How I cured my ED and no longer need blue pills

[LoneWolf2020]

i suffer from erection problems but my problem is anxiety, i have never had a great sex life, in fact i have not had sex with my partner for 10 years, thats her choice not mine, so i do watch a lot of porn to get my kicks, but when we did have sex back in the day i had no problem getting hard but as soon as i entered her it went soft, i felt such a failure, but watching porn i have no problems getting a stiffy, i did try a blue pill once but all i got was a headache, so just a bit of backround information on me, i am 59 years old, i am a postman and i walk 13 miles a day, i cycle to work which is a 10 mile round trip and i am a bit of an insomniac, even sleeping tablets dont work. so as punting goes i had my first meet just after christmas, and i managed to get a bit of an erection, but it was still embarrassing, i am now on the look out for another meet, but i might just go for a no sex massage, just to take a bit of pressure off me, so i can relax and just enjoy it.

I would suggest leaving the porn alone, go on at least a fortnight wankban before a punt, pick someone who kisses and explain to her theres no pressure to get you off, you just want to enjoy the physical affection. Be persistent, dont give up if it doesnt work the first time, keep trying, get well reviewed girls off here.

I'm not going to lie, i do take a little blue pill, 50mg viagra connect before a punt, its really working well, i punt once every 5-6 weeks and thats the only time i take a V.

[Waterhouse]

I take natural ground turmeric in decaf coffee - 3 times a day. Here is a recipe (for those who are interested):

(1)    1    teaspoon decaf coffee.
(2)    1    teaspoon ground turmeric.
(3)    1/2 teaspoon of ground cinnamon.
(4)    4 or 5 turns of freshly ground black pepper (honestly, it sounds weird but it tastes great with the other ingredients and you need it so your body can extract the essential and active nutrients from the turmeric).
(5)    1 teaspoon of stevia (a natural sweetener - do not use sugar).

DO NOT PUT MILK IN IT!

Put them all in a cup and pour on your hot water. Stir for about 30 seconds. Keep the teaspoon in the cup and stir before every drink. That will ensure that you don't end up with a sludgey residue at the bottom of your cup and that you ingest all of the goodies.

I know the recipe sounds a bit unusual, but it tastes great - and it made a massive difference to my life. It reduced the inflammation that was causing me all sorts of joint pain (including back pain) I didn't think I would ever be rid of.

It took only two days of drinking this coffee for me to notice a huge difference.

First cup down and only an ever so slight grimace but I don't take sugar or sweeteners so it was just a mug of decaf Nespresso with the three spices.  Truth to tell it wasn't at all bad and I'll easily get used to it.  In fact the after taste is quite pleaseant.

Thanks again for taking the time and effort detail all of this info here.

[Pete556]

I don't drink coffee, but slapped some Turmeric in a decaff lemon and ginger tea.  Tasted ok and hope this is just as good?

[shiptonlad]

Slamboy. Good stuff. How many cups a day?

[Waterhouse]

Slamboy. Good stuff. How many cups a day?

Three times a day....  Guessing morning, noon, and early evening?

[Doc Holliday]

I'm not certain if your question's rhetorical, Doc.

On the face of it yes ..  but I'm not certain myself?   

It just seems to me that these days its an easy option when things first go a little wrong (predominantly in your head) Back then presumably you had to try and sort it out along the lines of Slamboy (although I doubt turmeric cocktails were in vogue then either? 

[SlamBoy]

First cup down and only an ever so slight grimace but I don't take sugar or sweeteners so it was just a mug of decaf Nespresso with the three spices.  Truth to tell it wasn't at all bad and I'll easily get used to it.  In fact the after taste is quite pleaseant.

Thanks again for taking the time and effort detail all of this info here.

You're welcome. I hope it makes a difference for you. Do let me know. 

[SlamBoy]

Three times a day....  Guessing morning, noon, and early evening?

Exactly

[SlamBoy]

Excellent Post. Thanks Slamboy!

You're very welcome. 

