PrettyLittlePorcha - tourer - Ravensthorpe near Dewsbury

[mrfishyfoo]

Work sometimes send me to the punting black hole that is Dewsbury, well not quite a black hole as there are a couple of IMHO shite parlours, and I knew I was going to get finished early so an early evening punt was in order. A quick look on AWank had me thinking I’d be having a wank then I spotted Porcha had put her light on.

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I’ll get the elephant in the room out of the way first. I’d spotted Porcha’s profile ages ago and binned her as she’s got a scumbag in her feedback. Time to have a word with myself and remind not so little Fishy that punting ain’t for the faint at heart. So I thought to myself why the fuck not as time has passed plus that’s what the condom is for as it’s protecting me not her.

The short version.

If it wasn’t for her clear and distinct northern accent I’d have said I just fucked a Rommie.

FFS why do lasses feel the need to get stoned off their heads before a booking ?? It just makes the punt mechanical, the lass disinterested, fake and just well MEH !!!

The booking process.

I sent Porcha a text requesting that she supply me with an idea of her location. She asked me to ring her, so I did. What I got on the other end of the phone was a no fucking around northern lass, sounded like Bradford or similar to me, that was quite happy to have a chat with me. Happy fucking days as that made my life easier. I then set out my stall and made a point of asking about services more than once. I also made a very specific point about DFK and was told it wouldn’t be an issue. I then requested an hour of her time and put in my dress request.

No AWank booking request no fuck all which is just how I like it. GAME ON !!!

The waiting game.

What waiting game ?? I was shooting my load in Porcha’s mouth less than 4 hours after the idea entered not so little Fishy’s head.
 
The Venue.

A terraced house in the WF13 region of Dewsbury.

The area is a complete shit hole and I should have seen it for what it was as all the warnings were right there infront of my eyes. FFS the local dealer doing his business on the street corner should have told me everything I needed to know.
 
First I am going to describe her.

Absolutely no doubt that it’s Porcha in the pictures as she clearly shows her face. FWIW I don’t reckon those pictures do her any favours as she’s much better IMHO in the flesh.

I’d say she’s 5’6” tall and a size 6/8 up top and an 8 below and that she weighs in the region of 7½ to 8 stones. I reckon her stats are 32-26-32 and that her tits are a B cup, a good sized standard British handful, and that they are naturals. Porcha is IMHO nicely proportioned whist not being overly gym sculpted and has what I considered to be a lovely “jiggle” to her. Very pleasing on the eye, as I thought that facially she’s very attractive. TBH I thought she was absolutely stunning, I was drooling as soon as I set eyes on her, albeit YMMV.

In her pictures she’s got shoulder length black/brunette hair that’s all the way to her arse. I think it may actually have been a wig as her hair was much shorter and “bunched” ontop when I met her. I reckon her eyes are green. When I saw her she was “sporting” a full body golden tan, she’s either been somewhere really hot recently or she likes the sun bed.

Porcha has some very distinctive tattoos, she’s fucking covered in them, as for metalwork her navel appeared to have been done as were her ears.

Age wise the 24 stated isn’t far off, I’d have said a couple of years more but certainly not in her 30’s.

I reckon she’s had kids as the signs are there if looked for, scar on her belly etc, albeit she’s really blessed IMHO as it hasn’t really affected her other than a bit of a mummy tummy. I’d give her 8/10 for her face with makeup and a 7/10 for her body which she could easily get to an 8 with a bit of effort in the gym.

I am though as ever conscious that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and just because I found Porcha to be FAF doesn’t mean the next punter will agree with me.

The meeting.

I arrived in the vicinity in good time, parked up, and let the Porcha know I was there. FFS she kept me waiting before finally giving me the come on down. The local drug dealer, who was parked opposite me, seemed to be doing a roaring trade.

Just about 10 minutes after the agreed start I was walking through the door. Porcha did the hiding thing. FUCK YES as this absolutely stunning lass that was very nicely dolled up, and dressed to impress in a nice looking lingerie set, asked me to accompany her upstairs.

The house had a wiff of of spliff to it which may bother some but didn’t initially bother me.

FUCK YES what a view as I followed her up the stairs !!! Not so little Fishy stood up immediately while the rest of me died and went to punting heaven. Porcha led the way to her room. All I could think at this time was what a fucking arse, what a fucking body, what a fucking result. Big brain now took over as TBH I was thinking this is just TGTBT. Into the room for some kissing, soft sensual LFK, that built up in intensity to full on sensual DFK. Porcha tasted of smoke. Services, duration etc confirmed in the room so I handed over the money for an hour of her life and this IMHO is where the punt went to shit as she questioned what I’d given her as she clearly thought it should be more. FFS I should have walked as no punt I’ve been on has worked after there’s been a discussion about an agreed price. She wanted an extra tenner which I wouldn’t pay as that wasn’t what had been agreed by text and her AWank was clearly showing £130 not the £140 she was asking for.

Her phone was ringing continuously.

Anyways not so little Fishy had other ideas so I stripped and went for a shower. Back into the room with a towel round my waist. The remnants of a spliff were an ashtray on the windowsill and an incense stick was burning which was IMHO a poor attempt to mask the smell. I now got chicken pecking as she somewhat curtly told me to get on the bed. Her fucking phone started ringing again albeit she did ignore it as she went straight for my dick without any other contact. Porcha’s oral was all hand, loadsa fake noises, and fuck all sucking. She worked the top only and it wasn’t very inspiring at all. Her fucking phone started ringing and FFS this time she answered it leaving me to look after myself. I really wasn’t happy now and not so little fishy showed his disapproval by throwing himself to the floor. FFS Porcha then started spitting and tugging on my dick rather roughly. Little Fishy really didn’t like that and refused to co-operate.

Time for a change of tack as I went down on her. That bastard phone just didn’t stop ringing. YUCK !!! Her fanny smelt nasty so that was that as I retreated and feigned needing a piss as I went and washed my mouth out with mouth wash. FFS Porcha was back playing with her fucking phone again. I asked her to put the phone down, which she ignored, and made my displeasure known as I wanked not so little Fishy into life. On with the condom which Porcha applied with her mouth and then it was time to fuck. The “stench” of her fanny as I fucked her in doggie was noticeable and somewhat off putting. Sap rising so I warned her and whipped the condom off as she span round. Her phone fucking phone was ringing again. One full weeks worth of baby batter deposited in her gob. The phone was still fucking ringing.

Porcha ran for the bathroom. I don’t think she likes cum as she came back into the room complaining about not really doing CIM. FFS love if you don’t like it don’t do it.

Back on her phone again.

Anyways I just wanted to leave now so I just got dressed and left.

I got back to my car exactly 50 minutes after I’d left it so time management was under albeit it was my choice to leave when I did.

The money bit.

I paid Porcha £130 for an hour of her life. She tried to get more out of me but I wasn’t having it.

In conclusion.

Fucking phone !!!! As for the rest of it this punt was mechanical as the lass was IMHO stoned out of her face which led to her being disinterested/disconnected and the experience was IMHO utterly shite !!!

Last but not least.

I’m pretty certain I passed the next punter on his way in so how the fuck she managed to get a wash etc after me is well questionable as I don’t think she did.

For anyone that follows me good luck and YMMV and all that.