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External Link/Members OnlyHealth-warningMy reviews are not particularly fluffies or even those just under seasoned pro punters such as Jerk Chicken, KT, et al. Warzsaw marks pretty mediocre women and punts as positive - which is fine - a fluffies positive could be a pro’s negative. For me, this was bang on in the centre, Neutral
Comms (5/10)Absolute bollocks. Bailed on me yesterday after I made the trek to Earl’ Court, but managed to meet the WG today after a few back and forth texts.
Location (7/10)Fine. 5 mins from the station. Good basement flat. Secure
Girl (6/10)Now this is where I am perhaps harsh. She is flabby. Size 10-12, about 5’3. I don’t like flabby, I like Size 6 and 8. I like small and being in control. Her description of herself being petite is not accurate, Size 10 is not petite whatever the height! Maybe I should have walked but I decided to soldier on as she seemed to have a reasonably pleasant attitude (her groping and FK-ing you all over, as stated in her profile, is utter non-sense). Pale AF skin, nice face. The photo of her in the black lingerie is overly flattering. Could be a bubble butt contender? Nice tits (but silicone tits don’t do anything for me), nice nips, nice tight pink pussy, all good other than the flab.
Services (6/10)I go for a very specific set of services as standard. A single thing not delivered from this set or any awkwardness, and for me, it becomes a neutral at best or a negative experience. Harsh? Again, perhaps it is, but its subjective of course and I feel its justified as I always confirm by text (often in a WG’s native language with the help of Google Translate) to doubly make sure she does what she lists on her profile. I want DFK, Deep Throat OWO (with attention and sucking of the nuts), Fingering and 69. I feel any WG that doesn’t do these will not be passionate, probably will be a Starfish or a dead corpse. Also, I feel I an reasonably expect all of these services as I am immaculately clean, reasonably young and in great shape (even if I say so myself!) on top of the fact that I am PAYING the whore. I again confirm in person if she does all these. “Yes” she says but with that typical Brazilian WG flair, she declares “OWO £20 extra baby” (pro-tip: this is red fucking flag, WALK! I don’t know why I did not). Any WG that charges extra for OWO will almost certainly give a mediocre service. I agree, duly hand over my hard earned dosh and she flees to stash the cash - £70 for 30mins and £20 extra for the OWO, so £90 in total (another pro-tip: never ever book for an hour in a TOFFT situation or if you haven’t met a girl before who has limited feedback and are unsure of what’s on offer - you can always extend later but good luck recovering any of your coins if the punt goes south and you want to walk mid event!). Whiff of cooked beef comes through the door (nice smell, but not the time!) from the kitchen next door.
She comes up to me. Only very lightly FKs and pulls head away (FFS!). I kept telling myself before the punt that I will do KT’s kiss test for the first time, but I didn’t and I wondered why the FUCK did I feel shy to do it (another Pro-tip: if in doubt, do the kiss test!). No punt is BETTER than a shit punt (yes, that’s indeed a Brexit reference). Anyways, things slightly improve. She gives a good blowie. Rushes me slightly to fuck her. Her pussy tasted okay, not sweet, no smell, nothing dubious. I stick a couple of fingers in, she’s quite tight, whitey stuff comes out of her pussy and she is wet. During intercourse, I felt rushed with the constant “Cum for me baby”. This is a clear indicator that she has a long day ahead with a lot of punters slotted into her busy schedule - i.e. she is a conveyor belt - these WGs will not be too passionate for obvious reasons and won’t want to drain themselves with just one punter (later confirmed as she said she starts at 10am and finishes at 10pm - a conservative estimate makes me believe that she easily sees around 5-8 men per day). Then I slurped on her titties (good size!) She slaps me on the head and says “Don’t bite” (I didn’t bite btw). This made it very awkward for me. Anyways, I pound away, I cum in the mac inside her, she cleans me up, I shower and I am off. Underwhelming and a very average punt. Positive if you like Brazilian women with big lower bodies and empty your nut just by watching a woman undress, Neutral if you have done this for a while. Definitely not a Negative as there were no attitude problems as such, service was mehhhh but still delivered and she was, objectively, attractive.
VFM? I won’t mark this metric as its too subjective!PG photos attached.
Any questions, just shoot!
