External Link/Members OnlyIn Reading for a few days last month and I thought I'd treat myself. I've seen quite a few great FBSM providers in SE London in my neck of the woods but never gone tantric before.
I tried a few of the other local massage people but none of them were replying so I thought why not splash out on the 120 tantric experience. Got upsold on the phone to the 150 treatment and I thought why not treat myself, if I'm going to go full tantra why not go tantra, nuru and assisted shower.... So I jumped in the shower and rushed over in a black cab with a real sense of anticipation.
Like a terrible, low budget comedy horror film the experience was so god awfully bad it is actually amusing.
When I arrived the place looked shabby and kind of like how you would expect a 70's knocking shop to look from the outside (inside was worse...). Rang the doorbell and was greeted by a surly looking woman (probably late 20's or early 30's I'm a terrible judge) who sounded Eastern European for the very few words she spoke. Solidly built (to put it mildly) and wearing what looked like the kind of nightie my gran would have worn and slippers. Huge breasts though, and I'm not one to judge a book by it's cover, although this one was war and piece with all the sexiness and humour expunged. However I was here for the tantric experience and not for a new girlfriend so looks are secondary to me if the service is exceptional (and for the price I was assuming it would be)... However I immediately clocked that B2B was out of the question unless they had an industrial strength table.
Paid the 150 for 75 minutes and stripped and got on the table. Massage was pretty firm and she probably could have given a pretty decent theraputic deep tissue massage, but erotic it was not.. Not helped by the odd smell in the room, the dark, dingy interior of the place and the terrible, terrible pop music she kept playing. But by this point I decided to see if through for shits and giggles and for a story to tell down the pub. Massage was supposed to be naturist and b2b but I could feel she had only taken off her top... Proceeded to do a general massage and occasionally lean over and rub her humongous wangers over me (and her equally humungus gut which although unerotic felt oddly maternal, as if I was being covered in a womb like wall of flesh)
Kept going like that for a while and then she developed a calf fetish and seemed to rub them for about 20+ minutes.. But par for the course.
About 45 minutes in she started playing with the goods and a couple of minutes later asks me to turn over (making her total word count around 10) and proceeded with a quick build up and a pretty good hand job for 5 minutes. Usually I'd prolong things to get the most out of it, but without direct stimulation I would have struggled to maintain MrBig so lay back, asked if I could touch her as at least she had impressive funbags, she said yes and then when I went to touch them moved my hand to her back whilst keeping her arms in the way of me copping a feel.
So with the dunkirk spirit setting in and her actual HR technique quite good I made for the finish quickly, just a couple of minutes past the hour.
I then lay there as she wiped the litres of oil of me expecting the final 15 minutes to be a facial massage or assisted shower to try to get the rest of the oil off (no nuru gel was used to my knowledge) but got asked if I wanted a shower, handed a towel and shown to a cubical which she would have struggled to fit in solo, let alone with me....
All in all I'm £150 down, 15 minutes short and to make matters worse got pissed down on with rain on the walk back and then the Thai restaurant I was planning to go to appeared to have vanished into thin air....
I did text the agency to express my displeasure, but surprise surprise no reply!
I tried looking at their gallery to work out who it was, but I haven't a clue, it could have been Katie as Her photo on Amythyst shows neither her face or her body and the woman I saw had long dark hair... But I suspect total bait and switch!
Interestingly all the feedback on the website is for Shelly who was listed as working in reading today, but this was definitely not her!
Would I recommend? Only to a committed masochist!
