Layover lays

[Marmalade]

Layover lays — airport cities where you can get to a shaghole within 30mins of the airport while waiting for a connecting flight.

If you are going long haul and have say 3hrs between legs, then some airports are handier than others for opening fanny legs before the next leg. 

They’re not places where most people will have done extensive research, and most info on the place would be redundant, but quickie guides so fellow punters can empty their balls are surely useful?

Singapore, Frankfurt, Brussels are options — anywhere else?

They could be added to UKP Wiki together with quick info on how to make use of the ‘facilities’!

[yobbra]

One of my fav ever punting stories happened at an airport hotel and it didn't involve any punting!  Me and a few mates were at the bar in a well known chain hotel at Gatwick prior to flying the next morning.  The bar bill was getting rather large and the most obvious SP walked into the lobby and i said to the lads 'i bet you the bar bill that bird is a hooker'.   One guy said 'ok how the fuck do you know she is a hooker?' she could just be a business woman going to her hotel.

She went straiight through the lobbby to the lift and didn't really know where the lift was so it was certain she was a SP.  I said 'right its 8pm now if she walks out of the hotel between 845pm to 910pm or 945pm to 1010pm i win the bet if she doesn't i will pay the bar bill if not you have to pay it'.  Bang on 9pm exactly she comes out of the lift to huge cheers of laughter from the bar and walks straight out of the lobby.

[niftyfiftydave]

Had an enforced paid for lay over in Geneva, boy was everything expensive, going down for breakfast i clocked a young black african cleaner, on the way back chanced me arm knowing i had another 2 hours before taxi arrived.
She says what will you give me, 50 quid, she says give me 5 minutes i get condoms, 2 hours later phone goes for taxi, she was hanging out the window waving me off lol.

[Corus Boy]

Probably ten year back there was a website, maybe it still exists, called Airport Girls.

Just a website with listing airports, airport locations and WGs who are close by or happy to travel there at short notice, if available.

[Marmalade]

Had an enforced paid for lay over in Geneva, boy was everything expensive, going down for breakfast i clocked a young black african cleaner, on the way back chanced me arm knowing i had another 2 hours before taxi arrived.
She says what will you give me, 50 quid, she says give me 5 minutes i get condoms, 2 hours later phone goes for taxi, she was hanging out the window waving me off lol.

Worth adding Geneva to the list -- Fast train into central station, cross over one block and to the left and it's short-time hookerville. Daytime ones very pleasant and polite, meet on the street and go upstairs to a decent pad. Nighttime a bit more wary and prices go up. Downside (apart from not that heap) is that Geneva isn't a major hub, but still worth noting if it happens to be on the way somewhere.

[niftyfiftydave]

Worth adding Geneva to the list -- Fast train into central station, cross over one block and to the left and it's short-time hookerville. Daytime ones very pleasant and polite, meet on the street and go upstairs to a decent pad. Nighttime a bit more wary and prices go up. Downside (apart from not that heap) is that Geneva isn't a major hub, but still worth noting if it happens to be on the way somewhere.

Nothing cheap in Geneva, i often joke that the maid was the cheapest thing i paid for and it ain,t far from the truth.

[mexicola]

Amsterdam Schiphol.  Very easy to get the train into the city centre. A 4hr layover flies buy then back to the airport for quick one in the Heineken bar before the flight

[Marmalade]

Amsterdam Schiphol.  Very easy to get the train into the city centre. A 4hr layover flies buy then back to the airport for quick one in the Heineken bar before the flight

I’ve sometimes wondered about Schiphol. Overlooking the (generally regarded) poor vfm at the windows, do you have a clear recollection of the time-frame? I’m thinking the train is probably 15mins, then 10-15 walk to the RLD. Although I go through Schiphol probably more than once a year, I think I’m mostly occupied trying to get from one gate to another and then there’s all that business about non-Schengen to Schengen zone. So assuming my luggage is checked through, how long do I need to find the station, buy my ticket and get to the windows for unloading into a wee immigrant slapper?

