Woodlands Naturist Spa, Rettendon

[CautiousJim]

This place has only been open a week or so, but saw fatboy mention it, did some digging and figured it was worth a shot.

Comms: very friendly lady called Louise on the phone. Answered pretty much all questions and even gave quick replies to WhatsApp messages.

Location: it’s out of the way with slightly tight parking in a small rural industrial site. Have to walk past a car breaking building to get to it and there’s the danger of walking into the grotty communal bogs rather than the spa entrance round the corner

Up the steps inside and you’re met by Louise - who is not one of the masseuses! She guides you into the main room where you can get your stuff in a locker and get naked.

She was super friendly and offered all sorts of drinks and direction on using the hot tub (spa bath really) and infa red sauna. I tried these out for about 15 mins and saw maybe two other guys the whole time...but had facilities to myself. Was quite enjoying letting it all hang out but don’t think that’s obligatory.

Girls: I believe three girls were working. I caught a glimpse of India I believe, who looked like a hot blonde (bit like a slightly more meaty Amanda Holden) but think she was busy with someone. While in spa area Sophia or Sophie introduced herself. Again, a hot brunette and possibly Eastern European. Then while in the sauna a pretty smiley blonde girl called Charlotte poked her head around the corner and said hi.

Louise came and asked if I’d chosen...didn’t realise I was meant to, but I went for Charlotte as she was super pretty and seemed very friendly (and quite well spoken)

Service: walked into Charlottes room and she immediately asked if I was after full service! I hadn’t really planned on that, just a massage and a hj - maybe a bj if I was lucky. I kind of agreed but was keen to get a massage.

She was naked from the beginning, and did a decent job massaging my back and legs. Turned over and straight into hand relief and kissing. She’d soon knelt up on the table between my legs giving a great eye contact bj. It was then I noticed her ass in the big mirror.

Getting up I asked her to put her ass in the air on the table and got my tongue in as deep as possible. Great - and she seemed to like it. Moved her onto her back and went for more kissing which she seemed a bit more into now. Then pulled her legs up for more rimming before standing near her head for more oral on me.

She asked if I wanted a condom now and I just couldn’t resist, so rubbered up, fucking her while she was on her back before moving to doggy. Pulled out before coming, whipped the rubber off and she got on her knees so I could finish over her beautiful pert tits!

Overall: cost £60 for massage/spa use and £60 directly to Charlotte so not cheap overall for 30mins. Although with spa time it was more like 45 mins. And in all honestly, for the hospitality received, the use of some nice facilities and the super friendly and very hot Charlotte seeing to your every need I’d say it’s a bargain! In fact, if I was playing Fantasy Fuck Finder, this lot would be the dream team.

External Link/Members Only

Worth noting that Charlotte doesn’t appear on the rota here, but images can be found on the clarklands spa website (although she’s brunette in those I think) as I think she’s mainly been there before.

[Watts.E.Dunn]

Wonder if they'd open a branch in Cambridge?

No 'effing chance:(

[CautiousJim]

Well, if there’s a market for it...

Pretty sweet set-up; tucked away with a bit of security, half plausible cover about being a spa and I believe the pictures of one of their girls is the same as a local wg on adultwork...so basically a safe-ish place for girls to work from. It’s probably what a legalised brothel should look like.

Guess it wouldn’t be too tricky to set one up in Cambridge

[Hobbies]

Great review thanks, could you spend longer in the spa area or is there a time limit, just think an hour in the spa then 1/2 with a massage sounds ok.

[CautiousJim]

They didn’t give a time constraint as such, but the maid lady wasn’t shy in asking if I’d chosen. Didn’t feel rushed though and not sure you could spend an hour in there without getting a bit bored. It’s basically one room

[PleadInsanity]

Good review CJ, I've not been to a spar set up but quite like the sound of it from your review.

[CautiousJim]

Happy to help. It’s a nice set up and didn’t really feel seedy. Plus the girls were very attractive unlike most massage parlours

[fatboy]

Thanks Jim, nice review, very helpful. A bit pricey but would make a nice pamper session.
Am very tempted. Interested in who you think the local WG is but if you don't want to say then that's OK.
When I drove past there last week I did think it was a bit cramped with the other businesses there.
Did you book a time slot or just arrive when you felt like it ?
Cheers, FB. 

[CautiousJim]

I didn’t book a time but phoned ahead to check there was availability. Guess it may not be like this if they get more popular. The wg is a Southend area one called English Amy or something - but the pics are identical to India at woodlands.

[90125]

I would visit sooner rather than later. The police have been very active in closing down other brothels in the area over recent years. This place just seems too open as a FS parlour rather than a massage place with extras.

[fatboy]

Yes, my thoughts exactly especially as it is in an out of the way place.
Increased comings and goings might get noticed.....FB.

[CautiousJim]

This is a fair point although the small yard type industrial estate probably has plenty of comings and goings anyway, there aren’t many residences nearby that would particularly notice and get the feeling the car breakers by it are cool with it.

