I was talking about one specific post  :dash:

WTF? Most  immoral trade in history?
So providing sexual relief or enjoyment for a mutually agreed amount of money is immoral?
Or at least worse than say, selling someone heroin mixed with bleach.
Or taking betting money from someone who you know can't afford to lose it.
Or being a slum landlord.
Give your head a wobble.
My reply. -
You are getting confused between immoral and illegal, until it was reworded the offence was 'living off immoral earnings' in relation to prostitution.
Then in reply to another poster who thought he might be banned. -
I don't know why you would think you would be banned. The fact is, with a few exceptions, prostitution is legal, things like selling drugs are not. Immoral and illegal can't be compared in the context of the point being discussed

There now I've amended it do you understand the context in which it was meant.

Offline Kev40ish

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Relax Kev..

I am quite relaxed at the moment... just bored with it all. I am following the rules this time and self isolating after getting back from my travels. I haven’t even got a chinese girl supporting me this time through the lockdown.. although only a couple of days left so I’m sure that will change  :cool:

It must be difficult for Daviemac, as anytime he posts anything the newbies think they are going to be banned...

Offline mills_and_bhuna

You are getting confused between immoral and illegal, until it was reworded the offence was 'living off immoral earnings' in relation to prostitution.
I just hate seeing anyone mentioning morality in connection with punting in such an offhand way.
If I thought punting in itself was against what I consider to be my moral principles I wouldn't do it.
If I thought a girl was being trafficked then I wouldn't do it.
If I knew someone was working and trustworthy but the law had changed so that punting was illegal I would have no 'moral' objection to seeing her . My only concern would be getting caught.

Offline Hobbit

Not sure how, he wasn’t a walking wallet or a charity organisation. Of course when we went out he’d pay but apart from that I wasn’t actually taking anything from him. Not all prossies are out to get you  :angelgirl:

But you do have a point, marriage is probably the costliest punt of all, and not always consistent service wise  :sarcastic:

When I say paying I don't just mean paying in terms of monetary terms. There are different ways of paying for a service. Some women want kids, some want a house, et cetera. These are just several ways you can look at how you end up paying for sex. I think you and I will have to agree to disagree on this because some guys will understand what I'm talking about.

I don't think and never said that hookers are out to get me, not sure where you got that idea from, insecurity perhaps or an over identification?

Offline Watts.E.Dunn

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You pay for sex in one way or another, even in the sixites free lurve was never ever free!...

Offline LilithNoir

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When I say paying I don't just mean paying in terms of monetary terms. There are different ways of paying for a service. Some women want kids, some want a house, et cetera. These are just several ways you can look at how you end up paying for sex. I think you and I will have to agree to disagree on this because some guys will understand what I'm talking about.

I don't think and never said that hookers are out to get me, not sure where you got that idea from, insecurity perhaps or an over identification?

Well, I actually didn’t want anything from this person materially :)

Wasn’t even referring to you, just talked in general terms. Not every hooker just wants to scam *a guy* out of his money. Over identification...? thanks.
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Offline Hobbit

Well, I actually didn’t want anything from this person materially :)

Wasn’t even referring to you, just talked in general terms. Not every hooker just wants to scam *a guy* out of his money. Over identification...? thanks.

That's great then. So you won't mind him sitting in his pyjamas all day watching Netflix and doing nothing else?  :D

Offline Hobbit

You pay for sex in one way or another, even in the sixites free lurve was never ever free!...

Spot on.  :thumbsup:

Offline HoldMichaels

That's great then. So you won't mind him sitting in his pyjamas all day watching Netflix and doing nothing else?  :D

Not wanting someone for their money and not putting up with a non-contributing partner are two different things though... At least, in my mind... A one-sided relationship is a one-sided relationship, regardless of the other person's job (or lack thereof)...