[webpunter]

A top thread OP
Most threads on anything performance related seem to end up in with some self focused bollox
Which ain't a lot of use
Or meander off the topic
This one is different & lots of good intel 

When it comes to wanking the reality is that you ain't gonna stop
As mentioned 'above' in this thread then best to at least control the frequency

One on my HL, who i've yet to have a play with, made some salient points on her blog
seximadison    External Link/Members Only
Titled "Jack Off All Trades"
In summary coz i can't seem to cut & paste the section:

- don't bash the living daylights out of it
- drink plenty of water   
- don't bash it too often

She seems to have got the art of cock handling down to perfection
Must make a visit when next in the north-west
She looks FAF & the rack.  Holy shit 

[LoneWolf2020]

Considering she doesnt have a cock (hopefully) she does seem to have a firm handle on what its like to own one

[wristjob]

Towards the end of last year I adjusted my diet (predominantly reducing a lot of carbs, going for more nuts/veg etc) and getting a little more exercise (15 mins 3-4 times a week) and it's had positive effects. Kind of positive - waking up with a boner in the middle of the night hadn't happened in years and makes me feel great but doesn't help me sleep at all.

On porn I have a unusual perspective I guess. A few years back on her there was a guy who had PRED (porn related ED) caused by literally watching porn all the time. It put me off but I still watch porn, I just make sure it's the minimum amount necessary. A while back I had a run in with prostrate issues and apparently have a tight frenulum. With the frenulum if I don't wank.shag for a few days it starts becoming uncomfortable so I need to shoot a load out once a day or so, and that helps keep the prostate healthy too apparently. It's easier to do it without porn than it was but a lot of the time I'll stick some porn on and get the job done as quick as possible.

[LoneWolf2020]

Towards the end of last year I adjusted my diet (predominantly reducing a lot of carbs, going for more nuts/veg etc) and getting a little more exercise (15 mins 3-4 times a week) and it's had positive effects. Kind of positive - waking up with a boner in the middle of the night hadn't happened in years and makes me feel great but doesn't help me sleep at all.

On porn I have a unusual perspective I guess. A few years back on her there was a guy who had PRED (porn related ED) caused by literally watching porn all the time. It put me off but I still watch porn, I just make sure it's the minimum amount necessary. A while back I had a run in with prostrate issues and apparently have a tight frenulum. With the frenulum if I don't wank.shag for a few days it starts becoming uncomfortable so I need to shoot a load out once a day or so, and that helps keep the prostate healthy too apparently. It's easier to do it without porn than it was but a lot of the time I'll stick some porn on and get the job done as quick as possible.

Maybe the frenulum thing is what was wrong with me, i tried nofap and on day 31 under my arse was killing me, wanked a bit sharpish and it settled down.

Nofap wasnt a total waste of time because it educated me in what porn does to the brain and how important it is to moderate wanking

[Waterhouse]

You're welcome. I hope it makes a difference for you. Do let me know. 

Will do.

I found a 380g tub of Turmerix in the cupboard that we must've got a couple of years back... has all the key ingredients and is over 70% pure turmeric.  I've tried it today and it tastes better plus it seems to be much more soluble than the ground turmeric and cinnamon I tried yesterday.

Maybe worth considering but looking at the website, the price point is a total piss-take - £55 for a 260g tub...  External Link/Members Only  I think we got a deal at the IHE two or three years ago and got 2 x 380g tubs for about £48
 

[hungrypunt]

Hang on, I've been wanking for years to porn and never had no problems. Although I don't wank to the hardcore stuff that distorts what someone would expect from a woman in reality and I'm 26, so not sure if that makes any difference.

My main point is I think porn gets too much of a bad rap sometimes. It's useful if you need to get stuff done without having lustful thoughts distracting you, but I digress.

Porn doesnt just desensitise the sexual aspect, it dumbs down all of your responses
Bit long winded but give it a watch, interesting part about older guys from 13m 50

External Link/Members Only

[mrbluerunner]

Good post SlamBoy,

Really positive way to use the forum.