It shouldn’t cause any interference to local residents I would think...doesn’t mean they won’t get annoyed about it if they find out though! Maybe I shouldn’t have reviewed!!!

[Sparta Prada]

This place is conveniently located for me.

But the possibility of bumping into other guys, located on an exposed industrial unit, and the relatively high cost for 30 minutes means I'll have this place as a Plan C at best for me.

[CautiousJim]

The estate isn’t too exposed if that helps...

[Spermwhale1966]

Charlotte doesn't show on their rota
Can the OP give a more detailed description ?

[Skippy2708]

The estate isn’t too exposed if that helps...

Did a drive by today on my Motorbike plenty of large SPA signs but a couple of grease monkeys lurking around so you have to be bold!

[Skippy2708]

Charlotte doesn't show on their rota
Can the OP give a more detailed description ?

OP stated this ‘Worth noting that Charlotte doesn’t appear on the rota here, but images can be found on the clarklands spa website (although she’s brunette in those I think) as I think she’s mainly been there before‘.

[CautiousJim]

You do have to be a bit bold but they’ve probably all paid it a visit!

As for Charlotte, the photos on the other site look incredible and I’d say they’re 85 % accurate. She’s blonde now, pretty face (defo a head turner with good teeth) and probably a trim size 8 to 10. Breasts are very pert and a good handful (they may be fake but good if so). Super smooth skin, shaved and probably the hottest wg or masseur I’ve come across. Not sure what else I can add...but I’d certainly go back for more!!

[workinallweek]

 Leanne looks interesting does she work anywhere else ?    so its full service ?

[CautiousJim]

I guess it may be down to each girl. Maybe I just got lucky! But all the girls I saw were walking around in underwear of some description so it’s likely to be a good time whatever!!

[Feeling Hopefull]

I had a drive by late about 8.30, still had a couple of mechanic looking men sitting outside, plan to go soon but that might put me off

[Skippy2708]

You do have to be a bit bold but they’ve probably all paid it a visit!

Looking at them they probably couldn’t afford a wet wank on a windy day!

[muffdazzler]

Who cares if you bump into someone going in unless you live there?! Hayley used to work at Northampton and also Club Phoenix as a couple of pics the same. Super hot looking and never got the chance. Reportedly Hungarian though surprisingly never seen a review here.

[Skippy2708]

Who cares if you bump into someone going in unless you live there?!

And that’s exactly my point, I live there!

[Ivan Drago]

it sounds to me like this just a knocking shop with an expensive entrance fee

[Daveg]

Re India from the Woodlands site

External Link/Members Only
External Link/Members Only

Dave

[Sparta Prada]

Re India from the Woodlands site

External Link/Members Only
External Link/Members Only

Dave

Hmm, she's been on AW for over 2 years. Her one AW feedback is from Mickeeboy whose feedback I never trust for some reason.

[CautiousJim]

I know what you mean about his reviews.

Few additions. The girl I saw is the one in the video - swear she’s even hotter in the flesh.

Also noticed in their ‘about’ section they mention party bookings available...wonder if that means what I think?

And lastly, has anyone else been there yet? Be good to get some other reviews

[CautiousJim]

So, I went again.

Did have to walk past two guys loading a van which is admittedly awkward.

Guy called Adam was at reception. Nice bloke.

Think only two girls were working and one was busy so, after a bit of sauna time I was in a room with a Russian girl called Helena. Pics on her site are probably her but a tad flattering I think. She had quite Russian features facially and if you saw her in a club you’d think ‘I would’ rather than ‘she’s stunning’. Not particularly slender either, but a soft, smooth size 10 or 12 with quite a firm ass.

Anyway, paid 60 on door and 60 in room for 30mins. Started with a token massage but she was soon cupping my balls and hard cock from behind as I lay down. Span over and stood up for ow - don’t think owo was on the menu, but it was decent with some pleasing tongue flicks.

Bent her over for some rimming then fucked her in a few positions before cumming. There was some French kissing too which was nice but felt a little held back. She was also pretty good with the dirty talk which I found arousing.

She did suggest she could give me a prostate massage next time for an ultimate orgasm which is tempting...although despite her good service I think my lack of attraction to her would make me try another of the girls first.

Saw the other girl working that day, possibly Amanda. She was Eastern European I’d guess, about size 10 and 5 ft 7 with blonde hair and wearing a cute masseur tunic and not much else. Slightly plain face and possibly bad complexion hidden under cover up make up stuff. Didn’t find her that attractive either but her ass looked good.

Overall I’d give it a positive as the level of service and hospitality is very good. There are a few on the rota I’d like to visit - Zara, Leanne and possibly India. Although, the memory of Charlotte is still hard to shake!

[dieseldriver]

I'm planning a visit Saturday. While OH staying overnight with friends elsewhere, now got chance for some extra fun.
So can you say if its only one guy at a time using it, or what happens if others turn up? Would I be sharing the spa facilities with other customers? Leanne looks nice, but no pics for Jennifer?

