Hong Thong - Ellesmere Port - Thai Massage (Massage Only)

[Thephoenix]

External Link/Members Only

First of all,  this was a positive for me, even though no extras were available, so if that's of no interest to you then no point in reading the review

Hongthong Thai massage, not long opened in the main street of Ellesmere Port.

Not had the best of experiences in parlors lately,  probably because of conflict between Ol' Codger brain and Dick brain.
This time codger brain had decided he would try out a new venue and just enjoy a nice relaxing massage with no obvious expectations of any extras.
Dick brain wasn't too pleased but agreed as long as blue pill was taken just on the off chance, and also that I wouldn't use a towel to cover me.

Older lady on desk and young pretty girl doing massage.

Just as I suspected,  asked to complete form with usual personal details and any problems.
It's amazing how many John Smiths of Acacia Avenue in perfect health visit these places.

Everything about the room was nice,  so as agreed with dick brain laid down with no towel and awaited my fate.

My whole body was then covered by a towel, soft massage was agreed, and only the parts being massaged were uncovered.

Now I've had lots of massages over many years, and what followed was definitely up there with the best for pure relaxation and stress reduction.......even dick brain went to sleep.
There was no attempt to go near the nether regions, and no hint of any extras,  but the massage was so good I didn't care.

A short friendly chat in the foyer afterwards with a glass of iced water rounded off a positive experience, but don't think there's any chance of extras here.

Dick brain wasn't too disappointed, but he did remind on the way home that the blue pill was probably still in the system so we agreed to catch up with the latest xhamster offerings when we got home.

1 hours massage £40.

[dubs]

You do realise that this is a punting forum don’t you?

[GingerNuts]

You do realise that this is a punting forum don’t you?

You do realise that reviews highlighting no extras were available are useful to those, such as yourself, who want them?

[Thephoenix]

You do realise that reviews highlighting no extras were available are useful to those, such as yourself, who want them?

Ah thanks!.... that's what my response would have been.

That's why I posted the review.........sorry, thought it was obvious.

It says massage reviews......there might have been extras available.

Questions are frequently asked about whether extras are available at various places.

Hopefully I've saved people time, money and disappointment by reviewing this place.
 
😇 Happy punting

[steveee]

Nice one. Useful info  Cheers

[Thephoenix]

Hello............this is Thephoenix dickbrain.

The Ol Codger is having his afternoon nap. Nurse has given him his pills and changed his incontinence pants, so he'l be away for a while.
Just to let you know he really is an old sod, long in the teeth (I've seen them on his bedside table), and well past his sell by date.

He probably thinks that there must be other Ol' Codgers in this little community, and that they might get some benefits from reading his pathetic reviews, and I (Dickbrain) will encourage hime so long as I have any blood still reaching my huge member.

I've been reading all the posts in the general punting forum, and there's obviously some very learned experts there.
They've been going on about how you know if a girl's had an organism!
Up North we keep things simple...for example, if you're shagging a Wigan girl, you know if she's having an organism, because she drops her steak and kidney pie!

Likewise, blokes up here know that we've all got 2 brains.....in my case it's Ol'Codger brain and myself...Dick Brain.

Ol'Codger brain should have let me write the review.........
It would have been something like this;-

I was standing by the bar in The William Jessup pub in Ellesmere Port, supping my seventh pint of bitter and getting sucked off by the barmaid, when I noticed some Thai Judy going into the massage parlour opposite.
I thought I wouldn't mind giving her one with my massive big hairy cock, so I went across for a massage.

Paid £40 quid and I could see that the young bird was gagging for it!!!!😝

Are you keeping with me?

Into the room....she put a towel over me.....she was obviously a bit frightened when she glimpse the old todger,  throbbing madly and oozing pre cum.

The next hour must have been amazing and exhausting, as I must have passed out, probably cumming at least three times, although I don't remember anything really, apart from hearing her cough a couple of times, probably to try and stifle the gushing organisms she was having.

As she woke me up, there seemed to be spunk all over me......or maybe it was just massage oil???😶😶.