On topic though, I dated, many years ago now, an 'adult model'... she also escorted. While I didn't really need to hear the ins & outs (no pun intended!) of her day at work, it really didn't bother me. Sex and relationships are two different things, she allowed them access to her body, but I got the whole package. When it ended - as often things do - it wasn't about her work... and it was  - probably surprisingly to some - this ugly bugger who ended it.  :scare:

Offline cotton

Not wanting someone for their money and not putting up with a non-contributing partner are two different things though... At least, in my mind... A one-sided relationship is a one-sided relationship, regardless of the other person's job (or lack thereof)...

On topic though, I dated, many years ago now, an 'adult model'... she also escorted. While I didn't really need to hear the ins & outs (no pun intended!) of her day at work, it really didn't bother me. Sex and relationships are two different things, she allowed them access to her body, but I got the whole package. When it ended - as often things do - it wasn't about her work... and it was  - probably surprisingly to some - this ugly bugger who ended it.  :scare:
So why did you end the relationship , you might say it was nothing to do with her being a prossie but everything spills into everything else , maybe the reason why you ditxched her was indirectly related to her work  :unknown:

Offline HoldMichaels

So why did you end the relationship , you might say it was nothing to do with her being a prossie but everything spills into everything else , maybe the reason why you ditxched her was indirectly related to her work  :unknown:

Not in the least - when she decided she was mad at me, she wouldn't speak to me for days. I just had enough of that. Not at all work related.  :unknown:

Offline Hobbit

Not in the least - when she decided she was mad at me, she wouldn't speak to me for days. I just had enough of that. Not at all work related.  :unknown:

I really dislike those kinds of people.

Offline cotton

Not in the least - when she decided she was mad at me, she wouldn't speak to me for days. I just had enough of that. Not at all work related.  :unknown:
Yeh so if we diagnose her as mentally unstable , we can say you ditched her because of that , her working as a hooker was just an offshoot of her personality which in itself wasnt the immediate problem for you.
What you need is a hooker with a sweet and kind temperament , the 6 million dollar question is does that kind of hooker exist or is there just an undeniable tendency that hooking and being mentally unstable goes hand in hand.

Offline Hobbit

Not wanting someone for their money and not putting up with a non-contributing partner are two different things though... At least, in my mind... A one-sided relationship is a one-sided relationship, regardless of the other person's job (or lack thereof)...

On topic though, I dated, many years ago now, an 'adult model'... she also escorted. While I didn't really need to hear the ins & outs (no pun intended!) of her day at work, it really didn't bother me. Sex and relationships are two different things, she allowed them access to her body, but I got the whole package. When it ended - as often things do - it wasn't about her work... and it was  - probably surprisingly to some - this ugly bugger who ended it.  :scare:

My point was that women say they only want men for their personality and nothing else matters as long as "we love each other" but we all know that's bullshit because it's not just good personality they want. It's kids, a home, financial support and the whole fuckin kitchen sink. And then when they leave they want the dog as well. 

Offline Watts.E.Dunn

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My point was that women say they only want men for their personality and nothing else matters as long as "we love each other" but we all know that's bullshit because it's not just good personality they want. It's kids, a home, financial support and the whole fuckin kitchen sink. And then when they leave they want the dog as well.

Err No, Mate! they want as many mill of squids as their lawyer can wrangle from you BTGTTS etc:-(

Offline mrfishyfoo

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My point was that women say they only want men for their personality and nothing else matters as long as "we love each other" but we all know that's bullshit because it's not just good personality they want. It's kids, a home, financial support and the whole fuckin kitchen sink. And then when they leave they want the dog as well.

WRONG !!!  :dash: :dash:

When YOU leave they keep the home and kids with them and YOU still have to pay for it.  :hi: :hi:

Which is why I pay a pro$$ie as there's no strings attached.  :music: :music:


« Last Edit: January 26, 2021, 02:05:44 pm by mrfishyfoo »

Offline Kev40ish

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My point was that women say they only want men for their personality and nothing else matters as long as "we love each other" but we all know that's bullshit because it's not just good personality they want. It's kids, a home, financial support and the whole fuckin kitchen sink. And then when they leave they want the dog as well.