My experience (I'm in my late 50's) was that I'd watch porn in the brief time my partner was out and take the opportunity to quickly bash one out (gradually developing more and more of a death grip) - together I feel that this did lead to a fair degree of insensitivity.  The effect was that when seeing a SP, even when using a blue pill I would get hard but maintaining it whilst penetrating was difficult.  I was generally able to cum once but not twice.

Like the OP I have improved my fitness, hydrate more, watch porn less and wank less.  The effect has been positive and I no longer use the blue pill - I'm only an occasional SP visitor but the experience has improved a lot.

I'd recommend following the advice of the OP even if you're not currently having any issues - prevention being better than cure.
 

[SlamBoy]

Good post SlamBoy,

Really positive way to use the forum.

My experience (I'm in my late 50's) was that I'd watch porn in the brief time my partner was out and take the opportunity to quickly bash one out (gradually developing more and more of a death grip) - together I feel that this did lead to a fair degree of insensitivity.  The effect was that when seeing a SP, even when using a blue pill I would get hard but maintaining it whilst penetrating was difficult.  I was generally able to cum once but not twice.

Like the OP I have improved my fitness, hydrate more, watch porn less and wank less.  The effect has been positive and I no longer use the blue pill - I'm only an occasional SP visitor but the experience has improved a lot.

I'd recommend following the advice of the OP even if you're not currently having any issues - prevention being better than cure.

You're very welcome 

Good point about prevention being better than cure 

[Payyourwaymate]

Porn doesnt just desensitise the sexual aspect, it dumbs down all of your responses
Bit long winded but give it a watch, interesting part about older guys from 13m 50

External Link/Members Only

That was a very interesting talk, thank you for sharing. I do agree with his points and see the validity of his argument. I think when I was in Uni I came close to becoming desensitized to porn but decided to reduce the amount I was wanking before I stumbled onto extreme stuff; so yes I can definitely see what he is saying.

As an ex-porn/wanking connoisseur, I hope I can provide some insight.

Porn in itself though I think, was never made to intentionally get young men addicted though,men being addicted just happens to be a by product. Now I see porn as entertainment/ a crutch for a quick release. In my opinion I think porn is a form of escapism for men that for some reason are unable to live the sex lives that they want. Either they don't get much or any sexual attention from girls or the sex life they do have is not what they want. Potentially to the extent that, say for example you had an average looking girl for a GF, average all round and you had to deal with her mood swings and her not fulfilling your sexual fantasies; but then at a click of a mouse you access to 1000s of HD model looking chicks doing everything you could possibly desire . Most guys are going to pick the porn as it is more convenient, I would. Perhaps older guys would not but I can only speak for guys in my age group. 

Yes overtime when your jacking off to model looking girls getting dicked down, bukkakes and gangbanged and you return to your average looking girl who can't deepthroat or looks HD hot, off course there's going to be erection problems  . You've tricked your brain into associating sexual activity with what you have seen in porn and the real life girl is now foreign.

Porn is effectively voyeurism to an extent as you are essentially watching another guy having sex and getting off on it pretending its you  . When that dawned on me I stopped using porn as much as I did back then.

Sure, porn has had it's negative effects on men but if you take that away then what will all the poor guys that have no access girls or don't punt do?

It's not like the 70s and 80s where people could just go out and talk to each other casually without social media or fears of harassment anymore. I'm not making excuses for them, just my observations. I think porn used in moderation that is not extreme stuff can potentially helpful in the right hands, it's just unfortunate that barely any one can pull it off due to the potential dopamine overload  .

Anyway, with the UK gov requiring age verification for porn soon perhaps the problem may be alleviated in the teens maybe well, those that do not know about VPNS  .

[MrMatrix]

Excellent thread Slamboy. Anxiety is a real issue. The thread below ran for some 12 pages and covers this issue further. A lot of info here.
A guide on how to cure erictile problems https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=82996.msg1681852#msg1681852

I once went 6 weeks with Nofap, so there was I thinking the next punt it would all be OK. Nope, didn't happen.
Really pleased you've improved your performance, must be a great feeling 
Never the less I agree with all you say OP. 

[SlamBoy]

Excellent thread Slamboy. Anxiety is a real issue. The thread below ran for some 12 pages and covers this issue further. A lot of info here.
A guide on how to cure erictile problems https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=82996.msg1681852#msg1681852

I once went 6 weeks with Nofap, so there was I thinking the next punt it would all be OK. Nope, didn't happen.
Really pleased you've improved your performance, must be a great feeling 
Never the less I agree with all you say OP. 

Much obliged, kind sir 

[Moby Dick]

Thanks for sharing. All Sounds familiar.

I had similar issues a few years ago.
Plus when I could get it up I would become flushed, and then get sharp head pains close to climaxing. So would have to lie down. I’m not a doctor but blood pressure and anxiety must be key factors.
Reduced alcohol and porn. Still eat the same (fairly healthy meat and 2 veg type), but exercise a lot more, cycling and home gym. Lost 2 stone, still a bit more to go but don’t have any performance issues any more. Can cum standing up, no hands, let the WG take the load.
Just wish I could spunk 3 times an hour like I could 20years a go.

Plus as my belly shrinks my cock seems to grow.
Well at least I can see it now without having to breath in 

[poundstock]

Slam...excellent stuff...weight loss and Turmeric for me....Luckily I don't have the anxiety problem as I have always looked upon the Punt as an event..even if it's crap...oh yes and the exercise for me.

As an old guy taking Finasteride and unable to take the blue pill because of low blood pressure my chances of ejaculating are at best 50/50. The key is to accept the situation, be relaxed and enjoy the event whatever the outcome. Must try this turmeric.

[Rogeringon]

This thread has been a bit of a wake up call for me and made me realise that I was spending too much time watching videos yet not getting much arousal from it. It is now one week since I have watched any videos. I have only looked at just a few still pics, particularly of someone I am seeing again soon, but no videos at all

I am a veteran and as the talk that was linked to suggests, things are getting more positive for me already. I have lost the frustration in wondering why online porn was not having the same effect as in the past and my libido is getting better.

I am more or less retired but I have a number of involvements and the other main benefit I find, is that I am using my time much more productively, without breaking off to look at something like xhamster every time something gets a bit demanding.

[Jujy78]

To the OP thanks for your advice. I'm very ignorant in this department and had no idea I had ED. Im Gona sound stupid but I thought ED meant you don't get the urge to have sex 🤦 but it's alot more than that as I can get an erection 3 to 4 times a day and wank myself to oblivion I thought ED wasn't an issue for me but that was part of the problem. Basically I had problems penetrating it won't go in and if it did go in I wouldn't feel much It felt like my dick was swimming in there. I confided with a regular SP exactly what happens and she said it could be the girth of my penis has gone small or the thought of putting a condom puts me off. The latter wasn't the case as I had the same issue with my partner with no condoms on. I'm surprised now that she didn't think of ED. After reading a few forums on this topic I realised my problems age related, obese and lots of porn and wanking 3 or 4 times a day. I don't want to take the pills route as I don't like taking medications unless I absolutely have to. For now I'm working on my weight, haven't seen porn for a whole week and only masturbated once this week. I bought a ring last week and put it on for the first time damn my dick grew half inch extra and it was so hard lol made the mistake of wanking with it to test it out as I had a punting appointment next morning. Went with so much expectations that I'll do this and that. But once I was there and after a BJ went in it went soft again. However SP understood and gave me a prolonged BJ then I managed to get it in ok and pounded till completion. I didn't attempt any other position in case things went wrong again. Anyone have any tips for using the ring or is it just what it is a ring? I'm hoping to have a punt next week again will try to go in without watching any porn or masturbation. Tbh I think I've done ok no porn for a week so far and only one wank. Hope it continues and I manage to get this reversed.

[Henry767]

As an old guy taking Finasteride and unable to take the blue pill because of low blood pressure my chances of ejaculating are at best 50/50. The key is to accept the situation, be relaxed and enjoy the event whatever the outcome. Must try this turmeric.

I was offered Finasteride for enlarged prostate and difficulty urinating  few years ago. Another medication I was on caused some leakage and a hard on, when got, that felt hard on the inside only and desensitized. The research on Finasteride brought up some worrying feedback. During a conversation with a continence nurse doing a flow test, she suggested I try a catheter, kind of pushed me into trying one against my slightly horrified reticence. It's been brilliant, have to empty completely 3 or 4 times a day, and all the erection problems from the pharmaceuticals went away.

[PumpDump]

Thanks for sharing, very interesting read. I too take blue pills so am interested in how I can stop.

(i)   Stopped watching and jerking off to porn - this helped increase my arousal response to the slightest stimulation.

One of the reasons I watch porn and jerk off is to reduce my punting frequency. When I feel the slightest bit horny I am straight on AW/VS planning a punt and likely I will go that day, I am very impulsive and this can cost a lot of money. However if I can knock one out myself, the urge disappears immediately. Any tips on how I can quit porn and also keep the punting down to a reasonable level?

[kingmg]

Lay of wanking few days before a punt
I go a week to two weeks if for a party.
I would still pop multiple viagra at a party so I'm always ready to fuck

[Thephoenix]

I would still pop multiple viagra at a party so I'm always ready to fuck

Is that a joke chum?

[fredhiggins]

Any tips on how I can quit porn and also keep the punting down to a reasonable level?

That's a hard challenge.

[Munter84]

That's a hard challenge.

Perhaps he should sleep on it? As Confucius said, "Man who go to bed with sex on mind, wake up with solution in hand"

[pythondan]

I had not noticed this thread when originally posted. It contains some useful information and I am curious about the experiences of punters who have followed the recommendations contained in it.

Has anyone who previously took ED medication managed to reverse it to the extent that they visit girls confident that they will be able to maintain an erection? Given the price of punting and the time the likes of Viagra take to work you would have to be pretty sure to visit without first taking your ED meds and risking not being able to perform.

I have been using Viagra Connect for around six years. This time included a period of two years where I lost a fair bit of weight and went to the gym several times a week to do a mix of cardio and weights. I felt a lot better generally whilst doing this but still used the Viagra as I still had concerns about ED.

[MrMatrix]

Perhaps he should sleep on it? As Confucius said, "Man who go to bed with sex on mind, wake up with solution in hand"

[Dylanbob]

Thanks for sharing, very interesting read. I too take blue pills so am interested in how I can stop.

One of the reasons I watch porn and jerk off is to reduce my punting frequency. When I feel the slightest bit horny I am straight on AW/VS planning a punt and likely I will go that day, I am very impulsive and this can cost a lot of money. However if I can knock one out myself, the urge disappears immediately. Any tips on how I can quit porn and also keep the punting down to a reasonable level?

It won't solve your issue but I feel a lot like you.

I recently have tried to split my punts into those moments where you need 30/60 with a woman and when you need a girl to just lay on her back for 5 mins. Its not perfect but saves you the odd pound or two (and i mean that in a serious way)

Sort of RE my punt with Pakistani Princess in Manchester on here.

[Natwest]

I started using Viagra at the age of 67. My marriage broke up a year or so previous to that, having discovered the delights of Adultwork and Seeking and not been quite as clever as I thought! Later, I met someone much younger off a dating site who needed a good confidence boost in life and career which the more confidence I gave her, the less I seemed to have. I started secretly taking Viagra and when that relationship broke up and I went back to SP's and SB's I always made sure I had taken a tablet.

Fast forward to my 70th birthday and subsequent to that my daughters wedding where I knew I would have to see my first wife for the first time for 15 years, I decided to lose weight and generally get a little fitter. That did wonders for my morale and confidence and around September last year I met a girl on Seeking and the arrangement fast turned into a relationship. In the beginning, as we lived a distance apart I could only see her once a fortnight and in order to be super horny, I refrained from wanking. Combined with weight loss confidence and being honest with her I permanently weened myself off Viagra after our first month. Even though I am coming up to 72, I have no problems in getting rock hard or keeping up with her much younger insatiable sexual appetite. Whether I would be confident enough to see an SP without Viagra, I don't know as I haven't tried.

I hated taking the stuff because of the indigestion, stuffy nose and psychologically it made me feel old. Now I feel great, reckon I look pretty good and have a fantastic sex life. So there is hope. Less weight, less wanking and a lot more honesty with my partner appeared to be the answer.

[Maak]

I stopped wanking & porn, I was back to normal after 4-5 months. I'm a stone overweight.

I got a bunch of blue pill, I don't need anymore. I will use them for special occasions to shag a new WG, senseless.

[Jujy78]

I stopped wanking & porn, I was back to normal after 4-5 months. I'm a stone overweight.

I got a bunch of blue pill, I don't need anymore. I will use them for special occasions to shag a new WG, senseless.

Did you completely stop wanking? It's been just over a week for me with no porn. I don't really miss porn but I've wanked 3 times in that time so twice a week id say average. I'm sure twice a week is ok isn't it?

[PumpDump]

I started using Viagra at the age of 67. My marriage broke up a year or so previous to that, having discovered the delights of Adultwork and Seeking and not been quite as clever as I thought! Later, I met someone much younger off a dating site who needed a good confidence boost in life and career which the more confidence I gave her, the less I seemed to have. I started secretly taking Viagra and when that relationship broke up and I went back to SP's and SB's I always made sure I had taken a tablet.

Fast forward to my 70th birthday and subsequent to that my daughters wedding where I knew I would have to see my first wife for the first time for 15 years, I decided to lose weight and generally get a little fitter. That did wonders for my morale and confidence and around September last year I met a girl on Seeking and the arrangement fast turned into a relationship. In the beginning, as we lived a distance apart I could only see her once a fortnight and in order to be super horny, I refrained from wanking. Combined with weight loss confidence and being honest with her I permanently weened myself off Viagra after our first month. Even though I am coming up to 72, I have no problems in getting rock hard or keeping up with her much younger insatiable sexual appetite. Whether I would be confident enough to see an SP without Viagra, I don't know as I haven't tried.

I hated taking the stuff because of the indigestion, stuffy nose and psychologically it made me feel old. Now I feel great, reckon I look pretty good and have a fantastic sex life. So there is hope. Less weight, less wanking and a lot more honesty with my partner appeared to be the answer.

Wow, that is awesome. Fair play to you.

[Natwest]

Wow, that is awesome. Fair play to you.

Thanks PD, appreciate that. It helped very much that I knew she'd be completely understanding if I couldn't get an erection. That was game changing. I still occasionally worry but everything seems to work okay  just as it should.

[Maak]

Did you completely stop wanking? It's been just over a week for me with no porn. I don't really miss porn but I've wanked 3 times in that time so twice a week id say average. I'm sure twice a week is ok isn't it?

I cut down my wanking from 1 time a week to 1 time a month

[dross]

Thanks for sharing, very interesting read. I too take blue pills so am interested in how I can stop.

One of the reasons I watch porn and jerk off is to reduce my punting frequency. When I feel the slightest bit horny I am straight on AW/VS planning a punt and likely I will go that day, I am very impulsive and this can cost a lot of money. However if I can knock one out myself, the urge disappears immediately. Any tips on how I can quit porn and also keep the punting down to a reasonable level?

Take a cold shower or do some exercise, get some dopamine from something else is my solution.  Strange question maybe but are you finding you're horny or are you bored and then thinking about tits and getting horny? I find most wanking etc stems from boredom for me

[dross]

I started using Viagra at the age of 67. My marriage broke up a year or so previous to that, having discovered the delights of Adultwork and Seeking and not been quite as clever as I thought! Later, I met someone much younger off a dating site who needed a good confidence boost in life and career which the more confidence I gave her, the less I seemed to have. I started secretly taking Viagra and when that relationship broke up and I went back to SP's and SB's I always made sure I had taken a tablet.

Fast forward to my 70th birthday and subsequent to that my daughters wedding where I knew I would have to see my first wife for the first time for 15 years, I decided to lose weight and generally get a little fitter. That did wonders for my morale and confidence and around September last year I met a girl on Seeking and the arrangement fast turned into a relationship. In the beginning, as we lived a distance apart I could only see her once a fortnight and in order to be super horny, I refrained from wanking. Combined with weight loss confidence and being honest with her I permanently weened myself off Viagra after our first month. Even though I am coming up to 72, I have no problems in getting rock hard or keeping up with her much younger insatiable sexual appetite. Whether I would be confident enough to see an SP without Viagra, I don't know as I haven't tried.

I hated taking the stuff because of the indigestion, stuffy nose and psychologically it made me feel old. Now I feel great, reckon I look pretty good and have a fantastic sex life. So there is hope. Less weight, less wanking and a lot more honesty with my partner appeared to be the answer.

You champ, well done! 

[Jujy78]

Just an update 3 weeks of no porn at all and masturbating about 6 times (twice a week evened out) and already I'm seeing a difference. Had a punt last week and left my ring in the car. Couldn't go back to the car as she was being arsey about it. Anyway did ok in 2 positions had no issues getting it in although it still felt a bit loose in there but much better feeling than before.

Also I noticed when masturbating dick is a bit more stiffer than before.

[rhinot]

I have met someone in civvy street.
I also have a long term partner - No sex and little affection in the last couple of years. Very little for a long time.

The new lady has a big sex drive and has other partners purely for sex. She has been badly hurt in relationships in the past so this suits her needs.
I wanted sex, kisses and cuddles. Get this in spades with her.

First few meets were ace and I was fully functional.
We have massively hit it off. So much in common and really enjoy each others company. Text and talk a lot.
About 2 months in and seen each other 10 times or so. Anything from a quick lunchtime to an overnight. Most have been a few hours.
We have both confessed feelings for each other. Unexpected on both sides.

During one of the lunchtimes I went soft. First time I can remember this happening.
It has been happening for the last 4 - 5 meets
Getting hard and going soft quickly or struggling to get it up despite very horny situations.
She is not too bothered about it as we do much more than penetration. I am very bothered about it.

With the feelings I have developed, I am a bit conflicted with her other partners.
She says the fact I am in a LTR affects her. I have said that I am not looking to change this any time soon.

Very confused about where this is going and maybe the stress/anxiety is causing the ED?
In my 50s, quite active and in reasonable shape. Can walk miles at speed without getting out of puff.
Normally hard in the mornings but not noticed this in the last few days.
I am struggling to get turned on. Usually a visit to the wank bank gets me going and gets me rock hard.
Previously a sexy text from her would have me stuck at my desk for a few minutes !

No problems with SPs I have visited. Usually 1 hour with one shot so maybe not comparable.
Been 'punting' for 18 months. Started with massage/HE and 4 x FS in the last 6 months.
Have not been punting or massage since seeing the new lady.

I don't know how ED works. Gradual or sudden?
Would pills work?
Cock ring?
Or is this psychological?
Love the situation I have with her and want to perform.

[daviemac]

Thread here about it, do we need another.   

https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=247763.0

[MissWolf]

I would suspect it's psychological

You have developed the feels and your guilt towards your partner is in your head, your cock is directly connected to your head,

The more it happens,  the more you will worry the more you worry about not performing the worse it will be.

Spend a few hours reading the thread Davie linked it's all there

[Colston36]

I have met someone in civvy street.
I also have a long term partner - No sex and little affection in the last couple of years. Very little for a long time.

The new lady has a big sex drive and has other partners purely for sex. She has been badly hurt in relationships in the past so this suits her needs.
I wanted sex, kisses and cuddles. Get this in spades with her.

First few meets were ace and I was fully functional.
We have massively hit it off. So much in common and really enjoy each others company. Text and talk a lot.
About 2 months in and seen each other 10 times or so. Anything from a quick lunchtime to an overnight. Most have been a few hours.
We have both confessed feelings for each other. Unexpected on both sides.

During one of the lunchtimes I went soft. First time I can remember this happening.
It has been happening for the last 4 - 5 meets
Getting hard and going soft quickly or struggling to get it up despite very horny situations.
She is not too bothered about it as we do much more than penetration. I am very bothered about it.

