ChaChaRee @SnarlingThaiPitbull.com : Birmingham

[lagosmargaret]

External Link/Members Only

This woman’s 99p short of a £1 coin… needs help! Any  Psychiatrists on here? Please form an orderly queue to treat her ! 

Comms : Place : Price
V.good. Fast txt  replies. Address given promptly
English skills-not the Queen’s,but intelligible
Terrace on long side road off Bristol Rd,nr. Selly Park/Smelly Oak border
Ground floor : poor decor : slightly stinky mirrored front room
£60/30  -  B2B + unhappy ending......and start.....and bits in between.

Looks
AW age: 30 NO! 40s+              Size 10 : Lean  + firm            Legs-ok shape,if a bit  stubby        Shaven nethers                 
5'3" ish                                   32B(?) perky tits                    Pert medium ass                          Long dark hair
Pale Thai smooth skin              Big dark bullet nips                 Pretty flange-just a slit                 Attractive IMO broad flat face : plucked eyebrows

Personality          
Described on here as  "kooky".Cough. Wild understatement  .More prickly than  porcupines gnawing on a field of cacti plants.Naive me underestimated this.From the get- go(after the money bit) was subjected to a nearly non-stop barrage of barbed comments,raging remonstrations if I so much as dared move/ breathe/exist and, at one stage, she even assaulted my leg!

The Meet
Lay face down on the table.Got my 1st hissy fit incineration within seconds."You move the cover,GET UP ,get up quick,faaacking hell “, her face contorted with anger.Leapt off like a startled gazelle + stood wide-eyed while she straightened the topsheet.WTF - an omen of things to come? Was reluctant to ask for some dollars back + bail.Didn't fancy being chased out into the street by demented Chucky from the Child’s Play film   .I don't do confrontation in an escort setting - high risk,IMO."You nasty man,you stoopid,no do dat again,lie down!"( menacingly). Set the tone for the meet remainder.

This lapdog obediently settled down again .She roughly wrenched my limbs into the positions she wanted.Cadavers in the morgue are treated more sympathetically.Puppetmistress ChaCha snarled-"You no move,OK ? You nasty man,you play too much! "    Had tried to joke + laugh as she was putting me in several wrestling holds....

Onto the back massage with warm oil. Ok,TBF .Plenty of medium strokes to the legs,pum pum + back.Room for improvement though,very few ass crack swipes,no ballbag tickles/reach unders.Punctuated by wailing complaints whenever I craned round to watch in the mirror,”nasty man” comments,how she wouldn’t take a booking off me again,Yadee Yaa.Huh? I'm a v. polite,clean + gentle guy (not WhiteKnighting myself !).Mounted me + glid her pussy over my back with body slides.Fanny slightly bristly by nature,embedded in a woman v.bristly by name + nature.......Then, what I would describe as a weird crab/back-leaning CG stance on all fours,massaging me with her bum cheeks - novel.

Flipover,and I made the Capital Punishment error of placing my left leg slightly awry.Cue ChaCha-grabbed my leg,lifted it up , slammed it down-ouch!  Mamma Mia! Some guys may've exploded,docile me downplayed it in my determination to spray the jellybeans.More warm oil,mounted me again,body slides on my front.Ok,but no green light to nibble her nips etc.

Could see light(+ the end of this fight) at the end of the tunnel,so onto the HJ.Her bipolar disorder must've been contagious,as my cock had been drifting in and out of happy erect + forlorn deflated throughout the meet.Cranked him up to solidity myself.Then passed the baton(literally + metaphorically) onto her to close out the race.She whacked me off while diddling with the plums.Not v.sensual,but a means to an end.Tentatively asked if she would suck the pole,partly to see if I could eke out extra VFM/an extra service,+ partly to piss her off as cunning payback for my torment.You've guessed it - "Don’t do,now cum - QUICK !" Some frenzied yanks that threatened to uproot the stalk from his flower bed,shot the sap. YooHoo - at least I’d got something positive from this bitter encounter…..