(As a sub-question, in case anyone knows differently, I’d rate AMS p&d below most European cities for vfm... but one can’t always choose where to transfer. Certainly AMS is a more promising choice than the dreaded CDG!)

[Marmalade]

Had an enforced paid for lay over in Geneva, boy was everything expensive, going down for breakfast i clocked a young black african cleaner, on the way back chanced me arm knowing i had another 2 hours before taxi arrived.
She says what will you give me, 50 quid, she says give me 5 minutes i get condoms, 2 hours later phone goes for taxi, she was hanging out the window waving me off lol.

Yes, Swiss prices suck. I think 50 Euros is about standard from last time I went but the service was quite pleasant. So not far off Brussels pricewise (which has more choice) but more expensive than a German Eros Center or the cheap-cheap places.

[SN5]

I’ve sometimes wondered about Schiphol. Overlooking the (generally regarded) poor vfm at the windows, do you have a clear recollection of the time-frame? I’m thinking the train is probably 15mins, then 10-15 walk to the RLD. Although I go through Schiphol probably more than once a year, I think I’m mostly occupied trying to get from one gate to another and then there’s all that business about non-Schengen to Schengen zone. So assuming my luggage is checked through, how long do I need to find the station, buy my ticket and get to the windows for unloading into a wee immigrant slapper?

I had a few hours layover in AMS back end of last year so decided to head to the city. Realistically you're looking at 15-20 mins from exiting the plane, passport check and walking down to the general arrivals/station area. You're maybe waiting 10 mins for the train, which takes 15 mins to Centraal, then a 20 mins walk to RLD or longer if going anywhere else in the city by tram. There's one hour, so you really want at least 3 hours free to make any trip away from the airport worthwhile.

[Marmalade]

I had a few hours layover in AMS back end of last year so decided to head to the city. Realistically you're looking at 15-20 mins from exiting the plane, passport check and walking down to the general arrivals/station area. You're maybe waiting 10 mins for the train, which takes 15 mins to Centraal, then a 20 mins walk to RLD or longer if going anywhere else in the city by tram. There's one hour, so you really want at least 3 hours free to make any trip away from the airport worthwhile.

Useful info. I’d add a bit more for getting back at least on the first excursion (e.g. going through security again, finding the departure gate) but at least now we have a rough plan to make the layover productive. Just need to hope the three hours aren't early morning when most of the whores are sleeping or whatever they do.

[Marmalade]

I suppose we can also add Edinburgh (although it’s not a hub). Get the airport Airlink bus from right outside the terminal (not the tram), 30 minutes to Waverley, from which it's about a 5-minute walk to BSS. There’s a slight concern that you might arrive when all the girls are busy but that’s fairly unusual. You could phone ahead from the airport bus and reserve. The bus costs £7.50 for a return journey. If you prefer Newtown Sauna, the tram terminates at York Place and the sauna is less than 5 minutes walk. A return ticket on the tram (buy from the machine before getting on) costs £8.50 and the journey’s 40 minutes. It’s a few more yards to walk from the airport exit than the bus.

It seems to me every airport should have the facility.

Many hubs simply don’t — virtually an absence of punting altogether (CDG and almost all American airports) or else the opportunities are simply too far away (most S.A. airports) or too much hassle (Sydney, Dubai).

Who knows how long it would take in a layover from Madrid, Beijing, KL, Bangkok, Heathrow?

[rubric]

Worth adding Geneva to the list -- Fast train into central station, cross over one block and to the left and it's short-time hookerville. Daytime ones very pleasant and polite, meet on the street and go upstairs to a decent pad. Nighttime a bit more wary and prices go up. Downside (apart from not that heap) is that Geneva isn't a major hub, but still worth noting if it happens to be on the way somewhere.

Vienna can be okay - again fast train into central station, and there are a number of places within 5/10 minutes walk

[Marmalade]

Vienna can be okay - again fast train into central station, and there are a number of places within 5/10 minutes walk

 

Useful to know. I’ve not been but heard it’s a beautiful city. A quick use of the UKP search function suggests there are Eros Centers quite handy when one gets off the airport train. (I tried ‘brothels near Vienna’ in Google maps and it brought up a selection. Not sure which is close to the train station but looks promising.)

