Author Topic: SeekingArrangement First Message template?  (Read 8876 times)

Offline Cactus

I have paid £145 for 3 months membership (and that was with a 3rd off discount to celebrate the end of the lockdown so it should have been £190 for 3months).

1. I am worried about catching Covid. This way I see non-escorts who are not seeing every man under the sun. Plus when I started topics about social bookings seeking movie watching, I got ribbed like crazy, every time I did it. And was advised repeatedly by people that this is what SA is for. Escorts just want sex. They don't want all the social stuff. The people on SA want social stuff, but maybe not the sex.

2. I was a member of POF. but I have terrible social skills (I know what a shock) but it is true. And every message it was read/deleted so I gave up.

3. Eharmony I remember in 2011 I spent a good 45mins filling out the questionnaire and then at the end it said, thanks but no thanks. They may as well have said, sorry we don't want social leppers on our books.

I may try Tinder after it was mentioned here as a sugar daddy type of thing.

But before someone says it, for me, i probably should find a way to try and work on my social interaction skills.

Do you want to be a sugar daddy?

Is the ideal situation finding a partner? There’s honestly someone out there for everybody, you just need to put yourself out there!

Have you thought about something like meet-up.com or whatever it’s called? I’ve known folk who have used similar when relocating as a means of meeting people with similar interests. My pal joined a running club, met a woman there that he now has a kid with and is engaged.
It would get you out there amongst people & get some experience of chatting to women.
« Last Edit: June 21, 2020, 11:24:09 pm by Cactus »

Offline AnthG

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Do you want to be a sugar daddy?

I think its the best option available to me. But I have just started having a look at that website now.
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Offline GingerNuts

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I have paid £145 for 3 months membership (and that was with a 3rd off discount to celebrate the end of the lockdown so it should have been £190 for 3months).

How did they convince you one third off £190 was £145?

Online sparkus

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I have paid £145 for 3 months membership (and that was with a 3rd off discount to celebrate the end of the lockdown so it should have been £190 for 3months).

1. I am worried about catching Covid. This way I see non-escorts who are not seeing every man under the sun. Plus when I started topics about social bookings seeking movie watching, I got ribbed like crazy, every time I did it. And was advised repeatedly by people that this is what SA is for. Escorts just want sex. They don't want all the social stuff. The people on SA want social stuff, but maybe not the sex.

Get near a bird and you will catch Covid.  May as well become a monk.

2. I was a member of POF. but I have terrible social skills (I know what a shock) but it is true. And every message it was read/deleted so I gave up.

Perseverence.  I remember last time I was on POF I would sometimes spend two hours a day approaching and chatting but I got my dick wet.  There's more men than women on there but 99% of blokes just spend the shortest time possible firing off 'Fancy a fuck?' messages and getting nowhere.

3. Eharmony I remember in 2011 I spent a good 45mins filling out the questionnaire and then at the end it said, thanks but no thanks. They may as well have said, sorry we don't want social leppers on our books.

Fuck that shit.

I may try Tinder after it was mentioned here as a sugar daddy type of thing.

But before someone says it, for me, i probably should find a way to try and work on my social interaction skills. But that's the ultimate question, how....

Effectively Social escorting bookings. Which is chatting during a meal I pay for, then/and/or maybe watching a movie afterwards, and then maybe sex. That's my ideal punt.

I suspect on SA the girls would be all up for the first two. Its the last one that causes the issues. But this is what SA is (under the table) designed for. Its just a whole lot harder than Adultwork.

It sounds as if you're cut out for Tinder in terms of just one OK passable pic and some text about sugar daddying.  Obviously those on there looking for long term relationships will swerve you but they're not what you want.
« Last Edit: June 21, 2020, 11:47:00 pm by sparkus »

Offline AnthG

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How did they convince you one third off £190 was £145?

They add 20% Vat ontop. The £190 may be the before VAT price
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Offline AnthG

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Flippin hell, you could knock me over with a feather right now. The girl who I messaged yesterday afternoon with

"Hi [Girl], I was hoping we could get a meal together at a hotel bar, then maybe watch a movie together in the hotel and maybe get intimate afterwards."

Has just replied back saying

"hello and yeahh that sounds great i would be up for doing that x"

If this works out, and is all you need to do, then I don't think I will ever punt again. This girl is a 9 or even 10 on the looks scale and I said it just being cheeky never in a million years expecting a yes back. So I am like, WTF is going on here...