I'll probably go back and get it for free next time........like all these places, you just keep groping and they can't resist can they??.......might even get anal next time....what d'yer reckon?😂

[chesterpunter]

Called in there yesterday before reading the reviews sadly.
Should have walked when she handed me a clipboard and started talking about past medical problems.
Wrapped up in a towell despite being naked and uncovered when she walked in.
No hint of exstras but a good massage never the less.
Not going back as parking was shit and also saw no hint of anything other than an oily rubdown.

[hungrypunt]

Cheers OP.

I often wonder how long they can last in a place like Ellesmere port WITHOUT offering extras. Even Baan Bussaba in Warringon on the busy road went all legit but then wasnt long before extra where on the cards again.
Unless they make money by other means 

[Delfrommem]

Drove past this place t’other day and as it is called Hong Thong got my hopes up   

....but as it turns out from this review...no thongs, no fondles, so a big thankyou to the OP for the heads up.

Have to agree with hungry punt though - how long they going to last in Ellie Port without extras?Hopefully there will be developments..maybe I will give it a couple of months and see if it will live up to it’s name. 

[T13]

Hello............this is Thephoenix dickbrain.

The Ol Codger is having his afternoon nap. Nurse has given him his pills and changed his incontinence pants, so he'l be away for a while.
Just to let you know he really is an old sod, long in the teeth (I've seen them on his bedside table), and well past his sell by date.

He probably thinks that there must be other Ol' Codgers in this little community, and that they might get some benefits from reading his pathetic reviews, and I (Dickbrain) will encourage hime so long as I have any blood still reaching my huge member.

I've been reading all the posts in the general punting forum, and there's obviously some very learned experts there.
They've been going on about how you know if a girl's had an organism!
Up North we keep things simple...for example, if you're shagging a Wigan girl, you know if she's having an organism, because she drops her steak and kidney pie!

Likewise, blokes up here know that we've all got 2 brains.....in my case it's Ol'Codger brain and myself...Dick Brain.

Ol'Codger brain should have let me write the review.........
It would have been something like this;-

I was standing by the bar in The William Jessup pub in Ellesmere Port, supping my seventh pint of bitter and getting sucked off by the barmaid, when I noticed some Thai Judy going into the massage parlour opposite.
I thought I wouldn't mind giving her one with my massive big hairy cock, so I went across for a massage.

Paid £40 quid and I could see that the young bird was gagging for it!!!!😝

Are you keeping with me?

Into the room....she put a towel over me.....she was obviously a bit frightened when she glimpse the old todger,  throbbing madly and oozing pre cum.

The next hour must have been amazing and exhausting, as I must have passed out, probably cumming at least three times, although I don't remember anything really, apart from hearing her cough a couple of times, probably to try and stifle the gushing organisms she was having.

As she woke me up, there seemed to be spunk all over me......or maybe it was just massage oil???😶😶.

I'll probably go back and get it for free next time........like all these places, you just keep groping and they can't resist can they??.......might even get anal next time....what d'yer reckon?😂

Im confused to fuck now

[hockogrockle]

Drove past this place t’other day and as it is called Hong Thong got my hopes up   

....but as it turns out from this review...no thongs, no fondles, so a big thankyou to the OP for the heads up.

Have to agree with hungry punt though - how long they going to last in Ellie Port without extras?Hopefully there will be developments..maybe I will give it a couple of months and see if it will live up to it’s name. 

I would always give a review like the one that started the thread off a negative score.
This is a PUNTING website. If a place that might offer punts doesn't offer them, a negative serves a a warning that you will be wasting you time going there, If somebody has enjoyed their platonic massage, I am sure there must be a website called "ukphysiotherapy" (or something), where a positive review would be entirely appropriate. On this website, the experience has to be reviewed from the punting perspective: no punt equals no positive. It has to be so. Otherwise this website is going to get cluttered up with irrelevant reviews of reflexologists, aromatherapists, faith healers and the like.

[lpopo]

Hello............this is Thephoenix dickbrain.