Perversely,CC was  delicate when cleaning the lieutenant.Washed in back bathroom,dressed with more verbal grenades aimed my way during this, + sauntered into the hallway,well over time.Her flamethrower gob scorched my ass on the way out with  more spiteful words  .Thought about ringing for an ambulance to take me to the Burns Unit at the nearby QE.

Ran out.Had escaped from the Dragons Den.Composed myself + thought - "I'M OUT"! Glory be.My ordeal was over.

B2B/HE acceptable, but delivered with a beastly attitude-hence RED.In the wrong sector of the sex industry IMO-would make an excellent  Dominatrix.Could  make pornstar Mandingo weep if he booked a Small Penis Humiliation session with her.

A rough handjob off Edward Scissorhands would’ve been more fun.

Scores -appearance + service quality : 6.5
              personality : 0.001 ( generous)
+ves
ChaCha was female + human (I think)
Drained the spuds
Decent looks/figure for age
Massage/B2B  + HJ  OK
10mins+  overrun

-ves
Gold medal + world record for bitchiness
GBH  on my leg
Whiff in  room

Return?
In the v.v.v.v. unlikely event I ever return ,I'd take the following items with me-
1) Industrial Ear Defenders
2) A Hannibal Lecter - style muzzle
3) A repeat prescription for anti-psychotic meds
4) Vouchers for lifelong Anger Management sessions

Recommend ? 
Crack on if dealing with an amputee wolverine that can’t scratch its itchy asshole floats your boat.
You’ll need to have thicker skin than a rhino's callus,though.And, you may need to book a  Counsellor for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.....

Cheers,LM   

[oldmanking]

so, going back next week then?? 

[bonham]

I seen her last week after having  a descent time about 3 years ago but didn't revew yet because I was still angry and didn't want to review strait away like I usually do .dont like reviewing till calm down I do it later. but it was as bad probably worse than yours ending up walking after 15 min .looking back I shuld have reviewed sooner saving you the trouble. She a nutcase now I think thay will be taking her away soon

[mr.bluesky]

Sounds hellish  she seems to be getting quite a few comments / reviews mentioning her crazy attitude. Sounds like she's completely bonkers. One to avoid 

[vindici]

Sorry you had a bad punt Pal 😕

Thanks for the review though, it was a hoot! 🤣

[jimmymac]

Hillarious but scary  review at the same time.
You were a brave man to stay until the end, I would have been long gone!

[The Owl]

Does she still offer a full service? I'd like to have sex with her.

[seandana]

Excellent review I can’t stop laughing ,I’ve seen her and reviewed her I haven’t been to see her in over a year I always found her kooky with An edge if you know what I mean, But now it’s sounds like she has gone over the edge sorry you had a bad one but a fantastic read , better luck next time buddy.

[oldmanking]

reminds me of a thai woman i saw once a year ago, at a private house back end of londonderry. was let in by her hubby, then basically roughed up for thirty mins, & nearly had my back broken, any complaint met with shouting for me to stop complaining, then more rough stuff ensued.

i should've walked before she offered a hand-job at the end, but chose not to.  she was talking about her hubby & my weight throughout while jerking me off, like it was going to help me. no surprise i gave up & left with a very roughly jerked sore cock, and balls still full.  i couldn't even take care of it back home for a time as it hurt to jerk.  i've never gone back.

[Ashleydowns_milf]

This is brilliant. Op has a fantastic way with words. And I’ve been laughing non stop. But sorry you had a bad time but this tale is epic.

[Jasonk71]

reminds me of a thai woman i saw once a year ago, at a private house back end of londonderry. was let in by her hubby, then basically roughed up for thirty mins, & nearly had my back broken, any complaint met with shouting for me to stop complaining, then more rough stuff ensued.

i should've walked before she offered a hand-job at the end, but chose not to.  she was talking about her hubby & my weight throughout while jerking me off, like it was going to help me. no surprise i gave up & left with a very roughly jerked sore cock, and balls still full.  i couldn't even take care of it back home for a time as it hurt to jerk.  i've never gone back.

Did you review this Thai female?

[oldmanking]

no, because it was before i did my first review here. my first review being july'18, so likely just before then, which would be longer than a year, i know. in fact she's probably the reason i started to read & provide reviews of my own.  but thanks for asking, mate.