So unless she comes back with £10,000 for this please. I am like score here.
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Offline AnthG

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Git your finger out Boris and get these hotels back open ASAP.  :mad:
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Offline CheeseBoard

Flippin hell, you could knock me over with a feather right now. The girl who I messaged yesterday afternoon with

Has just replied back saying

"hello and yeahh that sounds great i would be up for doing that x"

If this works out, and is all you need to do, then I don't think I will ever punt again. This girl is a 9 or even 10 on the looks scale and I said it just being cheeky never in a million years expecting a yes back. So I am like, WTF is going on here...

So unless she comes back with £10,000 for this please. I am like score here.

Make sure you lock in times (how long she will spend with you) and fee.  I see you have put 'maybe intimate', that could cloud things so I would reccomend talking on the phone to iron out the details and get a sense of her before you meet  :hi:

Offline Spencer Fobby

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Flippin hell, you could knock me over with a feather right now. The girl who I messaged yesterday afternoon with

Has just replied back saying

"hello and yeahh that sounds great i would be up for doing that x"

If this works out, and is all you need to do, then I don't think I will ever punt again. This girl is a 9 or even 10 on the looks scale and I said it just being cheeky never in a million years expecting a yes back. So I am like, WTF is going on here...

So unless she comes back with £10,000 for this please. I am like score here.
From that reply to your line I will guarantee she is a flake/fake/scammer. If she turns up and you fuck I promise to pay your hotel bill.
« Last Edit: June 22, 2020, 08:45:09 pm by Spencer Fobby »
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Offline AnthG

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From that reply to your line I will guarantee she is a flake/fake/scammer. If she turns up and you fuck I promise to pay your hotel bill.

Damn, she has been on the site since June 2019 so was thinking she was genuine.
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Offline cunningman

So unless she comes back with £10,000 for this please. I am like score here.

An lass with an extraordinarily curvy latino bod asked me for 200 for a car meet or 350 for the works at hers yesterday.  I said 'no thanks' politely and she came back, but still too rich for me.  I wish I was younger and could multi-ball.  Just remember that you have a VFM baseline, and not to be rude if they are a bit outside.  Most are chancers and will not quote.  I was offering what I'd pay but I'm having a try with low-ball and see if they bid me up or just get the hump.

After all, it costs nothing and you can practice on ones you don't care so much about.  Not sure you get a second go with many, if they are offended, but there are plenty of them.


« Last Edit: June 22, 2020, 09:09:19 pm by cunningman »

Offline Sparta Prada

Flippin hell, you could knock me over with a feather right now. The girl who I messaged yesterday afternoon with

Has just replied back saying

"hello and yeahh that sounds great i would be up for doing that x"

If this works out, and is all you need to do, then I don't think I will ever punt again. This girl is a 9 or even 10 on the looks scale and I said it just being cheeky never in a million years expecting a yes back. So I am like, WTF is going on here...

So unless she comes back with £10,000 for this please. I am like score here.

Before I arrange a first meet any girl I always insist on a phone call. If they are evasive, highly likely they are not real. If they agree to the call, highly likely they are real. Though not 100% foolproof, it’s always good to break the ice, hear each other’s voice and it helps to create a connection prior to meeting.

One other thing: do not send any cash in advance of meeting. No matter what sob story they give, or promises they make. That is a mugs game, and likely to leave you feeling disappointed with yourself afterwards.

Good luck and keep us informed of your exploits!

Offline Spencer Fobby

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Damn, she has been on the site since June 2019 so was thinking she was genuine.
There's a girl who was on the site over 18 months (balletsomethingorother) and she messaged every male profile and would agree to anything.  No one ever reported her actually meeting.  You cannot underestimate the amount of unusual crazies of one kind or another you will find.  But if anything seems too good to be true, it probably is - on seeking more than anywhere
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Online sparkus

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I had a mooch around Tinder last night, plenty of profiles on there which state stuff like "Not after romance, just need a kind man to spoil me", particularly among the 18-25s (make sure you do the settings right, there's still loads of desperate divorcees in their 40s on there).

If you're worried about being spotted just don't add any text, this is generally a sign that you're not there to woo 'the one' and just for fun.

I also noted the quality of birds on Tinder is much higher than on Bumble...

Offline AnthG

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I just want to have another mini moan. For years I would criticise WGs for their seeming lack of communication skills. Well, I have now just found. Its not WGs, society has fallen back a hundred years it seems. This is genuinely the level of conversation I am getting from multiple girls.

Me: Hi, [girl], you look absolutely gorgeous in your photo.
Girl: thanks x
Me: Hi [Girl], when you say you love 80s music, how are you on 80s movies? (I am a massive fan of 80s movies)
Girl: i'm more 80’s music but willing to compromise
Me: Hi [Girl], what else do you like doing alongside listening to music? Do you like going to bars for a drink? Or to restaurants?
Girl: yes

She cannot possibly be taking the piss here.
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Offline Cactus

I just want to have another mini moan. For years I would criticise WGs for their seeming lack of communication skills. Well, I have now just found. Its not WGs, society has fallen back a hundred years it seems. This is genuinely the level of conversation I am getting from multiple girls.

