D'Lectable Lauren - Portsmouth

[south_fifty]

External Link/Members Only

Met Lauren in May this year after seeing several glowing reviews of her on here.

Paid £260 for two hours which appeared good value for an UK provider.

Initial comms via email and answered promptly.  I'd booked two weeks in advance as my 'available' days are limited and I wanted to ensure I got a booking.

Flat near dock, texted when I arrived and directed in easily, door open so no need to wait awkwardly.

Initial thoughts were disappointing and in hindsight should have walked. Much older than 38, probably 45+ nearer 50 maybe.  Also nowhere near as trim a figure as the photos show.  She said that it was her birthday recently and she'd been eating cake. The lack of trimness was more than cake more like middle age spread.

Wearing lingerie which looked OK, I'd asked for some cleavage to be showing hoping that removing clothing would prolong the event, but was wearing a thin top over the underwear.

Anyway I pay up and immediately into really deep kissing which I like. Onto the bed kissing continues with her hand down my trousers which is good. 

We soon get naked and she sucks my cock plenty, on with the condom and she sits on top of me and rides me.  It didn't take long before I came in the rubber inside her.

We sit and chat for a while with lots more kissing.  Its strikes me that her conversational skills are not great, I think shes an Essex girl and I think that sums it up.

Once round two nears I go down on her which is bit stubbly and since I did not find her that attractive, I wasn't really into it.

I get hard and onto round two which is missionary.  It takes me a while to cum and she encourages me which helps.

Back to the clean up, some more chat, kissing and an attempt at round 3 which I knew wouldn't happen in the time left.

I left 15 minutes early since I did not have any connection or desire to stay and make small talk any longer.

Would I return?   Maybe knowing what to expect and that she's an enthusiastic kisser and up for a good rogering.

To summarise.
- Older than her profile,
- Not as good looking as her profile and not such a good figure
- Limited services
+ Plenty of kissing
+ Willing to please with the sex
+ Good value.

[DrConners]

Met Lauren in May this year after seeing several glowing reviews of her on here.

Really ? I think you'll find a couple of them were posted with her consent & the most recent was obviously damage control.

Initial thoughts were disappointing and in hindsight should have walked. Much older than 38, probably 45+ nearer 50 maybe.  Also nowhere near as trim a figure as the photos show.  She said that it was her birthday recently and she'd been eating cake. The lack of trimness was more than cake more like middle age spread.

Its strikes me that her conversational skills are not great, I think shes an Essex girl and I think that sums it up.

Once round two nears I go down on her which is bit stubbly and since I did not find her that attractive, I wasn't really into it.

I left 15 minutes early since I did not have any connection or desire to stay and make small talk any longer.

Would I return?   Maybe knowing what to expect and that she's an enthusiastic kisser and up for a good rogering.

So keep your expectations low ................ really low 

To summarise.
- Older than her profile,
- Not as good looking as her profile and not such a good figure
- Limited services
+ Plenty of kissing
+ Willing to please with the sex
+ Good value.

I hate to quote the vitriolic bile she spouts but :

Dr Conners, you have never met me so how you could possibly know I'm airbrushed to fuck is quite astounding. My telephone continues to ring daily, that's because I'm the fittest I've ever been and obviously still a very attractive beautiful woman. Clients travel from all over the UK to visit for an hour. Clients I've been seeing for years. And I find it quite bizarre why you tryed to book me considering I'm an old hag? So glad I cancelled you which is something I rarely do. And as for do I have bareback sex with my ex partner. Yes why shouldn't I. That's why we have sexual health clinics. Perhaps you should look one up.
Yes I may have mentioned I had a boyfriend which was odd?. Well what's good for the goose is good for the gander.

So maybe think about booking a health check at a GUM clinic for your peace of mind 

Cheers for the review, I've blacklisted her anyway so she doesn't come up in any AW searches.

Good to hear the old nag is still knocking about 

[aronteo]

Thank you for your review. I concur with what you said - I saw her a while ago and walked.....

Close to 50 and well past her prime - she must have been good looking in her youth, but the pics on her profile are no longer realistic..., she is an old rug now...

She was not unpleasant but she had this kind of forced overly nice attitude which annoyed me - plus, she was wearing heavy make-up, and God knows how many layers of body cremes and moisturisers.......(overwhelming and overpowering.....) - I could post a review as well if folks think that would be useful, but not much more to say apart from the above......