Fuck your a bitter person.

Men want the same someone to come home to, wash and cook for them, look after their kids for them, go out to work as well as doing all these other things, as most men don’t earn enough nowadays..

Offline Hobbit

Yeh so if we diagnose her as mentally unstable , we can say you ditched her because of that , her working as a hooker was just an offshoot of her personality which in itself wasnt the immediate problem for you.
What you need is a hooker with a sweet and kind temperament , the 6 million dollar question is does that kind of hooker exist or is there just an undeniable tendency that hooking and being mentally unstable goes hand in hand.

It depends on how long they have been escorting and what they have done. For example, if it's heavy PSE stuff for years then it most probably will have a long-term mental effect but it depends on the individual and their personality and if they can detach worklife to personal life.

Offline Bandasun

Also have been in a relationship where it was known from the outset, it took him a while to come to terms with it and realise it’s only a job, we successfully managed it and it’s been kept completely separate. Boyfriends don’t compare to punters and can confidently say this job has not interfered with that relation. Apples and oranges as someone else already said.

I dated a girl who I first met when she was an escort. After a couple of 'professional' dates (and when we knew the dynamic was changing) we went away on holiday together. On the first night in the hotel she told me the sex would be different, and it very much was: she had clearly kept a big part of herself separate, and reserved that part for genuine relationships.

Offline Hobbit

Fuck your a bitter person.

Men want the same someone to come home to, wash and cook for them, look after their kids for them, go out to work as well as doing all these other things, as most men don’t earn enough nowadays..

Good luck. You won't find women like that nowadays. It's rare or they're taken.

Offline HoldMichaels

I really dislike those kinds of people.

Wasn't a massive fan of the behaviour myself.  :lol: I mean, I know she was 23 at the time, but it's just really childish...

Offline HoldMichaels

Yeh so if we diagnose her as mentally unstable , we can say you ditched her because of that , her working as a hooker was just an offshoot of her personality which in itself wasnt the immediate problem for you.
What you need is a hooker with a sweet and kind temperament , the 6 million dollar question is does that kind of hooker exist or is there just an undeniable tendency that hooking and being mentally unstable goes hand in hand.

 :lol: :lol: Man you're desperate to twist the facts to suit your desired outcome... Diagnose? Sorry Sigmund, I didn't realise I was speaking to such an expert... I gave my opinion, based on an ACTUAL LIVED EXPERIENCE, but if you're so invested in this 'hookers are worthless as human beings' mindset you have, then so be it.  :unknown:

Offline king tarzan

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When I say paying I don't just mean paying in terms of monetary terms. There are different ways of paying for a service. Some women want kids, some want a house, et cetera. These are just several ways you can look at how you end up paying for sex. I think you and I will have to agree to disagree on this because some guys will understand what I'm talking about.

I don't think and never said that hookers are out to get me, not sure where you got that idea from, insecurity perhaps or an over identification?

That's why I chose to stay single and happy..
No verbal ear bashings..
No noise..
No bullshit..

Just dip it yourself and go 👍👍
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Offline SeriousLee

A truly fascinating thread. I love long threads as they always go off topic at some point and they contain what all memorable threads have, drama and conflict. I appreciate all the comments as they made early January lockdown period more enjoyable.

That aside, dating an escort/prostitute could work or it could not work. Soo many variables involved that listing them all would be pointless but like booking an escort, you need good "comms" for it to work aswell as honesty. Nobody wants the rug pulled out from beneath their feet i.e a B&S.

On a tangent a bit but fucking and marrying a pornstar is deemed a more acceptable thing compared to doing the same with an escort when both jobs are similar with the sole exception being the amount of people one has sex with.

I feel like the majority of the naysayers that are staunchly against the thought of marrying an escort would have an easier time with the idea of successful marriages and relationships with pornstars. The above may not be entirely true for all, or any for that matter, but from reading the majority of the thread, I came to the conclusion.