Me: Hi, [girl], you look absolutely gorgeous in your photo.
Girl: thanks x
Me: Hi [Girl], when you say you love 80s music, how are you on 80s movies? (I am a massive fan of 80s movies)
Girl: i'm more 80’s music but willing to compromise
Me: Hi [Girl], what else do you like doing alongside listening to music? Do you like going to bars for a drink? Or to restaurants?
Girl: yes

She cannot possibly be taking the piss here.

The problem you’re going to have is that you’re going to be dealing with fakes, flakes and overly entitled young women who expect to be handed a lifestyle, with the odd genuine lass sprinkled in. What are you putting out there to make the girls think that you’re worthy of paying them for your time?

In regard to communication, when I used internet dating in various forms, as soon as I saw text speak, I was out, regardless of how they look.

I think you probably need to work on your own chat too. You need to at least fake an interest in what they’re talking about, you’ve kind of dismissed her love of 80s music and tried to direct it to 80s movies, a subject you’re interested in, without any nuance or subtlety. Conversation is give and take, even if you’re not into the subject she’s into, engage her on it. There must be some 80s bands you know/like? Tell her you love Huey Lewis and the News, then use that as a lead into ‘back to the future’. Or that you really liked 80s era Bowie and use that as a lead in to Labyrinth. Or just 80s music in films in general, there’s plenty of it.

Offline Cactus

I just want to have another mini moan. For years I would criticise WGs for their seeming lack of communication skills. Well, I have now just found. Its not WGs, society has fallen back a hundred years it seems. This is genuinely the level of conversation I am getting from multiple girls.

Me: Hi, [girl], you look absolutely gorgeous in your photo.
Girl: thanks x
Me: Hi [Girl], when you say you love 80s music, how are you on 80s movies? (I am a massive fan of 80s movies)
Girl: i'm more 80’s music but willing to compromise
Me: Hi [Girl], what else do you like doing alongside listening to music? Do you like going to bars for a drink? Or to restaurants?
Girl: yes

She cannot possibly be taking the piss here.

That line there was your ‘in’, she’s into 80s music, you’re into 80s films. Talk about how you love the music in 80s films, do so research on the subject. Ask if she’s seen the breakfast club, talk about the seminal soundtrack, talk about the famous end scene where Simple Minds, don’t you forget about me kicks in.
She’s given you something to work with, pick up on it, relate her interest to something you’re interested in. 80s music to 80s movies is a tiny leap, focus on the soundtrack which were integral to many classic 80s movies.

Offline AnthG

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In hindsight (or better put reading your posts explaining it) I think it was me who messed up there. But it's given me something to hopefully work on in the future when I message other girls. So thanks for doing that.

To add, after the Yes response, I asked her if she wanted to meet up in a bar or restaurant after they open again in July 4th and we could sort everything out in advance over Whatsapp (no mention of anything other than that, e.g. sex) and then suddenly her entire profile was deactivated (I didn't get blocked, I checked). So she must have thought, nope no way to that one. Or she was a flake.
« Last Edit: June 24, 2020, 12:29:38 am by AnthG »
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Offline Cactus

In hindsight (or better put reading your posts explaining it) I think it was me who messed up there. But it's given me something to hopefully work on in the future when I message other girls. So thanks for doing that.

To add, after the Yes response, I asked her if she wanted to meet up in a bar or restaurant after they open again in July 4th and we could sort everything out in advance over Whatsapp (no mention of anything other than that, e.g. sex) and then suddenly her entire profile was deactivated (I didn't get blocked, I checked). So she must have thought, nope no way to that one. Or she was a flake.

Surely you need a bit of back and forth between yourselves before putting meeting up out there?

I’ve never used SA, but it’s apparently somewhere between AW & internet dating.

You can be pretty blunt with AW as you know why you’re both there and that you’re keen to buy what they’re selling. Escorts might not see you for whatever reason, but 4 times out of 5, if you’re paying, they’re playing.

With internet dating, it’s a bit more nuanced and you need to strike up a rapport with the other person. In my experience, you don’t want to enter into an extended dialogue before meeting, but you want enough to know that there’s something in common and a spark from which something can be built. What that is can range from a coffee & left at that, to casual dating, to a one night stand, to fuck buddies, to a relationship etc.

