Author Topic: YogiJessie - Sydenham (So bad I'm basically retired)  (Read 3395 times)


6 review(s) for YogiJessie (0 positive, 1 neutral, 5 negative) [Indexed by Waterhouse]
6 review(s) for this service provider (AdultWork - 5534609) (0 positive, 1 neutral, 5 negative) [Indexed by scutty brown]
6 review(s) for KarinH (0 positive, 1 neutral, 5 negative) [Indexed by scutty brown]

Offline Bigbossman

External Link/Members Only

£100 - 30mins

Venue.
A road just off Sydenham high street near a pub and there's an off license a minute away with a cash machine inside which was handy

About the escorts physical appearance and personality.
Says she's 30 on her profile that's probably accurate, probably size 10-12 got the typical yoga teacher body if that's your thing.

Arranging the meeting.
Pretty straight forward I message her around 1 in the afternoon and came there around 8ish remember this

During the meeting.
Where do I start with this one like I said so bad I'm probably out of the game. Wasn't overly keen but I was stupidly horny and I couldn't be bothered for a long trip so I settled for someone nearby. Arrived at the house around 8 I was welcomed straight into the bedroom where she was wearing her home clothes (solid effort) paperwork sorted we both strip down. Started off with some French kissing then OWO which wasn't great a bit too toothy and only really sucked the tip.

This is where it takes a turn for the worse I ask her to get on top at that point I wanted her to ride me but she goes for the 69 maybe I should've made it clearly and when she goes into the 69 position I could smell something that isn't quite right I could see poo particles near her asshole and her pussy had a different smell/taste quite obviously didn't shower beforehand. At this point I'm struggling to breathe so I've stopped sucking and came with that generic 'you suck dick so good' really I was trying to get some fresh air as she has kept sucking I cummed which was greeted with her saying 'already' alright cheers.

At that point I said 'lets go for round 2 this time I want to fuck' so she started off with more mediocre head which I was struggling to get hard from had to close my eyes and use my imagination to get hard. She goes into her draw and says 'oops I haven't got anymore condoms I'm sorry'

So I messaged you at 1 telling you I'm coming down for 8 and you couldn't check for condoms I suspect this is a trick she does with a lot of punters she then says she can continue sucking me off at that point I wanked myself and finished on her tits. Couldn't be bothered for a mediocre, toothy blowjob.

So there I was £100 down with her smelly pussy smell on my lips and a traumatising image of seeing shit particles near her asshole. Had to nip back to the off license to buy some water to wash my face near my car to get the smell off.

Terrible punt so bad I'm thinking yeah I'm out the game


Offline JohnnyScars

What a terrible punt. Sorry about that OP. If you do find yourself returning, maybe ease yourself back in with well-reviewed girls only.

Offline Xtro

That really is fucking poor of her. Dirty skank!   :thumbsdown:

Sorry to hear about such an awful punt mate. Thanks for reporting.   :hi:

Look for a tried and trusted SP on here instead of a bitch like this with her accumulating Negatives!

Offline Yellowman1

Read this eating my dinner  :vomit:

Sorry for the ‘shitty’ punt

Offline Jerk Chicken

  • Age Check : 18+
  • Banned
  • Posts: 2,106
  • Likes: 25
  •  
  • Reviews: 54
Hey OP my heart bleeds for you!

Thanks for the review. As the others have said if you do come back pick one close to you with decent reviews.

On another note what is going on out there this must be the 3rd review in as many weeks with punters seeing or smelling a shitty ass!!!
« Last Edit: September 13, 2019, 06:08:32 pm by Jerk Chicken »
Banned reason: Previously banned (Sean70) - Pimp, dangerous and using UKP review threats to demand extra services
Banned by: Kev40ish

Offline magnetico

And I'm reading this while eating  :vomit:

Thanks for the warning

Offline LLPunting

  • Age Check : 18+
  • Forum Helper
  • ****
  • Posts: 17,586
  • Likes: 192
  •  
  • Reviews: 360
Shame about how this turned out.  Thanks for the warning.  Always wondered what she might be like after all those years listed on AM and AW.   :drinks:

Have you tried the SPs and place(s) in Downham?  Or up in Crystal Palace and Anerley?  Forest Hill?  Beckenham and Clock House?  Shame Debbies has gone from Penge.