The argument that you would need to pay the WG or "be the whores cashpoint" as KT put eloquently doesn't hold much truth especially if she is still working as I would assume most earn more than the average punter. Even if she decided to end being an escort before, during or after, I would assume, like in any relationship, she would have her plans and ideas, you would discuss your plans and ideas and the two of you would find a middle ground like adults do.

To be honest, the correct answer is everybody is "right" aswell as being "wrong" too. Never is a true answer when its based on subjectivity.

Offline cotton

:lol: :lol: Man you're desperate to twist the facts to suit your desired outcome... Diagnose? Sorry Sigmund, I didn't realise I was speaking to such an expert... I gave my opinion, based on an ACTUAL LIVED EXPERIENCE, but if you're so invested in this 'hookers are worthless as human beings' mindset you have, then so be it.  :unknown:
Your the one describing events , im just trying to interpret them.  So you actually lived the experience , so was she mentally unstable or not ? You seem to suggest she was  :unknown:
Im not saying hookers are worthless as human beings , quite the opposite , im just asking if what you describe as your real experience of dating a hooker is typical or not ,  does the mental instability and hooking go hand in hand.  Is it possible to find a whore with a heart of gold like in the Jack lemmon film.

Offline HoldMichaels

Your the one describing events , im just trying to interpret them.  So you actually lived the experience , so was she mentally unstable or not ? You seem to suggest she was  :unknown:
Im not saying hookers are worthless as human beings , quite the opposite , im just asking if what you describe as your real experience of dating a hooker is typical or not ,  does the mental instability and hooking go hand in hand.  Is it possible to find a whore with a heart of gold like in the Jack lemmon film.

You've decided she was mentally unstable all on your own, nothing in what I said even hinted at that. She acted childishly, I didn't tolerate it. How you leapt from there to 'mentally unstable' I don't know.

I couldn't tell you if my experience is 'typical' or not - it's probably typical of dating in general, rather than dating a SW. She was actually a lovely girl who always tried to be kind to people (when they hadn't made her mad, anyway  :lol: ), so I guess my lived experience differs from yours... Imagine that.

Offline cotton

You've decided she was mentally unstable all on your own, nothing in what I said even hinted at that. She acted childishly, I didn't tolerate it. How you leapt from there to 'mentally unstable' I don't know.

I couldn't tell you if my experience is 'typical' or not - it's probably typical of dating in general, rather than dating a SW. She was actually a lovely girl who always tried to be kind to people (when they hadn't made her mad, anyway  :lol: ), so I guess my lived experience differs from yours... Imagine that.
You said "when she decided she was mad at me, she wouldn't speak to me for days"
The inference being that she just "decided" she was mad at you , in an erratic , unstable way.  So was it actually your fault she was mad at you , did you behave improperly , was it your fault , not hers  :unknown:
Im just going on what youve said.

Online Doc Holliday

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To be honest, the correct answer is everybody is "right" as well as being "wrong" too. Never is a true answer when its based on subjectivity.

Indeed. The problem is we have no accurate data to draw upon, so any examples of the success or otherwise of relationships with SPs, are at best anecdotal (and many of them are fantasies) or hearsay. This is therefore, as you say, largely subjective.

Lack of data aside, if I was to attempt to 'peer review' this perennial topic, there is also one other major flaw, which is the perception I gain, that a significant proportion of punters have a very dim view of all relationships and subscribe to the view, that if a normal relationship fails and all women are money grabbers out to fleece men 'have their babies' etc ... how can it possible work with an SP?

Offline Thephoenix

We're off into illogical generalisations again..,all sex workers are mentally unstable?.,wow!
I suppose all punters are mentally unstable too.

Everyone's entitled to their opinions, but it seems that some are based on bitter experiences that happened to them in their personal relationships.

Offline HoldMichaels

You said "when she decided she was mad at me, she wouldn't speak to me for days"
The inference being that she just "decided" she was mad at you , in an erratic , unstable way.  So was it actually your fault she was mad at you , did you behave improperly , was it your fault , not hers  :unknown:
Im just going on what youve said.