Given that SA is somewhere between the two, you need to find the balance somewhere between arranging a punt with an escort and a date with a civvy. You like your escorts to indulge your passions and have a chat, you want that from a SA woman, so surely you need to build a rapport with the woman before meeting for the type of date you seek. You’re looking for something quite specific that you’re going to have to work harder to get. Many of these women will just be expecting you to fuck them & pay them, like an escort, but without calling themselves an escort. You’re seeking more from them, I presume it would be more rewarding if they were actually interested/interesting?

Offline kippydon

I think phone call is a must, because then you maybe able to get an ideal of the person and see if they are genuine

Offline Spencer Fobby

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1. I am worried about catching Covid. This way I see non-escorts who are not seeing every man under the sun. Plus when I started topics about social bookings seeking movie watching, I got ribbed like crazy, every time I did it. And was advised repeatedly by people that this is what SA is for. Escorts just want sex. They don't want all the social stuff. The people on SA want social stuff, but maybe not the sex.

2. I was a member of POF. but I have terrible social skills (I know what a shock) but it is true. And every message it was read/deleted so I gave up.

Point 1.  The girls you might meet on SA are risk-takers by nature.  They are likely to have been breaking lockdown rules and will have a lower sense of civic responsibility unless they are online only.  You are not reducing your chances of getting covid19 by focusing on SA girls - it is another unknown risk.  Your logic doesn't bear scrutiny.

Point 2.  Without decent social skills you are unlikely to have the professional attention an escort would consider her duty - on a social date.  The girls on seeking that most people hope to find (genuine, sex-minded, non-escorts) will generally want to have a genuine connection with you - achieved through good social skills. 

I think you have thrown a lot of money down the drain.  You should have tried it for 1 month not 3. That's a waste.  You should find a friendly escort to help develop your social skills if that is important to you.  Then move on to seeking - knowing exactly what you are looking for.

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Offline DeanoDeano

I just want to have another mini moan. For years I would criticise WGs for their seeming lack of communication skills. Well, I have now just found. Its not WGs, society has fallen back a hundred years it seems. This is genuinely the level of conversation I am getting from multiple girls.

Me: Hi, [girl], you look absolutely gorgeous in your photo.
Girl: thanks x
Me: Hi [Girl], when you say you love 80s music, how are you on 80s movies? (I am a massive fan of 80s movies)
Girl: i'm more 80’s music but willing to compromise
Me: Hi [Girl], what else do you like doing alongside listening to music? Do you like going to bars for a drink? Or to restaurants?
Girl: yes

She cannot possibly be taking the piss here.

Don’t take this personally but your chat / banter sucks badly.

Ask open questions not ones that encourage one word answers.
Don’t make statements that don’t warrant a response.
Ask her about herself.

It’s not easy but these girls still expect to be flirted with and made to feel special. Put yourself in their shoes when you’re trying build a bit of a connection.


Offline AnthG

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Don’t take this personally but your chat / banter sucks badly.

Ask open questions not ones that encourage one word answers.

I would much rather a punter tell me I suck than a girl think it to be honest (that is why I started this topic after all)

I am still trying to get to grips with it all. As its a very odd mashup of dating and punting that is neither, but both.

But would you give some suggestions of some open-ended questions you would have asked there with this girl? Most girls literally have one single line as their entire profile. And that's it. This girl was I like 80s music. That was literally it.

The thing i am worried about, is I do not want to be seen as a time-waster just wanting to chat with them and not get down to business (i.e arranging a meet to give her money, that she wants).

But from you saying this, I am now worried I am coming across as too upfront.

So anyway, I will message a girl today and try flirting with her a bit, and chatting, until she takes the initiative and asks for a meet. I wont mention meeting in my messages. Thats my plan for today. To see if that works.
« Last Edit: June 24, 2020, 12:19:30 pm by AnthG »
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Offline AnthG

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I think you have thrown a lot of money down the drain.  You should have tried it for 1 month not 3. That's a waste. 

I have done easily over 50 social bookings with escorts though. And only once did the girl threaten to the phone the police. :)

My thoughts are, I have 3 months to get this right. If I cannot find a girl willing to take my money to spend some time with me after 3 months. I might as well just join a monastery.  :(

But it is a good test on the merits of SA, as if I can pull this off, it proves anyone can. I am asking a lot of questions in the hope of getting this right.

*Edit* Looking online, according to Vox this is one of the best opening line for online dating sites to get a response back and start talking.

Quote
Click; nope, Click; Yikes!, Click: Uhhhhh, Click; no-way,
Click: Hmmmm interesting.

That's a dramatic re-enactment of the last 5 profiles I read on here ending with yours. You look like someone I'd actually like to know more about. So tell me, what is the last completely spur of the moment spontaneous thing you did?