« Last Edit: September 13, 2019, 08:45:28 pm by LLPunting »

Offline Chunk

Must have been terrible for you, sorry to hear it was so bad :scare:

Bad enough having to deal with a stinking pussy and trying to get clear of that :thumbsdown:
But a shitty arse as well :vomit:
Definitely been a disastrous punt for you. :(

Offline averageguy96


I've wanted to see her for quite her a while, I know she got that tight Yoga pussy. the shitty bumhole is tragic but her pussy must be flavoursome ;)  :wacko:

Offline Bigbossman

Shame about how this turned out.  Thanks for the warning.  Always wondered what she might be like after all those years listed on AM and AW.   :drinks:

Have you tried the SPs and place(s) in Downham?  Or up in Crystal Palace and Anerley?  Forest Hill?  Beckenham and Clock House?  Shame Debbies has gone from Penge.

Pretty much nothing around Palace

Offline Bigbossman

I've wanted to see her for quite her a while, I know she got that tight Yoga pussy. the shitty bumhole is tragic but her pussy must be flavoursome ;)  :wacko:

Pussy tasted grim but who know maybe if you book her she may have a shower beforehand, have a condom handy, improve her BJ technique but you’ve read this thread you’ve been warned :)

Offline scutty brown

  • Age Check : 18+
  • Forum Helper
  • ****
  • Posts: 25,923
  • Likes: 562
  •  
  • Reviews: 126
with that hairstyle she looks like a lipstick lesbian

Offline Hobbit

She's already had negative reviews, so I'm surprised you didn't check them out before making the booking as that would have saved you money and a shit time.   :scare:
« Last Edit: September 14, 2019, 04:43:49 pm by Hobbit »

Offline Dutchmaster

Shame this was a disaster for you op, I would be put off for for a long time if something like this hygiene issues happened to me.

Offline Peterbry


Offline Bigbossman

Anyone follow her on insta ? Bit of a sad story wanted to become a teacher in Spain so she lost all her yoga clients here but got rejected for a visa in Spain so she’s back here next month and is broke. Wonder if she’ll drop her prices. Still wouldn’t recommend though service was tragic but might improve now she’s strapped for cash

Offline LLPunting

  • Age Check : 18+
  • Forum Helper
  • ****
  • Posts: 17,586
  • Likes: 192
  •  
  • Reviews: 360
AW still indicates she's in Spain.

Given quarantine requirements and costs she's going to be needing a bunch of money guaranteed to make the effort.

Offline Payyourwaymate

  • Age Check : 18+
  • Forum Helper
  • ****
  • Posts: 5,097
  • Likes: 109
  •  
  • Reviews: 145
Anyone follow her on insta ? Bit of a sad story wanted to become a teacher in Spain so she lost all her yoga clients here but got rejected for a visa in Spain so she’s back here next month and is broke. Wonder if she’ll drop her prices. Still wouldn’t recommend though service was tragic but might improve now she’s strapped for cash

After what you experienced and you still have a slither of hope 2 years later? Wow, I swear men have such soft hearts for women sometimes  :lol:. Safe yourself the trouble and forget her man. It's her problem if she's broke, we're all equal right?

Offline Bigbossman

After what you experienced and you still have a slither of hope 2 years later? Wow, I swear men have such soft hearts for women sometimes  :lol:. Safe yourself the trouble and forget her man. It's her problem if she's broke, we're all equal right?

Trust me even if the price drops I have no intention of going back was just wondering really

Offline S_holmes

Klingons circling Uranus is never a good sign..