The Housemaid (2025), starring Sydney Sweeney. On Amazon Prime.
The proud mother looks out of the window as the soldiers march past, and says: “They’re all out of step except my little Johnny.”
Well, not for the first time, I’m little Johnny.
The Housemaid scores very well on Rotten Tomatoes. Indeed a sequel’s being made, due for release on 17 December 2027. (Put the date in your diaries.)
However I thought that it was one of the worst films I’ve ever seen. It began OK, but became jaw-droppingly bad and deeply silly. Surely even schlocky B-movies need a certain amount of psychological veracity? Also the narrative structure went AWOL about two-thirds of the way through, with a long, clunky flashback.
(And Sidney’s breasts? They were so much under wraps for the first hour or so that I thought they’d retired from acting. But they briefly came out to play at around 70 minutes, and there was a fair amount of décolletage thereafter.)