The Ol Codger is having his afternoon nap. Nurse has given him his pills and changed his incontinence pants, so he'l be away for a while.
Just to let you know he really is an old sod, long in the teeth (I've seen them on his bedside table), and well past his sell by date.

He probably thinks that there must be other Ol' Codgers in this little community, and that they might get some benefits from reading his pathetic reviews, and I (Dickbrain) will encourage hime so long as I have any blood still reaching my huge member.

I've been reading all the posts in the general punting forum, and there's obviously some very learned experts there.
They've been going on about how you know if a girl's had an organism!
Up North we keep things simple...for example, if you're shagging a Wigan girl, you know if she's having an organism, because she drops her steak and kidney pie!

Likewise, blokes up here know that we've all got 2 brains.....in my case it's Ol'Codger brain and myself...Dick Brain.

Ol'Codger brain should have let me write the review.........
It would have been something like this;-

I was standing by the bar in The William Jessup pub in Ellesmere Port, supping my seventh pint of bitter and getting sucked off by the barmaid, when I noticed some Thai Judy going into the massage parlour opposite.
I thought I wouldn't mind giving her one with my massive big hairy cock, so I went across for a massage.

Paid £40 quid and I could see that the young bird was gagging for it!!!!😝

Are you keeping with me?

Into the room....she put a towel over me.....she was obviously a bit frightened when she glimpse the old todger,  throbbing madly and oozing pre cum.

The next hour must have been amazing and exhausting, as I must have passed out, probably cumming at least three times, although I don't remember anything really, apart from hearing her cough a couple of times, probably to try and stifle the gushing organisms she was having.

As she woke me up, there seemed to be spunk all over me......or maybe it was just massage oil???😶😶.

I'll probably go back and get it for free next time........like all these places, you just keep groping and they can't resist can they??.......might even get anal next time....what d'yer reckon?😂

The fuck is that?

[gbyld87]

I quite enjoyed it.  Bit of fun 

[hockogrockle]

I quite enjoyed it.  Bit of fun 

If you enjoy drivel.

[steveee]

If you enjoy drivel. Ha ha Nice one

[daviemac]

I would always give a review like the one that started the thread off a negative score.
This is a PUNTING website. If a place that might offer punts doesn't offer them, a negative serves a a warning that you will be wasting you time going there, If somebody has enjoyed their platonic massage, I am sure there must be a website called "ukphysiotherapy" (or something), where a positive review would be entirely appropriate. On this website, the experience has to be reviewed from the punting perspective: no punt equals no positive. It has to be so. Otherwise this website is going to get cluttered up with irrelevant reviews of reflexologists, aromatherapists, faith healers and the like.

You are free to rate your experiences as you wish, however it is not up to you to tell others how to rate their's. There is a section, that was introduced by OldAdmin, dedicated to massages that stands at 77 pages, whether or not extras are available is useful information to those who indulge in the massage scene.

For a lot of punters the quality of the massage is more important than any extras, those who are not interested are free to ignore the threads.

[Thephoenix]

Wow!...... It looks like the driver's hit the fan.

To my critics...... Fair comments.......and no problem to me.
I've been insulted by experts.

Don't know whether you read from the start.

If so, you might have seen that the drivel was just a tongue in cheek attempt at responding to the original reply regarding this being a punting forum,  and then some further responses in support of my original review.

Hilarious that anyone took it seriously!

On the matter of the original review which was way back in July:-
This was a new parlour with no previous reviews.

The phrase TOFTT comes to mind,  and that was my intention.
I was hoping that extras might be available.
They weren't, but the massage itself was very good.
Perhaps I should have put it as a neutral,.....however for ME, I enjoyed it so much I rated it as positive,  with the heading 'massage only'

I've read many other similar reviews in this section where members have tried new parlours with a view to relating their experience, be it good or bad, extras or not etc, and I think these reviews are helpful to other members.

Of course the drivel was drivel...... Blimey some blokes get upset so easily.

Anyway, ....at least I know now that if you want my opinion on reviews........ You'll give it to me!