[cunningman]

Who knows how long it would take in a layover from Madrid, Beijing, KL, Bangkok, Heathrow?

Surely the issue with places like Heathrow is that you have to go through border control and back through security and they can both take a long time?

[rubric]

Surely the issue with places like Heathrow is that you have to go through border control and back through security and they can both take a long time?

Which is why you are better off with smaller cities.

[Marmalade]

Unless someone knows a reliable brothel in the vicinity of Heathrow I think Heathrow’s off the list. I haven’t found the security much worse than other major airports but it’s a long way from the city. In the old days of Lady Marmalade parties, the Heathrow Express could drop you nearby but even those parties have gone now, and afaiaa the successor isn’t at the same location.

Smaller airports tend mostly to be a slightly different category as layovers are less likely (though possible!) ... still handy for punters who want a quick service and don’t have too much luggage!)

Googlemaps tells me I can get from Zurich airport to the Globe in 23minutes, can anyone confirm? I’ve had a layover in Zurich several times but never attempted a P&D from there yet...

Other significant (small) hubs in that area used for transfers that come to mind are Istanbul and Milan. Istanbul is seriously not worth it in my own experience but I don’t know about Milan. Athens is out as you need an hour to get from the airport (though fairly quick after that). Stuttgart is only half an hour to the Hauptbanhof but I can’t remember how long it takes to get to the big multi-storey knock shop from there.

[Marmalade]

There must be many of the smaller German cities... for instance, a fellow punter has just added Nuremberg.
https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=166551.0

[brandonpete]

Someone mentioned Frankfurt....yep but keep away from the bars where they sit at the bar....last time there albeit 15yrs ago..I got 'suckered' not sucked for the most expensive shag ever...415 euro's...well that's what was taken from my wallet...right twat!

[Horizontal pleasures]

Luton?
External Link/Members Only or External Link/Members Only
I know she is near the airport as she told me but I decided not to meet her.
Loads of ladies not too far away

Gatwick?
plenty nearby

[brandonpete]

Someone mentioned Frankfurt....yep but keep away from the bars where they sit at the bar....last time there albeit 15yrs ago..I got 'suckered' not sucked for the most expensive shag ever...415 euro's...well that's what was taken from my wallet...right twat!

The bars in Kaiser Strasse I mean.

[Terrylaw]

“Airport Girls’’ just outside Berlin Schönefeld airport.

Walk out the front of the airport and it’s five minute walk to the club entrance. It’s a Pauschalclub. You pay for a length of time there (fixed price) and fuck any (or all) of the girls that you want. Kind of like a buffet. Sounds brilliant but when I went there were about 5 girls and I didn’t find any of them particularly attractive. They were all Roms with the usual Rom attitude. But they were fuckable and if you've got the time and the stamina you can fuck all of them.

It’s worth going, just for the experience, and certainly better than sitting in the airport.

External Link/Members Only

[Malvolio]

Googlemaps tells me I can get from Zurich airport to the Globe in 23minutes, can anyone confirm? I’ve had a layover in Zurich several times but never attempted a P&D from there yet...

You can do the train journey in 19 minutes from the Airport to Schwerzenbach according to the Swiss Rail website, and then it's a less than five minute walk.  However, you will have to pay 235 CHF (about £190) to punt, which must make it the world's most expensive pump and dump.   

[fakeboobslover]

However, you will have to pay 235 CHF (about £190) to punt, which must make it the world's most expensive pump and dump.

Plenty of other convenient options in Zürich, within 25min from the airport on public transport, saving the £75 just to get into the club. Still should budget a £100 or 120 for the half hour.

Globe is full of Romanians. Somehow though, they seem to enjoy a much better reputation than over here.

[Steely Dan]

External Link/Members Only

Started a page.  Still rough.  Please feel free to dive in and edit.