Would that be ok, or would that be naff?
« Last Edit: June 24, 2020, 12:48:29 pm by AnthG »
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Offline AnthG

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Ok tweaking the above. And this is all me this time. Would this be an ok line for a first message or  :scare:

Hi [Girls name] You look amazing in your profile photo. I am trying to find someone on here that I could form a possible connection with, therefore, if I was to ask, what has been the craziest spur of the moment spontaneous thing you've ever done before in your life?

Is that ^ any good for a first message to send a girl on there or is that creepy?

If its creepy, if anyone has any they use they don't mind sharing. I would seriously be appreciative.
« Last Edit: June 24, 2020, 01:01:46 pm by AnthG »
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Offline DeanoDeano

You are way way way over thinking this. There’s no secret formula to talking to women, funnily enough they’re al different despite what pick up artists and “game players” might want you to believe.

And even if you meet someone because of a line you’ve picked up from somewhere what are you going to do when you’re sitting in front of them over a coffee? Google how to make small talk?




Online sparkus

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Anth, at the risk of sounding flippant, have you not considered the advantages of just sticking to see escorts here?

As they might say in your part of the world, divvunt be a jerk, gan on Adultwork.

Offline AnthG

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Anth, at the risk of sounding flippant, have you not considered the advantages of just sticking to see escorts here?

Did you see the reactions to my social escorting request topics received?

Anyway, it's not a nice feeling to know, all someone is good for is sex and nothing else... :)

I would rather see if I can get this down. Like people advised multiple times, its all trial and error. I will just have a lot more errors it seems. But hopefully, I will get it right before I run out of girls in Newcastle as I am definitely not moving.
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Offline xyfek

Anth, just be yourself. Talk to the girl like you're talking to a mate. Be interested in her, don't just pretend that you are so you can get into her knickers. You're already paying her for that, so there's no need to stress about the talk!

Like Deano says, there's no point in googling conversation ice breakers if you can't follow through on the actual date...

Offline Cactus

As noted, chat up lines and overly scripted responses will likely only result in eye rolling!

Be yourself, if they don’t like you then, so what. Move on to the next one and repeat until you find one who does like you. I don’t think you’re looking for a SB who’ll stare off into space every time you speak and vice versus when they do.

Learn to engage them in conversation as you, or a version of you that is attainable with minor tweaks. You’ve been spoilt with escorts who’ll happily take you cash to hear you waffle about how grand theft auto V is the best one or the princess bride is the greatest movie ever made all while they nod & check their phone. What you want is a woman who’ll engage you and say that the original GTA was her favourite or that the princess bride is good, but it’s no coming to america. Back and forth chat with genuine banter.

I think there may be some truth to the fact you’ve wasted your money, but only time will tell. Sounds like with SA, a bit like a relationship, you only get out what you put in.

On the subject of relationships, I think what you’re looking for, someone to hang out with, share interests and ultimately fuck is far more achievable in a relationship. You’d be far better with a girlfriend than being somebodies sugar daddy. You’re devaluing what you have to offer in thinking this is the only way to get what you want.

Sign up for tinder/PIF/Match/Bumble/eharmony alongside SA. Even if just to use as practice for speaking to women, which it appears you lack confidence/experience in.

Offline scutty brown

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Anth, have you thought of trying Grindr? Probably more chance of a fuck there.

Offline tynetunnel

Anth, have you thought of trying Grindr? Probably more chance of a fuck there.
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Offline cunningman

Ok tweaking the above. And this is all me this time. Would this be an ok line for a first message or  :scare:

Hi [Girls name] You look amazing in your profile photo. I am trying to find someone on here that I could form a possible connection with, therefore, if I was to ask, what has been the craziest spur of the moment spontaneous thing you've ever done before in your life?

Is that ^ any good for a first message to send a girl on there or is that creepy?

If its creepy, if anyone has any they use they don't mind sharing. I would seriously be appreciative.

FFS they open with 'Hey!'.

I just compliment them on the photos.  Try to make it sound like I actually looked at them too.  When the words are a bit suggestive, I also say 'And I like the text! ;)'.
« Last Edit: June 24, 2020, 07:19:22 pm by cunningman »

Offline AnthG

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FFS they open with 'Hey!'.

I just compliment them on the photos.  Try to make it sound like I actually looked at them too.  When the words are a bit suggestive, I also say 'And I like the text! ;)'.

Ok, advice taken - you should have seen me when I first started punting. I was like this and then some. I am one of life's worriers and extreme over planners. It has its benefits sometimes. But not when it comes to things like women....
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Offline billybobsmith

I've always just asked how they are, commented on their appearance, and/or thanked them for replying.

Most get back to you with some sort of reply, whereas others you'll not hear from again.