Oh my god, we're at pedantic phrasing now... Jeez. I was a dickhead, she was a dickhead, say the wrong thing at the wrong time of the month and *boom* - have you never been in a relationship?  :lol:

Offline cotton

Oh my god, we're at pedantic phrasing now... Jeez. I was a dickhead, she was a dickhead, say the wrong thing at the wrong time of the month and *boom* - have you never been in a relationship?  :lol:
Yeh but its just the way that you laid it all on her "she decided she was mad".
So now its seeming more like she came home tired after fucking loads of guys all day and you were there being a dickhead and she just got sick of it , is that the truth , be honest  :unknown:

Offline mrfishyfoo

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We're off into illogical generalisations again..,all sex workers are mentally unstable?.,wow!
I suppose all punters are mentally unstable too.

Everyone's entitled to their opinions, but it seems that some are based on bitter experiences that happened to them in their personal relationships.

That's right  :dash: :dash: and we all have huge cocks if what's written on here by some is to be believed.  :sarcastic: :sarcastic:

PAY
PODGE
PISS OFF

The 3 Pillars of punting.

 :hi: :hi:

Offline HoldMichaels

Yeh but its just the way that you laid it all on her "she decided she was mad".
So now its seeming more like she came home tired after fucking loads of guys all day and you were there being a dickhead and she just got sick of it , is that the truth , be honest  :unknown:

Nope. So much nope.

I can't help but think you're utterly desperate to link it to her work somehow... you aren't actually interested in having an open mind at all, and you simply can't accept that I might have had an absolutely regular relationship with someone who just happened to be an SW.

Offline SunestStripper

My experience of dating an SP I was a regular with didn't work out, not because of the job more my "too good to be true" attitude to the situation, not being myself. Living like it was a fantasy rather than potential serious relationship, leading to at the time my loss.

Offline HoldMichaels

My experience of dating an SP I was a regular with didn't work out, not because of the job more my "too good to be true" attitude to the situation, not being myself. Living like it was a fantasy rather than potential serious relationship, leading to at the time my loss.

You raise an interesting point actually - I wonder if it's a different experience entirely to transition from 'client' to 'partner'... In my case, I was introduced to her via the girl I *was* a regular client of, but in a 'civvie' capacity (sort of - she was shooting for my regular's website) and I ended up dating her, so I never knew her from a 'client' perspective...

Offline cotton

Nope. So much nope.

I can't help but think you're utterly desperate to link it to her work somehow... you aren't actually interested in having an open mind at all, and you simply can't accept that I might have had an absolutely regular relationship with someone who just happened to be an SW.
Ok so when you say "she decided she was mad at me" your saying it was nothing to do with her fucking loads of guys every day , she just got sick of coming home and you being a dickhead, it wasnt like she just decided to be mad at you like she was crazy , it was down to you.

Offline HoldMichaels

Ok so when you say "she decided she was mad at me" your saying it was nothing to do with her fucking loads of guys every day , she just got sick of coming home and you being a dickhead, it wasnt like she just decided to be mad at you like she was crazy , it was down to you.

Just whatever dude. Whatever you want to hear, that's what it was. Whatever the hell fits the narrative in your brain you can't seem to let go of... I think I'll stick to responding to people who are capable of rational thought.

Offline cotton

Just whatever dude. Whatever you want to hear, that's what it was. Whatever the hell fits the narrative in your brain you can't seem to let go of... I think I'll stick to responding to people who are capable of rational thought.
Hey dont have a go at me im just going on what youve said.  First off you say "she decided she was mad at me" like she was some kind of nut-job.  Then you get all offended when i surmise from what you said that she was a bit mentally unstable.  Im just going on what you say ,
So when you say "she decided she was mad at me", what do you mean , like did she just decide to get mad like she was crazy or was it something you did or some external circumstances , like the working as a hooker must have its stresses like any job.
Its interesting to know what the actual problem was , thats the critical point , your personal insight into dating a hooker , what went wrong and why it went wrong and whos fault it was  :unknown: