External Link/Members OnlyI've been trying to see more SPs with no or few reviews this year, and fancied an indie massage. Organised on the day in mid-Oct. Quoted £60/hr for a professional deep tissue massage and when I enquired about anything sensual, she said we'd need to discuss in person. She sounded like she could be Russian on the phone so I thought I'd try something different.
CommsEasy to organise. Text and phone.
LocationShort walk from Clapham Junction. Family house. Reasonable shower. Massage room set up nicely. Decent looking massage table, candles, towels and water on the side. She's spent some time getting the vibe right so I thought at worst I'd get a good relaxing massage. Anything else was a bonus.
The girlA bit plain jane. 5'7", early-mid 30s, sensitive B-cup tits (more on those later), facially she reminded me of Steve Buscemi (Mr Pink). Quiet, demure and passive. No reason to believe she isn't Russian. Zero engagement: during the massage I tried to initiate conversation on several topics but the chat died early deaths on each occasion.
The serviceOnce there, she quoted £80 for HR and £100 for naked B2B. All in I go.
OMG what a crap massage. She is not worthy of the expensive table I had the pleasure of lying on. At best it was poor Swedish massage and my requests for her to dig deeper were largely ignored. No use of forearms or elbows, just hands.
OK so the massage was shit, but she'll save it with the B2B, right? Wrong. She didn't get on the table at all and, at the flip, did her best to keep away from me with her legs crossed. I asked if touching was ok (yes, she says) but whilst she allowed access to her tits, this was curtailed pretty quickly since she said they were too sensitive.
OK so the B2B was shit, she'll save it with the handjob, right? Wrong. Her idea of a sensual handjob is to pump it like a piston. I don't know how I got hard in the first place but her total asexuality and lack of touch killed my boner pretty quickly. Her asking me why I was getting soft didn't help. I asked her to slow down 4 or 5 times in a row until finally she hit a sensual rhythm I could work with. A flicker of some wood and thinking about Georgie Lyall sucking me off got me over the line. Barely. The spunk plopped out, hesitant and embarrassed. Clean up, shower, hardly spoke to her again and walked down the road shaking my head.
£100/hr (£60+40 for B2B)
RatingNorway get better marks in Eurovision than this performance.