As said earlier in the thread, women are different.  Some model type may spend the night for £100 with a 60yo man, 3x her age for whatever reason yet a 4/10 won't acknowledge you or even accept £300 for a couple of hours.
I've gone to efforts of tailoring responses to their profiles / pictures and still had short responses that may completely avoid what has been said.  Sometimes their profiles are complete bull like ours and they've zero knowledge of things they apparently love the most.
I've had times in the past where 1 or 2 out of 50 have bothered replying regardless of what I do, say, photos I have up etc.
Sometimes it's a case of thinking outside of the box and rather than telling them they look beautiful in their picture, which they may have heard 70 times today, maybe the location, jewellery,  tattoos, dog in picture 3 etc. are better places to start. 

If the numbers are there, sometimes being straight to the point works, assuming SA doesn't ban you. 
Some women want to know you're serious and not playing around, so by putting some cards on the table, you're showing her that you're not a timewaster and it's worth investing time in you (which in girl terms, might take days or longer even though she's online).

Also mentioned earlier, play around with ones that are of less interest to you.  See how things work out with them, fine tune things, maybe collect numbers for later on or as a backup plan.  The girls that seem less desirable can often turn out to be a far better experience than the 9/10 hot model type you're desperate to shag.

Offline AnthG

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As a test to see how I get on I sent this message to 20 girls yesterday

Hi [girl], I have just seen your profile and you look absolutely stunning in your photo's. Can I ask do you possibly do meetups (as in when the lockdown ends on the 4th July) as if you do would you consider having a look over my profile to see if I would be someone you'd like to meet up with also?
Love, [me]

So far three girls replied. All three are non-intimate only. One girl I was chatting to for about half an hour - an 18-year-old hot middle eastern girl and she was talking about crazy cuisines and all sorts and I was taking Cactus's and others advice on board and getting on great I was going to be trying all sorts of dishes with her. Till she said, by the way, I don't do Intimate will this be a problem....She may as well have just smashed me over the head with the PC.

Therefore, can I ask? Has anyone ever just tried a more direct approach and said in the first message. Hi, you look great in your photo, I am looking for a sugar baby with a monthly income of £300 where we meet up once or twice a month. Would this be something you are interested in?
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Offline billybobsmith

Don't always assume a girl who says she's not interested in intimacy /sex is exactly that.  Some happily drop their knickers on the first meet or change their tune after a while.
Sometimes it's just a way of trying to filter out those men who make it clear from the off that sex is all they really want.  It can be a case of playing along and/or telling her what she wants to hear to get you into her good books.

Offline Spencer Fobby

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As a test to see how I get on I sent this message to 20 girls yesterday

Hi [girl], I have just seen your profile and you look absolutely stunning in your photo's. Can I ask do you possibly do meetups (as in when the lockdown ends on the 4th July) as if you do would you consider having a look over my profile to see if I would be someone you'd like to meet up with also?
Love, [me]

So far three girls replied. All three are non-intimate only. One girl I was chatting to for about half an hour - an 18-year-old hot middle eastern girl and she was talking about crazy cuisines and all sorts and I was taking Cactus's and others advice on board and getting on great I was going to be trying all sorts of dishes with her. Till she said, by the way, I don't do Intimate will this be a problem....She may as well have just smashed me over the head with the PC.

Therefore, can I ask? Has anyone ever just tried a more direct approach and said in the first message. Hi, you look great in your photo, I am looking for a sugar baby with a monthly income of £300 where we meet up once or twice a month. Would this be something you are interested in?

Stop with the 'you look great in your photos' thing!  It's so trite.

Billybob just gave you some excellent advice.  Read it.  Follow it.  You seem to be hovering up knowledge but failing to actually learn from any of it. 

Sure, you can try being direct - lots of girls appreciate it.  Here's another suggestion:  "hey, let's cut to the chase.  I'm looking for a real life arrangement, something fun, something intimate, with an allowance for you of course.  Hope to hear from you" 

If you can't get from there to chatting in WhatsApp within 3-4 messages, then you may as well give up. 
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Offline AnthG

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Stop with the 'you look great in your photos' thing!  It's so trite.

Billybob just gave you some excellent advice.  Read it.  Follow it.  You seem to be hovering up knowledge but failing to actually learn from any of it. 

I am not doing this deliberately. I promise.

I am trying to get an opening message down that maybe they will respond to. And I asked a few girls what degrees are they studying and how they are finding it and they all just ignored me. So I figured they may be thinking that's too personal of a question in an opening message.

But I wont mention their appearance of their photos again in my opening message. As you are correct.
« Last Edit: June 25, 2020, 11:04:37 am by AnthG »
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Offline Spencer Fobby

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I am not doing this deliberately. I promise.

I am trying to get an opening message down that maybe they will respond to. And I asked a few girls what degrees are they studying and how they are finding it and they all just ignored me. So I figured they may be thinking that's too personal of a question in an opening message.

But I wont mention their appearance of their photos again in my opening message. As you are correct.

They don't want to do small talk on that site. They don't want to repeat the same shit to every guy who messages them.

One killer opening line will not solve your problems.  Write down three options - one light hearted and brief, one direct and straight forward (and brief), one that's cheeky - and brief.  Look at a profile, read it, check the photos and see if you can personalise one of your template opening lines.

There's no formula because every girl is different.  Trial and error - put your efforts into messaging more girls rather than trying to pump the guys here for something that doesn't exist.

You could even say "I'm a socially awkward internet dating novice, but I'm kind hearted respectful and comfortably off.  If you want to help me improve my social skills, let's talk - and there'll be a reward for you for sure!"
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Offline AnthG

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Just to mention, I actually semi pulled back a miracle here from your advice Spencer.

I sent that above message last night like I mentioned above to about 20 girls. And one girl logged in this morning, read it, and just didn't reply. I was going to leave it. And then thought, what the hell one more message. So I sent

Hi [girl], my opening message I sent last night must have been pretty bad given you've put "Send me a message, I’ll always reply" and mine was one you didn't. I am very new to this and still trying to get things down. So I am just messaging to say sorry if I maybe caused offence. Thanks, [me]

And then straight away she got back with;

"Do not worry, you did not cause offence. Sorry for my slowness. Just got online half an hour ago and was asleep when you messaged me last night. So you are new to this? have you had an arrangement yet? c"

So lets see how I go now........Get ready to do the  Coup d'état if I now blow this. As I will deserve it :)

But its a good lesson that maybe all is not lost in life when you mess up.
« Last Edit: June 25, 2020, 11:52:34 am by AnthG »
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Offline Spencer Fobby

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there you go... honest communication is better than a template opening message
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Offline Steve2

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Here's another suggestion:  "hey, let's cut to the chase.  I'm looking for a real life arrangement, something fun, something intimate, with an allowance for you of course.

Good advice Anth  :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

Offline stampjones

I've always just asked how they are, commented on their appearance, and/or thanked them for replying.

Most get back to you with some sort of reply, whereas others you'll not hear from again.

As said earlier in the thread, women are different.  Some model type may spend the night for £100 with a 60yo man, 3x her age for whatever reason yet a 4/10 won't acknowledge you or even accept £300 for a couple of hours.
I've gone to efforts of tailoring responses to their profiles / pictures and still had short responses that may completely avoid what has been said.  Sometimes their profiles are complete bull like ours and they've zero knowledge of things they apparently love the most.
I've had times in the past where 1 or 2 out of 50 have bothered replying regardless of what I do, say, photos I have up etc.
Sometimes it's a case of thinking outside of the box and rather than telling them they look beautiful in their picture, which they may have heard 70 times today, maybe the location, jewellery,  tattoos, dog in picture 3 etc. are better places to start. 

If the numbers are there, sometimes being straight to the point works, assuming SA doesn't ban you. 
Some women want to know you're serious and not playing around, so by putting some cards on the table, you're showing her that you're not a timewaster and it's worth investing time in you (which in girl terms, might take days or longer even though she's online).

Also mentioned earlier, play around with ones that are of less interest to you.  See how things work out with them, fine tune things, maybe collect numbers for later on or as a backup plan.  The girls that seem less desirable can often turn out to be a far better experience than the 9/10 hot model type you're desperate to shag.
This.

@anth
I message loads of girls and many dont reply. Some that do are either not for me or drift off. Others I get onto whatsapp and try to arrange something. Many break down there. A few are left and we get as far as agreeing terms but it doesnt happen. A very small percentage (maybe 1-5?) actually end up in me fucking someone. That’s the nature of the game. So dont get too hung up on individual girls. Until your dick is actually inside her there’s a fair chance it could go wrong.

Key thing to make connections is to be interested in them. If a girl says she’s interested in 80s music, ask her what her fave band was. When she tells you, react to that. You know like a conversation? Dont let it go on too long tho. Unless you’re enjoying it just ask what type of arrangement they are looking for. She’ll tell u and ask wbu (literally - had to look it up the first time). Say its easier to discuss on WA and switch over. Explain what you want.

Tip - dont invite them to dinner unless you want to do that. I usually wait til after terms are agreedand say something like do you want to meet in public first or go straight to the hotel. The vast majority are happy with the latter.

To finish - I get pretty much exactly what I want from SA (given my budget). I dont go out of my way to be especially attractive to girls beyond treating them like human beings. I dont have a photo on my profile and it literally says looking for a good time or something like that. Unless I spot something interesting on their profile or am feeling especially creative, my first message is usually something like hi, how are you. I probably miss out on girls that would otherwise be available because of that but as I say Im more than happy with what I get (I like young good looking girls).

Point is, stop obsessing about what went wrong. It doesnt matter. Move onto the next girl
« Last Edit: June 25, 2020, 11:28:02 pm by stampjones »

Offline AnthG

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Unless things go tits up. Which I hope they don't. When I signed up to SA there were two girls I liked the look of the most. The first hasn't logged in for a fortnight. The second I messaged as my first message and thought I had messed it up as she just logged off right after I sent it and didn't log back in at all to give me any answer.

But tonight I sent a coy message saying my last message to you said "unsent" on SA messaging system (it didn't but I tried it) and just simply said what it was effectively saying is, would you like to do a SD/SB relationship with me, and if so if we can chat on Whatsapp. Suddenly a response came back in literally a minute and a number came.

In the chat she says I am her first SD so she didn't know rates or anything so I said;

"From reading advice guides, the first few meetups are usually done as a pay per meet type of thing to see if when we meet we don't hate each other. And the amount is depending on if intimacy happens on the first meetup or the second one? Have you given any thought on that side of things?"

She didn't baulk at that, so I said how about I book a hotel and we go to the restaurant at the hotel and we go up to the room afterwards. Suddenly she said how about we save that for the second meetup incase one of us ends up murdered. So I have arranged to go to a Wetherspoons instead when they open and the sex stuff second booking.

She has been furloughed and is on the late returners so needs the money. So I think I have hit my jackpot. If this doesn't go ahead I should be ashamed of myself. I ended up securing the meet with the girl I signed up to SA to see. Not bad for a guy everyone claims is autistic. I am not kidding I am so chuffed this seems to have worked out so far. This is just my bragging/elated post. I better not goddamned blow this....
« Last Edit: June 26, 2020, 12:17:17 am by daviemac »
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Offline AnthG

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I am now worried I said something there as it says the post is in premod?
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Offline daviemac

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I am now worried I said something there as it says the post is in premod?
You should be able to spot the word I took out. 

Offline cotton

Im surprised your waiting till wetherspoons opens , thats like over a week away , i think if she looks just like what you want i be tempted to suggest going for a walk in the park or something.  If you did meet now and really got on youd obviously have the problem of where to take her for sex and i can see that taking her home probably isnt the wisest option , you dont want to risk bringing troubles to your own doorstep but if she seems ok id just think fuck it its extrordinary circumstances and sometimes you need to roll the dice.
Odds are if you meet without any where planned to take her she'l be perfect and youl get on and be dying to rip each others clothes off there and then , if you wait and line up a hotel itl probably fizzle out and be a big let down , i say grab the kettle while its hot.


Offline Spencer Fobby

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or "strike while the iron's hot" (grabbing hot kettles can cause a nasty scalding).
But yes... if you are planning more than 2 days ahead the chances increase that things will not happen for one reason or another. 
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Offline Steve2

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Unless things go tits up. Which I hope they don't. When I signed up to SA there were two girls I liked the look of the most. The first hasn't logged in for a fortnight. The second I messaged as my first message and thought I had messed it up as she just logged off right after I sent it and didn't log back in at all to give me any answer.

But tonight I sent a coy message saying my last message to you said "unsent" on SA messaging system (it didn't but I tried it) and just simply said what it was effectively saying is, would you like to do a SD/SB relationship with me, and if so if we can chat on Whatsapp. Suddenly a response came back in literally a minute and a number came.

In the chat she says I am her first SD so she didn't know rates or anything so I said;

"From reading advice guides, the first few meetups are usually done as a pay per meet type of thing to see if when we meet we don't hate each other. And the amount is depending on if intimacy happens on the first meetup or the second one? Have you given any thought on that side of things?"

She didn't baulk at that, so I said how about I book a hotel and we go to the restaurant at the hotel and we go up to the room afterwards. Suddenly she said how about we save that for the second meetup incase one of us ends up murdered. So I have arranged to go to a Wetherspoons instead when they open and the sex stuff second booking.

She has been furloughed and is on the late returners so needs the money. So I think I have hit my jackpot. If this doesn't go ahead I should be ashamed of myself. I ended up securing the meet with the girl I signed up to SA to see. Not bad for a guy everyone claims is autistic. I am not kidding I am so chuffed this seems to have worked out so far. This is just my bragging/elated post. I better not goddamned blow this....

Anth, do NOT pay for meet and greet dates apart from a drink or 2. If you get along and move to a sex included date then that is where to start paying if that is what she wants