[CautiousJim]

I’ve been twice and the first time I saw two guys - one in his 50s probably, wearing a towel and being taken to a room, and another fit figured guy probably in his late 20s who came past while I was in sauna just to go and get changed.

Last time there was one guy there but I never saw him.

So essentially I’ve had the sauna, showers and bath thing to myself both times and I’d feel pretty confident you’d have a similar experience as they must start allocating times if they think it will get busy as it’s not that big - and they only have two or three girls working.

It’s worth phoning on the day to find out which girl is working...the rota doesn’t seem massively accurate. Think the girls are all independent and probably a bit flakey so they probably have to call in stand-bys quite often.

Have fun though. And make sure you add a review if you see one of the girls I haven’t

[dieseldriver]

Have fun though. And make sure you add a review if you see one of the girls I haven’t

According to the rota its Leanne and Jennifer on a Saturday. However, if OH changes mind and don't go then I can't go there same time. But with only two, recon perhaps just see one other another guy?

[CautiousJim]

That’s what I’d presume

[CautiousJim]

I'm planning a visit Saturday. While OH staying overnight with friends elsewhere, now got chance for some extra fun.
So can you say if its only one guy at a time using it, or what happens if others turn up? Would I be sharing the spa facilities with other customers? Leanne looks nice, but no pics for Jennifer?

Did you make it there? Any thoughts on it if so?

[dieseldriver]

Did you make it there? Any thoughts on it if so?

No, our availability times didn't match up. So saw hello 2019 in Upminster. Left a positive review.   

[dieseldriver]

Confusion on site? On the masseuse rota says Sunday closed. But on the home page says Sunday 11am - 6pm

[EquineLover]

Thinking of giving this place a visit. If FS is offered, how much extra should I bring with? I’ve seen £60 mentioned here, is it the same cost if for example I’ve already paid for an hour at the door?

[dieseldriver]

Confusion on site? On the masseuse rota says Sunday closed. But on the home page says Sunday 11am - 6pm

Called and was told not open Sundays but have plans to do so. Whenever that is?

[workinallweek]

Leanne  anyone seen her ?

[Mr333]

Wonder if they'd open a branch in Cambridge?

No 'effing chance:(

I'm sure there's a sister establishment called Clarklands Spa near Sawbridgeworth, a bit closer to Cambridge.

Looks similar set-up and some of the girls are shared. I recognise some of the girls from London parties and I wouldn't mind a chance of a 1-2-1, though lack of transparency on the pricing has put me off.

[pepsicolaboy]

I'm sure there's a sister establishment called Clarklands Spa near Sawbridgeworth, a bit closer to Cambridge.

Looks similar set-up and some of the girls are shared. I recognise some of the girls from London parties and I wouldn't mind a chance of a 1-2-1, though lack of transparency on the pricing has put me off.

Do you mean that prices are not on their website for extras or the fact SP can ask what they like once in room and you have read that prices are varying?

From what I read on here quickly it's a further £60 in the room for FS.

I assume it can't be transparent and on the site as they trading as a massage/relaxation place etc 

[CautiousJim]

I expect that each girl is independent and sets their own price. But it’s been £60 twice (so £120) all in - expensive but I still reckon it’s worth it for the venue and fact it’s run by nice, normal folk who seem trustworthy... so no hint that any of the girls are trafficked, no confusion over service due to language barriers etc

[Mr333]

I expect that each girl is independent and sets their own price. But it’s been £60 twice (so £120) all in - expensive but I still reckon it’s worth it for the venue and fact it’s run by nice, normal folk who seem trustworthy... so no hint that any of the girls are trafficked, no confusion over service due to language barriers etc

Exactly, the extras you pay the girls are not advertised and £120 total sounds way over the odds for 30mins locally.

If the pimps who run the spa are keeping the £60, that's why it's a rip-off.

If you value anonymity/discretion, you wouldn't want to be hanging around the spa facilities as it's obvious why you're there.

[CautiousJim]

Although you could get a massage from a sexy girl and use some good facilities for £60 which isn’t bad.


Can’t believe nobody else has visited...be keen to see other reviews

[Skippy2708]

Can’t believe nobody else has visited...be keen to see other reviews

CJ, I would love to visit but as a local I am concerned as to the spas location being in close proximity to other businesses.

[MarkS69]

This sounds like the kind of place that I'd really enjoy visiting, but to be honest, if they have a lot of foreign girls working there it's pretty much asking to be raided by the police at some point. I'm always up for a bit of risky fun, but this place seems almost too risky for me... 

[CautiousJim]

I did ask about police on second visit and they said the police had come by but ‘they weren’t doing anything wrong’ so it was fine. Imagine with foreign girls they’re most keen on finding trafficked girls...but I’d put good money on all these girls being independent from the spa