With the feelings I have developed, I am a bit conflicted with her other partners.
She says the fact I am in a LTR affects her. I have said that I am not looking to change this any time soon.

Very confused about where this is going and maybe the stress/anxiety is causing the ED?
In my 50s, quite active and in reasonable shape. Can walk miles at speed without getting out of puff.
Normally hard in the mornings but not noticed this in the last few days.
I am struggling to get turned on. Usually a visit to the wank bank gets me going and gets me rock hard.
Previously a sexy text from her would have me stuck at my desk for a few minutes !

No problems with SPs I have visited. Usually 1 hour with one shot so maybe not comparable.
Been 'punting' for 18 months. Started with massage/HE and 4 x FS in the last 6 months.
Have not been punting or massage since seeing the new lady.

I don't know how ED works. Gradual or sudden?
Would pills work?
Cock ring?
Or is this psychological?
Love the situation I have with her and want to perform.

There is no evidence that masturbation affects performance. None.
At 87 I can still manage, with occasional lapses. I guess it's psychological, and certainly unpredictable. Last week I had a trio with two of the sexiest women I know. I couldn't cum. A few days later I saw a hag when I was very tired who was by any sane criteria not very attractive. Came in no time. It's all a mystery I'll never solve.

[akauya]

Very confused about where this is going and maybe the stress/anxiety is causing the ED?

Most likely yes.

I completely understand where you're coming from. Having sex with someone you're emotionally attached with is wonderful but it appears you have guilt feelings about cheating on your long term partner (LTP) as you don't have any intention of leaving her for your lover.

Now this I don't understand... you said "The new lady has a big sex drive and has other partners purely for sex. She has been badly hurt in relationships in the past so this suits her needs." and then "She says the fact I am in a LTR affects her."   So, the new lady has numerous partners, of which you are one of them, and yet the fact that you have a long term partner affects her? What does she want a stable of single men?

You seem to have got yourself involved in a rather messy situation, none of which will help you psychologically unless you come to terms with the whole thing. I know because I have had numerous affairs with both attached and single women and none of them ended up well. It's worse when you fall in love with some of them and them with you. You don't want to get there.

Also you didn't mention how old this new lady is. If she's much younger than you and you don't have any intentions whatsoever of leaving your LTP for her then my advice is to leave this younger woman and not ruin her future prospects. I'm speaking from experience, I'm also in my 50s and one of my affairs was with with a much younger woman who gave me the best of her years never demanding of me to be with her full time or leave my wife for her. She always said the part time relationship suited her... until it didn't. Several years later she was an older woman and resented our relationship for wasting her time (although she never explicitly said this) and I feel very guilty about this.

So it seems you have a couple options, you either become a heartless womaniser and enjoy your LTP for whatever benefit it gives you, keep enjoying your affair and keep punting. Or be brave and strong (as I wasn't) and leave this new woman and stick to punting for sex and enjoy your LTR for the emotional benefits it may give you. Leaving the new lady will hurt if you have feelings for her but it may be better in the long run.

Basically, I'm guessing, it's the complicated relationships and guilt that's messing you up in respect of ED. If your head is not in the right place ED medication might not even work.

HTH

[Doc Holliday]

Should it be merged Davie?

I would suspect it's psychological

Indeed. I would suggest Rhinot that the issue here is not sexual function per se, but complex 'emotions' causing interference. I would suggest the main one is that his new FB is not exclusive to you. Not sure how (or if) you change that?

EDIT Akauya has posted a longer version of my reply 

[daviemac]

Should it be merged Davie?

I have done, there's loads of info in this thread.

[JontyR]

If you had met someone outside your relationship with whom you are carrying on an affair then thats one thing. The fact that you are doing so whilst racking up (an impressive) 21 reviewable punts in the last 12 months gives a different slant.
I'd wonder whether the feelings you are feeling for your bit on the side are actually more akin to EAS.
I'd also ask why you are so certain about not wanting to change your existing relationship status. Whilst I would question whether you should give up one relationship for another, I'd really want to know the answer to how you think your long term partner would react to your behaviours if she found out the full extent.